Sunday 3 March 2024

Snapshots #333: A Top Ten Nut Songs

As Johnny Cash memorably put it - Everybody Loves A Nut!

Some years ago now, C asked me if I fancied having a go at a Top Ten songs about different types of nuts. We got there in the end...

10. Trust Ethel with your jumble.

"Trust Ethel", unjumbled, becomes...

9. Brown, Gate, Earring... and Callahan.

Golden Brown, Golden Gate, Golden Earring... and Bill Callahan's band, which was called Smog. A different Smog to these guys...

8. Burnt offerings... though they paid Gary Lineker to be a fan.

If they're burnt, they're Crispy... but Gary was paid by the Company to promote them.

A UK Top 30 hit in 1975, if anyone remembers it.

7. As big as two thirds of the Earth.

The earth is 70% (so, more than 2/3rds, in case any Maths teachers are reading) ocean.

6. Simon changes his name at Midday.

In the Bible, Simon changed his name to Peter. Not sure if it was at 12 noon or not.

5. Short Simpson meets Buffy's Alyson.

Lisa was a short Simpson. Alyson Hannigan played Willow in Buffy The Vampire Slayer (as I'm sure our own Alyson could tell you).

4. Morrissey is very good at worrying. 

Stephen frets very well.

3. Harrison plus Caine.

George Harrison plus Michael Caine =

(Technically speaking, the monkey nut, aka the peanut, is not actually a nut. It's a legume. But I couldn't find any decent Cashew songs, so it sneaked it, just pushing out Harry Nilsson's Coconut, which is a fruit.)

2. Rung to warn us of an Iron Lady approaching...

That would be the sound of the Maggie Bell.

(And yes, hazelnuts only have one L. But this Hazell was a TV detective, for whom Maggie sang the theme tune. And it's a cracking tune, so it was shoe-horned in.) 

1. Tyts.

Tits would be birds. What else were you thinking of...?

The Byrds - Chestnut Mare

Snapshots will be back next Saturday. You'd be nuts to miss it!


  1. That is a cracking song by Maggie Bell.

  2. Ah, thank you for working on that nut suggestion, with cracking results...

  3. Just spotted George's use of the cracking word too! Should have read the comments before leaving mine. Still, it's a great selection.


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