With lead singer Paul Simons (note the extra S... so not that one), our next Them came from Cincinnati in 1962, naming themselves after the movie at the top of the page. They were originally called The Toquays, but changed to Them before Van Morrison's lot got big... after which they went by "It's Them" and TTHHEEMM. They went their separate ways in '67.
"Angry Young Them", formed in Belfast in 1963 by Van The Man and his mates... although Mr. Morrison left Them in 1966 to plough his solo path. Originally known as The Gamblers, though they too chose the name Them in homage to the 50s horror movie.
Them had only two big UK hits: Baby, Please Don't Go and Here Comes The Night... though arguably their most famous tune was the b-side Gloria which was later covered by the Doors, Patti Smith and Jimi Hendrix. As a live band they were famous for going jazz and improvving around their songs, stretching them out and taking them in different directions every night.
Last weekend, Louise and I had a bit of an argument. It wasn't a particularly important one, just one of the hundreds of squabbles most human beings living under the same roof as other human beings will subject themselves to over the course of the year. I can't even remember what it was about now, but at the time I was livid.
I'm kinda putting off tackling the subject of anger in this series, because it's a huge kettle of anchovies. I'm avoiding it because it looks like it'll be hard work... and those of you who read last week's post will realise that's rather counter-productive of me. Hey, I'm not claiming to be following my own advice all the time - take your "physician, heal thyself" comments and stick them where the sun don't shine.
Anyway, after the argument, I took myself off to stew in the living room. I hate any kind of disagreement, so will take the first opportunity to run away and do whatever I can to avoid it starting up again. This will usually involve not discussing the subject of the argument or anything else for as long as possible, since any form of communication might re-trigger the aggro. Some people might call this sulking. I prefer to term it Crisis Management.
After about a minute though, Louise came to find me. "Here we go again," I thought, at which point Louise said...
"Are you finding those new tuna tins hard to drain? I find they leave a ring and you have to press down and it doesn't get all the water out so you end up with really mushy tuna and..."
I'll spare you the rest, but it was as though our earlier disagreement hadn't even happened and instantly we were back to discussing the trivial annoyances of day to day living. Well, Louise was, anyway. Me... I find it much harder to reset my emotions like that.
In her immensely readable book Unf*ck Your Brain, the delightfully foul-mouthed Dr. Faith G, Harper tells us...
"Our emotions influence our thoughts and behaviours. They are meant to be a physiological signal to the rest of the brain. Once they have done their jobs, they are then meant to dissipate.
Do you know how long an emotion is actually meant to last?
90 seconds.
Seriously, just one and a half minutes for an emotion to run its course.
But you are calling "bullshit" right now, I know. Because if that were really the case, why do our emotions last hours, days, or years? 90 seconds? Not so much.
Emotions last longer than 90 seconds because we continue to fuel them with our thoughts. We do this by telling ourselves the same stories about the triggering situation over and over. This is when they stop being emotions and start becoming moods."
So how do we stop our 90 second emotions becoming full-on hissy fits, extended bouts of pout, or lock-yourself-in-the-toilet meltdowns?
The answer, according to the experts, presumably people who never experience more than 90 seconds of negative emotions at any one time, is to take control of our own feelings and become emotionally self-aware.
This all seems like a shed-load of work to me, but here's a few tips from Psychology Today about how to stop 90 seconds of upset ruining your entire day...
“Look at the second hand on a watch. As soon as you look at it, you’re now observing yourself having this physiological response instead of engaging with it. It will take less than 90 seconds, and you will feel better. Of course, you can always go back to thinking those thoughts that re-stimulate the loop. There’s probably a thought somewhere in your brain of somebody who did you wrong 20 years ago. Every time you think of that person it still starts that circuit. When things are getting hot and you’re getting hot-headed, look at your watch. It takes 90 seconds to dissipate that anger response.”
We keep coming back to this on Self-Help For Cynics. Make yourself aware of what your brain is doing as a first step to taking back control. But how easy is that to do in the heat of the moment when your brain is fired up with the matter at hand? I reckon it'll take practice.
Sweary Dr. Faith takes this idea one step further. She suggests facing your emotions head on. Sitting down and wallowing in them. relishing them, living them to their full potential.
Not avoiding them.
Not just putting up with them.
Actually grasping the nettle and saying to yourself, "Hey, I'm angry / frightened / sad / etc. right now. This is what it feels like. It might feel pretty awful, but I know it won't last, so let's just give it a bit of time, give it its space."
Again, hardly the easiest course of action - particularly for those of us who are Professional Conflict-Avoiders. But, Dr. Faith assures us...
"If you attend to what you're feeling, you get over it way more quickly than if you avoid it. I've noticed I'm bored with myself about three minutes into committing to sitting with my feeling for five. I'm ready to go make a cup of coffee, read a book, find the cookies I hid from myself, or do anything other than perserverate."
All this makes me think that the brain is like a small child that wants our attention when we're otherwise occupied. You can try to ignore the child's continued efforts to disrupt your day... or you can try to muddle along, balancing the thing you're doing with giving the child a bit of attention. Or you can drop everything and give the child your full attention - blatantly. "OK, I'm watching you... what are you doing? Can I watch you do that too? Show me more! Let me watch YOU!"
I've actually done this with Sam on occasion, and often he'll get bored with this sudden bout of hyper-attention and actually want to be left alone for a bit. The people in the know tells us that our brain will do exactly the same thing... if we give it the attention it craves.
Apologies. I got two thirds of the way through this countdown before life got in the way. But I don't like leaving things unfinished, so the Hot 100 is back... maybe not every week, but whenever I get the time. Your suggestions, as always, are very welcome.
Wretch 32, pictured above, is a popular grime star, apparently. We used to have grime round these parts, then we got a new window cleaner.
Way back in July, George wondered whether the unsavoury lyrics in this oldie might make it unpalatable...
And here's the Charlatans with the same song... but not The Charlatans you and I know, the Manc band fronted by Tim Burgess, no, this is the original Charlatans...
And that was it for your suggestions. But what did my record collection throw up? Let's see if we can go even lower than Mr. Mister to start with, and climb up from there, shall we?
After sending my former boss (and nemesis) to Coventry in yesterday's post, I figured I'd go there myself today.
Coventry is the 12the largest city in the UK, according to iffypedia, and it was the birthplace of yodeller Frank Ifield ("I remember hi-im!"), Hazel O'Connor, Clint Mansell from PWEI, Julieanne Regan from All About Eve, The Primitives, Paul King, Pete Waterman and Lee Dorrian from Napalm Death. Probably the most famous musical sons of Coventry though are Terry Hall, Jerry Dammers and Neville Staple - The Specials. The Selector also hail from Coventry so there must be ska in the water (a ska spa?).
Oh, and Lady Godiva famously rode through the streets of Coventry NAKED, which proved very exciting to this particular Californian...
If I were doing this job properly (like Alyson does), I'd now be explaining to you the origins of the phrase "sent to Coventry" rather than just directing you here. Instead, here's someone who can give even Van Morrison a run for his money in the grumpy stakes...
They're smiling sweetly while they're looking daggers
Kick you where it really matters
Send all your friends to Coventry
And look for your name in last night's obituaries
But the winners today are the hometown crew. Although they don't mention their native city by name in their biggest hit, drummer John Bradbury (another Coventry lad) says it's where the inspiration came from...
"When I think about Ghost Town, I think about Coventry. I saw it develop from a boom town, my family doing very well, through to the collapse of the industry and the bottom falling out of family life. Your economy is destroyed and, to me, that's what Ghost Town is about."
Still manages to sends shivers down my spine, this, every time I hear it...
45s. For most of us, our entry into record collecting. Long gone now, except as collector's items and special editions. But there was something very special about the 45. If you were going to go to the effort to put one song on the turntable, then you were damn well going to give that song your attention. That's something today's youth has lost, and I'd argue the songs they cherish might never mean as much to them because of that loss.
Alyson was the only one of you brave enough to mention former Golden Earring member Jaap Eggermont's Stars On 45 by name...
...although Charity Chic went one worse by reminding us of Rotherham's answer to Stars On 45... Jive Bunny! Let's hope that's the last time they ever get mentioned on this blog.
A slightly more worthy suggestion came from The Swede, in honour of Jez...
And then came Martin, who's obviously now using the same lyrics search engine I do, because he almost filled up the entire comment's box with this lot...
Gomez's "Bubble Gum Years" Whiskey bottle and a 45, my dear Fountains of Wayne: "Number 45 Sunblock"(I'm not sure if Martin actually listened to that one - but it's not a real song.) Neil Sedaka and "Our Last Song Together": Scratchy worn out 45's, an echo on the radio The Hollies, "Long Cool Woman in a Black Dress": A pair of 45s made me open my eyes Blondie's "Bermuda Triangle Blues" begins Flight 45, last seen alive on the runway
Elbow's "Jesus is a Rochdale Girl" has Jesus is a Rochdale girl, and 45 CDs Meatloaf and "Rock and Roll Hero": Stacks of scratched up 45's and taught myself how to sing Barry bleedin' Manilow (!) and "The Old Songs" includes if all those plans I made don't melt the lady's heart, I'll put on the old 45's (Oy! Less of the 'bleeding'!)
Saint Etienne's "Home": Life seems so good, they're like the 45's when I dream I'm dreaming of you" (Can't find that anywhere on youtube.)
Bill Haley (and many others) and "Peppermint Twist": Well, meet me baby down at 45th Street, where the Peppermint Twisters meet" (Couldn't find that anywhere either so I linked to the version by Joey Dee & The Starliters.)
Repeat offenders Saint Etienne with "Teenage Winter": They'll never buy a Gibb Brothers record again, their old 45s gathering dust (Possibly my favourite SE song, that.)
Aussie proggers The Church and "The Time Being" includes I use a .45 to give them some stick
I'm going to stop there, I think. I'm getting obsessed.
Van Morrison - "Wild Children" opens with
"We were the War Children
Born 1945
When all the soldiers came marching home
Love looks in their eye..."
and FINALLY!
Mary Chapin Carpenter - "John Doe No. 24" (a beautiful song) starts with
"I was standing on this sidewalk
In 1945 in Jacksonville, Illinois
When asked what my name was there came no reply..."
Now, you may have noticed I've missed out some of your suggestions there. That's because, two years ago, on the event of my 45th birthday, I actually compiled My Top Ten 45 Songs. And here they are...
Sometimes pop stars can be proper daft. Here's ten daft things famous people do in pop songs. Don't try these at home... 10. The Smiths - The Queen Is Dead
I broke into the palace with a sponge and a rusty spanner
Take it from me, you don't want to do that, lads - Lego is bloody expensive! 4. Queen - Hammer To Fall
Lock your door
'Cos rain is falling
Through your window pane
Maybe shut the window before worrying about the door, Freddie? 3. Elton John - Your Song
I sat on the roof and kicked off the moss
Generally, a roof that's covered in moss is going to be pretty slippy. Look what happened to Rod Hull, Elton. Accident waiting to happen #1. 2. Van Morrison - Brown-Eyed Girl
Slipping and sliding, all along the waterfall with you
Accident waiting to happen #2, Van. Sir Thumbsaloft has some advice about that too. 1. Air Supply - All Out Of Love
I'm lying alone with my head on the phone
Thinking of you till it hurts
Well, stop lying with your head on the blinking phone then! Particularly because, back when you muppets recorded this song, telephones looked like this...
