My Top Ten Karaoke Songs

I've never done karaoke. Not because of any muso-snobbery on my part, merely because I guess I hang out with people who wouldn't be seen dead in a karaoke contest. The frustrated pop star in me regrets this quite a lot. Maybe I ought to start a sad, middle-aged bucket-list and put karaoke at the top of the list, rather than sky diving or bungee jumping.


Anyway, here's ten songs about singing someone else's songs badly over a tinny backing track...


10. Maxïmo Park - Karaoke Plays

Someone gets run down
Karaoke plays somewhere in the background,
But there is no explanation
What makes a grown man cry?
Karaoke plays and someone gets run down

That's probably pretty deep if you think about it.

9. Tom McRae - Karaoke Soul

This guy was on the verge of making it big back in the early 00s. Not sure why he didn't.

8. Kate Nash - Karaoke Kiss

I got a renewed respect for Kate Nash following her performance in the Netflix show GLOW, so I was pleased to see she had a new record out. This is a pretty fine cut from that...

7. The Haywains - Kill Karaoke

I owe Brian a big thank you for introducing me to this lot.

6. Catatonia - Karaoke Queen

Whenever I listen to old Catatonia songs, I lament the fact that Cerys packed in the day job.

5. Jimmy Buffett & Toby Keith - Too Drunk To Karaoke

The very definition of a marmite song, depending entirely on whether you consider Jimmy Buffett a loveable old doofus... or just a doofus.

4. Bennet - Karaoke / Younger Younger 28's - Karaoke Queen / Speedy - Karaoke King

Three long-forgotten Britpop and post-Britpop bands for the price of one: all of them far more interesting than Oasis. Particularly Younger Younger 28's - why weren't they massive? All worth a listen if you dig that era.

3. Ben Folds - Hiro's Song

I wanna explode in

A karaoke supernova...

...so much more interesting than a champagne one.

2. Elbow - Grounds For Divorce

Any excuse to play this, Elbow's rockiest moment... with a Costello-esque venom to the lyrics.

There's this whispering of jokers doing flesh by the pound

To a chorus of supposes from the little town whores

There'll be twisted karaoke at the Aniseed Lounge

And I'll bring you further roses

But it does you no good

And it does me no good

And it does you no good

1. Blur - The Universal

Gonna have to give the crown to Blur, for probably their finest hour after Song 2 (and certainly their most optimistic)... even though they disgraced themselves somewhat by letting it be used in a British Gas ad campaign. Surely you didn't need the money that much, Damon?

Every night we're gone

And to karaoke songs

How we like to sing a long

Although the words are wrong

 

It really, really, really could happen

Yes, it really, really, really could happen

When the days they seem to fall through you, well just let them go

Never really thought the Clockwork Orange video did the song justice, but here it is anyway...



Ever done karaoke? What did you sing?

The Gone Too Soon Top Ten #1: Speedy

 This week's Saturday Snapshots inspired me to kick off a new feature I've been thinking about for a while now, focusing on bands I loved who disappeared before anyone really gave them a chance. We probably all have a few of these in our collections. I reckon I can scrape together ten if I think hard enough...

1. Speedy

Speedy then

Speedy now

It was late 1996 and I was working in the record library, mainlining promo CDs that the record companies were hurling at us to try and get airplay for their new bands. It was the height of Britpop and I was out gigging (also mostly freebies) two or three times a week. There were so many exciting new indie bands popping up, it was hard to keep up with them all, but being a comic book fan, I took special notice of the debut single by another new Sheffield band, Speedy. With chiming guitars, a brass section and even a cheer & clap chorus, Boy Wonder promised big things... even though it only made #56 in the charts.



This was followed a couple of months later by the equally glorious Anytime, Anyplace, Nowhere... by now, I was getting very excited about the album. (Though the singles chart remained uncracked.)



But Speedy's crowning glory came in May '97 with the following single, a track I still consider a lost Britpop classic... and so much better than a lot of the songs that still get played from that era. I dunno, there's something about it still sends shivers down my spine... well, you know how I love a good story song.



And then... well, not much. A further single, Going Home, was released in '98, but the record company didn't even bother to send that our way. And the album? The album never materialised.

Until...

Well, until I decided to write this post, at which point I discovered that Speedy's great lost album, New From Nowhere, had finally received an official release by the Lost Music Club record label in April 2014 - 16 years after the band went their separate ways. Better still, it's available on emusic... so I finally got myself a copy. What a wonderful world we live in. If you remember Speedy - or even if you don't, but you dig the songs above - I recommend you check it out.

I can't promise every story in this series will have such a happy ending... but I guess we'll have to wait and see.

Saturday Snapshots #7 - The Answers

Well, I think I actually won a couple this week. There were some stinkers though, so congrats for getting the ones you did...

As usual, I highly recommend giving the songs a listen if you don't know them. They're chosen because they're good ones!



10. Hatless, eyeless Mitchell, could be a Beach Boy... insists on keeping the central heating off.

Yes, as Lynchie points out, it does look a bit like "the late, great John Martyn after he's had a long weekend on the booze" (most weekends, then?) but it's not...

Hatless = Hats off... to Larry

Eyeless Mitchell = Joni without the i (well done, C)

Beach Boys = Wilson

Keeping the central heating on...?

Charity Chic got there in the end (with a little help from C), as I knew he would.

Larry Jon Wilson - Melt Not My Igloo

9. A future resident of Monaco shares Bond's Martini.

Alyson got up extra early to be first to spot this youngster... surely she couldn't possibly remember him when he looked like this?

Monaco = (Princess) Grace-land

Bond's Martini = shaken, not stirred

Elvis Presley - All Shook Up

8. Pretty good at bathroom renovation; will also clean up if she fancies you enough.

Took you a while, and caused much debate over what she was wearing...

Pretty = Bonnie

For your bathroom renovation, I'd recommend a good Tyler

Will clean up...?

Bonnie Tyler - Loving You's A Dirty Job, But Somebody's Got To Do It

The Swede & Alyson tag-teamed this one.

7. Twiddly diddly dee (generic version) have a slow teacher.

Gave Lynchie no problems at all - though CC was kicking himself.

Twiddly diddly dee = Rocking Robin, a more generic version woud be a Rockingbird

A slow teacher would have you Gradually Learning

The Rockingbirds - Gradually Learning

6. Holy Sidekicks, Batman - Gonzales was a mouse!

The one nobody got, which is a shame... but hardly surprising. The clues were pretty easy if you knew the band / track. But not many people do. More on that tomorrow...

Speedy - Boy Wonder

5. Liberal philosophy on the John: it's only a crowded house, geezer.

Big expert on liberal philosophers, me. Apparently, there's one called John Rawls.

The John is also what some people call a Loo.

Crowded House sang It's Only Natural.

A geezer is another name for a man.

Lou Rawls - A Natural Man

Lynchie was first to get Lou; nobody got the song.

4. Scissor Sisters' girl goes off road while eating too many chocolate bars.

The Swede swooped in to take this one.

The Scissor Sisters sang Laura.

If you go off the road, you might veer...

A popular chocolate bar in the UK is a Galaxy.

Laura Viers - Galaxies

3. Herbie & Hutch: THE HORROR!

I thought I was going to beat you with this one until The Swede dug deep...

Herbie was The Love Bug

Hutch was partnred with Starsky

The Amityville Horror was a favourite book and film when I was a teenager.

Lovebug Starski - Amityville (House On The Hill)

2. You've got zero chance of getting off without suffocating.

(Your first guess will probably be wrong.)

I knew this wouldn't trouble Alyson... though it took a while to get to the right song.

If you were suffocating, there might be a problem with your Air Supply.

Getting off is another way of saying "Making Love".

Zero = Nothing

Air Supply - Making Love Out Of Nothing At All

Second Steinman song of the week!

1. Jenny Agutter inspires a Schubert opera.

Took The Swede about five seconds...

The Lilac Time is the British name of Das Dreimäderlhaus, a Schubert light opera.


In the Railway Children, Jenny Agutter waved at trains.

The Lilac Time - The Girl Who Waves At Trains