Sam has started wearing deodorant.
I'm not sure he needs it yet, he's still a few years off being a sweaty teenager, but apparently it's the thing. So his mum bought him some Lynx. Because the makers have moved away from the ridiculous notion that if you spray yourself with Lynx, thousands of teenage girls will come chasing after you (presumably with some bleach and a scrubbing brush) and now they're promoting themselves via the notion of sporting prowess - wearing Lynx will make you into a G.O.A.T.
I wish I was blissfully unaware of what that stands for, but sadly I'm not.
It probably goes without saying that I have a problem with Lynx. Due to "odour-linked memories", I don't get The Lynx Effect... I get The Proust Effect.
This name came about because the author Marcel Proust wrote in his book, Swann’s Way, that the smell of a pastry he dipped in his tea brought on a rush of joy associated with his childhood.
In short, nice smells evoke nice memories.
However, due to our storytelling brain, the opposite is also true. I don't know if Marcel Proust ever smelt Lynx deodorant, but if he did, I hope it whisked him back to school changing rooms on a wet Wednesday afternoon, when all the footy lads were raring to go, and young Proust was feeling queasy, intimidated and ready for his weekly hour of humiliation. Because that's what happens to me. One whiff of Lynx and I end up right back here...
It's enough to make a grown man cry. And for a 51 year old man who's never quite managed the growing up thing... it's even worse.
"I don't know if Marcel Proust ever smelt Lynx deodorant, but if he did, I hope it whisked him back to school changing rooms on a wet Wednesday afternoon".
ReplyDeleteCount yourself lucky. When I was a lad it was Brut, Hai Karate or nothing. Usually nothing.
At least Brut had Henry Cooper. And Barry Sheene!
DeleteOld Spice and double denim surely, Ernie?!
ReplyDeleteOr was that just me? We were doing well if my Nan (excuse the pun) splashed out on Brut 33 for Christmas.
DeleteEven your photo of the changing room gave me a queasy feeling. There was no fragrant waft of floral deodorant at my (all girls) school after Games, I'm afraid - just cheesy plimsolls.
ReplyDelete