Modern Life Is Rubbish #6: Fahrenheit 451

Utopia - Fahrenheit 451

You may well have heard the furore (or furfor, as we used to call it - a much better word in my mind) about the school library somewhere in Greater Manchester where almost 200 books have been banned and the librarian suspended after the senior leadership team used AI to check whether the contents of the shelves were "appropriate for children".

XTC - Books Are Burning

Among those books that were deemed inappropriate...

Becoming - the autobiography of Michelle Obama - due to ‘racism and political themes’.

The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks - because it is a ‘romantic drama about enduring love and memory loss’.

The Twilight series by Stephanie Meyer - because they contain ‘mature romantic themes, sexual tension, and violence involving vampires and werewolves’. Now if you'd banned them because they were rubbish... but no, not even that. I'd rather kids were reading rubbish than not reading at all. 

McCarthy - Should The Bible Be Banned?

This all kicked off because someone complained that the school library stocked the non-fiction book  Men Who Hate Women by Laura Bates - doubtless a reaction based on the title alone. The book is actually a serious examination of incel culture, and rather than being banned it should probably be a set text for young teenage lads across the country, to prevent them from ever taking the Red Pill.

Of course, there's one book that was selected as unsuitable which should come as no surprise to anyone... George Orwell's 1984. Proof, if ever proof were needed, that our AI overlords will never grasp the concept of irony.

I could rage against the machine, but what's the use? This is just the beginning...

Open your eyes and see

The world I couldn't change for you

Reach out your hand and take

The world that will belong to you

We were on our way to a better day

And the spirit was in us all

But as time went by we fell by the wayside

Maybe you'll be the last to fall

You are the only ones

There is nobody left but you

You are the chosen ones

There is nobody else to choose

Back when I was young, my hope was strong

But the time blew it all to hell

If I thought I knew what was good for you

I would have gone and done it for myself

Worlds of tomorrow

Life without sorrow

Take it because it's yours

Sons of 1984

I can still see the great panorama of hate

Being cleansed by our loving hands

But the brothers broke stride, the sisters cried

Now you have to start all over again

Bono Wednesdays #1

Made you look.

Yes, it's that bloody day again.

Let's just get through it, shall we, and back to more normal pursuits?

Whenever I think of Sonny Bono, after I've thought about his time with Cher, and how he might not have been the nicest guy for her to hang out with... my second thought is always "Lake Tahoe". Purely because I have the location of his death engraved in my memory because of the song below...

Who says pop music never teaches you anything?

Namesakes #182: April March

Today is the final day of March, tomorrow the first of April. To celebrate, here are a small number of artists (still - quite amazing that there's more than one) with both April and March in their name...

APRIL MARCH #1

Not a musician, but it would be remiss of me not to include the original April March, "The First Lady of Burlesque", a headline act across the world from 1952 till her retirement in '78 (she gave up because the stripping business had become "too blatant and sexual"). Born Velma Fern Worden, she was married eight times (and briefly engaged to Mel Torme), almost became a pro golfer, and made a comeback in 2006, aged 71. She died last year.

If none of the others take your fancy this week, I'm sure Velma will appreciate your vote.

AN APRIL MARCH #2

Next up, a Canadian shoegaze / dream pop band, active between '89 and '99, originally called The Whittingtons. Compared to  many of this week's acts, they at least play proper music... I just can't find much more info about them without doing a deep dive, and I already spent far too much time this week looking for a video of #1 performing in her heyday. (I'll save you the trouble - none seem to exist.)

An April March - Scarlett Bliss

APRIL MARCH #3

New Yorker Elinor Lanman Blake is a  writer, illustrator and animator who has worked on The Ren & Stimpy Show, Pee-Wee's Playhouse and the Madonna movie Who's That Girl. She also did the illustrations for a children's book written by Jack White named after his song We're Going To Be Friends.

As a musician, she goes by the name April March, first in her band the Pussywillows, and then as a solo artist. As a self-confessed Francophile, she's rather partial to a bit of Serge, and she's probably most well known for her cover of Gainsbourg's Chick Habit which featured in the soundtrack to Quentin Tarantino's movie Death Proof.

April March - Chick Habit

APRIL MAY MARCH #4

See what they did there? I mean, really, if it was a busier week, I wouldn't include this at all. And also, it's filed under "experimental" on the camp of bands, and that's never a recommendation.

April May March - The Badger

Trust me though, it might not be the most bizarre thing you hear this week. Because...

APRIL MARCH #5

Because... this week's WTF offering was dropped onto the camp of bands in 2020. It's a recording of some woman sitting in her car eating a granola bar, while talking to you in a breathy whisper. If that's the sort of thing that gets you engine revving, you can buy it for the low price of one American dollar. Others might prefer to go back to #1 for their titillation.

I'm hoping April's got a real job in the last six years and this isn't her only source of income.

April March - My Boyfriend

 

Have we got time for a bonus track, just to make up the numbers?

MARCH ONTO APRIL

Stretching the rules to breaking point, but at least it means we get to close today with a proper tune. This Florida-based band from the last decade "blend many different moods and tones of emo, Alternative, and pop punk." Nothing experimental, no granola bars, and they keep their clothes on the whole time.

March Onto April - Postcards From Greece

Which one makes you want to March into April... and which are just March-April Fools?

The Enigma of CD #87: Part 4

More tracks from another randomly chosen CD compilation. The purpose of these CDs wasn't to show off my cool (ha!), eclectic tastes... it was just to expose my son to a wide a variety of old pop music as possible in his formative years, before I lost him to spotle-fy.

Track 11: The Fratellis - Chelsea Dagger

Confession time: I find The Fratellis a bit annoying. And most of the time, I find Chelsea Dagger, their biggest hit, very annoying. Actually, I’m not sure I can remember any of their other songs, but this one… it’s hard to get away from. Because of the yobbish terrace anthem chorus which, the more I hear it, the more I can’t help but think, “Knees up, Mother Brown!”

I was therefore surprised to discover that the Fratellis are, to quote George, Weegies. I would have sworn they were Landahners, like the Libertines who they clearly owe a sizable debt to. I also didn’t know that they took their band name from The Goonies. Clearly I need to watch The Goonies again. I did know that they called their debut record Costello Music, but apparently that has nothing to do with Elvis, it’s just the name of an old studio they used to rehearse in.

Why are they here if I don’t care for them that much? I guess because I thought this would be the kind of easy-to-singalong indie gubbins that might stick in Sam’s head and persuade him that guitar music was the way forward rather than Juice WRLD, Imaginary Dragons and Youngboy With A Broken Neck.

All those efforts were ultimately in vain…

 

12: Fine Young Cannibals - Good Thing

Is it better to burn out than fade away? The Fine Young Cannibals burned very brightly in the late 80s, and they were a band I had a lot of time for while I was otherwise falling out of love with the singles chart. Turns out that Roland Gift and his two mates – Andy Cox and Davis Steele, both formerly of The Beat – had even greater success in the US where both this song and its predecessor, She Drives Me Crazy, were Billboard Number Ones.

And then, by 1992 it was all over. Two albums, a clutch of hit singles, then the pressure of fame, musical differences, the same old story. Maybe it’s better they went out on top rather than the slow decline that kills so many bands.

 

13: The Clash - London Calling

Some of you will be wondering how I could do 87 CDs before getting to The Clash’s best song. 

The Clash are a harder sell than The Jam or The Undertones – maybe they’re a more mature proposition? Or maybe they just didn’t have tunes that were quite as catchy? Should I Stay… and the Bobby Fuller Four cover (originally recorded by a post-Buddy Crickets) had already featured by the time I got to this one, but after that there was a long gap and I’ve only recently started adding less obvious Clash songs to Sam’s compilations… long after I pretty much exhausted the early Weller output.

Or, to put it another way, London Calling is a far, far better song than Chelsea Dagger. But I bet if you played them both to the average eight year old and asked them which they prefer, Joe and Mick would be going home with second prize.

 

14: Dobie Gray - The In Crowd

I wonder if I included this one as a subtle hint at a moral message? “Don’t worry about getting in with The In Crowd, son. Just find people who accept you as you are.” That’s a lesson I’m still trying to learn as my regular carping about not being one of the cool kids on the blogosphere will clearly show.

Dobie Gray, of course, wants to be part of The In Crowd… so actually, the message is the opposite of the one I’d like Sam to learn. Did Dobie ever get to be part of that auspicious group himself? Well, he came from nowhere, born to Texas sharecroppers – there’s even a question over his real name… was it Lawrence Darrow Brown or Leonard Victor Ainsworth? He then achieved a fair bit of success over a fair few years… most notably with the song Drift Away, a hit both in 1973 and again in 2003 when it was covered by country-rap-rock dude Uncle Kracker* who took it back into the US Top 10, with Dobie on guest vocals.

(*I was unfamiliar with Uncle Kracker until today. He looks like that kid you went to school with who started working in McDonalds in the Sixth Form... and he's still working there.)

When he died in 2011, Dobie left 100% of his musical assets and royalties to charity. Surely that qualifies him for membership of a very select group, even better than The In Crowd?

Snapshots #441 - Songs About Bodies Of Water

This is the late River Phoenix. I was going to put his picture up here yesterday, but I figured it'd make the link too easy. I have to be so careful with you guys. Instead, I went with Mr. Bragg because...

Billy Bragg - Body Of Water

Here are some more songs about that. Hope you can swim.

15. A Guy Named... Jarvis?

A Guy Named Joe meets another Sheffield Cocker.

I can't believe that this is the first time Joe Cocker has ever appeared on this blog.

Joe Cocker - Delta Lady

14. What Mark Knopfler wore round his head.

He wore a headband.

The Band - Up On Cripple Creek

13. Don't challenge him to fisticuffs.

Louis Armstrong - Canal Street Blues

12. Charlton Heston was their President.

Charlton was the President of the National Rifle Association.

The Gun Club - The Straits of Love & Hate

11. Jog round the oil platform.

Runrig - Loch Lomond

10. Sweeter than The Who's Magic.

The Who had a Magic Bus.

Honeybus - Cross Channel Ferry

9. Climbing without ropes, where Jason Bateman got into trouble.

Jason Bateman starred in The Ozark. Good show. You should give it a watch.

Ozark Mountain Daredevils - Arroyo

8. All Amish wink... but in a funny way.

Hank Williams - Jambalaya (On the Bayou)

7. How I feel when I discover the price of fuel has gone up again.

That Petrol Emotion - Swamp

6. Young tearaways in the country capital.

Nashville Teens - How Deep Is The Ocean?

5. Blackburn, Orlando and Montana are all sad places.

Bluetones - Down at the Reservoir

4. Verstappen seen in the cemetery.

Max... by graves.

Max Bygraves - Gilly Gilly Ossenfeffer Katzenellen Bogen By The Sea

3. Full Monty star becomes more impressive.

Grand (Mark) Addy.

Grandaddy - The Crystal Lake 

2. Where a Scottish Queen met her maker.

Mary Queen of Scots was beheaded in...

Fotheringhay - The Pond & The Stream

1. Bernice's pet rung the doctor: "Help, Doctor, I'm all in a tizzy!"

"Bernice's pet rung" was an anagram.

Bruce Springsteen - The River

Let the water carry you back here next Saturday for more Snapshots.