Snapshots #385: Twelve Newspaper Songs

I read the news today... oh boy!

Hear all about it below...

12. No longer a choking hazard.

He used to be a Strangler, but he's alright now.

Hugh Cornwell - Stuck In Daily Mail Land

11. What did you do in art class yesterday? I sketched a small mountain...

You drew a hill?

Dru Hill - These Are The Times

10. All you do to me is...

Lyrics from their eponymous single: "All you do to me is... talk talk."

Talk Talk - Today

Remember Today? Eddie Shah? The newspaper revolution? 

9. Go on. You know you want to. Give it a go. You'll love it.

The Persuasions - The Sun

8. AR-15, M-16, AK-47.

The Rifles - She's Got Standards

7. Direct train to Sheffield.

S'Express - Theme from S'Express

6. Tidier Tsars re-establish order.

"Tidier Tsars" was an anagram.

Dire Straits - Telegraph Road

5. Michael Stipe's lot judged "not bad" by muddy deposits at the mouth of a river.

Muddy deposits at the mouth of a river create a Delta. Good REM?

Delta Goodrem - The Guardian

4. Choosing shades in the detective agency.

Pinkertons were the detective agency in the Wild West.

Pinkerton's Assorted Colours - Mirror Mirror

3. The Munch Bunch. 

Edvard Munch painted The Scream.

Primal Scream - Star

2. O'Connor was a small baby.

Des? Tiny Child!

Destiny's Child - Independent Women

1. Stuck, and sticky.

The Jam - News Of The World

Written and sung by Bruce Foxton. RIP, Rick. 

That's all the news that's fit to print today. But another edition will hit the streets next Saturday - don't miss it!

Snapshots #197 - A Top Ten Eponymous Songs

Will Florence be celebrating tonight? 

I mean... did she get 10/10 and spot the link on this week's Snapshots? Let's find out...

Here are 10 eponymous songs, where the title of the song includes the name of the performer.

10. Turner, Becker, Trout.

Frank Turner, Walter Becker & Walter Trout.

The Frank & Walters - We Are The Frank & Walters

9. Morph did this.

Living In A Box - Living In A Box

8. Gloomy tomorrow.

Black Sabbath - Black Sabbath

7. Chemistry tools.

The Pipettes - We Are The Pipettes

6. Livingstone takes his vacations on a battlefield.

Dandy Livingstone goes on War-hols.

The Dandy Warhols - The Dandy Warhols TV Theme Song

Or you could have had...

The Dandy Warhols - The Dandy Warhols Love Almost Everyone

5. Captain's Happy plus Elvis & Dave's Girls.

Captain Sensible sang Happy Talk, Dave sang Girls' Talk, which was written by Elvis.

Talk Talk - Talk Talk

4. Nelson's company?

If Willie Nelson had a company, he would call it Will-co.

Wilco - Wilco (The Song)

3. Thanked, long ago.

Anagram!

Kool & The Gang - Kool & The Gang

2. Makes his own coffee.

Grinderman - Grinderman

1. Canada.

Canada is a BIG country.

(What the hell is going on in this video? It's like The Famous Five Go On An Outward Bounds Course.)

The football might be over tonight, but Saturday Snapshots will continue next week...

Saturday Snapshots #145 - The Answers

Here's a Bombshell - the answers to yesterday's Snapshots. Hopefully it wasn't too much a Longshot for you...



10. Protect with pads. Tra la la.

Footballers protect their shins with pads.

The Shins - Simple Song

9.  Stop mucking about - this is relevant!

Relevant = germane.

Jermaine Jackson - Let's Get Serious

8. Fast forest apple elephant.

Fast = fleet. Forest = wood. Elephant = tusk.

Too easy.

Fleetwood Mac - Tusk

Doesn't really sound like anything else Fleetwood Mac ever did... or anyone else, for that matter. I love that there was a time when tracks like this were hits. And why the hell is it called Tusk?

No, don't tell me, it'll only spoil it.

7. Norse computer brand offers contradictory directions.

The computer I use to compile this feature every week is a Dell. Vikings were Norse men.

The Del Vikings - Come Go With Me

Come? Go? Make up your mind.

6. Tongue twisting rain chatter.

Red Lorry Yellow Lorry - Talk About The Weather

5. Out of focus, but can be plugged in anywhere.

A universal adapter can be plugged in anywhere.

Blur - The Universal

Second greatest Blur song ever.

4. Drumming medic alienates frog.

I honestly forgot who this was between compiling the competition and coming to do the answer's post. It took me ages to pick apart than anagram. I don't know how you guys do it so quickly each week.

Gloria Estefan - Dr. Beat

Considering the serious artist Gloria became, it's worth watching this video to see how wacky she was in her earlier days.

3. Phone company gets philosophical.

Talk Talk - Life's What You Make It

2. Where Warren considered afterlife activities, Bob just wanted the exit... by air, presumably.

Warren Zevon was looking for Things To Do In Denver When You're Dead.

Bob Seger just wanted to Get Out Of Denver.

We all know the tragic irony of Leaving On A Jet Plane.

John Denver - Leaving On A Jet Plane

I never get tired of hearing that.

1. Forced romance by highest ranking attractions.

"I'm gonna make you love me!"

"Restraining order, please."

Highest ranking is supreme, attractions are temptations.

This is audio perfection... although it's interesting that Eddie Kendricks has a higher voice than Diana Ross.



The Monster returns next Saturday. Until then, keep driving Fury Road...

My Top Ten 'Shut Up!' Songs

10. Chas & Dave - Rabbit

Because I promised / threatened Dick Van Dyke.

One thing I never got about this song... when was the last time you saw rabbit in Sainsbury's?

9. The Coasters - Yakety Yak

Clive Anderson, all is forgiven.

8. Transvision Vamp - Tell That Girl To Shut Up

Look, I know you were expecting Shut Up by Madness, but I just didn't have room for it. Call it #11. If you're wondering how this made the chart when that didn't, the simple answer is... I never fancied Suggs when I was 16.

7. Elvis Presley - A Little Less Conversation

No need for the JXL version here when the original has a video (from the movie Live A Little, Love A Little) as groovy as this.

6. Talk Talk - Talk Talk

One day I might compile a list of songs named after the bands that sing them. Will this be Number One... or Living In A Box?

All you do to me is talk talk

5. Squeeze - Trust Me To Open My Mouth

I need a gobstopper to keep my trap shut
Should have kept my nose clean
Why's it me that gets the bad luck?

4. Deep Purple - Hush

Written by Joe 'Games People Play' South and originally recorded by Billy Joe Royal (no, me neither). You may be more familiar with the Kula Shaker version. I won't hold that against you.

3. The Smiths - Bigmouth Strikes Again

The next time Morrissey says something designed to get the collective knickers in a twist, everyone should consider one of his most honest lyrical declarations...

Sweetness, sweetness I was only joking
When I said I'd like to smash every tooth
In your head

Oh ... sweetness, sweetness, I was only joking
When I said by rights you should be
Bludgeoned in your bed

Bigmouth strikes again
And I've got no right to take my place
With the Human race

2. Elvis Costello - Mouth Almighty

One of my favourite Costello songs from his best album, Punch The Clock.

This town belongs to you and your tricks of confidence
All the pavements for miles around are littered with your footprints
Now every girl I get close to seems to be wearing your perfume
And the clock strikes the letters of your name
Both midnight and noon

I wish I'd never opened my mouth almighty...

1. Julian Cope - World, Shut Your Mouth

It may be flying in the face of fashion... but, beat this!



These are the songs I sing when I want someone to pipe down. Which one are you singing back at me right now?