Kenny Wednesday #10 - "I hope you're old enough to understand"

And so we reach the end of My Top Ten Kennies. The final post was set in stone from the start. Indeed, it was Kenny Rogers who inspired this feature in the first place, and with a little suggestion from Brian, we were off. The only question remaining was which Kenny Rogers song was mighty enough to bring Kenny Wednesdays to a close?

Perhaps the most obvious choice would be Ruby, the tragic story of a disabled Korean war veteran whose wife is stepping out on him, something he'd put a stop to... if only he could reach his gun. Based on a true story (although the soldier was a WWII vet who did end up killing his wife), Mel Tillis's song was originally recorded by Johnny Darrell, but it was Kenny who made it famous. HOWEVER, I already gave that one a pretty good showing in My Top Ten Ruby Songs.

My all time favourite Kenny Rogers song is his debut hit from 1968, the anti-LSD, counterculture classic Just Dropped In (To Check What Condition My Condition Was In), as memorably featured in my favourite movie, The Big Lebowski. But I featured that just a couple of weeks back on My Top Ten April Fool's Day Songs.

The Gambler was in contention for a while... I even have a soft spot for the Bee Gees-written Islands In The Stream (with Dolly), although Rob Brydon did his best to steal that from me. In the end though, there was only one choice...


10. Kenny Rogers - Coward of the County

As a kid, I always felt I was, to paraphrase Michael Jackson in one of his many matey chats with Sir Thumbs Aloft, "a lover, not a fighter". There were times when I was bullied, or beaten up, or just picked on by the bigger, harder kids... and in those times, Coward of the County was a great inspiration to me. I know that may sound like the corniest thing I've ever written here, but I honestly believed "you don't have to fight to be a man". Of course, the whole message of CotC is that sometimes you do have to fight... and I always told myself that if anyone ever hurt someone I loved in the way the Gatlin Brothers hurt Becky, then I'd step up like Tommy did and wipe the floor with them.

In reality, of course, I'd probably just have had my head kicked in. Or worse. So it's probably a good job it never happened.





And so Kenny Wednesdays are no more. But don't despair. I've been promising that I knew exactly what would replace this series once we reached ten, and so now it can be revealed...

It's time to get Randy!

Come back next week for the first instalment of Randy Tuesdays. Let's drop the big one... and see what happens.

Kenny Wednesdays #9: The Runners Up

With only one more Kenny Wednesday to go after this one, it appears I have a surfeit of Kennies. Time for a Top Ten of the ones that didn't quite make the grade (maybe because they're a Ken or Kenneth, maybe because I wasn't particularly enamoured with them in the first place), along with a nod to those who suggested them...

First though, thanks to JC for suggesting Kenn(ed)y by The Wedding Present, which is an all time favourite of mine, but... if I include that, I have to start thinking about The Dead Kennedy's, Kenickie, Kent and all manner of other things. Kendrick Lamar. Whoever he is.


10. Kenny - The Bump

I know I've been going on a lot lately about my immersion in all things 70s... but I think this is one you had to be there for. I was there in 1975: I was three. But still...

Charity Chic and Alyson wanted to hear it again though... and who am I to deny them?

9. The Julie Ruin - Party City

Here's one I found in my own charity shop pile, the debut album from The Julie Ruin: Kathleen Hanna, Kathi Wilcox and Kenny Mellman. 

This is probably my favourite track from the album because it features a little wordplay around record collections.

8. Kenny Hollywood - Magic Star

Joe Meek's instrumental hit Telstar was a huge hit in the 60s for The Tornados. But did you know there was an instrumental version recorded too? No? Well, you do now. (I bet Marie knew about this one.)

7. Frank Sinatra & Kenny G - All The Way / One More For The Road

I have two theories as to why Kenny G is loathed by the muserati.

i) As recently discussed over at Alyson's blog, musos can't stand anyone with a shaggy perm. In the case of Michael Bolton, they'd be absolutely right. In most other cases though... I beg to differ.

ii) The saxophone is an instrument that very much upsets guitar purists. I'm not sure why this is. Perhaps because it's seen as a grandstanding, show off instrument... or perhaps because it hints at jazz.

Anyway, I have absolutely nothing against Kenny G. That said, I only own one recording on which he parps that sax and wags that shaggy perm. It's from Old Blue Eyes's late stage Duets album, a CD I was very fond of when it came out. The tracks above are probably my two favourite Sinatra songs, and while the original versions are far superior, I think Kenny G puts on a pretty good show of "duetting" with the Legend... even though I very much doubt they were ever in the same studio.

This one goes out to Chris and The Swede who both wondered if I'd go there...

6. You Am I - Ken (The Mother Nature's Son)

You Am I are an Australian band I was first introduced to by my old Aussie blogging pal (now semi-retired, it seems), Deano. It was good to hear from him again with this suggestion.

5. Kenny Lynch - Up On The Roof 

I thought someone had suggested this particular Kenny, but I've lost track of the comment now: apologies if it was you. I remember Kenny Lynch as a stalwart of variety TV shows when I was growing up. He had a successful musical career before that, most notably with his version of Up On The Roof... which stopped the (far superior, sorry, Kenny) version by The Drifters being a hit in the UK.

Most bizarre of all though, he wrote the lyrics to John Carpenter's music for the title track (You Can't Fight) of Carpenter's movie Assault On Precinct 13, as recorded by Jimmie Chambers. 

4. Ken Boothe - Everything I Own

Classic, suggested by The Swede, disqualified for lacking the requisite NY. Lovely, lovely song though.

3. REM - What's The Frequency, Kenneth?

Another suggestion from Deano, also disqualified for obvious reasons, but still a top tune. 

2. Generation X - The Prime Of Kenny Silvers

A top story song, and a decidedly un-punk song from Billy Idol and Tony James's second album, Valley of the Dolls. A kind of glam/prog epic, it hearkens back to the kind of music punk was set up to replace... which probably explains why the album didn't do particularly well in 1979. A shame, because I love this track. It was a serious contender for the 9th Kenny, until a little birdie reminded me of this...

1. The Small Faces - Lazy Sunday Afternoon

Thanks to C for pointing out this week's Number One: and the official Number #9 in my Top Ten... otherwise, the spelling of this Kenney's name would have made him slip through the net. Not only was Kenney Jones the drummer in the small faces, but he also replaced the late Keith Moon in The Who.

Seriously, if your biography includes the words, "replaced the late Keith Moon in The Who", I think you can consider your life a success.





Only one Kenny left. No prizes for guessing who. But... which song?

Kenny Wednesday #8 - The Best POSSIBLE Taste

8. Kenny Everett - Snot Rap

I never got to hear Kenny Everett on the radio. He was sacked from Radio 1 before I was born and though he ended up on the station of my youth, Radio 2, in the early 80s, I never caught the Saturday lunchtime show on which he made an infamous joke about Margaret Thatcher... and amazingly kept his job (for a while). I wish I had heard him, because he would have been exactly what I wanted from a radio DJ back then.

I loved his TV show though, and watched it from an early age... even though I suspect I was too young for much of the material. I'm not sure how well it would hold up today, but when I was 12, I thought Sid Snot, Cupid Stunt, Reg Prescott and Gizzard Puke were hilarious. I loved the Snot Rap single too. And it still makes me smile today. Considering some of the wholly innocuous records the BBC cheerfully slapped a banned sticker on in the 80s, I'm amazed this got played...




And while we're on the subject of comedy Kennies, I'd be remiss if I didn't give a mention to Kenny McCormick, whose musical career has been rather hampered by his hood being zipped up too tight... and the fact that he keeps getting killed. Doesn't stop him though...




Only two Kennies to go. The last one has been set in stone from the start, but there's still time to sway my position on #9 if you act quickly. If I've forgotten your favourite Kenny... speak now or forever hold your peace.

Kenny G fans, this is your moment! Start your petitions now...

Kenny Wednesday #7: King Kenny

7. Kenny Anderson (a/k/a King Creosote)

I have to admit, when I started this Top Ten, I didn't immediately think of King Creosote. It took Charity Chic to give me a gentle reminder that his real name is Kenny Anderson. One of the reasons KC didn't immediately jump to mind is that he's been on my Get Round To Listening To Eventually pile for a while now. That pile's one step over from the Bottomless Wishlist Pile: it's for those artists I've actually got round to acquiring music by... just not got around to listening to yet. Am I the only one who does this? Acquire more music than it is humanly possible to consume? Is it a sickness? Why can't I set myself some ground rules: don't buy any new records until you've listened to all the ones you've not listened to yet? Would that be so hard?

The weird thing is, I actually own more songs by King Creosote than I do by Kenny Loggins, Kenny Wells and Gerard Kenny put together. Bloody hell - I better start listening to some of them.

Well, I've done just that. And they're pretty good. But as I've just discovered King Creosote has released over 40 records, it may take me a while to work my way through the rest. Thanks for that, CC.

I've chosen the following track because I have cats and first thing in the morning, when there's furballs on the kitchen table, urine on the floor and a very bad murder in the litter tray, I often want to jump on at them. Plus, it makes me smile. (The song, not the litter tray.)

Kenny Wednesday #6: Well Well Wells

6. Kenny Wells - Isn't It Just A Shame?

I know absolutely nothing about this week's Kenny other than that he crops up on one of the many Northern Soul compilations in my record collection with this sparkly soul gem. Beyond that, you're on your own. I couldn't even find a picture of him. Maybe he never existed. Maybe he's just a figment of my imagination. How do we know if any of this is real?

I did find the single's original b-side, I Can't Stop, on youtube though, and that's pretty cool too. So Kenny recorded two songs, at least. Unless we're all just dreaming in the Matrix...

Kenny Wednesday #5: The One & Only

Time for a bit of Chesney. No, not that one...

5. Kenny Chesney - American Kids

On my shelves of contemporary country artists, which are growing faster than they used to, Kenny Chesney doesn't take up as much space as the rebellious bad boy, Eric Church; the polished pop pretty boy, Blake Shelton; or The True King of Contemporary Country: Brad Paisley. In fact, I only have a couple of Kenny Chesney records and I don't like either of them enough to go out and buy his whole back catalogue (as I did with the three named above). Sometimes he can be a bit too country even for me, other times the big ballads veer too close to a redneck Michael Bolton. But I wouldn't turn him off if he came on the radio... not that he ever does in the UK.

American Kids is one of his best, and not just because it references both Springsteen and Mellencamp. It's good driving music because it makes you want to roll the windows down and bask in the deep south sunshine... even when you're in rainy Huddersfield.

Kenny Wednesday #4: All The Scandal & The Vice

4. Gerard Kenny - New York, New York

Despite the dodgy sweater and the fact that it's his surname, this week's Kenny is so good, I'll name him twice.

4. Gerard Kenny - New York, New York

I didn't know a lot about Gerard Kenny beyond his big 70's "hit" (well, it got to #43); however, he has been on my bucket list for a while. Yes, other middle-aged men have bucket lists that include skydiving into the Grand Canyon and getting stuck in an elevator with Gillian Anderson. My bucket list includes catching up on music by Gerard Kenny, Bert Jansch and The Staple Singers.

As previously established, I love a well-hammered keyboard... and Gerard even throws a broken window and a choral climax into this loving homage to his hometown (written after he'd moved to England). What's not to love?




On further investigation, I was delighted to learn Gerard wasn't a complete one "hit" wonder. He also wrote Barry Manilow's I Made It Through The Rain (as featured recently in My Top Ten Inspirational Songs, Volume 1) and... wait for it, wait for it...

He also wrote this:



Which kind of makes a mockery (if such a thing were possible) of that old Little Britain sketch where David 'Dennis Waterman' Walliams promises to "write the theme tune, sing the theme tune"... what a disappointment.

(Oh, and before you go, do yourself a favour and watch the video to I Could Be So Good For You. It is the best / worst thing you will see all week. It's good to have a nice, healthy cringe on a Wednesday.)

Kenny Wednesday #3 - Love, Shack

Nowhere in the rules does it state Kenny Wednesdays always have to involve a person called Kenny. Today, it's an area of Liverpool (L6) where the Quarrymen made their first recording.

Famous sons of "Kenny" include Ian McNabb; David Morrissey; Joe, Mark and Paul McGann; and the Head brothers, John and Michael, otherwise known as The Pale Fountains... and Shack. Which brings us to this little love letter to the Heads' hometown, from Shack's 1999 masterpiece, HMS Fable...

3. Shack - The Streets of Kenny

Kenny Wednesday #2 - The Gambler

No, we're not back to Kenny Rogers. Not yet. (Although The Gambler is a great song.)

Instead, for the second Kenny Wednesday, I bring you... Kenny G!

(No, not that one. Yet.)

2. Kenny Gamble

This Kenny was one half of the legendary songwriting partnership Gamble & Huff. Kenny & Leon (Huff) also formed Motown rival Philadelphia International Records and pioneered the Philly sound. They're the men responsible for many, many classic soul standards, including If You Don't Know Me By Now, Backstabbers, Me & Mrs. Jones, Show You The Way To Go and When Will I See You Again?

But there are two Gamble & Huff compositions which stand out above all others to me, and I really couldn't choose between them... so I'm going to play you both...

The first one reminds me of being a teenager, when I was neck-deep in my first full-on Motown phase. It also reminds me of a teenage crush, unrequited love... you know the sort of thing. But this was the song which could turn that around. The rules were all right there in the lyrics, I just had to follow them one step at a time...

I'm gonna do all the things for you
A girl wants a man to do, oh baby
I'll sacrifice for you
I'll even do wrong for you, oh baby
Every minute, every hour
I'm gonna shower
You with love and affection
Look out it's comin' in your direction...

The restraining order still stands, thirty years later.

And then there's this, which I discovered quite a bit later. A charidee record, released in 1977 when the New York City dustbin men went on strike... it led on to a lot more socially-conscious work for Gamble & Huff, putting their money back into regenerating parts of Philadelphia to really clean up the ghettos Gamble grew up around...





That really is an All-Star line up: Teddy Pendergrass, Archie Bell, Billy Paul, The O'Jays, Dee Dee Sharp... and the peerless Lou Rawls doing that incredible spoken intro.

Kenny Wednesdays #1 - Fast & Loose

Last week's post on Kenny Rogers & The First Edition was received far better than expected, to the point that Brian at Linear Tracking Lives! suggested I "Keep the Kenny comin'".

I'm sure this isn't what he had in mind, but over the next 10 weeks, I'll be posting a different Kenny every Wednesday. I was surprised how many Kennies I found... I've already got more than ten, and I'm sure you guys will have a few suggestions. And the great thing is, I can promise you now, very few (in fact, potentially only a couple of them) will be Muso-Friendly.

We'll get back to Kenny Rogers sooner or later, but let's start with another huge name of the 80s... although not as huge in the UK as in the US.

KENNY WEDNESDAYS #1: Kenny Loggins

Kenny Loggins started out as a songwriter in the late 60s. His first compositions were recorded by The Nitty Gritty Dirt Bans, though he was never a member of that group himself. He went on to team up with Jim Messina (formerly of Eagles influencers Poco and a post-Neil Young member of Buffalo Springfield) to record a number of successful US soft rock albums in the mid-70s. Loggins & Messina never really troubled the UK airwaves though, and neither did any of Kenny's later solo albums (although they all went Platinum in the US).

And then came Footloose...

I loved Footloose when I was a kid. It's pure 80s hokum - fleet-footed Kevin Bacon falls for the daughter of Fire 'n' Brimstone preacher John Lithgow who believes rock 'n' roll is the devil's music. (It is, let's face it. That's why it's so cool.)

Now, I've never been a dancer. And you won't find a lot of dance records making their way onto this blog because, as Moz once sang, they say nothing to me about my life. But few records are likely to get me tapping my toes like Footloose. It makes me feel like a teenager again. (Although not like the teenager I actually was.)

Loggins went on to record the theme to Top Gun too, but I never really got Top Gun. I watched it, sure: it was required viewing if you were a teenager in the mid-80s, but I just couldn't see what all the fuss was about. They were all a bunch of dicks. Footloose though... wow.