My Top Ten Goodbye Songs (WYCRA Tribute)

There was an excellent response to my requests for songs called Goodbye as a tribute to the late WYCRA blog. To remind you, the rules were simple... all you had to do was come up with songs called Goodbye.

Oh, by the way, I've abritrarily changed the scoring system...

1 point for every one of my songs you identify.


2 points for being the first to identify a song.

3 points if you can guess a song's position in my Top Ten.

1 bonus point if you suggest a song that's better than one in my Top Ten.

Clear? (As mud.)

Let's start with the elephant in the room, shall we? Goodbye-ee by Peter Cook & Dudley Moore. Being a little bit younger than many of you (sorry), I wasn't familiar with this at all. In fact, when it was suggested - by The Swede, Martin and C - I actually thought the Goodbye-ee in question must be this one. Anyway, I apologise for not having been born when Pete & Dud were on TV. You can all have a point for your advancing years.

Quite a few of you also thought Mary Hopkin might make the grade. I didn't have that in my collection but vaguely remembered it when I gave it a listen. A jaunty enough 60's tune... with the aloft thumbprint of Macca all over it. Can't say I preferred it to any of my Ten though. A bit too jaunty. I will give The Swede a point for suggesting Macca's demo version because - somewhat surprisingly - I found that quite nice.

Next... The Spice Girls? How many of you suggested the bleeding Spice Girls? Really? What is this, Smash Hits? I'm sorry, I know my record collection has some very bizarre corners, but there is no Spice Girls. Even I draw the line somewhere. 

The Swede also wondered if Shed Seven would be there. They came close, but it wasn't one of their most memorable efforts in my humble opinion. (Still better than anything Oasis ever did.) I'll give The Swede an extra point for The Universe though, which I was rather taken with. Couldn't find a properly recorded version of Jon Rae & The River, so I'm on the fence about that. As for Kevin Shields' instrumental Goodbye from Lost In Translation... nice and atmospheric, but instrumentals have to work very hard to get on one of my charts.

C trawled the interweb to come up with Miley Cyrus (now if it was Billy Ray, you might have been in with a chance, C: Billy Ray was a guest voice on Blaze & The Monster Machines the other day... so good to see him still getting work), Avril Lavigne (who's obviously working for Anne Summers now if the video is anything to go by), Alicia Keys and MØ. Obviously you think I'm a 16 year old girl, C, rather than a 45 year old boy. Still, you can have a point for each of those purely because they were all better than The Spice Girls. Alyson can have a point for Avril Lavigne too because I don't want anyone to go away pointless.

Other decent-ish suggestions came thick and fast... but no points for The Pretenders (from the soundtrack of G.I. Jane!) or Northern Uproar (a Northern Uproar b-side: you don't hear those every day). Sadly, I couldn't find Walter's Tracy Chapman offering anywhere on youtube, but I'm sure it's lovely. You can have a point for suggesting something I couldn't find, Walter.

Thanks all for taking part... though you only managed to guess half my Top Ten in the end...


10. The Psychedelic Furs - Goodbye

Nobody suggested this. You must all just be Pretty In Pinkers. Even if you're only familiar with that track and nothing else by the Furs though, this is unmistakably them.

9. Drive-By Truckers - Goodbye

Another one nobody guessed. Maybe I should have awarded myself a point for every one you didn't get.

8. Frank Sinatra - Goodbye (She Quietly Says)

I'm going to give Martin a point for Frank Sinatra, even though he went for this Goodbye, a completely different song, and one that's definitely better recorded. I prefer the lyrics of this one though, with Frank enjoying a coffee and a slice of cheesecake while gets the elbow.

7. Mansun - Goodbye

No fans of Mansun's third and final album out there? Shame.

6. Elton John - Goodbye

Well done to Martin again, who wins 2 points for Elton (I'm sure he'll be so proud). Madman Across The Water is my favourite album by Reg.

A late entry from George gets him a point for this too. 

I will also give Martin a point for having the gall to suggest Def Leppard. I wasn't familiar with that one. It's hardly in the same league as Let's Get Rocked.

And I'll give him two points for Air Supply, because he'll never live that down. 

5. Steve Earle - Goodbye

Well done to Charity Chic for guessing this one. 2 points. An extra point for suggesting Mary Gauthier - I didn't know that one from Mary, but it's rather lovely.

4. The Coral - Goodbye

One of their less-ramshackle offerings; sounds nice.

The Swede gets 2 points for being first to suggest this. Martin can have a point for it too.

3. The Czars - Goodbye 

Before John Grant was John Grant, he was The Czars. Not quite as good as anything he's done as John Grant... but still pretty great.

Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
I love to see you fade and die
I love to see you kicking, screaming
As you try to reach the sky and die

2. The Sundays - Goodbye

2 points to Chris for being the first to suggest this. Three points each to The Swede and Martin who both predicted it would be Number 2. Bloody good going, even though you were wrong about my Number One.

(Harriet Wheeler. Sigh.) 

1. Billy Bragg - Goodbye Goodbye

You may recall that the WYCRA guys would, on occasion, allow the inclusion of a song which repeated their requested word. In their honour - and because it's Billy Bragg - I had to follow their guidance.

Following the same rules, I may have found room for The Swede's suggestion of Gudbuy Gudbuy, but Noddy Holder's spelling always keeps him behind after my class.

Brian can have a point for suggesting Oingo Boingo's Goodbye Goodbye though... because it's Oingo Boingo. Brian had some other great suggestions too, but soon realised he wasn't following the rules so said Goodbye.




Points? Maths never was my strong point, but I think...

Brian - 1 point

Walter - 1 point

Alyson - 1 point
George - 1 point

Chris - 2 points

Charity Chic - 3 points

C - 5 points

The Swede - 8 points

Martin - 11 points

Congratulations to Martin then, who wins my undying admiration. I really enjoyed doing this, and thank you all for taking part. It did bring home to me just how much time such a feature takes to put together though: more credit then to WYCRA and Jez who have both done such things on a regular basis. If I ever did anything like it again... and I am rather tempted, because everyone seems to enjoy playing along at home... I'd have to make it a monthly feature. Weekly would kill me.

My Top Ten Come Home Songs

When I started doing these Top Tens on the old blog... probably about seven or eight years ago now... they were mostly full of indie bands. That's rarely the case these days, but every now and then a topic seems to bring them out of the woods. 

Here's ten songs asking / telling you to 'Come Home!' Next week, a reply post - ten 'I'm Coming Home!' songs. (So save those for then.)

Special mention to Darlene Love's Christmas (Baby Please Come Home) which would have made the Top Three if I allowed Christmas songs in March...



10. The Coral - Come Home

I generally like the idea of The Coral better than the reality. Space did the wacky Scousers routine a bit better in my humble opinion.

9. Ryan Adams & The Cardinals - When Will You Come Back Home?

Wonder if people still annoy him by putting a B on the front of his name? Surely he's been in the go long enough now to leave that behind.

8. The Rakes - Leave The City And Come Home

A night out in London makes the Rakes want to go home. Amusing lyrics on this one. 

In the bar your mates spot a celebrity
But you're not fussed by the gay guy off CBBC
Limos ferry hen-nights to the West End
The night is dragging it's heels to the end
Now he's in your face
"Got any drugs on you mate?"
You get out for some peace
Still get home by half 3 (leave the city and come home)

7. The Broken Family Band - Come On Home

 A much missed band; this one comes from their album Balls. 'Nuff said.

6. Placebo - Come Home

The opening track on Placebo's debut, back in the grand old days of 1996. Brian Molko described this one as "pop punk for postponed suicides". But he always was a bit of a one.

5. Franz Ferdinand - Come On Home

Also from a debut album: arguably still their best. (None of the others namedrop Terry Wogan.)

4. The Charlatans - Come Home, Baby

Very cool song from the highly acclaimed new LP from The Charlatans (which I have out on loan from the local library at the moment - and yes, it's pretty cool)... though I don't think Tim Burgess has looked like he does in this video for a LONG time now. 

3. The Divine Comedy - Come Home Billy Bird

A typically quirky story single about an international business traveller (with a pigeon head in the video) who wakes up after a wild night of debauchery and has to make it home in time for his son's big football game. Only Neil Hannon could have written this one.

2. Fine Young Cannibals - Johnny Come Home

Though they only ever released two albums, Roland Gift's Fine Young Cannibals are fondly remembered round these parts. Mixing jangly guitars and a nice bit of brass with Gift's soul singer tonsils, they made some of the most distinctive pop songs of the 80s. This was their debut single from 1985, the year Marty McFly first travelled back in time.   

1. James - Come Home

After 8 years knocking around the indie charts, James finally started to bother the real Top 40 in 1990. It was a dark time for decent music and James offered everything we needed in a pop band - big hooks, heartfelt choruses and a bonkers frontman. Come Home equalled its predecessor, How Was It For You, making Number 32 with a bullet... but it was a start, and not soon after Sit Down broke them into the Top Ten. Come Home is probably a better song though, with its wailing sirens, impassioned pleading and Tim Booth waving a big stick around in the desert-set video. And it still sounds fresh 25 years later...




Which one makes you want to come home?

My Top Ten Key Songs

See, I do take requests. (If you'd like to suggest a Top Ten subject, you know where the comments box is.) This one goes out to my old blogging pal Nota Bene who's been having a bit of trouble with his keys lately. Originally, I thought I might split it into two lists: songs about door keys and songs about musical keys... then I decided I'd be scraping the barrel a bit to fill 20 spaces. So they're all mixed in together here.

And if you're wondering where Melanie is... I'm saving her for another Top Ten. (Ditto, The Wurzels, but you might have to wait a bit longer for that one.)

Special mention to The Black Keys, The Mar-Keys and Stevie Wonder's Songs In The Key of Life.


10. Buffalo Tom - Skeleton Key

25 years old now. Doesn't sound it. 

You are so crazy
Should be under lock and key
You've got to be the worst thing
That's every happened to me
But I don't get angry
Got my skeleton key
I can open every door that
Stands in front of me

See also Skeleton Key by The Coral... which is ever-so-slightly SCARY.

9. The Charlatans - Love Is The Key

I tried to resist any metaphorical key songs - all the other songs on this list are about musical keys or keys that open locks. But this is really funky, and it's much better than the Urban Cookie Collective. 

8. Jim Noir - Key of C

Sounds like the theme tune to Magic Roundabout turned into a psychedelic indie-pop song. Video looks like it was made by a bunch of 6th form Media Studies students. Therefore: brilliant.

7. Jenny Owen Youngs - Keys Out Lights On

Sultry and smokey, with a lovely bit of trumpet... delicious.

6. Okkervil River - No Key, No Plan

No idea what this one's about, but as with a lot of Okkervil River records, it bounces along like a Barnes Wallis.

I'm a rich young sophisticate, I've got girls and friends.
I'm doing what I really like and getting paid for it.
There is no key, there's no plan; well, I discovered that.
And, truly, I don't think you'll find a happier man.

5. Billie Holliday - I'm Gonna Lock My Heart & Throw Away The Key

What can you say about a song like this? It probably should be number one. But when I'm comparing apples with Fabergé eggs, putting songs in Top Ten order becomes impossible.

I'm gonna park my romance right alone the curb
Hang a sign upon my heart
"Please don't disturb"'
And if I never fall in love again
That's soon enough for me

4. Luke Haines - Rock Opera In The Key Of Existential Misery

'Nuff said?

No?

It's from an album called Nine and a Half Psychedelic Meditations on British Wrestling of the 1970s and early '80s...

Still not convinced?

I've had more women than you've hat hot dinner, sunshine...
First we take Berlin... and then we take Stoke.

See now? I call the over-used g-word. You know, the one that ends in 'enius'.

3. Huey Lewis & The News - Give Me the Keys (And I'll Drive You Crazy)

I'll happily argue my case that in Fore!, Huey Lewis produced one of the Top Five pop albums of the 80s. But how do you follow an album as perfect - and packed with classic radio hits - as that? Well, the truth is, he couldn't. I have a great fondness for Fore!'s follow-up, Small World, but nobody could claim it to be a great record. And this, the album's big single, isn't fit to be mentioned in the same breath as The Power of Love, Stuck With You or Hip To Be Square. It kind of marks the point where the 80s started to go bad, musically. But I still love it in its own quirky way... and the video is hilariously awful. Huey always did some great comedy expressions.

2. Billy Bragg & Wilco - Way Over Yonder In The Minor Key

Another never-before-recorded Woody Guthrie composition, brought to life by Billy & Tweedy from the Mermaid Avenue sessions.

Ain't nobody that can sing like me...

Too true, Billy.

1. Kathleen Edwards - The Cheapest Key

A great F-u song, possibly aimed at a former songwriting / romantic partner (though t'internet lets me down on revealing just who deserves Kathleen's ire). Definitely one of her best, anyway... and the video's an absolute belter, proving that in a sane world Ms. Edwards would be a star of Pink-like proportions.

I was wondering when a new record might be arriving from one of my favourite Canadians, but iffypedia informs me she's taking time off music to open a coffee shop. Which is great news for the caffeine-fiend residents of Stittsville, Ottawa... but a cold cup of dregs for the rest of us.

See also Copied Keys, another fine record from the divine Ms. E. She wins this one hands down.




Which one has the key to your heart? And which one gets stuck in your lock?

My Top Ten Operator Songs

Many, many years ago, when they had such things, my mum used to be a switchboard operator. The stories she could tell about the things she heard! Do we even still have operators? I can't imagine too many people dedicating a song to a pre-recorded "virtual switchboard". Press one for "the romance is dead".

Special mention to Operator Please, the band who recorded the amazing Just A Song About Ping Pong and The Operator by The Coral, which is actually about getting kidnapped and operated on by a bunch of psycho surgeons. Or something.


10. Gladys Knight & The Pips - Operator

As if calling her boyfriend to apologise for all the bad things she's done wasn't enough of a chore... poor Gladys has to go through the operator too!

9. Pete Shelley - Telephone Operator

Ever fallen in love with a video you shouldn't have?

Wikipedia informs me that if you play the arcade game Dance Dance Revolution, you get to dance to this song... in an arcade. Glad I don't believe anything I read on wikipedia.

8. Talking Heads - Dream Operator

Probably has nothing to do with making a telephone call... though you can never be sure with David Byrne. Still: quite lovely.

7. Nick Lowe - Switchboard Susan

How many telephone puns / innuendos can one songwriter squeeze into one song?

When I'm near you girl, I get an extension
And I don't mean Alexander Graham Bell's invention

6. Jim Croce - Operator (That's Not The Way It Feels)

Or, if Jim's moustache is too much for you, can I recommend the rather fine Jesse Malin cover version?

5. Chuck Berry - Memphis, Tennessee

I make no apologies for the fact that this was already featured in my Top Ten Memphis Songs. It's a stone cold classic.

4.  The Rah Band - Clouds Across The Moon

In space, the intergalactic operator can't hear you scream.

If the future really looks like the Rah Band imagined it would in this video, I'll want my money back.

Never mind. I'll try again... next year... next year... next year...

3. The White Stripes - Hello, Operator

Actually, I wouldn't be surprised if Jack White's phone still had an operator. He probably refuses to use any of them new-fangled ones.

2. Dr. Hook - Sylvia's Mother

Dennis keeps trying to get through to Sylvia. Her mother just wants him to leave her alone. The operator keeps demanding "forty cents more" to continue the conversation "for the next three minutes".

1. Tom Waits - Martha

I almost gave this one to Dr. Hook, which would have been suitably anti-cool of me. But then I remembered
this...

Operator, number please
It´s been so many years
And she´ll remember my old voice
While I fight the tears
Hello, hello there, is this Martha ?
This is old Tom Frost
And I am calling long distance
Don´t worry ´bout the cost...

Tom Waits sounds like a weary old man on this recording. The scary / crazy thing is, he was 24 years old when it was released...



Those are the songs that get me calling the operator - but which one would be your hold music of choice?