Self-Help For Cynics #23: Rock n Roll Advice Bureau

We've heard from doctors and scientists and all manner of self-help experts over the past few weeks on this feature, but as it was half term last week and I was taking it easy (if only!), I figured we might listen to a couple of experts from the world of rock n roll for a change.

Let's start with a recommendation from Charity Chic, on whose advice I tracked down a copy of Steve Forbert's 1992 album, The American In Me. (I think it was CC who pointed me in Steve's direction, but I could be misremembering.) I was only really familiar with Mr. Forbert from his 1979 US hit Romeo's Tune, back when he was still a whipper-snapper, so it was nice to hear some of his later work. Perhaps his biggest claim to fame is that he played the part of Cyndi Lauper's boyfriend in the video to Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. That's him, turning up at the end, holding a bunch of flowers and trying to make himself heard over the racket...

Cyndi Lauper - Girls Just Wanna Have Fun

Here's a song of Steve's that certainly struck a chord with me...

You've got a lotta detail in your life, of late you find
Hey, now that you got kids, well, things loom larger in your mind
You make your best decisions in the time that you're allowed
And still get caught at Christmas in that final countdown crowd

It's always problems everywhere, you're juggling everyone
You do your best each day but when the sun goes down it's done, it's done
And then what slips through the cracks is just gonna go ahead and fall
Don't let it keep you up nights when you know my friend
You cannot win 'em all, oh no

Exterminator, lawyer, doctor, daycare, dental bill
Hey, now that you're essential, have you made yourself a will?
You gotta have insurance just to drive your car to work
And wind up down in court with some bad actor, neck brace jerk

It's always problems everywhere, you're juggling everyone
You do your best each day but when the sun goes down it's done, it's done
And then what slips through the cracks is just gonna go ahead and fall
Don't let it keep you up nights when you know my friend
You cannot win 'em all, oh no

Can't no one stop that airport that they're building over there?
Those planes won't hardly clear your trees and noise will fill the air
So set your sights on silent nights and greener pastures still
So much for your retirement dreams on Oakview Pleasant Hill

It's always problems everywhere, you're juggling everyone
You do your best each day but when the sun goes down it's done, it's done
And then what slips through the cracks is just gonna go ahead and fall
Don't let it keep you up nights when you know my friend
You cannot win 'em all, oh no, oh no

Wise words, mate, to quote famous DJ Dave Nice.

Frank Turner's got a new record out this year. After a few middling efforts, his previous album, FTHC, was one of the best he's yet delivered. It went to Number One in the album charts and appears to have given him a renewed sense of what's it all about. Here's some typically Turner-esque advice from the lead single of the new offering...

Some people are just going to hate you,

No matter what you do.

So don't waste your time trying to change their minds –

Just be a better you.

It took me years to learn this

(More than I’d like to admit)

But through my ups and downs I figured one thing out:

Don’t take anyone’s shit

I’m still standing up and there’s nothing you can do.

I’m still standing up.

Some people will search for your weaknesses –

They’ll go to any lengths.

But if you find them first you can take that hurt

And turn it into a strength.

And you’ll wonder why they’re so unkind,

And how they sleep at night,

But that simple fact means you’re better than that –

I think you’re going to be alright.

So which path to choose?

The one less travelled or the one more used?

All the sticks and stones, all the broken bones,

It’s not who you are it’s the things you choose to do.

Finally, my favourite band of the 21st Century are back, although I'm clearly the only person in the world who feels that way. Jeff Tweedy thinks there's a lot to be said for liking bands that nobody else likes (or have even heard of), but I still wish The Indelicates could get more than 79 views on the tube of you for a song as good as this. Also, in terms of defining post-20th Century middle-aged angst, I think "We're living in the wreckage of the bombs that never dropped" is as fine a chorus as you're going to hear this year. 

I'm not sure Simon Indelicate has any self help advice to offer us, but it's good to know I'm not alone in feeling like this... 

Well, I saw this thing that my nephew posted on Facebook

It said: "Scientists prove your life flashes before your eyes before you die"

I've hardly slept since I saw that on Facebook

I don't think I can stand the disappointment a second time