Saturday 31 October 2020

Saturday Snapshots #161 - Facemasks Special


In my ongoing quest to make this blog reflect the world outside our window, Saturday Snapshots will be wearing facemasks this week. I think it's fair to say that none of the answers this week will feature conspiracy theorist mask-denying nuts like Noel Gallagher, Ian Brown or Van Morrison.

Who's behind the mask and what is their song?

10. SOS! No jest! Infatuated with a lad!

9. Who let him out? He can't even remember his own identity!

8. Pervy haircut? It'll all be OK the day after tomorrow.

7. Offspring of red-breasted piper tunes through the static to get a clearer signal. 

6. Young men & women move very fast.

5. Remorse found in meme.

4. Lou eying Mike - ends up dizzy.

3. Good & cheerful... but the cure doesn't work. 

2. Explosion in city vermin, hates #8.

1. Thumbs up & fingers crossed.

The masks are off tomorrow morning!

Thursday 29 October 2020

My Top Ten Vote Trump Out Songs

Flashback 4 years to early November 2016, and here's the post I offered in response to Donald Trump being elected President of the USA.

It seems impossible, after everything that has happened in the past 4 years, that Trump will be re-elected next Tuesday. But it seemed impossible that he'd be elected in the first place. And it seems impossible that he hasn't been impeached and thrown in jail a long time ago. It seems impossible than anyone would still vote for him.

But we live in impossible times.

Here are ten songs I hope will make a difference.

We do what we can...

10. Franz Ferdinand - Demagogue

He's a demagogue
Check out his rise
He's a demagogue
He's fatally famous
He's a demagogue
He plays with my fears
A demagogue
My shadow side dreaming
The demagogue
It feels so good to be dumb

From the wall straight to la cuenta
Those pussy grabbing fingers
Won't let go of me now
The demagogue

9. Todd Rundgren & Donald Fagen - Tin Foil Hat

He's coming down the escalator
With a girl from east of here
He wants to make the country greater
We've got nothing left to fear

Because the man in the tin foil hat
Is sitting on the throne tonight
It kinda feels like a coup d'etat
But it's gonna be great, tremendous, amazing and all that

'Cause the man in the tin foil hat
Is tweeting like a teenage girl
He puts the Pluto in plutocrat
But it's gonna be a huge huge huge new world
He hasn't got the time for losers
Unless they do as he commands
He's writing checks to his accusers
With those tiny little hands

'Cause the man in the tin foil hat
Is gonna drain the swamp tonight
And fill it up with alternative facts
And it's gonna be great, tremendous, amazing and all that

8.  Run DMC - Remove 45

What we need to do... we need to arrest the president!

7. Billy Bragg - The Times They Are A' Changin' Back

Come Mexicans, Muslims, LGBT and Jews
Keep your eyes wide for what’s on the news
For President Trump is express his views
And I that the mob he’s inside in
We’ll soon break your windows
Burn down your schools
For the times they are a changin' back

6. Bruce Springsteen & Joe Grushecky

Don't tell me a lie
And sell it as a fact
I've been down that road before
And I ain't goin' back

And don't you brag to me
That you never read a book
I never put my faith
In a con man and his crooks

5. John Grant - Smug Cunt

Now you're just a smug cunt
Who doesn't even do his own stunts
They just let you in 'cos you won't shut up
Protein's flying off the shelves
Panties ain't gonna wet themselves
They just let you play 'cos you won't shut up
Here's to acting like a little boy
Masturbating with expensive toys
They just let you play 'cos you won't shut up

4. Will Hoge - Gilded Walls

Oh and I don't believe in the devil
But you might make me go and change my mind
You can see this whole damn world get leveled and not even lose track of time
Inside your gilded walls that shine

Well another group of kids in high schools dead
But you're still at your golf course teeing off at nine
People marching in the streets trying to find a little peace
You sit around spouting awful shit online

Well you've always been the same
You ain't ever gonna change
But I know it's gonna all catch up with you in time
And there's a pot of gold from all the dreams you stole
Inside your gilded walls that shine

3. Public Enemy - State Of The Union

Whatever it takes, rid this dictator
POTUS my tail, Ass debater
Prime-time Preemo, rhyme-time crime
Like no other in this lifetime
White house killer, dead in lifelines
Vote this joke out, or die tryin'
Unprecedented, demented, many president'd
Nazi Gestapo dictator defended
It's not what you think, it's what you follow
Run for them jewels, drink from that bottle
Another four years gonna gut y'all hollow
Gutted out, dried up, broke and can't borrow

Mister, I am the law and you are not
In fact, I'm god, I got a lot
Mister these united breaks takeover come over
Orange hair, fear the comb-over
Here's another scare, keep them hands in the air
Better not breathe, you dare not dare
Don't say nothing, don't think nothing
Make America great again the middle just love it
When he wanna talk, walk y'all straight to them ovens
Human beings of color, yeah we be sufferin'

2. Karine Polwart - I Burn but I Am Not Consumed

On May 11th 1930, Mary Anne Macleod, from Tong on The Isle of Lewis, boarded the RMS Transylvania from Glasgow to New York City, in search of a better life. There, she fell in love with Frederick, whose father had come to America from Germany as a 16 year old barber. 

The couple raised five children. 

Mary Anne’s middle son would return years later to Scotland, home of his MacLeod ancestors, whose clan motto is: I burn but I am not consumed.  And here - in the name of progress and profit - and executive golf - he would pit himself against time and tide. In his wake, the shifting sands at Balmedie in Aberdeenshire would never be the same. 

That son of Mary Anne MacLeod is powerful. 

So too is The North Sea. 

The marbled, metamorphic rock of Lewis is two-thirds the age of Earth - amongst the very oldest found on our planet. It knows about power. It’s seen a lot. And so I wondered: what might that rock of Lewis have to say about the Inauguration - tomorrow in Washington DC - of the 45th President of the United States of America - Mary Anne’s middle son? This is what the rock told me. 

Oh son of Lewis, lonely boy, 
hewn from granite, salt and sky 
upon a foreign shore: 
the ocean is a mirror gleam 
in which you see yourself, 
and nothing more. 
Three billion years of gravity, 
of strata forged in fire and earth, 
the stone crib of your mother’s birth, 
in which your forebears lie. 
I am alive. I am a tomb. 
I burn, but I am not consumed. 
I burn, but I am not consumed. 
Fish may swim at your command 
across The Atlantic to the land 
of dreams and self belief and boundless chance. 
An exile tale. An immigrant dance. 
You’re captain of a frigate now, 
So set your compass, raise the mast, 
Blow up the sails, 
Erase the past, and future, if you must. 
Together we can stand 
and watch the peat-land turn to dust. 
This is your apprenticeship: 
The Gulf Stream doesn’t know your name, 
nor does the splendid, blazing sun 
that alters how the currents run. 
The North wind never heard you roar: 
You’re fired! You’re fired! 
My back might burn, the blaze run wild, 
but I am not consumed, my child. 
The Minch whips up a spindrift storm. 
The machair shifts. The machair moans. 
At Uig Bay and Luskentyre, 
the gale blows fast, the tide flows higher. 
The shore erodes and disappears. 
And, meantime, you are stoking fears 
and stacking hope into a pyre. 
You strike a match. 
Oh ma bairn, mo leanaibh         
Oh ma bairn, mo leanaibh 
Your mother was a wee girl once, 
who played upon my rocky shore. 
And you, you are broken boy, 
and you want more and more and more. 
You build a tower. You build a wall, 
You live in fear that they might fall. 
You who see nothing but your face 
in the sheen of The Hudson River. 
Oh ma bairn, mo leanaibh 
Oh ma bairn, mo leanaibh 
A balancing is yet to come, 
although by then you may be gone 
and leave a desert to your sons and daughters. 
Still, these waters, they will rise, 
the North Sea haar will cover your eyes, 
despite your appetite for lies. 
your disregard  for truth. 
Three billion years of gravity, 
of strata forged in fire and earth, 
the stone crib of your mother’s birth, 
in which your forebears lie. 
I am alive. I am a tomb. 
I burn, but I am not consumed. 
I burn, but I am not consumed. 

1. Chuck Prophet - Get Off The Stage

Me, I’m just one man
Up on the stage I make my stand
Yes, it’s true, I have a band
Up here behind me
While you, you’ve got your crew
And the Secret Service too
And your wife from the EU
But you’re no good at rhyming

So hey, get down off that stage
We’ve heard everything you’ve got to say
You’ve been calling all the shots
You’ve got us all tied up in knots
C’mon man, get off the stage

Now me, I spend half of my life
In an Econoline van
With my band and my wife
And when she steps up to the mic
I’ve seen grown men burst out crying
While you, you’ve got an ugly mouth
You got no heart at all,
Except for your Russian pal
You’re an obstruction in democracy’s bowel
And the patient is dying

So come down off that stage
Please get off the stage
Come on down and take a seat
We’ll put some John Prine on repeat
All we’re asking is get off the stage

If you were an automobile
You’d be out of gas
With four flat tires and a smog check
That’s never gonna pass
If you were a pair of socks
You’d be full of holes
You’re one bad hombre
So why don’t you just turn around
And go home

And maybe do something with that hair
Take a walk in the park
Visit a renaissance fair
You’re headed for prison, you know
But don’t be scared
The first time is the hardest

Just get down off that stage
We’ve heard everything you’ve got to say
Take a book down off the shelf
Try to love somebody else
Whatever you do, just get off the stage

Tuesday 27 October 2020

Name That Tune: Our Top Ten David Songs


Everyone has a friend called Dave, right? I actually have two. Though I don't see them that much anymore. (Let's face it: I don't see anybody that much anymore.)

Very few suggestions this week for a famous David to illustrate our Top Ten. I wonder why?

My Top Ten Songs About David Bowie

Let's get straight onto the rest of the David songs then...

Charity Chic's first thought was...

Manfred Mann's Earth Band - Davy’s On The Road Again

I may be back, he said.

I hope not after that dreadful suggestion, George replied.

Now I don't always agree with George (who does?), but I find myself having to here. Beyond ruining early Springsteen songs, if this if the Earth Band's great claim to fame, they should have stuck with counting backwards from 5. It's not a bad song, I just can't get past the opening couplet...

Davy's on the road again
Wearing different clothes again

I mean, I should hope so.

But wait, before I get too mean about Manfred Mann's Earth Band... here's Lynchie...

I knew Dave Flett of "Davy's On The Road Again" fame.

I keep telling you, mate, even though Guest Post Thursday appears to have run out of gas, the door is always open for more of your stories. You could at least tell us if he wore different clothes every time he went out on the road.

What else did Lynchie have to offer?

Danny Wilson - Davy

Forgotten that. Good to be reminded.

Cheech & Chong - Dave's Not Here (It's not a song but it's on an album.)

You know, I found that more entertaining than Davy's On The Road Again.

Tom Petty - Lonesome Dave

And that's an out-take! God, I miss Tom Petty.

Meanwhile, busy as he was criticising CC's pitch, did George have a better suggestion?

Ain't Necessarily So, Bronski Beat version, talks about little David being small but oh my...!

Bronski Beat - Ain't Necessarily So

Certainly a better video than Davy's On The Road Again.

What about C?

I remember you liked the Scars' track I put on over at my place recently, so wonder if you'll like another song from the same album - perfectly titled... as you might imagine... 'David'!

Good work, C, though a little too angular and spikey for my ageing lugs. I preferred All About You. That may well feature on this blog one day soon.

Here's Rigid Digit, with what seems like it should be an obvious choice. Except...

Morrissey - Dagenham Dave

Is Dagenham Dave the worst single Morrissey ever released? 

Surprisingly not. That award must surely go to...

Morrissey - Roy's Keen

Both from Morrissey's best-forgotten "let's take the piss out of chavs" phase. Still, we look back on that with fond nostalgia given his most recent phases.

It's worth pointing out too that Moz wasn't the first person to use that particular Dave in a song title...

The Stranglers - Dagenham Dave

Which is marginally better than Morrissey's song. I especially like the talky bit in the middle.

Much better offerings from Rigid Digit include these...

Carter The Unstoppable Sex Machine - A World Without Dave

Joan Baez - David

And this one might be pushing it (as it's a surname)...

Stereophonics - Billy Davey's Daughter

Yes, I do think we need to institute a No Surnames Rule. Which would also disqualify this...

Belle & Sebastian - Jonathan David

Although on second listen, maybe not...?

I was Jonathan to your David
You're still King

Final word from Rigid Digit:

Anyone mentioned Craig Daaaavid yet?

Craig David's Covid Song:

I stayed at home on Monday
I stayed at home on Tuesday
On Wednesday I stayed in
Same for Thursday, Friday and Saturday
On Sunday I stayed in

I have very little time for Craig David. But that's still better than Neil Diamond's Covid song that we heard last week.

Here's John Medd...

Sweet - Funk It Up (Davids Song)

I had to do a fair bit of digging to work out if that was actually The Sweet. I was pleasantly surprised to discover that it was.

What about the votes from our Dubai jury this week? Jim?

A Flock of Seagulls - Remember David 

Sounds like the theme tune to an 80s action show. Knight Rider or Streethawk or Air Wolf...  

Swiss Adam has a couple of top suggestions that creep into the Top Ten (one way or another) but he also suggested...

Black Jack Davey by the White Stripes is good if you like old English folk songs updated by 21st century blues revivalists.

The White Stripes - Black Jack Davey

Also recorded by Bob Dylan. Which only goes to show that we're missing The Swede this week. I hope he's OK. 

Now to Canada, where Douglas is basking in the glory of getting one of his countrymen into last week's Top Ten...

...and may I just mention that Colter Wall has a fantastic track called "Me And Big Dave", wherein he absolutely sounds nothing whatsoever like a person in his 20's but everything like the embodiment of what is deep, soulful and great about country music in the Cash-like vein? Can the young Canadian rank two weeks in a row, perhaps clawing his way deeper in the Top Ten?

Colter Wall - Me And Big Dave

Sadly not, Douglas. My only defence is variety.

And if that is not your thing, the Trash Can Sinatras once again have a contender, with the raucous and ebullient b-side (gawsh, they save some of the best for the flip sides, don't they?) entitled "Ask Davy". According to legend, when the as-yet-untitled track was being readied for release, the record exec types came to hassle the band abound the small matter of a title for the song before going to press. The band, sorely pressed, tried to brush off the corporate pedants by steering them for suggestions to the usually forthcoming bassist, Davy Hughes....and that is how the track came to qualify for this week's Top Ten...

Trash Can Sinatras - Ask Davy 

Sadly all I could find was a relatively short live excerpt, Douglas, though I liked what I heard. And that's a great sing title story. Thank you.

All of which brings us to Walter, who did finally offer a couple of famous Davids...

Glad nobody named David Hasselhoff in the comments. 

No, we had quite enough of The Hoff last week!

The first name that came to my memory was Dave Clark Five with Glad All Over, a song from my very young days.

Dave Clark Five - Glad All Over

Undeniably a great pop song. 

Other songs that should be named are:

Serge Gainsbourg - Harley David Son Of A Bitch 

Terrible pun. Great tune

(Also covered by Bollock Brothers.)


The Bollock Brothers - Harley David Son Of A Bitch

Somehow loses its charm when no longer in French. (Understatement of the week.)

Beastie Boys - A Year and a Day

'EZ Mike with the Disco Dave
He was going by the Name of Disco Dave

New Order - Murder

I wouldn't do that Dave
I'm afraid, Dave
My mind is going
There is no question about it

By this point, I'm, sure you're all wondering what my millennial hipster politico friend, Ben, has to offer this week...

Van Halen - Ice Cream Man

I listened to that five times trying to find a lyrical reference to Dave Lee Roth. It's subtle, but it is there...

Now summertime's here, babe, need somethin' to keep you cool
Better look out now though, Dave's got somethin' for you
Tell ya what it is..

It's an ice cream, ladies. Honest. And all his flavours are guaranteed to satisfy.

Ben's second suggestion almost got him the red card though...

I've got Christmas With The Chipmunks on vinyl and I'm pretty sure they say Dave at least 30 times on there, or is that cheating?

I'm just going to leave this here in case anyone wants to check this out for themselves. I certainly won't be.

Christmas With The Chipmunks (with David Seville)

Ben promised me some better suggestions, but missed the deadline. Obviously overdid the hummus and coconut milk this week 

Dumpster diving time!

The Chalets - David Boring

Half Man Half Biscuit - David Wainwright's Feet

Measurements are paramount when choosing boots and shoes.

The Field Mice - Star Of David

Low - David & Jude

Number one on the Top Ten Jude Songs, surely?

Busted - Who's David?

The Radio Dept. - David

Conveyor - Two Davids

Courtney Barnett - David

Glam stomp ahoy!

Suzanne Vega - Rock In This Pocket (Song Of David)

Oh Pep! - What's The Deal With David?

The Strumbellas - David

Daniel Knox - David Charmichael

Dale Watson - David Buxkemper

He's a farming trucker... and a trucking farmer! 

The Pearlfishers - David Vs. Godzilla

The Czars - Dave's Dream

The Levellers - Dirty Davey

Toto - Dave's Gone Skiing

De La Soul featuring David Goldblatt - You Go, Dave

George Strait - Arkansas Dave

Whitney - Dave's Song

Cosmo Jarvis - Dave's House

The Monochrome Set - Killing Dave

Roy Harper - Davey

The Moldy Peaches - Downloading Porn With Davo

I've allowed a Davo, because.

The Decemberists - Burying Davy

The Frank & Walters - Davy Chase

Todd Snider - Digger Dave's Crazy Woman Blues

Mclusky - Dave, Stop Killing Prostitutes

Joe Jackson - Dave

(That Dave lives in a cave. Just saying.)

Pink Guy - Flex Like David Icke

Don't ask where I found that. I think it was projected into my brain by illuminati lizards. I wish they hadn't.

And now the Top Ten...

10. John Hiatt - Trudy And Dave

We'll start with this from Lynchie, because I'm a sucker for this kind of Bonnie & Clyde story song. (I should do a Top Ten of them.) And I doubt we'll ever get around to a Top Ten Trudy Songs.

Well, Trudy and Dave, those crazy kids
Had a baby of their own, and you heard what they did
In the middle of a strip mall shots rang out
Shots heard all over the world, no doubt
'Cause it was there in the paper the very next day
'Bout a couple and a baby and a Chevrolet
Who shot up an automatic teller machine
Took the money for the laundry and drove away clean

If you ever do "Ethel" songs, can I suggested John Hiatt's Ethylene?

Good call, Lynchie. Though I'm probably more likely to do the Trudy Top Ten. I mean, I bet Sting has a bunch of those I could take the piss out of use.

9. The Boomtown Rats - Dave

From Rigid Digit, a song about the Rats former saxophone player, Dave McHale.

8. Fess Parker - Ballad of Davy Crockett

Covered by everyone and his dog, this is the original, and it reminds me of my childhood... despite the fact I never saw the TV show. Pop culture stuck around a lot longer back then.

Extra marks for being called Fess Parker.

See also...

They Might Be Giants - The Ballad of Davy Crockett (in Outer Space)

And this from Swiss Adam...

Thee Headcoatees - Davey Crockett

I liked that a lot.

7. 'Til Tuesday - David Denies

Early Aimee Mann, with awful 80s perm, but you can hear where the class of her solo career would come from.

6. Betty & The Werewolves - David Cassidy

My bedroom's covered in photos of David
I have 5000 if I'm estimating
I've been a fan for nearly four years now
I like his records and I play them LOUD
My days are filled mostly thinking of David
I stole a lock of his hair and I saved it
I put it in my dresser drawer
One day I'll tell you what I save it for
Los Angeles is a long way from Ruislip
They told me that but I still felt sure I'd make it

Considering this was released ten years ago, they seemed way too young to be in the David Cassidy demographic.

5. Bree Sharp - David Duchovny 

Martin wins great accolades for digging this one up...

It has an all-star cast video that can't fail to put a smile on the face of anyone who watched The X Files back in the day - really, watch right through to the end, beyond the song.

That was brilliant.

And the best bit was, the video featured many of my TV heroes... not just Mulder & Scully and Buffy and Gary Shandling and Erik Estrada... but also Dennis Franz, star of the greatest TV series ever made.

Highlight of my week. Thanks, Martin

Side note: Gillian Anderson playing Maggie Thatcher is wrong in so many ways that it makes me hurt.

One broken heart for sale...

4. Flight of the Conchords - The Most Beautiful Girl In The Room

This one haunted me all week.

In my head, I could hear a song where someone goes "Huh - Dave!" in a disparaging voice. I think, however, I was thinking of Bob George by Prince, and projecting a Dave onto it. 

But then I kept thinking: no, no, this is a Flight of the Conchords song - I'm sure of it.

Got there in the end.

And when I saw you at my mate's place
I thought, "What is she doing
At my mate's place?"
How did Dave get a hottie like that to a party like this?
Good one Dave
(You're a legend Dave)

I ask Dave if he's gonna make a move on you
He's not sure
I said "Dave do you mind if I do?"
He says he doesn't mind
But I can tell he kinda minds
But I'm gonna do it anyway 

3. Mo Solid Gold - David's Soul

Featured here previously. A lost gem, also from the 90s. And it's all about the Hutch.

Or, more likely, the time he took on Dirty Harry...

2. Pulp - David's Last Summer.

Sad no one picked this. Charity Chic even featured the album His 'n' Hers last week!

The room smells faintly of sun tan lotion
In the evening sunlight and when you take off your clothes,
You're still wearing a small pale skin bikini.
The sound of children playing in the park comes from faraway,
And time slows down to the speed of the specks of dust
Floating in the light from the window.
Summer leaves fall from Summer trees.
Summer grazes fade on Summer knees.
Summer nights are slowly getting long.
Summer's going so hurry soon it'll be gone.

1. The Jam - David Watts

Martin was first in with this one...

David Watts, either the Kinks original or the Jam cover. Altogether now:

I am a dull and simple lad
Cannot tell water from champagne
And I have never met the Queen
And I wish I could have all he has got
Wish I could be like David Watts

Swiss Adam concurs...

David Watts, has to be. The Jam version as it was the first one I heard.

Me too. And it's one of Sam's favourites too...

Girls names beginning with D?

I've already done the obvious ones...

So let's try something a little more tricky.


Monday 26 October 2020

Positive Songs For Negative Times #31: One Way


Very few students are attending college in person, with most lessons still online. Most staff are also working from home, except those with good reason to be in the building. From Monday to Wednesday (thank god, for my sanity!) that includes me.

I therefore have to navigate the one way system that has now been imposed in the main college building. Enter by one door, leave by another. Follow the arrows to the small classroom I've adopted as an office (most rooms are not in use for teaching and there are restrictions on how many people are allowed in the staff room) then stay in there for the majority of the day, alone, talking to colleagues (even those in the building) mostly through Teams.

If I do leave my room to get a coffee (from inside the building, we're not allowed out "except for a healthy walk"... like we have time!) or to go to the loo, I must put my mask back on and follow the one way system all the way. Getting to the loo is easy -  it's two doors down the corridor. Getting back involves walking all the way round the length of the building in a huge circle. Woe betide anyone who goes against the arrows: one of my colleagues is on disciplinary for doing just that. 

As usual, I record this not to moan or pass judgement... merely for posterity. I know why college has taken these measures and why it is being so harsh in enforcing them. But these are the things we'll forget. And we shouldn't.

Clearly there was only one song to play today...

Sunday 25 October 2020

Saturday Snapshots #160 - The Answers


All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.

Luckily, he took a break this weekend to play Saturday Snapshots.

Here are this week's answers...

10. Ignominious 14th. Righteous Scrooge.

Ignominy is public shame. N is the 14th letter. Shame + N =

The Shamen - Ebeneezer Good

What a silly, silly, silly song. At the time, I hated it, just as I hated all rave culture. Now... weirdly nostalgic of the year I turned twenty.

Alyson has been hobnobbing with the stars again...

The Shamen were originally from Aberdeen and Colin Angus in the picture was a friend of IC2 whose Awesome Mixtape I wrote about last weekend.

9. Mick's Zen octet plays California.

Mick's Zen octet was an anagram. Pretty lazy this week, lots of anagrams.

Lynchie says to check out the b-side...

8. A Harts non-event, 4 prime.

A Harts non-event is an anagram.

Add up the first 4 Prime Numbers... 2 + 3 + 5 + 7 = 17.

7. Caviar in a spin. 

Caviar is fish eggs / roe.

6. Stop trying to find fault, like Tom The Duck.

Tom Jones + Howard The Duck...

C said that Howard Jones looks better now... I actually think he sounds better now. I was never that fussed at the time, but now I find these decent enough pop songs.

5. Coo-lumbo, Sherlock Homing and Agent Coop-er remove a lady's rear.   

I'm not the world's biggest fan of the Pigeon Detectives, but sometimes the clue is too good to avoid...

4. Asda clothes take the mick, with a coral... um... hang on, hang on... I'll finish this clue in a minute...

George at Asda takes the Michael. With a reef... er...

3. Kate & Fred love them. Hahahaha!

Kate Pierson & Fred Schneider are in the B-52s. Who sang about a Love Shack

2. Beautiful baptism bowl, full of potassium. 

Beautiful baptism bowl would be a bella font... 

Bananas are full of potassium.

Whenever I hear that, I can't help but think of the Stan Freberg version...

1. Bother not, between the roads.

Bother not was an anagram

Between the roads is the central reservation.

As shown in this lovely video...

If you think this is As Good As It Gets... wait till next Saturday!

Saturday 24 October 2020

Saturday Snapshots #160


Welcome back to Saturday Snapshots - the quiz that has No Mercy. Hopefully you won't find this week's answers too (L.A.) Confidential... or have to go 8 Mile to find them.

Terrible puns all, but I'm saving the best / obvious one for the end of the post.

Anyway, you didn't come here for the puns (well, apart from Alyson), you came here for the clues... 

10. Ignominious 14th. Righteous Scrooge.

9. Mick's Zen octet plays California.

8. A Harts non-event, 4 prime.

7. Caviar in a spin. 

6. Stop trying to find fault, like Tom The Duck.

5. Coo-lumbo, Sherlock Homing and Agent Coop-er remove a lady's rear.   

4. Asda clothes take the mick, with a coral... um... hang on, hang on... I'll finish this clue in a minute...

3. Kate & Fred love them. Hahahaha!

2. Beautiful baptism bowl, full of potassium. 

1. Bother not, between the roads.

Fortunately, you won't have to wait 9 ½ weeks for the answer - they'll be here tomorrow morning. 

Friday 23 October 2020

No Shame Fridays #1


I'm not saying this is going become a regular feature. We'll see how it goes down. I suspect it will go down really, really badly... in which case, I might well make it into a regular feature.

I had no idea who Rex Smith was until Tuesday night when I was watching a Robert Palmer video on youtube and found Rex in my side bar. I've no idea why that would be, as Rex is about as far from Robert Palmer as Ozzy Osborne is, but I suspect it's more to do with my youtube browsing history that the site now randomly picks some truly awful things to throw my way.

Except, this isn't awful.

Those of you who like the original will hate it. (But then, I like the original...)

Those of you who are too cool for school will hate it. (But then, remember the original mantra of this blog: irk the musos!)

Those of you with a soft spot for Rachel Sweet may well secretly like it, but just pretend to hate it because that's the cool thing to do.

Those of you with no shame at all though...?

Apparently, Rex Smith was a teen heart throb in the states. Apparently he played Jesse Mach in Streethawk, which I vaguely remember watching... but it was no Airwolf or Manimal. Apparently he was also the first actor to play the Marvel superhero Daredevil in The Trial of the Incredible Hulk. Which, despite being a huge Marvel fan, and the fact that I owe a lot of that to Bill Bixby, I have never seen. 

Apparently this was a Top 40 hit in the UK in 1981... but I'll be damned if I remember it.

Anyway, put your cool on hold and enjoy the cheese. Because they don't make pop videos or pop songs like this anymore... but they really ought to do!

Also, if you ever wondered where Survivor got the riff from Eye of the Tiger from...

Thursday 22 October 2020

My Top Ten Social Distancing Songs


Step back, please. As we all head back into lockdown, it's time to social distance in song...

10. The Police - Don't Stand So Close To Me

Let's start with the obvious one, eh?

All the girls in Mr. Sting's class fancied their teacher.

9. Hall & Oates - So Close

A mismatched romance, contained one of the great lyrical couplets to describe such an inequality...

He fell like a rock, 
She kinda liked him.

But as for being relevant to our current predicament, try this...

We believe in tomorrow, though we're stuck in today.
Baby we're so close, so close, yet so far away.

8. Dire Straits - So Far Away

I'm tired of bein' in love and bein' all alone
When you're so far away from me
I'm tired of makin' out on the telephone
'Cause you're so far away from me

Bonus track with the same title...

Stephen Duffy - So Far Away

When I was a young, young man
Back in the Twentieth Century
Well, you made your own amusements then
Flying to the moon

The benefit of hindsight
Is always black and white
There always were contrasting ways
To help you through the night
From bright morning star to morning sun

But they are so far away
That I won’t even ask them to stay

7. Richard Thompson - Keep Your Distance

Keep your distance, keep your distance
When I feel you close to me what can I do but fall
Keep your distance, oh keep your distance
With us it must be all or none at all

6. Suzanne Vega - Solitude Standing

Solitude stands in the doorway
And I'm struck once again by her black silhouette
By her long cool stare and her silence
I suddenly remember each time we've met

5. Astrid - Distance

Now that you're far away
I can feel the distance
They say it's only fresh air
But I can feel the distance
And the sun always shines
When you walk my way
Baby, I wonder
Is it sunny with you today?

4. Bruce Springsteen - You Can Look (But You Better Not Touch)

Mess around and you'll end up in dutch, boy

3. Justin Currie - You Will Always Walk Alone

Lying asleep at night under the watching ceiling light
Safe in the fortress of your home
Remember you'll always walk alone

2. The Temptations - I Can't Get Next To You

Can turn the grey sky blue
I can make it rain, whenever I want it to, oh I
I can build a castle from a single grain of sand
I can make a ship sail, on dry land tell 'em yeah
But my life is incomplete and I'm so blue
'Cause I can't get next to you

1. The Georgia Satellites - Keep Your Hands To Yourself

Still one of the great unsung rock 'n' roll songs...

No hug-ee, no kiss-ee... glad I'm not dating in lockdown.

If you want to leave a suggestion in the comments box, make sure it's at least two metres from anyone else's.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...