I've not read any of the Ronnie Spector obituaries, but I imagine they'll all centre on Be My Baby, her turbulent marriage to Phil, her battle with alcoholism, and maybe that Christmas album.
I'm not sure how many of them will call her the Godmother of New York punk, but I reckon there's a very strong argument for that case. There's a reason the Ramones wanted to work with Phil Spector, and I don't think it had anything to do with the Wall of Sound (which was largely absent from their collaboration anyway). I reckon it's because of the Noo Yawk attitude Ronnie brought to those early discs, and that had very little to do with Phil. You can hear it on her solo stuff too, and though a collaboration with the E Street Band on a Billy Joel song is far more New Jersey than New York... well, it's only across the river.
Billy wrote this as a Ronnie Spector tribute, so he must have been made up when she recorded it.
Far more column inches would be devoted to Phil Spector's musical legacy this week... had the rest of his life been so filled with ignominy.
How often do you get to use a word like ignominy? The chance to do so was the final tipping point in my decision to compile this Top Ten. Little Stevie Van Zandt put it best earlier this week...
RIP Phil Spector. A genius irredeemably conflicted, he was the ultimate example of the Art always being better than the Artist, having made some of the greatest records in history based on the salvation of love while remaining incapable of giving or receiving love his whole life.
Let's put aside Spector the man and remember instead some of his finest creations...
A much-derided album, described by Rolling Stone as "the world's most flamboyant extrovert producing and arranging the world's most fatalist introvert" and by Leonard Cohen himself as "grotesque". It's not among my favourite Lenny records and parts of it plain don't work, but the title track (and a couple of others) are mesmerising if you devote enough time to them.
Some people don't like this song because of the whole "Krishna, Krishna" bit. Others call to attention the court case where Harrison was sued for "subconsciously" ripping off He's So Fine by The Chiffons. But people are generally wrong, I find, and this song never grows old.
The forgotten entry in Spector's back catalogue, yet still achingly beautiful. I remember reading a review of this album when it was re-issued in 2001, hunting it down and falling head over heels in love.
If aliens picked up transmissions from earth and these two songs were what they heard, they'd leave us alone because clearly we are a superior civilization.
Imagine having these three songs in your back catalogue and not being as big a household name as The Beatles, The Stones or David Bowie? There is no justice in the world.
My hearing aid isn't that powerful. Then again, I reckon The Move might have been augmenting more than just their ears...
My head's attracted to A magnetic wave of sound With the streams of coloured circles Makin' their way around.
You may prefer the version by The Fall, of course. If you can make head or tail of it. I certainly can't. Everyone needs a hearing aid to understand Mark E. Smith's vocals.
1. The Beach Boys - I Can Hear Music It couldn't have been anything else at Number One, could it?
A Jeff Barry song, originally recorded by Phil Spector with The Ronettes, this was Carl Wilson's first taste of being the Beach Boys' boss while Brian was off being bored... or "listening to the grass grow". If anyone ever tells you Brian was the only genius in the Beach Boys, play them this...
What's your favourite hearing aid song?
I SAID "WHAT'S YOUR FAVOURITE HEARING AID SONG?!?"
For Mash, get... ten songs that will make you want to do the mashed potato...
Although the Top 3 is inevitable, this may well be the most mashed-up Top Ten I've ever compiled, genre-wise. I'm not too proud to say I Love It.
This week's post is dedicated to jjdaddyo (sorry, jj, I don't have a
link anymore since blogger deleted my bloglist a while back: if you still have a blog, let me know where it is) who recommended our
opening tune for the second volume of My Top Ten Supermarket Songs a few weeks back. It would have fit in well there... but it fits even better here.
As
previously discussed, there are by now very few subjects Neil Young
hasn't written a song about, but this is out-there even by his
standards. 9 and a quarter minutes of Neil complaining that he's only
got mashed potato: no T-bone. From 1981's Re-Ac-Tor album, not one of his most critically-acclaimed records. I doubt he gives a shit what the critics think. I
hope he eventually got his T-bone.
There are a number of records on this Top Ten (as well as a bunch more I didn't have room for) which refer to the Mashed Potato dance craze of the early 60s. This is the one that does so most directly, originally recorded by Dee Dee Sharp, it was re-recorded by the Ronettes under Phil Spector, who then credited it to The Crystals once the Ronettes had split up. That Phil Spector, eh? What a genius / maniac / tool.
From
the superb 1994 album, How To Make Friends & Influence People,
Terrorvision cheekily steal the mashed potato lyrics from this week's
Number One and slip them effortlessly into this superfly guitar stomper
which confirms them as Bradford's finest rock band.
We should be hot as a couple of hot tomatoes But you're as cold as yesterday's mashed potatoes...
Written by Jerome Kern and lyricist Dorothy Fields for the Fred Astaire / Ginger Rogers movie Swing Time, this will be more familiar to anyone of a certain age as the theme tune to an 80s ITV sitcom starring Judi Dench and Michael Williams. That version was sung by Dame Judi herself, but the problem with it was, as the rhyme above shows, this is a song that should only ever be sung by Americans... because no matter what Fred & Ginger sang in Let's Call The Whole Thing Off... nobody, British or American, ever says "po-taa-toes".
So we'll stick with Ella and Louis, because you can't beat them. Or mash them.
One of the best tracks from Eminem's 2013 comeback album, Marshall Mathers 2, this is built around the chorus to Joe Walsh's Life's Been Good and features the usual First World whinging about how hard it is to be a white, rich rap star. Luckily, Eminem understands the irony of this and... damn it, say what you like Eminem, but dude can rhyme...
Can't pump my gas without causin' an accident
Pump my gas, cut my grass, I can't take out the fuckin' trash
Without someone passin' through my sub harassin'
I'd count my blessings but I suck at math
I'd rather wallow than bask, suffering succotash, but the ant-
Acid it gives my stomach gas
When I mix my corn with my fuckin' mashed
Potatoes, so what hoe kiss my country bumpkin ass
Missouri southern roots, what the fuck is upper class?
There are some mashed potatoes in there if you look for them.
Oh boy, I'd forgotten how much I loved this. It's so easy to remember Kurt Cobain for the tragedy, the reluctant artist stuff, the end... so easy to forget this guy had one hell of a sense of humour too. Occasionally. Here, his mum and dad leave him at grandma's house while they go to a show and he has to eat her mashed potato and can't chew his meat too good.
I was amused to discover though that the song's original 1962 recording, by New Orleans r 'n' b man Chris Kenner, didn't feature any nanas at all though. They were added three years later in a version by Cannibal & The Headhunters. But it was Wilson who took all those nas to another level.
That said, it's interesting to hear what Jimi Hendrix and Patti Smith do with this song too.
Of course, the Mobile Army Surgical Hospital had very little to do with mashed spuds... but then, as already discussed, very few songs on this list are actually about potatoes.
Interesting story behind this one. Robert Altman, director of the original M.A.S.H. movie wanted a song called 'Suicide Is Painless' to feature in a key scene of the movie... and specifically wanted its lyrics to be duff: "the stupidest song ever written". He tried to write those lyrics himself but couldn't get them stupid enough... so he gave the task to his 14 year-old son Michael, who wrote them in 5 minutes... and became a millionaire in the process. Not too stupid then, eh, Robert?
The thing is, there's a thin line between stupid and profound, and in the context of the film... and certainly the TV show that followed, using this song as its theme tune... this nonsense suddenly began to feel very profound indeed. I loved M.A.S.H. when I was a teen, not so much the Altman version, but certainly the Alan Alda show. I was one of the hundred million plus viewers who tuned in to the final episode and sobbed when this song played out for its final time. Stupid, yeah.
I found it impossible to choose between the original and the Manics' 1992 cover version, released as a charity single, double A-sided with the Fatima Mansions' cover of Bryan Adams' Everything I Do, I Do It For You. (Punctuation note: it's not often you see a sentence that contains three apostrophes after the s like that. Sorry, English teacher geeking out here.) James Dean Bradfield's guitar and vocal suit this song perfectly. Sadly, it would become a little too prophetic for another member of the band though...
1. The Contours - Do You Love Me?
You broke my heart 'Cos I couldn't dance You didn't even want me around But now I'm back To let you know I can Really Shake 'em down
Another one featuring that ridiculous mashed potato dance step. Originally written for The Temptations, who'd done a runner that day, so Berry Gordy gave it to The Contours instead when he bumped into them in the Motown corridor. It was their only real hit: but what a hit.
Of course, being of a certain age, my first exposure to this song was in Dirty Dancing. I was 16 when that film his video in the UK. It was regular Friday night viewing, at least when Ferris Bueller's Day Off (or Friday the 13th... I was a complex child) was unavailable for rental at the local video shop.
Personally, I prefer roasties, jackets or chips. But if you've got to have your potatoes mashed, I don't think you can deny the tastiness of this Top 10. Any favourites I missed out?
Let's get the obvious one out of the way first, shall we? I love the Beach Boys. Most days, I'd rather listen to them than The Beatles, The Stones and most other 60s bands. I don't think it's hyperbole to call Brain Wilson a godlike genius. But there are times when... well, the drugs don't quite work.
If you brought a big brown bag of them home, I'd jump up and down and hope you'd toss me a carrot.
I've linked to the original version of this song (titled Vega-Tables) above because it features Paul McCartney's greatest ever performance... chewing a stick of celery as percussion.
I know that you'll feel better When you send us in Your letter and Tell us the name of your... Your favourite vegetable.
Off the back of this recording, Brian decided to open a health food shop in Hollywood called The Radiant Radish. It didn't last. For more non-specific vegetable tracks, see Radiohead's Vegetable and Joshua Radin's not particularly sporty Vegetable Car.
Typically jangly fun from the Fannies - not sure what it's got to do with cabbages. Maybe that's all they had in their vegetable rack the day they wrote it.
Recorded by The Ronettes, credited to The Crystals when included on their 1963 Greatest Hits album. That Phil Spector, eh? What a git. Made some cool records though.
Pavement's biggest UK hit, though it wasn't released as a single anywhere else.
Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to work out just what the hell Malkmus and co. are going on about here. Personally, I think it's something dodgy...
Ah, you're saying, but Rol... a tomato is a fruit! Right? Hmm. Depends who you ask. According to this fascinating article in National Geographic, the American Supreme Court ruled that “tomatoes are the fruit of the vine, just as are cucumbers, squashes, beans and peas", whereas the EU have decided that "carrots, sweet potatoes and... tomatoes" are all fruits. But, I'm sorry, if tomatoes are the same as carrots and peas, I think I'll stick with my original rule: if I eat it for pudding, it's a fruit. And I don't eat tomatoes for pudding, so...
On her recent "hit" Dead Fox, Courteney Barnett goes into some detail about her vegetable-buying habits...
Jen insists that we buy organic vegetables And I must admit that I was a little skeptical at first A little pesticide can't hurt Never having too much money, I get the cheap stuff at the supermarket But they're all pumped up with the s**t A friend told me that they stick nicotine in the apples
Prior to this, she released Canned Tomatoes... which has rather less to do with vegetables, from what I can make out.
Andy Partridge's timeless ode to the good guys who fall foul of shadowy conspiracies...
Peter Pumpkinhead put to shame Governments who would slur his name Plots and sex scandals failed outright Peter merely said any kind of love is all right
Nigel Blackwell sees sinister intent behind the most innocuous of hand-written country road signs.
“This-a-way For New Potatoes” An arrow points innocently Dirt track to a darker place That’s what it says to me “Last Chance For Hanging Baskets” They’re even giving you clues! “Fresh Broad Beans and Aubergines” Euphemisms, Audrey, euphemisms!
Beyond that, we get the usual unrelated moments of observational genius, most notably...
We all knew someone at primary school Who had a very powerful magnet
There's a very serious message in this song, however: a dire warning for the unsuspecting motorist...
So stay alert on the minor roads Remember Phyllis Triggs Oooh! Rhubarb! Lets go! She’s still not been accounted for
Dan le Sac does not make my kind of music at all. Blippy bloppy dance music - car alarms mixed with electronic belches and drum machines. I'm too old for this shit.
It says something then for the razor sharp lyrical prowess of the
awesome Scroobius Pip that I rate this (and anything else the pair
release together) so highly.
I fell in love with a girl from the city Still got cauliflower ears from when her voice first hit me And a swollen lip, from when her lyrics first kissed me And when I went to pull back ever so gently bit me I still hear her sometimes but it's not the same Like when you get a pen and paper and write your name Over and over and over again Although it hasn't, in the end it somehow seems to change
You see, that's not just songwriting. It's poetry. And I'm an English teacher, so I know a little bit about that.
The video's brilliant too.
1. Booker T & The M.G.s - Green Onions
It's not often you'll find an instrumental topping one of my Top Tens, but it's not often you hear an instrumental as perfect as Green Onions. The crisp drums, creeping bassline, sharp stabs of Steve Cropper's guitar - and, of course, Booker T.'s indolent organ... no vocalist could have improved upon this. Some debate over whether they called the track Green Onions as a reference to marijuana, their mate's cat or just because Booker didn't like green onions and wanted to throw them all in the bin. In the end, it's better we don't know the truth.
