Wednesday, 15 September 2021

Mid-Life Crisis Songs #68: To-Do List


I'm amazed I still get time to write this blog, since I rarely have time to do anything else remotely pleasurable these days. I'm sure many of you feel the same.

However, those pesky Scientists have just announced that too much free time can make us depressed. 

Whenever I read a study like that, my first thought is: who commissioned it? Probably the same government minister who told people who were having their benefits cut to "work more hours". We live in a culture where people are being actively encouraged (and oft times forced) to work longer hours than is good for them. That's one of the things that is killing many teachers, but I'm sure it's the same in many other professions... I dread to think what it's like in the NHS. Those who do it get no rewards (it's not as though those teachers working 90 hour weeks are claiming overtime) and those who refuse to do it (me, for one) are put under pressure from both management and peers for not pulling their weight. 

Meanwhile, what time do we have for leisure and relaxation? 

Oh, it's OK, the scientists just said we don't need it...

If you think you're busy though, spare a thought for the Felice Brothers. Their new single To-Do List puts us all to shame. 

Wash all the pots and linen
Find a psychoanalyst
Go to the bank and deposit cheques
Sweep up the shattered dish

Return everything that I've borrowed
Change all the bloody gauze
Buy a spinach-coloured dinner jacket
Defy all natural laws

Ohhhhhh... cancel Better Homes & Gardens
Ohhhhhh... admire Gothic arches

Become a lot more happy
Build a maze of styrofoam
Befriend an unfortunate lunatic
Wail on a saxophone

(And that's just the first minute.)

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