Emma Pollock or Emma's Imagination for the picture please, said Charity Chic, who's doing pretty well at picking our pictured artist lately, even if he can't supply any relevant tunes.
Ms. Pollock was always the Emma at the forefront of my mind for this post. I've been a fan since the early days of The Delgados.
I have to admit to being unfamiliar with Emma's Imagination, but this is nice enough...
The only other singing Emma in my collection is the actress Emma Caulfield, here duetting with Nicholas Brendon from the Buffy musical episode. I'm sure Alyson will appreciate this if nobody else.
Emma Caulfield & Nicholas Brendon - I'll Never Tell
Speaking of Alyson...
As for artists called Emma, why not go down the pure pop route and offer up Emma Bunton? Baby Spice!
Anyone but Victoria.
Emma Bunton - What Took You So Long?
There was a queue at the post office, Baby.
Onto the songs then... although this week had less entries than usual. When I began this feature, I figured the girl's names would trounce the boy's names in song suggestions, but that hasn't been the case for the past few weeks. Anyway, here's what you had for me, beyond those that made the Top Ten...
Martin kicks us off with these...
Frank Zappa - Big Leg Emma (with (unintentionally?) comedic lyrics)
He'd be done for body-shaming these days.
Then Brian offered these...
(Both were in serious contention.)
Rigid Digit provided this...
...which was a bit too modern-Saxon. An older Saxon tune might have stood a chance.
Finally, you'll be pleased to know that my millennial hipster politico friend, Ben, was far too busy doing important things this week to devote much effort to the search, although he did offer the following, which he says reminds him of being 12...
I was 31 when that record came out. It reminds him of being 12. Grrr...
(Actually, I think he's a year or two older than your Maths will reveal... but I ignore him whenever he tells me his exact age because it makes me ill.)
Meanwhile, scraped from my own hard-drive, but still worthy of consideration...
The Walkmen - Emma, Get Me A Lemon
And, from 1971, this curious tale of an Emma who...
Which, however sweetly sung, is a pretty terrible euphemism.
However, one night Emma is late... and Jonathan has his tea at 8.30, so frankly, don't mess me about love. I'm not sure this song is meant to make me laugh so much.
Finally, a couple of choice lyrical cuts...
Father John Misty - Chateau Lobby #4 (in C for Two Virgins)
Arab Strap - Trippy (Caution: Foul Language Ahead... but then, it is Arab Strap.)
Charming as always.
From Rigid Digit...
If he'd worn a mask, I might have let him in the Top Ten.
And from Walter...
Second week in a row for that one! But Mr. Weller does all right round these parts most of the time.
Kirsty MacCall - Walking Down Madison
Frozen lives for whom nothing's happening
Hungry children is a mother's dilemma
Dumpster diving to feed her baby Emma
That's a classic, though probably not enough of a lyrical nod compared to some of the ones that did make the final ten.
And finally, from me, this week's Half Man Half Biscuit tune...
Half Man Half Biscuit - Improv Workshop Mimeshow Gobshite
Come forth with your queries
And I’ll wade out for miles
Never trust a crown green bowler under thirty
The future’s so dull I’ve gotta sing torch songs
Dropkick the improv workshop mimeshow gobshite
Facepaint Left Bank Kenneth Emma R-A-D-A Rainer Werner
Cokeheads cokeheads cokeheads
Which brings us nicely to the winners...
10. Dishwalla - Miss Emma Peel
A new one to me, suggested by Martin, but in the year that we said goodbye to Guy Garvey's mother-in-law, this seems an appropriate tribute.
9. Chumbawumba - When Alexander Met Emma
From Rigid Digit and Walter. Lovelier than you'd expect from Chumbawamba, plus it's from an album called A Singsong And A Scrap. What else do you need?
8. Buffy Sainte Marie - Emma Lee
Can I add one more, said Martin, because it's excellent. For Emma, forever ago.
Also, For Emma by Bon Iver, Alyson seconded, I only discovered them and the album of the same name when I started writing about the pesky virus in March. They had a song called Blindsided on that album which fitted the bill perfectly at the time.
Jury's still out here at Top Ten Towers on the whole Bon "I recorded this album in a cabin in the woods to get back to the roots" Iver experience, I'm afraid. Still, this was popular enough (on a quiet week) to make the chart.
6. Jens Lekman - Two Young Lovers
Nobody writes 'em like Jens.
5. Hard Meat - The Ballad Of Marmalade Emma And Teddy Grimes
Thanks to Emma, says C, I can recycle my comment from last week with the disallowed Teddy!
"...There's a sweet song: 'The Ballad of Marmalade Emma and Teddy Grimes' by Hard Meat, and I can give you a little background to the story too..."
The rather ambiguous-sounding name Hard Meat suggests all sorts – perhaps the title of an Andy Warhol film or a Scandinavian porn mag, maybe even the name of a militant anti-vegetarian group…so you may be relieved to know that the Hard Meat I’m referring to here is a 60s/70s band from Birmingham. Even then one might expect them to be Black Sabbath soundalikes, complete with controversial lyrics and dubious imagery - however, they had a far softer and more psychedelic/folk/acid rock sound and one does wonder why they chose such a name.
Their first single was a cover of the Beatles’ Rain’ (b/w ‘Burning Up Years’ which was covered by NZ band Human Instinct - many thanks to the reader who corrected the info stated on here earlier) released in 1969 on Island, and they went on to make two albums for Warner Brothers, ‘Hard Meat’ and ‘Through A Window’.
It is the last track on ‘Through A Window’ entitled ‘The Ballad of Marmalade Emma and Teddy Grimes’ (also released as a single in 1970), which has been on continuous play in my mind this week. I just love its uplifting feel, and an overall sound reminiscent of Traffic and early Faces. I was also intrigued by its subject matter because Marmalade Emma and Teddy Grimes were real characters who, through the late 1800s/early 1900s, resided in the historic town of Colchester, which is just a few miles from where I live.
It’s assumed that Hard Meat were spending some time in the Essex countryside when they heard talk of these legendary local characters in a pub and were so struck by the stories that they decided to write a song about them.
Marmalade Emma and Teddy Grimes, pictured below in 1910, lived as eccentric tramps and roamed the streets of Colchester begging and blagging all that they needed to live on, drinking beer slops from the local pubs, sleeping in ditches and hedges, and probably managing to get by very adequately on very little. The local community tolerated them in spite of some controversy and brushes with the law – on the 1891 Census Emma registered her occupation as ‘prostitute’, the only one on the list, and was also sent to prison briefly for swearing at a policeman. Story has it that on her return from the clink some local lads asked her where she’d been, to which she replied, “to college”.
Read the rest, and see Marmalade Emma and Teddy Grimes for yourself, here.
Thanks, C!
4. Kate Bush - Don't Push Your Foot on the Heartbrake
3. Belle & Sebastian - This Is Just A Modern Rock Song
2. Beulah - Emma Blowgun's Last Stand
Blimey, it's a long time since I heard the name Beulah, Brian. Didn't know this one, but it wins the prize for Best New Song You Guys Have Introduced Me To This Week. Especially when the trumpet kicks in at the 2 1/2 minute mark.
1. Hot Chocolate - Emma
Back when pop/soul (what they'd call r 'n' b these days) had proper guitar solos in it!
Suggested by Martin, Lynchie and Alyson, who adds...
They were so consistent over a period of about 15 years yet I never hear of them much nowadays - anyway, a beautiful yet really sad song.
Thank you also to Martin for reminding me of the Sisters of Mercy cover...
And here, thanks to Rigid Digit, is the Urge Overkill version...
Anyway, Alyson's right. Errol's band deserve a little more recognition. They made some great tunes, and this is one of their best...
