Wednesday, 6 March 2019

My Top Ten Stupid Things People Do In Pop Songs


Sometimes pop stars can be proper daft. Here's ten daft things famous people do in pop songs. Don't try these at home...

10. The Smiths - The Queen Is Dead

I broke into the palace with a sponge and a rusty spanner

To do what, exactly? Bleed the royal radiators?

9. Tom Petty & The Heartbreakers - Learning To Fly


I'm learning to fly, but I ain't got wings

Coming down is the hardest thing

Pretty obvious where you're going wrong there, Tom.

8. Del Amitri - This Side Of The Morning


And when I knew it was over
I jumped into a taxi and said, 
"Just guess where to go"

Well, that's one way to get ripped off by a taxi driver.

7. Ezra Furman - Come Here, Get Away From Me

I got money saved up somewhere
Lost the card and the chequebook, 
The name of the bank 

And that's just careless. No chance of getting a PPI claim out of them either.

6. John Lennon - Nobody Told Me

There's always something cooking and nothing in the pot

Sure fire way to burn your pans, John.

5. Delays - Long Time Coming

Threw your Lego in the lake
Why'd you wanna go do that for?

Take it from me, you don't want to do that, lads - Lego is bloody expensive!

4. Queen - Hammer To Fall

Lock your door
'Cos rain is falling
Through your window pane

Maybe shut the window before worrying about the door, Freddie?

3. Elton John - Your Song

I sat on the roof and kicked off the moss

Generally, a roof that's covered in moss is going to be pretty slippy. Look what happened to Rod Hull, Elton. Accident waiting to happen #1.

2. Van Morrison - Brown-Eyed Girl

Slipping and sliding, all along the waterfall with you

Accident waiting to happen #2, Van. 

Sir Thumbsaloft has some advice about that too.

1. Air Supply - All Out Of Love

I'm lying alone with my head on the phone
Thinking of you till it hurts

Well, stop lying with your head on the blinking phone then! Particularly because, back when you muppets recorded this song, telephones looked like this...


Hardly conducive to a good night's sleep, is it?

Get a pillow!

(Same goes to David Bowie - "I leaned back on my radio" - get some bloody cushions!)



Any daft / inexplicable habits pop stars have revealed to you? Please share them with the group.

10 comments:

  1. Got my motorcycle jacket but I'm walking all the time
    This is England - The Clash

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hilarious, Rol. Love it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Oh and how about these:
    Thin Lizzy - Jailbreak:
    "Tonight there's gonna be a jailbreak, somewhere in this town"

    Somewhere in this town? The jail might be a good place to start...

    and
    The Righteous Brothers - You've Lost That Loving Feeling:
    "You never close your eyes any more when I kiss your lips"

    Well clearly neither do you, mate. Talk about pot and kettle!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Great fun Rol - this one could run and run!

    ReplyDelete
  5. "We don't need no education"

    Maybe you do, and then perhaps you will understand what a double-negative is

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Alice Cooper once famously said 'We can't even think of a word that rhymes.'

      Delete
    2. Both produced by Bob Ezrin - coincidence, or meaningless trivia?

      Delete
    3. In the world of pub quizzes, no trivia is meaningless.

      Delete
  6. Very funny - It's always grated on me (and many others) that Charlene sings of having been to Nice and the Isle of Greece - It's not an island!

    ReplyDelete
  7. The La's - Timeless Melody
    "If you look with your eyes
    Do you know what you will find
    Open your mind"

    What else are you going to look with?

    ReplyDelete

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