Conversations With Ben #24: Anti-Racist Baby

Rol: In the hospital, we get free kids books to give out to our patients. Today's box included 2 copies of this. Can you work out who the target audience is, because we are struggling...?

Ben: Neo Nazi toddlers?

Quite. The people who need this book will never read it. The people who don't need it don't need it. Not sure who Puffin is marketing this at.

That's what me and my mate were just saying.

It may have a positive intention but it doesn't have an audience for impact.

My favourite kids book of that level was The Last of the NooNoos.

I just googled that. I presume there's a subtext about racism towards green pigs.

Nah. The kid just wants to keep their dummy (noonoo).

Louise's friend has made up a song about this book. She's singing, "All the babies, all the babies, anti-racist babies..."

Is it wrong to dip bread in miso soup or is it British / Asian fusion?

Not a fan of miso soup at all. Louise used to make this dish with miso, noodles and pak choi. It was the only thing she ever made that I hated. I'm glad she stopped making it.

U don like udon?

I like noodles. Just not if they're in miso.

Miso's only a subtle flavour.

And Pak Choi is horrible. It's like that Spring cabbage they used to give us for school dinner that's like chewing through an enormous dock leaf.

Not if you wilt it properly.

Gotta cook it perfectly. Undercooked, it's like eating a garden leaf, overcooked and it's stewed.

Thank you,  Delia.

I don't think Delia ever cooked it. It didn't come in a tin.

You realise it's 10.15 on a Saturday night right now? Robert Smith would be proud.

To eat miso soup?

Well, it is a panacea. The Cure to all his ailments...

I got my March pre-order email and I now order so many comics that I get a free copy of the Previews catalogue.

You did this to me.

Don't blame me. I don't even buy comics anymore.

No. You passed that curse to me. Now I have to wait til I'm in my sixties to pass it onto someone else.

Comics won't exist when you're in your 60s. All the old fart collector's who keep the industry afloat will be dead, and kids will be more interested in injecting VR bdiddliblngs straight into their neural shazboxes.

Old man shouts at clouds.

Here's a comic from when I was a kid...

Gotta love the 70s. Things were so much simpler then. 

Also a sound plan from Lex Luthor.

Does that make Kid Flash now Mid Flash if Flash is turned to a kid?

Not if Lex has killed the Flash. That makes Kid Flash the Flash.

That's a lot of pressure on a kid.

And if Lex goes after him next, presumably he'll turn him into a baby and then kill that.

Does the device he used to de-age them only do so many years?

Surely he'd have been better off just turning them all into babies in the first place?

Or is there a Comics Code Authority red line?

Maybe he could turn them all into foetuses and flush them. Except that would upset the Bible Belt, so probably not.

Beating the shit outta kids is wholesome and Christian though.

Exactly. Just don't hurt them before they're born.

Oh - look! 

There's a whole collection of them!

Truly, the internet never lets me down...

But... why?

Who conceives of that and then puts the effort into making it?

The Spidey one looks quite cute. The Hulk one is disturbing. But the naked Hitler one is on the wrong page, surely?

The Spidey one looks like he's just waiting.

The Hulk looks like Blanka from Street Fighter,

You know who would really screw up Lex Luthor's plan?

Jon Bon Jovi?

Squidly Diddley?

Hong Kong Phooey?

None of the above... this guy!

Is Lex Luthor a racist?

Middle-aged white male billionaire, skinhead, hates Richard Pryor... you work it out.

(Sorry, I just realised Lex Luthor wasn't in Superman III, so that joke doesn't really work.)

Hot 100 #15

A quieter week on the countdown than last week, thankfully, and the only band I could find with 15 in the name was the one above. I'm guessing they're Spanish, but beyond that.... no idea. Here's a tune from them anyway...

Grupo 15 - El Ole

Let's start with Lynchie, who straight away grabbed two of the most obvious choices. First this...

The Cure - 10:15 Saturday Night (The Peel session version!)

That's a pretty good version. Not heard that before. Here's the original to contrast...

The Cure - 10:15 Saturday Night

And then this...

The Who - 5.15 (Outta my brain on the train!)

Not surprised to find both Martin & C seconding those.

Martin carried on with these...

The Fall - 15 Ways (To Leave Your Man) 

The Beta Band - Number 15

ABC - 15 Storey Halo

David Bowie - 5.15 The Angels Have Gone

Hang on, Martin... Brian's got something to say about that one...

TVC 15. 'Nuff said.

David Bowie - TVC15

Although Brian did then self-correct...

Was just singing this to myself in bed this morning. "ONE-FIVE!" Boy, is my face red.

Apologies for the interruption, Martin. You carry on...

Taylor Swift - Fifteen 

Barry Manilow - Fifteen Minutes

...Christ, I'd better stop there...

Good decision. I'm not sure you can top the Bazzer Boogie.

Although I'm rather surprised you didn't suggest this one, Martin... considering it's one of your favourite bands, before they changed their name.

Sp!n - Fifteen Minutes

And even more surprised, you forgot this one...

Gene - Her Fifteen Years

Over to Jim in Dubai...

Tougher than I thought this week, here's all I have...

Wire - The 15th

Evripidis and his Tragedies - Fifteen Again

Standard Fare - Fifteen

That's cool. Thank you, Jim.

Over to Rigid Digit, who also nominated The Who and The Cure...

Radiohead - 15 Step

The Guess Who - 8:15

Inspiral Carpets - 8:15 From Manchester (the theme to a 90s Saturday Morning kids show - it's actually a re-recording of Find Out Why. But it does evoke a memory of late teenage/early 20s hangovers.)

Alyson was up next, with two very fine... if distinctly un-Alyson... suggestions...

Nick Cave and the Bad Seeds - Fifteen Feet of Pure White Snow 

Levellers - 15 Years

Finally this week, it's Swiss Adam...

To what's above I can add...

Ride - Fifteen minutes

...and... 

Beat The Devil - Three fifteen 

Fairly obscure that one.

So obscure, I couldn't find it online. I did find this though...

Beat The Devil - Plea Bargain

OK, so what did I have left over...?

Kirsty MacColl - Fifteen Minutes

John Prine & Lee Ann Womack - 15 Years Ago

Patterson Hood - Fifteen Days (Leaving Time Again)

Johnny Boy - 15 Minutes

Depeche Mode - Little 15

Gilbert O'Sullivan - 15 Times

The Ataris - 1*15*96

Elvis Costello - 15 Petals

Ocean Colour Scene - The Clock Struck 15 Hours Ago

Supergrass - Prophet 15

The Human Beinz - April 15th

Elbow - The Delayed 3:15

Johnny Lloyd - Next Episode Starts In 15 Seconds

Rilo Kiley - 15

Which is Jenny Lewis at her best...

He was deep like a graveyard, wired like T.V.

And how could he have known

That she'd be down for almost anything

But she was only, only, only 15

My, oh my, you pretty thing

It's about that time

For us to meet

Does your daddy have a shotgun?

Oh, wait... I've forgotten to pick a winner, haven't I? Tough one this week as I don't have a clear favourite, although the two that got the most votes are clearly leading the field.

You can choose your own favourite, but for me... although in most matches, Roger Daltrey would defeat Robert Smith... in this one, Bob just edges it. Maybe it's because this song reminds me so much of Saturday nights in my 20s... although I don't remember ever sitting in the kitchen sink.


14?

Go!

Hot 100 #31

31 Scars are the band I found to illustrate #31 in the Hot 100. What can I tell you about them? They like The Cranberries.

"Welcome back the songs with numbers thing!" said Lynchie.

To celebrate, I'd like to offer up Sin City written by Gram Parsons and performed by The Flying Burrito Brothers on the fab album "The Gilded Palace Of Sin". The chorus is:

This old earthquake's gonna leave me in the poor house

It seems like this whole town's insane

On the 31st floor a gold plated door

Won't keep out the Lord's burning rain

A fine tune, and one that featured on Saturday Snapshots a few weeks back, if I remember correctly. But not this week's winner.

"Good to see the return of the Hot 100, yes!" said C.

I can offer one song lyric with 31 in, from The Universal Soldier by Buffy Sainte Marie, also covered by Donovan and (I just found) more recently by First Aid Kit. A song with a theme that sadly never goes out of date.

He's five-foot-two and he's six-feet-four

He fights with missiles and with spears

He's all of thirty-one and he's only seventeen

He's been a soldier for a thousand years

Thank you, C. I'm rather partial to the Glen Campbell version myself.

"Welcome back to the 100 - time for some more spurious suggestions. Thanks for giving back the opportunity for a dose of musical tourettes," said Rigid Digit.

Bonzo Dog Doo Dah Band - Death Cab For Cutie

Bad girl Cutie, what have you done

-Baby don't do it

Slipping sliding down Highway 31

-Baby don't do it

That is always worth another spin. Gave its name to one of my favourite Emo bands too.

"I too offer my welcome back and give my heartfelt thanks for bringing this series back to life," said Douglas. "I have, after all, been waiting months with baited breath to see if my Leroy Brown suggestion might finally have meant a first place finish! Missed by that much, once again."

Yeah, sorry about that, Douglas. Keep dreaming the dream.

A few great suggestions above that I would have made, and I am guessing Universal Soldier makes a strong finish. I would also have suggested Sin City, but in the spirit of offering something new and in keeping with the spirit of the musicians that seem to bring a winning touch round these parts, I will suggest the version by Billy Bragg, on the Talking With The Taxman About Poetry album.

I'd forgotten all about that.

As for unique and new suggestions, how about The Cure - So What?, from Three Imaginary Boys. It is a strange song, wherein Robert Smith, in the midst of a heartache breakup song, seems to be trying to sell us a cake decorating set. Not sure if that is a metaphor for something that eludes me, but in any case, the offer seems to be time-sensitive:

Order now

Allow twenty one days

For delivery

This offer closes

31st December 1979

I can't remember why, but that has featured on this blog before. It is gloriously mad.

Seems I missed my chance to get me one of them sets by close to 40 years.

You and me both.

And if that is too festive for you, perhaps a dead dog offered up by Mr Bruce Springsteen is more your fancy, in Reason To Believe off the delightful Nebraska album:

Seen a man standin' over a dead dog lyin' by the highway in a ditch

He's lookin' down kinda puzzled pokin' that dog with a stick

Got his car door flung open he's standin' out on Highway 31

Like if he stood there long enough that dog'd get up and run

Struck me kinda funny seem kinda funny sir to me

Yes, very funny indeed.

Another very good call, Douglas. Any other week... sadly I had another song in mind from the start this week. What was it? Well, it wasn't any of these...

Magnolia Electric Company - 31 Seasons In The Minor Leagues

The Shirelles - 31 Flavours

(One flavour less than last week's offering by Ani DiFranco.)

The Divine Comedy - 31st of May

Rory Gallagher - Too Much Alcohol (it all happens on 31st Street)

Stephen Malkmus - The Hook

By 31 I was the captain of a galleon

I was poseidon's new son

The coast of montenegro was my favorite target

It was ever so fun

We had no wooden legs

Or steel hooks

We had no black eye patches

Or a starving cook

We were just killers with the cold eyes of a sailor

Yeah we were killers with the cold eyes of a sailor

Dixie Chicks  - Tortured, Tangled Hearts

After 31 days of sleepless nights, she woke up to end it all

With "I love you" on a fresh tattoo engraved upon his chest

She tore her name right off his heart

So here's to the unblessed

The Go-Betweens - The Life At Hand

A ruby waistcoat won't hide my fear

At 12:31 watch my teeth disappear

However, first out of the gate this week was Charity Chic with a very fine suggestion from an artist I've long dallied with, every since I found her first album lounging in the chuck-out box at my former workplace. (What fools!)


30 next week. This may take a while...

Hot 100 #39

I'd initially thought I'd just chuck the above image on top of this week's post to see if anyone could work out why I'd done it.

Then I discovered this lot who rather gave the joke away...

Anyway, number 39 on our countdown. Thankfully not as busy as last week's entry. (But not far off.)



C started the ball rolling with a slice of post-punk goodness...

Television Personalities - Hard Luck Story Number 39

Followed soon after by Lynchie, who went all weird on us...

Primer mi carucha (Chevy '39)
Going to El Monte Legion Stadium
Pick up on my weesa (she is so divine)
Helps me stealing hub caps
Wasted all the time

The above are the opening lyrics to "Dog Breath, in the Year of the Plague" by The Mothers Of Invention. The vocals are stupendous, especially Nelcy Walker's soprano voice backed by Ray Collins & Roy Estrada. This track led me to purchase "Cruising with Ruben & the Jets" - an earlier Mothers' album which has some of the best doo-wop songs ever recorded.

Frank Zappa & The Mothers of Invention - Dog Breath, in the Year of the Plague

Lynchie's second suggestion was a bit more down-to-earth... and surely a shoe-in for this week's winner as it comes from one of my favourite albums...

A friend of mine became a father last night
When we spoke in his voice I could hear the light
Of the skies and the rivers the timberwolf in the pines
And that great jukebox out on Route 39

Bruce Springsteen - Valentine's Day

Then again, much as I love The Boss, it's only two weeks since he last claimed the top spot in this countdown. Would I really give it to him again?

Our Canadian correspondent, Douglas McLaren, was pretty sure I would...

Darn. Got beaten to the Boss, which I am guessing is the "shoe-in". Oh well. Though Valentine's Day is (in my opinion) the better song, Springsteen's "Stand On It" is a rollickin' great-balls-of-fire b-side belter that also refers to Route 39.

Bruce Springsteen - Stand On It

Nope. Not this week, Douglas. What else have you got for me?

A few other offerings as outside chances. For starters, there is last week's poster boys, UB40, with "Hold Your Position, Mk3". Not the biggest UB40 fan, but that one sits in the record collection. Lyrics mention "39 Acker Tree, Frontline"...not sure if that is an address or what?

Hardly a desirable residence, by the sounds of it.

UB40 - Hold Your Position, MK3

I feel I should mention Canada's Own Gordon Lightfoot again this week, as his offering for "40" went down fighting. The song "Drink Yer Glasses Empty". A typically Lightfoot song, semi-autobiographical I suppose given that he was in fact born in 1938, but timeless considering the world today: 

Better drink yer glasses empty now
It's time to rise and shine
There's one less cause in the world
To be leaving for
It was back in 39
When I was one year old
Sitting by the backyard fence
And the world had turned so cold...

Gordon Lightfoot - Drink Yer Glasses Empty

Another one that actually sits in the collection since I picked up a vinyl copy at a charity shop, but I am not actually all that fond of myself (outside chance perhaps?) is World Party, "The Ballad of The Little Man". The Latin Teacher in me appreciates the Classical allusion in the lyrics, though:

He's an animal but he thinks he's God
Gets him mixed up with him
And we're all at the mercy
Of this little man within
He was doing fine in 39
Thank God he did not win
He kept playing on his fiddle
As he watched old Rome cave in...

World Party - The Ballad of the Little Man

Blimey - a Latin teacher! That'll put a lowly English teacher like me in my place. But no, not World Party this week, Douglas. Anything else?

Alright, the most outside outside chance of all?

Weird Al Yankovic - The Biggest Ball of Twine In Minnesota

Well, we crossed the state line about 6: 39
And we saw the sign that said, "Twine Ball exit, fifty miles"
Oh, the kids were so happy they started singing
"99 Bottles Of Beer On The Wall" for the twenty-seventh time that day...

It reminds me of my summer vacations as a kid. Every last one of them. And at least by mentioning in now it pre-empts its obvious chances of being a take-all winner in 12 weeks time when number 27 comes up.

Yeah, that's the winne... oh, no, sorry, it isn't. Nice try though.

Who else do we have? Ah, George...

Of course Spanish Bombs will not be featuring.........

Well, it will be featuring, George. It just won't be winning. Nothing against Mr. Strummer and co. I'm just not cool enough to worship them in quite the same way many other venerable bloggers do.

The Clash - Spanish Bombs

Spanish songs in Andalucia
The shooting sites in the days of '39
Oh, please, leave the vendanna open
Fredrico Lorca is dead and gone
Bullet holes in the cemetery walls
The black cars of the Guardia Civil
Spanish bombs on the Costa Rica
I'm flying in a DC 10 tonight

Next up was Rigid Digit, with three fine suggestions...

The Cure - 39

White Stripes - Hotel Yorba

I said 39 times that I love you, 

To the beauty I had found

That's just harrassment, Jack. You want to watch that sort of behaviour in this day and age.

And for the third and final time:

AC/DC - Whole Lotta Rosie

42 39 56 - you could say she's got it all

God loves a trier.

Our final suggestion this week comes from Deano, my old pal from the land down under...

Paul Kelly - You're 39, You're Beautiful and You're Mine

A beautiful ballad where Kelly shows that love songs don’t just have to be about the young ones…

That is pretty special. Thanks, Deano.

And you all for playing, as ever. Before we get onto this week's winner (as immidiately identified by Martin, and seconded by Deano), here's a few more offerings from my hard-drive...

Lloyd Cole - 39 Down

Hank Williams III - 7 Months, 39 Days

The Handsome Family - Emily Shore - 1819 - 1939

Larry Jon Wilson - July 12th, 1939

Al Stewart - Laughing Into 1939

Jane Birkin & Serge Gainsborough - 18 - 39

Tenacious D -39

Jeannie C. Riley - Slippin' Shirley Thompson

Sippin' Shirley Thompson doesn't care
She's 39 and feelin' fine and not much up to goin' anywhere
Her husband is a bible salesman and at 39 his hair fell out
She said there's not a hair between him and the heaven that he talks about

All good songs, but the songs from our teenage years often leave the biggest impression, don't they? And that's certainly the case with this tune from Queen's A Night At The Opera album, a favourite of mine was I was 15 (even though it was released 12 years earlier). I never had much of an idea what the song was about, I just thought it was a pretty tune and Brian does a good job on vocals. Iffypedia reveals the lyrics go back to Brian's days as an astrophysicist...

The song tells the tale of a group of space explorers who embark on what is, from their perspective, a year-long voyage. Upon their return, however, they realise that a hundred years have passed, because of the time dilation effect in Einstein's special theory of relativity, and the loved ones they left behind are now all dead or aged.

You don't get that from Ed Sheeran, do you?

Oh, final trivia bit. This was George Michael's favourite Queen song, and apparently he used to play it as a busker on the London Underground. I bet the police moved him on if he gathered a crowd this big.

38 next week. I bet Douglas has a suggestion. Anyone else?

My Top Ten Girls vs. Boys Songs

Ten girl songs versus ten boy songs. Who will come out on top?


10. Generation X - Modern Boys vs. Sheena Easton - Modern Girl

Billy Idol vs. Sheena Easton... who would you put your money on?

The boys outnumber the girl here, but they teach 'em to fight tough in Glasgow.

Sheena takes the first victory for the ladies.

9. Morrissey - Girl Least Likely To vs. Boy Least Likely To - The Battle of the Boy Least Likely To

Regular viewers will realise we can't let Morrissey win one of these - not even to a band who named themselves after one of his songs. I say because it's because he needs to maintain that perpetual losing streak, you probably say it's because he's a nazi.

The boys make it one all.

8. Alison Moyet - Ode To Boy vs. Carl Barat - Ode To A Girl

Well, obviously this one goes to Alison... although that does mean the boys go one up.

7. The Seekers - Georgie Girl vs. Jack Lukeman - Georgie Boy

"Jack who?" you cry. Surely Judith Durham claims a victory here.

Except...

There's something about the perkiness of Georgie Girl that has the worst kind of 60s sound to my ears... and that Jack Lukeman track is pretty damned good, actually.

3-1 to the boys! Oh no!

6. Death Cab For Cutie - Some Boys vs. Racey - Some Girls

So to get the girls back in the game, I have to choose RACEY over Death Cab For Cutie.

Thank god I'm uncool.

3-2.

5. Voice of the Beehive - Stupid Boy vs. Garbage - Stupid Girl

Very cool Beehive song (great lyrics too), but Shirley wins this one, bringing us back to level-pegging.

3-3

4. Freddie Mercury & Montserrat Caballe - The Golden Boy vs. John Martyn - Golden Girl

A nice simple acoustic John Martyn song vs. the operatic pomp of Freddie & Montserrat, a track from the Barcelona album which I've not listened to in ages. I was almost about to give this one to the girls too, but around the 2 1/2 minute mark, Freddie only goes and blows the bloody doors off. Wow.

4-3 to the boys.

3. Andrew Gold - Lonely Boy vs. Lucinda Williams - Lonely Girls

I'm going to confess something now... for many years, I considered Andrew Gold's Lonely Boy to be a masterpiece on a par with Morrissey's I Have Forgiven Jesus in regard to describing how my life felt... in fact I think I may have listened to it a bit too much.

On the other hand, I first heard Lonely Girls on an Uncut compilation CD and it was probably the track that introduced me to Lucinda Williams.

4 all.

2. Don Henley - Boys of Summer vs. Arab Strap - Girls of Summer

Arab Strab are hilarious, and this is one of their best.

But... Boys of Summer is one of the greatest songs of the 80s, and one of the best summer songs ever recorded. I saw a deadhead sticker on a Cadillac...

5-4 to the boys.

1. The Cure - Boys Don't Cry vs. Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons - Big Girls Don't Cry

Too close to call, surely?



Let's call it a draw to keep everyone happy...


But what would your verdict be? Boys or girls? Whoever wins, the losers don't cry...

Hot 100 #52

This week's image was an obvious choice, and even came up as a song suggestion from Brian...

The B-52s - 52 Girls

Effie
Madge and Mabel
Biddie, see them on the beach
Or in New
York City, Tina Louise
And there's Hazel and Mavis

But this wasn't the only mention of the B-52 bomber I found in my library. We could also have...

Bobby Gibson & The Voyagers - B-52

Saint Etienne - 52 Pilot

David Lee Roth - Skycraper

Float like a buttuerfly
Acrobatic
Sting like a B-52
Dramatic
And the radar locks on you
No static

The Monochrome Set - Apocalypso

I'm wrapped in silver foil
My blood is on the boil
B-52s flutter coyly

Or... my own personal favourite, natch...

Bruce Springsteen - Growin' Up

...a song where the B-52 button on a jukebox allows Bruce to bomb them with the blues.

A few other lyrical 52s that you suggested include:

The Cure - So What (C)

Cake icing and decorating set
Special offer
Only 3 pound 30
Save 1 pound 52 on recommended retail price

(No prizes for guessing why Robert Smith required such a product. Presumably it's what he used to apply his make-up.)

The Divine Comedy - Festive Road (Rigid Digit)

...which gets top marks for being a song about 80s kids' TV show Mr. Benn. Another hero of my childhood.

Dave Edmunds - I Hear You Knocking

I told you way back in 52
That I would never go with you

C wondered who did the original of that. RD replied that it was Smiley Lewis... and that if you listen carefully to the instrumental break, Dave gives a shout out to him, along with Huey 'Piano' Smith (who played piano on the original version), Fats Domino (who also covered it) and Chuck Berry (who doesn't appear to have recorded it at all, but maybe he played it live?).

Smiley Lewis - I Hear You Knocking

Rigid Digit also suggested this belter...

The Buggles - Video Killed The Radio Star

I heard you on the wireless back in '52...

RD then offered the controversial opinion that the cover versions by Ben Folds Five and Bruce Woolley & The Camera Club were both better than Trevor Horn's original. I'm not sure I agree with that - there's something about the original that just sends a shiver down my spine (in a good way) although they're both fine covers. I'd add the version by Presidents of the United States of America to the list of cracking covers.

Other songs I found that referenced 1952 included...

Roger Miller - South

She was born in '52, she finished in a Mississippi school

M. Ward - Beautiful Car

It was a baby blue fifty-two Roadstar
It was a beautiful car

The Swede offered one of his go-to artists...

Robyn Hitchcock - 52 Stations

(I'm going to see Robyn play Huddersfield Library on a Sunday afternoon soon. ROCK 'N' ROLL! Wonder if he'll play that then?)

Meanwhile, I found a few more lurking in the back of my hard-drive...

Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Area 52

Fish - Brother 52

There are, of course, 52 weeks in a year, so I thought I might find loads of references to that. However, the only ones that leapt out at me were these...

Julia Fordham - Downhill Sunday

52 weekends

52 to go
Sliding from heaven
To the flames below

The Undertones - I Don't Know

I got a postcard from my Majorca
She's now in love with a hotel worker
Holiday extended 52 weeks a year
I wish that I never tried to hurt her

There are also 52 cards in a pack... which obviously led me to this "classic" of my misspent youth...

Wink Martindale - Deck Of Cards

...which I'll play for Lynchie, because I know it's one of his favourites.

And friends, the story is true.
I know, I was that soldier.

All of which leads us to one of Lynchie's other suggestions... which is my runner-up this week...

Billy Joel - 52nd Street

(With a quick mention for Van Morrison - St. Dominic's Preview, which also takes a stroll on that particular road.)

However, I have to agree with both Lynchie and Rigid Digit that there was one very clear winner this week. It was the song that introduced me to this particular artist and established him in my mind as both a lyricist and guitar player of great note...

Said James, "In my opinion, there's nothing in this world
Beats a '52 Vincent and a Redheaded girl.
Now Nortons and Indians and Greavses won't do.
Oh, they don't have a Soul like a Vincent '52

If that doesn't break your heart by the end of the song, then you've got granite in your chest...



51 next week... anyone got anything that can challenge The Swede's obvious suggestion?

My Top Ten Tribute To Molly Part 1: Cat Songs

We lost an important member of our family yesterday. Molly the cat... silky ears, twitching whiskers, inquisitive meow (not to mention a full-on demanding MOWRRRR at meal times).

I loved how you thought you were a human, not a silly cat. How you'd talk back. How you'd show workmen round the house and offer your opinion. How you'd never quite settle down, and if you did, that's when the claws would come out, milking us for warmth. How sometimes you'd sit with your tongue peeping out. How loud you could purr.

There are so many Molly stories I could tell. You were such an incredible character. The time you reached out through a barely open bedroom window and pulled in a bird. (That jingling collar we had to buy you must have sounded like the Jaws theme to the local avian gangs.) The way you just had to find a carpeted area to puke furballs onto: a nice, easy to clean kitchen floor was never good enough. The way you made me feel welcome in Louise's house the first time I visited. You were one of the friendliest cats I ever met. It was amusing watching neighbours and schoolkids stop outside the house to give you a stroke on their way home.

Many more stories, but I'm filling up at the typewriter so... another time, Mols.

I'll especially miss going out last thing at night to find you (usually scavenging round the back door of the nearby hotel, where you'd managed to sweet-talk the kitchen staff into feeding you scraps), then carrying you home on my shoulder, purring, claws catching in my jumper.


10.  Sonic Youth - Purr

I love you baby yeah, you're superfine
A-claw me down, too
A purring, whirring, fuzzy like today
Switching sunlight
I chase you kitten, catch you every time
Funny how it flies

9. Marc & The Mambas - Boss Cat

Molly was certainly the boss round here...

Mee-ow, oh wow!
Mee-ow, oh wow!
Mee-ow, oh wow!
Mee-ow, oh wow!

8. Paul Heaton - Life Of A Cat

Oh, for the life of a cat!

7. Squeeze - Cool For Cats

Not really about cats at all, but Molly was definitely too cool for school.

6. Ray Charles & Hank Williams Jr. - Two Old Cats Like Us

We've been down a whole lot of alleys
Shook a whole lot of cans
There ain't too much about prowlin' or howlin'
That we don't understand

Had a few doors slammed on our tails
We've been kicked and cussed
But everything's cool for two old cats like us

5. Colin Clary - Meow Meow

Excuse the early Christmas song, but this one always makes me think of Molly. This song's for life, not just for Christmas.

4. Billy Joel - Cat

Very early, very jazzy Billy. But so many of the lyrics are spot on...

She walks with a grace of a lion
Her eyes are the color of a shade gleam
She takes her pleasure in the nighttime
Absolutely unconcerned about anything

She’s a cat and she's as free as the wind
You never know what kind of trouble she’s in
She’s a cat
Rest assured that she doesn’t need you

3. Elvis Costello - Pads, Paws & Claws

Maybe Elvis's song isn't about an actual cat, but Molly was certainly a feline tormenter and she definitely did the pads, paws and claws routine.

2. Prefab Sprout - Farmyard Cat

But you can be the feline elite and still go scrounging scraps down a dead end street, Paddy.

I'll be back to talk in more detail about this song some other time.

1. The Cure - Love Cats

So wonderfully
Wonderfully
Wonderfully
Wonderfully
Pretty...

My Top Ten Molly Songs will follow very soon, obviously...