Here's the last of my three science lessons... for the time being. I may get the test tubes out again at a later date. If I still have any readers after this one...
10. Brook Benton - I Don't Know Enough About You
Brook knows a little bit about biology...
9. Girls Aloud - Biology
Since both JC and Jez have come out as Girls Aloud fans, I think I can probably get away with this.
Yeah, musos: deal with it!
8. John Cougar - American Dream
Taken from his 1976 debut album, which was before he started using his real name after the Cougar (and long before he dropped the Cougar altogether). I like the way he sings bi-ol-ogeee on this one.
7. Vic Chestnutt - Arthur Murray
Contains the line: "emasculate me with your biology"... but that's not the only reason you should listen to it. The rest of the lyrics are pretty brilliant too.
6. OPM - Heaven Is A Halfpipe
It stands for Other People's Minds, apparently. I loved this back in the year of 2000AD. Which is odd, because I never set foot on a skateboard. (Oh, she skips biology to do that. In case you were wondering.)
5. Joe Jackson - Biology
So when Joe gets caught out for cheating on his girlfriend "with some whore out in Germany", he blames it all on biology. He goes on to give her a very detailed lesson in Biology...
Her reply is classic:
She said, "thanks4. The Smiths - I Want The One I Can't Have
I'm so relieved
What you're saying I can well believe
Now I know, I feel no shame
About Dave and Tony and Phil and James,"
"Baby baby this can't be true!"
She said, "well what's right for you
Has to be
Right for me
In any case I'm sure you'll see
It's nothing to do with our hearts
It's nothing to do with our heads
It's nothing to do with our homes
It's nothing to do with our beds
It's just be-I-O-L-O-G-why..."
On the day that your mentality...pop round and see Morrissey, because he wants the one he can't have... and it's driving him MAD!
Decides to try to catch up with your biology...
3. Sam Cooke - Wonderful World
History, Biology, French... Sam doesn't know much about any of them, and he certainly doesn't claim to be an A student. (Don't even start me on that, Sam, as someone teaching the new GCSE this year... there are no more As: just grades 1-9, which nobody - and I mean NOBODY - understands. Thank you, Michael Gove.)
Still, Sam does know how to make it a Wonderful World. Just play this tune...
2. Billy Bragg - The Warmest Room
Yes, Billy Bragg, at Number 2, again. Last week he shared his qualifications, this week he regrets never taking Biology. I didn't take Biology either, Billy. I hated the teacher. (Or she hated me.) I dropped it after the Third Year...
I wish I'd done BiologyAlso contains the following gem from brother Barry...
For an urge within me wanted to do it then...
My wife has three great attributes:1. The Bloodhound - The Bad Touch
A Swiss Army Knife
The first track I thought of when I started planning this Top Ten. Makes Girls Aloud sound like Shostakovich.
At heart, approximately 75% of pop songs convey this same message... usually with a little more finesse.
I have nothing else to add.