Thursday 9 May 2024

Cnut Songs #27: Customer Reviews

King Cnut could not hold back the tide, and I cannot hold back society's full-throttle descent into dystopia. All I can do is watch helplessly from the sidelines, and nod my head sagely when others hold a mirror up to the madness. 

Louis Armstrong & Carmen McCrae - Good Reviews

Hey There!

I would like to personally THANK YOU for being one of my readers.

Nothing makes me happier than seeing close friends and family enjoy a better life. I hope reading this blog helped make your life better this year :)

If you and/or your loved ones had a wonderful experience with this blog, I'd love to hear about it!

Would you please help me by leaving a review for this blog?

Your Feedback Means The World To Me.

Thanks again for choosing His Top Ten!

I would like to remind you that writing a review of your experience will help me improve my customer satisfaction.

All reviews (whether good, bad, or otherwise) will be posted on to help other people make more informed decisions about their blogging consumption.

Parliament - New Doo Review

There's an episode of Black Mirror called Nosedive, in which Bryce Dallas Howard plays a young woman living in a society where every aspect of your life is rated by everyone you meet. People are encouraged to rate every interaction they have during the course of their day out of 5 stars, and everyone carries around their own aggregate score which is visible to anyone they meet via special eye filters. People go out of their way to be extra nice and keep their star rating high... because once those ratings start to dip, it becomes harder and harder to function in society.

The Heavy - How You Like Me Now?

It's all a typical Charlie Brooker satire of our need for approval and the dopamine hits that come with smileys, thumbs up and blog comments (as we've been talking about recently in Self-Help For Cynics). And like all the best satires, it feels like it's only one step away from reality. 

Cheap Trick - I Want You To Want Me

Except... the one area where Black Mirror diverts from reality is that the people in that episode are only expected to provide a star rating. More and more these days, I'm being asked to write actual reviews every time I make a purchase or use a service... and as much as I like writing, I take umbrage at the idea of providing free marketing copy. Maybe it's because I used to work in advertising, where I got paid to write that kind of stuff. But also, I get little enough time to write... why would I waste it this way?

Half Man Half Biscuit - Bad Review

Clearly there are many people who like to do this. It started with eBay feedback and Amazon reviews, then came Tripadvisor and Trustpilot... and now everyone expects written feedback for everything. The blurb at the top of the page is an edited version of one of many emails I've received over the last couple of months from a company I bought a T-shirt from. It was a very nice T-shirt, but I paid you a fair amount for it and had no complaints about the service... surely that's enough? I'm not writing your marketing on top of that! STOP EMAILING ME EVERY FIVE MINUTES LIKE SOME BABY REINDEER STALKER OR A NEEDY EX!

Look. I posted a picture of the T-shirt on my blog. Please. Leave me alone now.      


  1. ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

    Reason for rating: It's Rol! What more reason do you need?

  2. Buy me a coffee. Or beer. In fact, forget the coffee, the beer's just fine.

    Trust a Trader aka JM

    1. Someone just bought me a coffee. If that was you, John, much appreciated.


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