Ten songs that might make you want to call an insurance company and sue your employer...
(By the way, if you do the online marketing for an insurance company and you're thinking about leaving a link in my comments... please don't. I'll only delete it. See if you can insure yourselves against that.)
Been a while since I featured a country-heavy Top Ten here, but nobody loves a good workplace accident like your average country singer...
10. Alabama - Roll On, 18 Wheeler
When Daddy's a long distance lorry driver, you wait every night for his call. But what happens when it's the police making that call...?
Well it's Wednesday evening, momma's waitin' by the phone9. .38 Special - Bone Against Steel
It rings but it's not his voice
Seems the highway patrol has found a jack-knifed rig
In a snow bank in Illinois
But the driver was missin' and the search had been abandoned
For the weather had everything stalled
And they had checked all the houses and the local motels
When they had some more news they'd call
And she told them when they found him to tell him that she loved him
And she hung up the phone singin'...
Roll on highway, roll on along
Roll on daddy till you get back home...
Extra points if anyone can find any other songs which actually contain the phrase "workplace accident"...
As the moon rose in the window8. Flaming Lips - Lightning Strikes The Postman
Rufus began his tale
About an oil rig near the gulf coast
Puttin' man against metal
In a classic work-place accident
He told how the drill commenced to shakin'
The platform started to rock
The chain began breaking
They were straight out of luck
And then the sky kinda lite up
Just like a lightnin' bolt had struck
What happens when God doesn't get his birthday cards on time...
I got yer package; it was all a mess7. Morrissey - Hairdresser On Fire
Lightning strikes the postman in his chest
I hope that you remember the things you had to say
It's just a supernatural delay
What? Oh, yeah. Sorry. I almost forgot...
Was a client, over-cautious6. Johnny Cash - Wreck of the Old '97
He made you nervous
And when he said
"I'm gonna sue you"
Oh, I really felt for you
I could probably do a Top Ten Train Crash Songs... there's certainly plenty of runaway locomotives in my collection. Pity the unlucky engine driver...
And then a telegram come from Washington station,5. Dire Straits - Industrial Disease
This is how it read:
"Oh that brave engineer that run ol 97,
"Is lyin in old Danville dead."
'Cos he was going down a grade making 90 miles an hour,
The whistle broke into a scream.
He was found in the wreck with his hand on the throttle,
Scalded to death by the steam.
Shh. Don't tell anyone this was also in My Top Ten Bette Davis Songs. Nobody will notice.
Warning lights are flashing down at Quality Control4. Jimmy Dean - Big John
Somebody threw a spanner and they threw him in the hole
There's rumors in the loading bay and anger in the town
Somebody blew the whistle and the walls came down
There's a meeting in the boardroom they're trying to trace the smell
There's leaking in the washroom there's a sneak in personnel
Somewhere in the corridors someone was heard to sneeze
Goodness me, could this be Industrial Disease?
When that mine collapses on you, you're going to want Big John down there with you.
3. The Highwaymen - Highwayman
Here's Johnny again... along with Kris, Waylon and Willie. Both the sailor and the dam-builder meet potentially litigious ends here... I'm not sure the highwayman or the star ship captain have much of a case.
Jimmy Webb Is God.
2. Pulp - Sheffield Sex City
Jarvis at his sleaziest: pure class!
Oh, what about the workplace accident? It's in here, amidst the smut...
The tobacconist caught fire, and everyone in the street died of lung cancer.I reckon that's what the Americans call a Class Action Suit right there...
1. Jason Isbell - The Life You Chose
The stand out track from a stand out album, Something More Than Free... these lines always make me smile.
I got lucky when I finished school
Lost three fingers to a faulty tool
Settled out of court, I'm no one's fool
You probably knew
Any potential law-suits in your library?
And then there always is an Accident Waiting to Happen
ReplyDeleteIf your workplace is Number 10, perhaps. (Where better to find dedicated swallowers of fascism?)
ReplyDeleteAccidents Will Happen (No matter how many levels of Safety Control and mitigation you put in place. The HSE believe all accidents are avoidable, but the only real way to avoid accidents is "Do Nothing")
ReplyDeletewas the original title of the Elvis Costello song - but it wouldn't fit in the record label unless he used a smaller font, so decided to go with the non-parenthesised version
Casey Jones - The Union Scab by Joe Hill warns of what happens to scabs when they ignore a strike call. Casey keeps driving those trains until "some one put a bunch of railroad ties across the track,
ReplyDeleteAnd Casey hit the river with an awful crack."
And then there's what happens to "Blackleg Miner" (a 19th-century English folk song) although my favourite version is a recent cover by Richard Thompson - "So, divint gang near the Seghill mine.
Across the way they stretch a line,
To catch the throat and break the spine
Of the dirty blackleg miner."
Nae messin' - if ye get ma drift?
There is always an accident about to happen :(
ReplyDeleteLet us know if our Denver Colorado Lawyers team can help you in any ways.