This isn't an AI mock-up. This is an actual product that one of my colleagues bought and brought into work yesterday. What is wrong with people?
I can't swear to it, but the person responsible may well be the same person who brought in the lobster flavoured popcorn a few weeks back... which turned out to be the worst thing I have EVER tasted in my life. And I grew up on a farm. In Yorkshire. In the 1970s. The ghost of its pestilence still stains my tongue. As a result, there was no way I was going anywhere near this stuff. Even taking the photo was too close.
I like mayo.
I like gravy.
But if ever the two things are on the same plate, I go out of my way to make sure they never touch. The thought of mixing them together makes me physically ill.
It also reminded me of this...
Here are some songs about mayonnaise (ignoring all the tracks in my library that come from Simon May sessions)...
The very best song about gravy though is this one. It is a Christmas song, sort of. But it's one of the few that I can listen to at any point in the year.
Once again, the finger pointed firmly in the direction of our brains, and I immediately figured our old friend the amygdala might be responsible. However, it turns out there’s another suspect in the frame: the hypothalamus!
The hypothalamus is a tiny little blob of gunk deep within our brain which takes charge of our heart rate, body temperature, hunger, and the sleep-wake cycle. It does a bunch of other jobs too, notably mucking about with our social behaviour – including sex-drive and aggression. How does it do this? By releasing hormones! And which hormone is responsible for our obsession with what other people think of us? Dopamine.
Last week, we closed with a quote about “externalising our self-worth”: in other words, seeing ourselves as others see us. Take Tiberius – when someone smiles at him, even a stranger, he feels a little better about his day. If a colleague or peer compliments him on his work or tells him he’s doing a good job, it makes him happy. And if someone reads his blog or leaves a nice comment… well, it’s cartwheels time! Because every time one of those things happens, the hypothalamus in Tiberius’s brain releases dopamine… the “feel good hormone”… the “happy hormone”… the “pleasure hormone”. You’ll find many similar sobriquets applied to dopamine online. Because dopamine is also the hormone that’s released when we eat, have sex, and take drugs… anything that feels good. (Even if it's bad for us.)
Anything that gives you pleasure will trigger the release of dopamine. This can range from a fun activity you enjoy, like dancing or cooking, to sex, shopping, and even certain drugs. Dopamine activates the reward pathway in the brain, leading you to desire these activities more. For this reason, dopamine can play a role in addiction.
For example… if being smiled at by a stranger gives Tiberius a mini dopamine hit, why doesn’t he go out of his way to be nicer to strangers? Or... does he pick and choose which strangers he would rather be nice to, because, frankly, their smiles are worth more to him? Other factors outweigh the dopamine hit in certain circumstances. A smile from a little old lady in the supermarket who’s asked Tiberius to reach for a tin on the top shelf… that’s worth it. But he’s still not going to wave at that Audi driver and let him pull out, even if the Audi driver might smile back… is that because Tiberius believes the Audi driver won’t smile back, or does he get more of a dopamine hit by denying the Audi driver, by causing him a little inconvenience? There are, I presume, certain circumstances where being mean will grant you more of a hit than being nice? It all depends on who you’re interacting with in any particular moment.
Speaking for myself, rather than Tiberius, I can report a recent incident when I was on the motorway, driving at the speed limit in the fast lane, with an Audi driver behind me, far too close, desperate to get past. When it was eventually safe to pull back into the middle lane, I did so. My hands remained at ten to two on the steering wheel, but I carefully extended the middle finger of my right hand as the Audi accelerated past. Up ahead now, the Audi swerved erratically as he opened his own car window and raised his own hand / fist / finger up into the air in a furious gesture of aggression. And then he was gone. But the fact that he’d clearly noticed my subtle bird flipping, and that it had aggravated him so very much... this gave me a much greater dopamine rush than any stranger’s smile could have done. Call me petty, but I was buzzing on that for the rest of the day.
The world needs people like you and me Who've been knocked around by fate 'Cause when people see us They don't wanna be us And that makes them feel great
Going back to Tiberius, I’m sure that positive feedback from his colleagues – and the feel good hormones released as a result – encourage him to keep trying his best in the workplace. It’s interesting to note that some scientists believe a shortage of dopamine might be responsible for all manner of medical and psychological complaints, from autism to Parkinson’s, but that you can boost your dopamine by eating more protein (because that’s what it’s made from, apparently). Another reason to keep chomping brazil nuts… if I needed one. Better yet, Healthline tells us...
Listening to music can be a fun way to stimulate dopamine release in your brain.
Next week, we’ll talk about one of the biggest dopamine boosters on the planet – and, as a result, one of the most addictive drugs you will ever come across. Worse still, it’s perfectly legal and children are becoming exposed to it at an increasingly younger age these days… with all kinds of horrific consequences.
I’m talking about social media.
Oh, the horror.
If you could see the you that I see
When I see you
You would see things differently
I assure you
I wish I could hire Henry Rollins as my motivational coach.
Another very special guest joins us today for the latest edition of Guest Post Thursday... it's C from Sun Dried Sparrows. I feel especially privileged to have C here, since she's struggling with the older blogger's blog over at her own place and drafting in a few fine guest posts of her own. (I've promised to return the favour, so who knows, you may see me guesting over there soon.)
And Rigid Digit before her, C is hitting the bottle...
There are three good reasons why I shouldn't be here with my Top Ten Booze songs (a continuation of Rigid Digit's excellent guest post on these esteemed pages):
1) I can't even get it together enough to write on my own blog right now,
2) I'm a total lightweight when it comes to drinking, and
c) I can't do numerical lists....
But if there's one thing we've learned so far in this truly horrible year, it's that life is full of surprises.
With huge thanks to Rol for being our most generous host and to Rigid Digit for getting in the first round, here are ten more songs about drinking, in no particular order, which I really must assemble before that small glass of Prosecco goes straight to my head.
It's not strictly about boozing but, with its opening line of "Let's get drunk on Saturday..." I couldn't resist it. The lovely Emiliana Torrini takes us back to the tipsy, carefree Summers of our youth in this joyful ode to friendship and, as she puts it so charmingly, "playing silly buggers". I mean, who hasn't stayed awake 'til the morning with make-up all over their face at one time or another after a few too many ciders?
I love Nancy and Lee; I could get legless on Lee's voice alone. 'Summer Wine' appears to be all about intoxication, seduction and then being royally stitched up by one's so-called lover - after all their amorous shenanigans she only goes and steals his money and his belongings! Seems some people will do anything for a pair of silver spurs but I hear they're going for stupid amounts on eBay.
I have this track tucked away on the B-side of the single 'Heart Failed In The Back Of A Taxi' and I've no idea if it's actually about drinking or not as it's an instrumental. But with Sarah's sighs, some weird and wonderful electronic sounds and the way it ebbs and flows, I'm happy to imagine that the bar in the title is in a subterranean club down a seedy city back street, where eccentric creatures of the night gather after hours to drink Absinthe and whisky. Please don't tell me it's about scrupulous barristers!
A bit of a surprise, this one, as my personal pre-punk soundtrack comprised little more than Abba and Donny Osmond, but I have Mr SDS to thank for introducing me to Peter Gabriel era (important to make that distinction) Genesis. Apparently, Mr Gabriel and his theatrical persona had such an effect on him as a 17-year old that he even wanted to adopt the same hairstyle...
This was the B-side to the 1974 Genesis single 'I Know What I Like (In Your Wardrobe') but I'm reliably informed that it was originally released on a flexi-disc which came as a freebie when joining the Genesis Unofficial Fan Club, aka 'The Hogweed Youth Movement'. I would join that club on the strength of the name alone.
Surely there must be some songs about drinking and pubs from my early punk days, I said to myself the other day while contemplating this Top Ten. I couldn't come up with any... And then, I woke up the next morning with a very persistent line going through my head.
"We're going down the pub..."
Oh, of course, it's only bleedin' Jimmy Pursey, innit!
Another instrumental but there's no ambiguity in the title of this one. Surely the aural equivalent of a high speed chase involving leather-clad bikers, gun-toting maverick cops and, of course, vehicles crashing inexplicably into piles of empty cardboard boxes.
Hypnotic, funky and pretty intoxicating in its own way, I love this song from 1970. It's interesting to note that when Eric Burdon first got together with black LA band War in the late '60s and played numerous live gigs around California, it would have been quite a bold political statement as this was right in the middle of the 'Black Panther' era. 'Spill The Wine' featured on their debut album 'Eric Burdon Declares War' and was released as a single in the US and several other countries where it became a hit - but, for some reason, not in the UK.
How could I possibly NOT include this?! Here's a song which tells it like it is and warns of the obvious perils of drinking sixteen beers. I imagine fifteen beers would produce the same result to be honest, but I'm not prepared to test out the theory. This catchy single with its surfy guitar lick (sounding a bit like the B52s on speed) made it to No. 36 in the UK charts in 198, in spite of being banned by BBC Radio 1 and having several stores refuse to stock it. The Dead Kennedys responded thoughtfully by supplying a sticker for shops to use, which read:
"Caution: You are the victim of yet another stodgy retailer afraid to warp your mind by revealing the title of this record so peel slowly and see..."
Apologies for repetition but I couldn't include the Dead Kennedys' original without its perfect counterpart cover version from French outfit Nouvelle Vague. Their characteristic lounge treatment with its bossa nova rhythm and breathy, flirtatious female vocals from Camille give it a whole new slant.
1. The Newtown Neurotics - Licensing Hours
The Newtown Neurotics have a very special place in my heart. Once upon a time (the late '70s), in a mysterious land not far from Harlow New Town, we all used to hang out together. We frequented our little local venue, sometimes 2 or 3 nights a week, where almost everyone was in a punk band. It became my spiritual home in a way, and spawned many a musician and band who went on to do greater things; one of those was the nascent Newtown Neurotics. I remember well the night that Steve Drewett and the late Colin Dredd spray-painted silver anarchy 'A' signs on the blazers that my schoolfriends and I were wearing, not long after we started going down there. Steve with his long curly blonde hair, Colin with the biggest, warmest smile. So many memories are wrapped up in that era and hearing the Newtown Neurotics again brings them all back. Reflecting on it last night I concluded that, in spite of school, it was pretty much the happiest time of my life.
'Licensing Hours' is classic early Newtown Neurotics and includes an inspired line in response to an over-zealous pub landlord:
"I realise this ain't a doss-house and I do have a home to go to..."
And on that note, it must be last orders!
Thank you for listening.
C
Thanks again to C for another fine selection of booze songs. Anyone up for a third round? Or anything else you may wish to contribute.
Guest Post Thursday will continue next week... but stay tuned, because we'll also have a very special Guest Post on Monday of next week. Who? Why? All will be revealed...
If you've got the Hair Like Brian May Blues this Sunday morning, don't feel Under Pressure. Here are the answers to the 100th edition of Saturday Snapshots to Keep Yourself Alive.
As I write this, nobody had spotted the Extra Special Bonus Mystery which connected 10 of the songs on this list... but I guess you'd have to be pretty sad to do that. (No offence to Alyson who came close to working it out.) Different photos, different clues and different songs, but the odd-numbered artists in this list all appeared in Saturday Snapshots #1, way back in September 2017.
I think Alyson just pipped Rigid Digit to the crown this week. I was intending to work out a league table of winners from the past 100 editions, but as you probably have realised by now, my time is rather restricted at the moment. Thanks for playing along as always, everybody. Remember: this quiz is Driven By You.
20. Lennie's pal in dire circumstance. I guess Tony must have shown him the way.
George & Lennie, as anybody who's done an English exam at school in the last 50 years will know, were the unlucky duo from Of Mice & Men.
Well, two of Donald's nephews. Dewey must have been sick that day.
Still one of the greatest pop songs ever recorded...
Well, that's it, folks. 100 seems a pretty good number to bow out on, don't you think? Time to call it a day on Saturday Snapshots, maybe? Give you all a lie in next Saturday morning?
As you've guessed all the answers, I figured I might as well play the tunes now rather than wait another week...
Points were awarded in the comments. Totting them up here would take too long, but you're all winners in my book. I might have to make it a little harder next week...
4. Always shelling out, never picking up rice in the church.
Yes, I did change the clue. Originally I'd put "always winning the race", until I remembered that it was the tortoise that won the race, not the turtle. D'oh. The new clue wasn't as good, I admit. As for picking up rice in the church - well, Eleanor Rigby did that. But this was definitely a different girl. She didn't even spell her name the same way.
Huey sued Ray Parker Jr. when he heard the Ghostbusters theme. There are some similarities. They settled out of court and signed a condfidentiality agreement to never speak about it in public. A few years later, Huey did an interview with VH1 in which he mentioned it. Ray sued him back.
2. After the cremation, there was hardly anything left.
Who knew there were so many Ash songs that would have fit this clue. And I thought I'd chosen the most obvious!
1. A bunch of absolute good-for-nothings who hate sleeping policemen.
What did Edwin Starr say War was good for?
Yes, I boo-booed with the inclusion of Eric Burdon, who it seems wasn't in War when they recorded this track. But this was the best photo of the band I could find on t'internet.
