I stumbled across the cover version below recently. It was released late last year - I'm guessing it was an outtake from the More sessions and in days gone by would probably have been a B-side. Not that such things still exist.
I'm sure Jarvis would be the first to tell you that his version can't really compete with the original, one of the last songs Johnny Cash wrote before his death in 2003. Johnny's version is suitably apocalyptic, but Pulp make it their own, particularly towards the end when it starts to sound like a twisted cousin of Running The World.
Both versions take on a new resonance during these, the last days of the American empire...
Yesterday I read about how Johnny Cash was once attacked, and nearly killed, by his pet ostrich, Waldo. And as I'm short for time, I thought I'd share that with you...
“All he did was break my two lower ribs and rip my stomach open down to my belt, If the belt hadn’t been good and strong, with a solid belt buckle, he’d have spilled my guts exactly the way he meant to. As it was, he knocked me over onto my back and I broke three more ribs on a rock—but I had sense enough to keep swinging the stick, so he didn’t get to finish me. I scored a good hit on one of his legs, and he ran off.”
I thought this would a quick one, but they rarely are.
In 1962, the "Singing Ranger" Hank Snow (originally from Canada) had a huge country hit in which he listed all the places in North America that he'd supposedly visited...
I had a sequel in mind for this tune, but what I didn't realise was that Hank's version was a sequel in its own right.
The tune was originally written by Australian country singer, songwriter and aircraft mechanic, Geoff Mack. The Aussie hit version was recorded by Lucky Starr...
Lucky Starr also recorded a UK version, and I'm pleased to note that he had visited Huddersfield. This particular sequel was also recorded by some bloke we won't mention because he died in jail, leaving a black mark on all our childhoods...
However, none of these is the sequel I had in mind when I planned this post. No, that one circles back to the man most famous for recording I've Been Everywhere (unless you count Johnny Cash's version, backed by Tom Petty's Heartbreakers): Hank Snow.
In 1970, Hank recorded a new version of the song... in which it appears he'd rather changed his mind.
And one more, in a similar vein, recorded during lockdown when all our options were limited. This should bring back a few memories...
In 1956, Johnny Cash released a single that Rolling Stone would eventually vote the greatest country song of all time...
It was a song about staying true to your wife, and not falling prey to the temptations of other women, particularly when you're on the road. When he wrote it, Johnny was still with his first wife, Vivian Liberto. Clearly, he didn't walk the line for very long... not with Vivian, anyway. With his second wife, June Carter, though, Johnny found it very, very easy to be true.
I find it very, very easy to be true
I find myself alone when each day is through
Yes, I'll admit that I'm a fool for you
Because you're mine, I walk the line
In 1998, Rodney Crowell released a sequel called I Walk The Line (Revisited). It features a new tune and fresh lyrics, written by Crowell, before switching to Johnny singing the original track, and back again. At this point, Crowell was the former son-in-law of Cash, having been married to Johnny and Vivian's daughter, Roseanne, between 1979 and 1992. Talk about complex family dynamics...
All these long years later, it's still music to my ears
I swear it sounds as good right now as anything I hear
I've seen the Mona Lisa, I've heard Shakespeare read real fine
Just like hearing Johnny Cash sing 'I walk the line'
In 2007, the former Vivian Cash released a memoir about her short-lived marriage entitled I Walked The Line.
Y'know, I dream of the things I'll do, with a subway token and a dollar tucked inside my shoe...
More thoughts on the musical year that's ending, interspersed with lyrics from popular song to make them more palatable.
Wasn't it great to see perpetually despondent clown Bob Smith get out of bed for the first time in 16 years and think about making a new record? Of course, Songs Of A Lost World is wonderful, and given more time to wallow in it, I've no doubt it would have edged its way into my Top 24. Because of his "advanced" years - come on, he's 65, a spring bloody chicken! - Sideshow Bob does find it harder to get going, which is why many of the songs start with a 3 minute intro before he mumbles some lyrics about the end of the world and the price of make-up in Superdrug these days. If there's a smile on his face, it's only there trying to fool the public. But it's all good. Just don't wait so long before the next one, eh?
Someone else doing the resurrection shuffle this year is one J.R. Cash. Often erroneously referred to as John R. Cash, though his actual name is just J.R. Apparently his mum wanted to call him John and his dad wanted to call him Ray... so they settled on the initials. Johnny is just a stage name.
But anyway, he's back, making light of this dull, dull day. And fortunately it's not some nightmarish AI version (although, give it a couple of years... I bet Colonel Tom Parker's Estate is seriously investigating the Elvis-shaped possibilities), just some songs J.R. left lying around in the early 90s when Rick Rubin came along and gave him a better offer. They've been dusted off and given a respectful reworking by his son, and it makes for a nice enough collection. Though clearly not in the same ballpark as the American Recordings stuff, it's good to hear his voice again... for a few moments, I'm able to kid myself that not everyone I know goes away in the end...
Now's as good a time as any to mention the new Nick Cave album, Wild God, which I fully expected to be part of my year end countdown... but it isn't. Yet. I guess it's a life of surprises - it's no help growing older or wiser. After my initial excitement died down, I couldn't get into it... so I put it back on the shelf to revisit later. I feel this is my failure, and I can only apologise for that. After all that we've been through, Nick, I will make it up to you - I promise to!
We close today with the Avett Brothers, another band I can't keep up with, since the last time I paid them any attention was back in 2009, and they've released another four albums since then... five if you count this year's eponymous offering, which I do, because it's very good indeed. Too good to be forgotten! Now what more can I say...?
I had a different post to run today, but as I came to post it, I saw the news about Kris Kristofferson taking his Last Ride.
Time was, I'd have tried to cobble together a decent eulogy, but the words aren't coming too easy these days, so here are some of his finest moments...
Freedom's just another word for nothin' left to lose
And there's nothin' short a' dyin'
That's half as lonesome as the sound
Of the sleepin' city sidewalk
And Sunday mornin' comin' down
I was a sailor
I was born upon the tide
And with the sea I did abide
I sailed a schooner around the Horn to Mexico
I went aloft and furled the mainsail in a blow
And when the yards broke off they said that I got killed
Once Bertie is tucked up in his crate-bed, Millie goes downstairs, out through the catflap, to do what cats do.
On Thursday night, the same night Bertie had rolled in cow poo, I woke suddenly to hear Louise screaming hysterically. I thought perhaps an axe murderer. Sadly not.
Millie had returned from her night time patrols and brought a blackbird with her, in through the catflap, depositing it on the landing at the top of the stairs. The blackbird was still alive, but clearly terrified, which would explain why it then defecated all over the landing carpet.
Louise, having seen something moving in the darkness, was convinced it must be a rat... hence the screams. Fortunately I was able to rescue the blackbird and put it out the bathroom window. It flew away from the madhouse that is Top Ten Towers, vowing never to return.
(Don't even start me on the unforgivable "Your" / "You're" confusion.)
Can a bawdy joke spoil a great song?
This is the question I ask myself whenever I hear Dr. Hook's biggest hit. Because it's a great song - if you like that sort of thing, obviously, and growing up with Radio 2, I grew to love it - but the hokey pun innuendo soon outlived its welcome.
I was pretty certain I knew who wrote this song - but it turns out I was wrong. I was sure it must be another Shel Silverstein composition, given Shel wrote a number of Hook's hits, including their very best song...
Now that's a classic. Even if you don't care for Dr. Hook's particular brand of laid-back country pop, you have to at least appreciate the way Silverstein's desperate lyric is perfectly matched to Dennis Locorriere's plaintive vocals. I swear when he sings, "Please, Mrs. Avery," I feel his yearning right down to the tips of my toes. What a performance.
And it turns out Sylvia's Mother is a true story too - Shel was in love with a woman called Sylvia Pandolfi, but she ran off with another man and ended up as a curator at the Museo de Arte Carrillo Gil in Mexico City. Shel tried desperately to rekindle that romance, but the only contact he had for Sylvia was her mum, and she wasn't having any of it. Nowadays, she'd probably report him as a stalker. I guess "Please, Mrs. Pandolfi" didn't quite scan, so Avery it was. And Mrs. Avery became such a famous figure, she even inspired a sequel song from The Men They Couldn't Hang...
But I'm not here to write about Sylvia's Mother, am I? Let's get back to the song in question. The reason I figured When You're In Love With A Beautiful Woman was a Shel Silverstein composition is that Shel was known for being a funny guy. As well as being able to break our hearts with songs like Sylvia's Mother and The Ballad Of Lucy Jordan, Shel wasn't afraid to write a song with a sense of humour. Like these...
You've got to admire the nerve of a man who can rhyme Loretta with Irish Setter, and then get Loretta Lynn to sing it. Silverstein was also responsible for another witty Dr. Hook hit, although it's one I have mixed feelings about...
Now the problem with this tune is the way the Hooksters laugh at their own jokes (or at Silverstein's jokes, anyway) as they sing them. Ironically, ...Rolling Stone is one of their only songs to feature Dr. Hook himself, Ray Sawyer, on lead vocals. Maybe that's part of the problem. Much as I wish to argue in favour of humour in pop songs, I have a problem with people who laugh at their own jokes. Now I've no problem with people laughing in songs, otherwise I wouldn't love this...
You hear Whitney giggling away (around 3'57" if you're in a rush) and you can tell she's genuinely having a good time. She's enjoying herself and having fun. The laughter is natural. Similarly, one of my favourite tracks by this up and coming pop hopeful...
Hey Stephen is a great "why are you wasting your time with those vain cheerleaders when I'm right here?" song, made even better by the line...
All those other girls, well, they're beautiful
But would they write a song for you?
The little chuckle Taylor gives after delivering those lines (approx. 2'50", busy folk) is priceless. And again, it feels genuine. Not so the self-congratulatory laughter in The Cover Of The Rolling Stone. I wish they'd played that song a little straighter. Or got Locorriere to sing it.
All of which brings us back to When You're In Love With A Beautiful Woman (It's Hard), which I'm still surprised to learn wasn't written by Shel... except, maybe not so surprised the more I think of it, because Shel was classier than that. Further warning bells sound when you discover the song was actually written by Even Stevens. No, no Evan. Even.
Stevens - real first names Bruce Noel - is a man who appears to love a good pun. He's clearly got a sense of humour, as demonstrated below...
...although, hang on, they were both written by Shel Silverstein too. Clearly Even Stevens' own songwriting was influenced by Shel... but I can't help but think Shel would have stopped short of the innuendo that upends When You're In Love With A Beautiful Woman, a sleazy 70s sexual allusion that's only "bettered" by this...
That one was written by David Bellamy himself. Well, gwapple me gwapenuts!
Not that David Bellamy, obviously. I might look more kindly on it if it was. To be fair, at least innuendo is the whole point of If I Said You Had A Beautiful Body... there's not a better song trapped underneath, begging for your respect. It is what is is and seems quite happy that way.
My contention then is that When You're In Love With A Beautiful Woman is a great song - especially the bridge, which is as heartfelt as anything Dennis Locorriere ever sang...
Maybe it's just an ego problem, problem is I've been fooled before
By fair-weathered friends and faint-hearted lovers
And every time it happens it just convinces me more
That's the bit I love. The bit that keeps me coming back to listen to this track again and again, the bit that gets me past the embarrassment of the smutty innuendo. (I particularly struggle with the "You know it's hard, you know it gets so hard" call-back - yeah, we get it, Even. No need to belt us over the head with it!)
Legend has it that Even Stevens followed Dr. Hook's manager into the studio bathroom to pitch this song. That says it all, really. If only he'd showed a little restraint... When You're In Love With A Beautiful Woman, It's Tough would have been much better, in my opinion. Or did this song only get to the top of the charts in the UK because of the lowest common denominator sales? If so, I hope Even Stevens sleeps soundly on his mattress stuffed with money, safe in the knowledge that he was one word away from writing a classic...
(Technically speaking, the monkey nut, aka the peanut, is not actually a nut. It's a legume. But I couldn't find any decent Cashew songs, so it sneaked it, just pushing out Harry Nilsson's Coconut, which is a fruit.)
(And yes, hazelnuts only have one L. But this Hazell was a TV detective, for whom Maggie sang the theme tune. And it's a cracking tune, so it was shoe-horned in.)
1. Tyts.
Tits would be birds. What else were you thinking of...?
The Byrds - Chestnut Mare
Snapshots will be back next Saturday. You'd be nuts to miss it!
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