In my ongoing quest to make this blog reflect the world outside our window, Saturday Snapshots will be wearing facemasks this week. I think it's fair to say that none of the answers this week will feature conspiracy theorist mask-denying nuts like Noel Gallagher, Ian Brown or Van Morrison.
Who's behind the mask and what is their song?
10. SOS! No jest! Infatuated with a lad!
9. Who let him out? He can't even remember his own identity!
8. Pervy haircut? It'll all be OK the day after tomorrow.
7. Offspring of red-breasted piper tunes through the static to get a clearer signal.
It seems impossible, after everything that has happened in the past 4 years, that Trump will be re-elected next Tuesday. But it seemed impossible that he'd be elected in the first place. And it seems impossible that he hasn't been impeached and thrown in jail a long time ago. It seems impossible than anyone would still vote for him.
He's a demagogue Check out his rise He's a demagogue He's fatally famous He's a demagogue He plays with my fears A demagogue My shadow side dreaming The demagogue It feels so good to be dumb
From the wall straight to la cuenta Those pussy grabbing fingers Won't let go of me now Demagogue The demagogue
He's coming down the escalator With a girl from east of here He wants to make the country greater We've got nothing left to fear
Because the man in the tin foil hat Is sitting on the throne tonight It kinda feels like a coup d'etat But it's gonna be great, tremendous, amazing and all that
'Cause the man in the tin foil hat Is tweeting like a teenage girl He puts the Pluto in plutocrat But it's gonna be a huge huge huge new world He hasn't got the time for losers Unless they do as he commands He's writing checks to his accusers With those tiny little hands
'Cause the man in the tin foil hat Is gonna drain the swamp tonight And fill it up with alternative facts And it's gonna be great, tremendous, amazing and all that
Oh and I don't believe in the devil But you might make me go and change my mind You can see this whole damn world get leveled and not even lose track of time Inside your gilded walls that shine
Well another group of kids in high schools dead But you're still at your golf course teeing off at nine People marching in the streets trying to find a little peace You sit around spouting awful shit online
Well you've always been the same You ain't ever gonna change But I know it's gonna all catch up with you in time And there's a pot of gold from all the dreams you stole Inside your gilded walls that shine
On May 11th 1930, Mary Anne Macleod, from Tong on The Isle of Lewis, boarded the RMS Transylvania from Glasgow to New York City, in search of a better life. There, she fell in love with Frederick, whose father had come to America from Germany as a 16 year old barber.
The couple raised five children.
Mary Anne’s middle son would return years later to Scotland, home of his MacLeod ancestors, whose clan motto is: I burn but I am not consumed. And here - in the name of progress and profit - and executive golf - he would pit himself against time and tide. In his wake, the shifting sands at Balmedie in Aberdeenshire would never be the same.
That son of Mary Anne MacLeod is powerful.
So too is The North Sea.
The marbled, metamorphic rock of Lewis is two-thirds the age of Earth - amongst the very oldest found on our planet. It knows about power. It’s seen a lot. And so I wondered: what might that rock of Lewis have to say about the Inauguration - tomorrow in Washington DC - of the 45th President of the United States of America - Mary Anne’s middle son? This is what the rock told me.
Everyone has a friend called Dave, right? I actually have two. Though I don't see them that much anymore. (Let's face it: I don't see anybody that much anymore.)
Very few suggestions this week for a famous David to illustrate our Top Ten. I wonder why?
I hope not after that dreadful suggestion,George replied.
Now I don't always agree with George (who does?), but I find myself having to here. Beyond ruining early Springsteen songs, if this if the Earth Band's great claim to fame, they should have stuck with counting backwards from 5. It's not a bad song, I just can't get past the opening couplet...
Davy's on the road again Wearing different clothes again
I mean, I should hope so.
But wait, before I get too mean about Manfred Mann's Earth Band... here's Lynchie...
I knew Dave Flett of "Davy's On The Road Again" fame.
I keep telling you, mate, even though Guest Post Thursday appears to have run out of gas, the door is always open for more of your stories. You could at least tell us if he wore different clothes every time he went out on the road.
I remember you liked the Scars' track I put on over at my place recently, so wonder if you'll like another song from the same album - perfectly titled... as you might imagine... 'David'!
Good work, C, though a little too angular and spikey for my ageing lugs. I preferred All About You. That may well feature on this blog one day soon.
Here's Rigid Digit, with what seems like it should be an obvious choice. Except...
Both from Morrissey's best-forgotten "let's take the piss out of chavs" phase. Still, we look back on that with fond nostalgia given his most recent phases.
It's worth pointing out too that Moz wasn't the first person to use that particular Dave in a song title...
Also recorded by Bob Dylan. Which only goes to show that we're missing The Swede this week. I hope he's OK.
Now to Canada, where Douglas is basking in the glory of getting one of his countrymen into last week's Top Ten...
...and may I just mention that Colter Wall has a fantastic track called "Me And Big Dave", wherein he absolutely sounds nothing whatsoever like a person in his 20's but everything like the embodiment of what is deep, soulful and great about country music in the Cash-like vein? Can the young Canadian rank two weeks in a row, perhaps clawing his way deeper in the Top Ten?
And if that is not your thing, the Trash Can Sinatras once again have a contender, with the raucous and ebullient b-side (gawsh, they save some of the best for the flip sides, don't they?) entitled "Ask Davy". According to legend, when the as-yet-untitled track was being readied for release, the record exec types came to hassle the band abound the small matter of a title for the song before going to press. The band, sorely pressed, tried to brush off the corporate pedants by steering them for suggestions to the usually forthcoming bassist, Davy Hughes....and that is how the track came to qualify for this week's Top Ten...
We'll start with this from Lynchie, because I'm a sucker for this kind of Bonnie & Clyde story song. (I should do a Top Ten of them.) And I doubt we'll ever get around to a Top Ten Trudy Songs.
Well, Trudy and Dave, those crazy kids
Had a baby of their own, and you heard what they did
In the middle of a strip mall shots rang out
Shots heard all over the world, no doubt
'Cause it was there in the paper the very next day
'Bout a couple and a baby and a Chevrolet
Who shot up an automatic teller machine
Took the money for the laundry and drove away clean
If you ever do "Ethel" songs, can I suggested John Hiatt's Ethylene?
Good call, Lynchie. Though I'm probably more likely to do the Trudy Top Ten. I mean, I bet Sting has a bunch of those I could take the piss out of use.
Covered by everyone and his dog, this is the original, and it reminds me of my childhood... despite the fact I never saw the TV show. Pop culture stuck around a lot longer back then.
Martin wins great accolades for digging this one up...
It has an all-star cast video that can't fail to put a smile on the face of anyone who watched The X Files back in the day - really, watch right through to the end, beyond the song.
That was brilliant.
And the best bit was, the video featured many of my TV heroes... not just Mulder & Scully and Buffy and Gary Shandling and Erik Estrada... but also Dennis Franz, star of the greatest TV series ever made.
Highlight of my week. Thanks, Martin.
Side note: Gillian Anderson playing Maggie Thatcher is wrong in so many ways that it makes me hurt.
In my head, I could hear a song where someone goes "Huh - Dave!" in a disparaging voice. I think, however, I was thinking of Bob George by Prince, and projecting a Dave onto it.
But then I kept thinking: no, no, this is a Flight of the Conchords song - I'm sure of it.
Got there in the end.
And when I saw you at my mate's place
I thought, "What is she doing
At my mate's place?"
How did Dave get a hottie like that to a party like this?
Very few students are attending college in person, with most lessons still online. Most staff are also working from home, except those with good reason to be in the building. From Monday to Wednesday (thank god, for my sanity!) that includes me.
I therefore have to navigate the one way system that has now been imposed in the main college building. Enter by one door, leave by another. Follow the arrows to the small classroom I've adopted as an office (most rooms are not in use for teaching and there are restrictions on how many people are allowed in the staff room) then stay in there for the majority of the day, alone, talking to colleagues (even those in the building) mostly through Teams.
If I do leave my room to get a coffee (from inside the building, we're not allowed out "except for a healthy walk"... like we have time!) or to go to the loo, I must put my mask back on and follow the one way system all the way. Getting to the loo is easy - it's two doors down the corridor. Getting back involves walking all the way round the length of the building in a huge circle. Woe betide anyone who goes against the arrows: one of my colleagues is on disciplinary for doing just that.
As usual, I record this not to moan or pass judgement... merely for posterity. I know why college has taken these measures and why it is being so harsh in enforcing them. But these are the things we'll forget. And we shouldn't.
C said that Howard Jones looks better now... I actually think he sounds better now. I was never that fussed at the time, but now I find these decent enough pop songs.
5. Coo-lumbo, Sherlock Homing and Agent Coop-er remove a lady's rear.
I'm not the world's biggest fan of the Pigeon Detectives, but sometimes the clue is too good to avoid...
Welcome back to Saturday Snapshots - the quiz that has No Mercy. Hopefully you won't find this week's answers too (L.A.) Confidential... or have to go 8 Mile to find them.
Terrible puns all, but I'm saving the best / obvious one for the end of the post.
Anyway, you didn't come here for the puns (well, apart from Alyson), you came here for the clues...
10. Ignominious 14th. Righteous Scrooge.
9. Mick's Zen octet plays California.
8. A Harts non-event, 4 prime.
7. Caviar in a spin.
6. Stop trying to find fault, like Tom The Duck.
5. Coo-lumbo, Sherlock Homing and Agent Coop-er remove a lady's rear.
4. Asda clothes take the mick, with a coral... um... hang on, hang on... I'll finish this clue in a minute...
3. Kate & Fred love them. Hahahaha!
2. Beautiful baptism bowl, full of potassium.
1. Bother not, between the roads.
Fortunately, you won't have to wait 9 ½ weeks for the answer - they'll be here tomorrow morning.
I'm not saying this is going become a regular feature. We'll see how it goes down. I suspect it will go down really, really badly... in which case, I might well make it into a regular feature.
I had no idea who Rex Smith was until Tuesday night when I was watching a Robert Palmer video on youtube and found Rex in my side bar. I've no idea why that would be, as Rex is about as far from Robert Palmer as Ozzy Osborne is, but I suspect it's more to do with my youtube browsing history that the site now randomly picks some truly awful things to throw my way.
Except, this isn't awful.
Those of you who like the original will hate it. (But then, I like the original...)
Those of you who are too cool for school will hate it. (But then, remember the original mantra of this blog: irk the musos!)
Those of you with a soft spot for Rachel Sweet may well secretly like it, but just pretend to hate it because that's the cool thing to do.
Those of you with no shame at all though...?
Apparently, Rex Smith was a teen heart throb in the states. Apparently he played Jesse Mach in Streethawk, which I vaguely remember watching... but it was no Airwolf or Manimal. Apparently he was also the first actor to play the Marvel superhero Daredevil in The Trial of the Incredible Hulk. Which, despite being a huge Marvel fan, and the fact that I owe a lot of that to Bill Bixby, I have never seen.
Apparently this was a Top 40 hit in the UK in 1981... but I'll be damned if I remember it.
Anyway, put your cool on hold and enjoy the cheese. Because they don't make pop videos or pop songs like this anymore... but they really ought to do!
Also, if you ever wondered where Survivor got the riff from Eye of the Tiger from...
Now, I have to admit I get a bit rankled by Talk Talk, so when my millennial hipster politico friend, Ben, also suggested this one, I might have snapped.
You're not part of that whole "Spirit of Eden is the greatest album in the history of recorded music" conspiracy, are you? (Both Guy Garvey and Huey Morgan are among the disciples of this particular cult.)
My millennial hipster politico friend, Ben, replied:
It's a key album in the development of post-rock music. The blueprints are there but I don't think they knew what to do with it properly.
This turned into a whole argument with me railing against the very concept of "post rock" and Ben quoting Mogwai and post-metal and Math rock and me saying I'd rather listen to Twisted Sister. It got ugly. But there are worse ways to spend a Friday afternoon.
She's still thinking about this when the bus goes passed caroline lee's house where there was a party last week. There were some german exchange students there who were very mature; they all ended up jumping out of the bedroom window. One of them tried to get her to kiss him on the stairs, so she kicked him. Later she was sick because she drunk too much cider. Caroline was drunk as well; she was pretending she was married to a tall boy in glasses, and she had to wear a polo-neck for three days afterwards to cover up the love-bite on her neck.
That was a very strong contender, partly because it scratches my "short stories in songs" itch and partly because it was the first Pulp song I ever fell in love with. But I guess I had to save it for Our Top Ten Susan Songs.
My name is Caroline Cell phone number here, call if you have the time Twenty-eight and bored, grieving over loss Sorry to be heavy, but heavy is the cost Heavy is the cost
Which, if I ever get round to completing it, will be a strong contender for Number One in My Top Ten Lonely Hearts Column Songs. Although it will obviously be up again Rupert Holmes.
Also on the lyrical side of things, strong calls from Walter...
I am enthused to be able to introduce you to another strong Canadian contender here!
If your willing to stretch out a little into the Country realm (as I believe by your other selections you are on occasion) my collection yields up the somewhat shocking voice of Colter Wall, from Saskatchewan (that's prairie town, Canada style if you are not up on your Canadian geography, the heart of Canadian Country music). A little test? See if you too, like the Proclaimers, "can say "Saskatchewan" without starting to stutter..." Anyway, give a listen to his song "Caroline" from 2015, and see if you can believe that the lad had barely turned 20 at the time of recording that song.
No, he certainly doesn't sound 20. I have heard Ricky Ross playing Colter on his Radio Scotland Country show, but I hadn't heard this one. It's utterly bewitching though. Thanks, Douglas.
Can't argue with this suggestion from John Medd. How many other songs can you think of where the roses smell like poo poo?
Caroline (Caroline) Caroline All the guys would say she's mighty fine (mighty fine) But mighty fine only got you somewhere half the time And the other half either got you cussed out, or coming up short
Born in the very same year Alive at a similar time It gave me something small that I could feel That maybe as you grew, you knew how I'd feel And Caroline and I knew how you'd feel Rattled through our teenage years Battled and loved who we fought The first time you left home on your own I knew A little bit of you is gone when you do And Caroline and I well we grew, well that's true Caroline and I
You've beaten me to it C, as that was the song I would have suggested. I think I discovered it from one of the other blogs a couple of years ago and was blown away it - there isa great YouTube clipwith loads of '60s/'70s scenes in black and white which brings always brings on an overwhelming sense of nostalgia when I watch it: just matches the sound of the song so well.
Spot on C, an absolute beauty. Another Robert Wyatt tune at least partially inspired by Caroline Coon (as well as Carla Bley and Marsha Hunt) is 'To Carla, Marsha and Caroline(For Making Everything Beautifuller)' from his 1970 LP 'The End of an Ear'. Not sure if Rol will allow that though.
That may bend the Song For Whoever rule, Swede, but it is quite lovely. Matching Mole for the win though... if only there weren't such stiff competition this week.
Martin and Rigid Digit both picked this for Number One. I respect that. But sometimes there's just no competition.
Now I lie here with you, can't get her out my head
Do you think she knows that you share my bed
Well, I don't want to see Caroline
Don't want to see her face when she finds out you're mine
How could a friend be so unkind
Well, I don't want to see Caroline
1. Neil Diamond - Sweet Caroline
There are those of you who may not like Sweet Caroline, and I don't often say this, because everyone is entitled to their opinion and it's all subjective and opinions are like arseholes... but you're wrong.