Wednesday, 27 February 2013

My Top Ten Charming Songs

What do you mean you already know the Number One? Charming!

10. Black Kids - I've Underestimated My Charm (Again)

A song that begins with a tribute to Sparks before going on to reveal...
And you, you're not doing too well.
All the blogs are about you, girl.
They caught you in the park after dark
giving head to a statue, girl.
Oh, cruel!
 I don't know what happened to Black Kids, but I wish they'd come back.

9. The Ohio Players - Good Luck Charm

Sleazy, in all the right ways.

8. Elvis Costello - Charm School

From my favourite Costello album, when his lyrics were at their most playfully malicious...
You & I as lovers were nothing but a farce
Trying to make a silk purse out of a sow's arse...
7. The Divine Comedy - Charmed Life

Neil Hannon looks back on a charmed life in which he may not have made a lot of money, but he always seemed to land on his feet. Which is maybe about all you can hope from life, in the long run...

6. Cinerama - Your Charms

I love the fact that when David Gedge tries to write an out and out love song, he can't help but be self-deprecating...
And darling, I just can't think clearly
It happens when I'm in your arms
And my heart is pounding
How pathetic is this sounding?
5. Aimee Mann - Charmer

Finally got around to buying the new Aimee Mann CD... sorry, Aimee, I'm six months behind schedule, but I don't have a lot of money these days. Thankfully, the record is every bit as wonderful as her earlier releases. Still among my Top Five All Time Favourite Female Recording Artists... that voice!

4. Blur - Charmless Man

Blur's Charmless Man is certainly a boorish oaf in the video... but you can't help but cheer when he gives Damon Albarn a kicking. Much as I love the Blur boys... Damon probably had it coming.

Wikimadeupia tells me this inspiration from this song came from some graffiti on a toilet wall. The title no doubt came in response to another song you're already expecting to find at the top of this countdown. 

3. Elvis Presley - Good Luck Charm

Nobody could "ah-ah-ahh" like The King...

2. Adam & The Ants - Prince Charming

...but nobody could "ah-ahh ey-haa!" like Adam.

What's the biggest problem with pop music these days? Nobody makes video like this... in which Adam plays Jesus, Alice Cooper, Clint Eastwood and a pantomime princess... and there's Diana Dors as his fairy godmother too!
Ridicule is nothing to be scared of...
1. The Smiths - This Charming Man 

Mere words cannot do this song justice. From the opening line, "Punctured bicycle on a hillside desolate" to Johnny's jangling-reverby guitars to the infamous refrain, "I would go out tonight, but I haven't got a stitch to wear"... it is perfect.

None of the cover versions are worthy of comment, but if you're a child of the 80s, and a fan of both The Smiths and The Housemartins, you might appreciate this magical mash-up: This Charming Caravan

Those were the songs that charmed me... but which is your four leaf clover?


  1. cannot top number 1 or 2 so won't even try.

    Besides which Killing Joke have never done charm.

  2. I can, I can...I can "ah-ahh ey-haa!" like Adam!

    But I would like to say that I tripped Morrisey on stage at Leicester during This Charming Man as I refused to let go of his trouser and yet those daffodils never lost their swing.

    Possibly the best top 2 you ever picked.

  3. Thank you.

    I think I've heard your Morrissey story before, but it's always worth hearing again.


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