Conversations With Ben #14: Mr. Blobby & The Super Gonorrhea

Rol: One of my greatest musical heroes just died.

Ben: The man who wrote the Mr Blobby song?

Robert Blobbert?

Obviously.

I always imagined it was BBC interns in the Blobby suit that Edmonds played some weird fetish game with by making them wear the suit...

Who was the death?

Jim Steinman.

The Footloose guy? Wasn't that the other day?

I only saw it today. He didn't write Footloose. That was Kenny Loggins. He did write Holding Out For A Hero, but that's a lesser work. He also wrote all the good Meat Loaf songs, plus Total Eclipse of the Heart and some stuff that Celine Dion murdered, but was done far better by others.

Chuck Berry + Phil Spector + Springsteen + Wagner + a shameless sense of melodrama and hyperbole = Jim Steinman.

Wagner as in...?

Or Wagner as in...?

Richard.

Seems like it could be a little of both, actually.

I think that's a fair point.

Did I ever tell you about how one of my old best mate's girlfriend's parents were Rod Stewart and Tina Turner tribute acts? Big ones.

They had a house in Penistone. One of the massive ones on the river.

We used to stay over a lot. They were really nice and loved hosting us all the time. They had a recording studio in their garden where they, and other tribute acts would record. 

One of the most surreal moments in my life is waking up, hungover, walking into their kitchen and seeing Rod Stewart, Marc Bolan and Meatloaf smoking weed.

Sounds like that Pulp video...

I don't think I've ever seen the video. I thought it was the video to Disney Time. No idea why.

And now I remember that Disney Time is on Cocker's solo album.

I'd forgotten that track completely.

Some forgettable tunes on that album. Especially when it starts with the swagger of Don't Let Him Waste Your Time. It definitely trails off.

Maybe. I love that final Pulp album though.

It's the one I've listened to the least. Listening priority in order: This Is Hardcore, His N Hers, Different Class, PULP. Does anybody even count the first two?

By Pulp do you mean Intro?

There were 4 albums before Intro / HnH. All contain interesting material, but not up to later standards.

Fairground is a terrible song and that's all I can think about with their old stuff.

Separations is the best of the early albums. Countdown, My Legendary Girlfriend in particular.

For me, We Love Life is the perfect coda to their career. I love TIH (favourite album of 90s) but I prefer that they went out on a happy note.

Scott Walker too. Pop sensibilities SW, not mad old hermit making unlistenable twaddle SW. Quite an achievement.

First text from the boss this morning came through at 6.20.

Tell her to leave you alone. That is not just not on, it's absolutely pathetic.

I have.

Send her an envelope full of flour. Make her think it's ricin or anthrax.

She'd only ring me up and ask her what I thought she should do with it.

Well, this week's Taskmaster should hopefully cheer you up. A very funny one.

One word.

Casserole.

I await the vague upward curl at the edge of my mouth.

In reply, Ben sends the following video...

I think that's the least hip song you've ever sent me. I respect that.

No. That would be this one...

I found this record in a shop years ago. And I'm still not positive that Tennille is not actually attracted to muskrats.

Nah. Captain & Tennille are acceptable kitsch.

That song should never be acceptable. And The Cap is a prick.

*Was* a prick

I didn't realise you knew him.

We used to go to the same milk bar.

I've never been able to hear Secret Smile in the same way since someone told me it was a metaphor for a vagina.

That's uncomfortable.

Maybe you're mixing it up with the film, Teeth?

Was that the Barry Gibb biopic?

That's what I thought I was settling down for...

That film would have been even scarier if her nether regions had Barry Gibb's face. And maybe a big medallion and huge white collars.

That needs to be optioned as soon as possible.

My Saturday night treat this week is my Covid jab.

Well, you're lucky. I'm still here without one.

Just got down to the under 50s. But I thought you might have been fast tracked because of your history.

Nah. That'd involve competence at a national level.

Maybe they have you down as an insurgent. You'll be last on the list, after Putin's undercover agents.

On a more positive side of all that, last year this week I was sat gasping for breath walking up stairs. Today I ran 10k for the first time in my life.

Marathon next?

I think I'm going to try for a half marathon next year. Maybe Manchester, which is flat compared to Sheffield.

Rol replies with the following image... which Ben chooses to ignore.

I wish I could grow a 'tache like that man in the background.

I have a weird obsession with middle age men and moustaches.

My hair is too blonde otherwise I would definitely just have a 'tache.

Has to be like an 80s businessman 'tache, though.

When I was a child, I used to watch the Thin Blue Line. I was too young to understand it but it had Mr Bean and I liked the moustache man.

That's a real generation gap thing. For my generation, Mr Bean was a betrayal of Blackadder, and we never forgave Atkinson.

My early years were spent watching the Three Stooges, Tom and Jerry, Looney Tunes etc, so Mr Bean was right up my alley. As was Baldy Man.

I had to Google Baldy Man. Never knew he had a TV show. I only remember the Hamlet ad.

I don't remember much of it, just that I used to find it hilarious.

I miss the Hamlet ads. When I was a little, my dad smoked cigars. I loved the smell. Eventually he graduated onto pipes. Then one day, in my late teens, the doctor told him: they're killing you. So he quit. Cold Turkey.

That's admirable.

I think I'm too young to remember smoking ads.

I feel like I've seen them but not sure how much of that is due to seeing them on shows later.

I remember the billboard ads for Lambert and Butler.

TV was pretty much all smoking ads and booze ads when I was a kid. And scary ads warning us all not to die or get murdered.

And only one channel could show ads.

Indeed.

Have you seen The Offspring's Covid inspired song? It defies belief.

I last listened to Americana.

I know the singer got his PhD in infectious disease over the past few years though.

That probably explains the covid germs flying around in the video.

Why would anyone want a PhD in infectious diseases?

Dunno. A mate of mine has.

He studies super gonnarhea.

Genuinely what it's called.

But spelt correctly.

Still. Could be worse.

Could have my job.

Or he could have super gonnarhea.

It's a toss up.