Namesakes #79: Duffy

This week on Namesakes, we pay tribute to a legend of the 80s: Patrick Duffy, aka Bobby Ewing from Dallas. Wait, you say, Patrick Duffy's not a singer! And you'd be right...

Mireille Mathieu & Patrick Duffy - Together We`re Strong

Neither did he ever record and release music using just his surname. These guys, on the other hand, all did...

DUFFY #1

First off, we find ourselves in 1970 with Tennessee country singer / Elvis tribute act, Wade Cummins. This was his only release under the name Duffy...

DUFFY #2

Our next Duffy took to the stage in 1974, inspired by Uriah Heep, Deep Purple and Humble Pie. The London-based band was comprised Stuart Reffold, Barry Coote, Joe Nanson, Patrick Sarjeant and Will Wright... no, none of them were called Duffy, and they were knocking around three years before the Man From Atlantis first set foot in the water, so who knows why they called themselves Duffy?

Their debut album was called Just In Case You're Interested, and it seems nobody was, as they only managed to get it released in Germany, France and Brazil. Soon after they changed their name to Scruffy Duffy, perhaps inspiring the creation of one of Grange Hill's best teachers, Scruffy McDuffy (above) a few years later.

DUFFY #3

Then in 1978, the same year Dallas premiered on TV, John Taylor, Nick Rhodes and Stephen Duffy formed a little band called Duran Duran. Mr. Duffy soon packed it in as a bad job, so the other two recruited some poser called Simon Le Bon instead... and the rest is history.

But what happened to Duffy? Well, to start with, he added the words "Tin Tin" to his name and scored a couple of fine Top 20 hits in 1985, like this and this. He then formed an excellent band called The Lilac Time (who are still in the go today) and released lots of beautiful music like this. 

None of this would qualify him for entry into today's Namesakes. However, in 1995, he briefly jumped on the Britpop bandwagon with the track below (and a subsequent LP), marketed solely on the basis of his surname...

It wasn't a hit, but I reckon it's better than quite a few Britpop records that were.

DUFFY #4

I know some of you aren't particularly Queen fans, and those of you who are may have stopped loving them in the 80s, but even if you're not a fan of their big 1984 hit I Want To Break Free, you can't tell me that turning it into a 1996 dance record improves it in any way, shape or form. I like to think that if Freddie had still been alive, he wouldn't have allowed this travesty.

Worse still, the Duffy featured here isn't even a Duffy - his real name is Daniel Sous!

DUFFY #5

Finally, the most famous of all the Duffys. Aimée Ann Duffy was born in Gwynedd in 1984. When she was 24, she scored her first (and only) Number One single, which garnered her comparisons to 60s hitmakers like Cilla, Petula and Dusty. She didn't quite enjoy the career longevity of her predecessors... but who does these days?

  

Which is your Duffy... and which one is just Duff?

Idiomusic #2: Better Late Than Never

We're back with another idiom and some pop songs which appropriated it. This post was supposed to run yesterday, but...

See what I did there?

The album cover at the top of the page is from Eddie & The Hot Rods' 2004 comeback album, their first in 9 years, hence the title. Other than that, it appears to be business as usual. Hot Rods lead singer Barrie Masters sadly passed away in 2019... and if you're wondering about Eddie, he was just a shop dummy brought on stage in the early days, but they soon got tired of dragging him around...

Eddie & The Hot Rods - Bad Time Again

Sadly, that album didn't have a title track. And because I reckon you've waited long enough for a song named after this week's idiom... here it is. Better l...

Sigh. Let's start with some Love...

Love - Love Is More Than Words Or Better Late Than Never

Next up, York's finest.

Shed Seven - Better Late Than Never

Finest what, you ask? Monkey-faced Britpoppers, I answer.

Some Bangly Canadian power pop next...

Universal Honey - Better Late Than Never

You normally can't go wrong with a bit of Motown. The jury's still out on Bobby Breen though, who sounds to me like he's singing while gargling mouthwash...

Bobby Breen - Better Late Than Never

Here are The Cover Girls, with a track from the soundtrack of the 1988 Eddie Murphy movie, Coming To America...

The Cover Girls - Better Late Than Never

And purely because they've never appeared on this blog before, nor on my previous blog, meaning that I haven't given them even one mention in almost 18 years of blogging... ladies and gentlemen, I give you...

The Nolans - Better Late Than Never

OK, enough of this MOR stuff... let's ROCK!

FM - Better Late Than Never

Some 60s pop from Down Under next, with a teen star who was qualified to teach ballet by the age of 14.

Patsy Ann Noble - Better Late Than Never

Still in Australia, here's some dream pop from the 90s...

Tugboat - Better Late Than Never

In a similar stylee, here's a band Khayem introduced me to a while back...

Breathless - Better Late Than Never

Bang up to date now with some bouncy indie pop from Liverpool...

The Ragamuffins - Better Late Than Never

I've always got a bit of (lilac) time for Stephen Duffy... even though he's got today's idiom arse-backwards...

The Lilac Time - Too Sooner Late Than Better

Country star Tanya Tucker was 13 when she had her first hit single in 1972... which makes her just over 20 when she released this belter in 1979... I dunno, she looks older on the album cover.

Tanya Tucker - Better Late Than Never

Pick of the bunch today comes from My Morning Jacket frontman Jim James. I always have time for a good two minute pop song - they're useful for filling up the last slot on a compilation CD...

 

Self-Help For Cynics #9: Defusion

At the end of my last Cynical Self-Help post, I'd just stumbled onto Cognitive Defusion. This is something I'd seen mentioned in a number of the books and websites I've been cynically surveying, I just hadn't come across that exact name before. 

The Psychology Group defines it thus...

Defusion is a skill or technique that is primarily used to detach, separate, or get some distance from our thoughts and emotions.

Basically, it means if one day you wake up thinking, "I'm a bit rubbish at this thing called life, aren't I?", the way to address is is by recognising that what you're thinking is just a thought. It's not about arguing with the thought, "hey, don't be silly, you're great and you know it!" It's very important that I emphasise that right at the start, because we all know that when you're feeling crap, trying to tell yourself you're not really crap (or, even worse, having someone else tell you you're not really crap) is the worst thing you can do. Let's look at an example of what I'm talking about from the world of popular song...

Soy un perdedor

I'm a loser baby, so why don't you kill me?

If I were Beck, I would use defusion like so...

"I see I'm having a thought about being a loser. Thanks for that, brain."

What I would not say is...

"Hey, don't be silly, Beck. You're not a loser. You've had hit records, you've got lovely hair... you even know some Spanish!"

Defusion isn't about arguing with your brain. It's about recognising that thoughts are just that, thereby giving yourself some distance from them. 

Let's practice some defusion techniques with a few more insecure pop stars...

Never win first place, I don't support the team

I can't take direction, and my socks are never clean

Teachers dated me, my parents hated me

I was always in a fight, 'cause I can't do nothing right

Every day I fight a war against the mirror

I can't take the person staring back at me

I'm a hazard to myself

Don't let me get me

I'm my own worst enemy

It's bad when you annoy yourself

So irritating

Don't wanna be my friend no more

I wanna be somebody else

 

P!nk - Don't Let Me Get Me

I see you're having those self-destructive thoughts again, P!nk I wonder why that is? I wonder where it came from? I wonder how long it will last?

But I'm a creep

I'm a weirdo

What the hell am I doin' here?

I don't belong here

Radiohead - Creep

Thank you, Thom. Your brain's contribution is most welcome. 

Apparently it helps if we are sarcastic or take the piss out of our negative thoughts; again - not to argue with them, just to help us see them as little blobs of brain energy that are no more real than daydreaming about becoming an astronaut or marrying Kate Winslet.

(Get off her, Alan - she's mine!)

So, now I am a was

Now I am a was

I started at the top

And I worked my way down

Morrissey - Now I Am A Was

Yeah, but you've only got yourself to blame for that, haven't you, Moz?

Sorry, that last one wasn't defusion. Just the truth. There's no helping some people.

Defusion as a technique isn't only suggested for tackling negative thoughts of the self-loathing variety, but any unpleasant thoughts, feelings or sensations that plague us.

David Woodcock - Why Does My Heart Still Ache So Much?

That's it, David, you're noticing the sensation and you're questioning it. Good use of defusion right there.

Getselfhelp.co.uk suggests using metaphors to help you recognise that your thoughts are just thoughts. As an English teacher, I whole-heartedly approve. Here's a couple of examples... 

The Thought Train 

And his thoughts are full of strangers

Corridors of naked lights

And his mind once full of reason

Now there's more than meets the eye

Oh, a stranger's face he carries with him

And at heart

He's full of strangers

Dodging on his train of thought

Train of thought

A-Ha - Train Of Thought

Thoughts are just like trains that pass through our heads. We don't have to get on board any of those trains. We can just stand on the platform and watch them pass. Even trains that dawdle around the station, you know that eventually they'll move on. If a train approached the platform that looked unsafe or scary, or the driver looked like a complete and utter psycho, we wouldn't get on board if it were a real station. So we don't have to get on board any of these freaky, disturbing thought trains either. We can just wave at them and let them go.

The Lilac Time - The Girl Who Waved At Trains

Don't Blame The Weather Mind

Into each life, some rain must fall

Too much is falling in mine

Into each heart, some tears must fall

Someday the sun will shine

The Ink Spots - Into Each Life Some Rain Must Fall

We learned a long time ago that we can't control the weather. If it's chucking it down, we just have to wait for it to stop. Or if we know the rain's coming, we can prepare ourselves. Put on a big coat, grab an umbrella. And we can also have a good moan about it too. Actually, having a moan about the weather does really help, because when we do, other people generally agree with us and moan back, and we realise we're not alone and everybody gets pissed off by it. (And it's not just the rain - just wait for it to get too hot, then the whinging really starts!) It's actually much easier for us to talk about the weather than it is the thunderstorms and heatwaves in our brain... but the result is usually the same if we start talking about those as well. 

Bob Dylan - A Hard Rain's A-Gonna Fall

Since I started writing this series, I've found it heartening that so many people have shared comments that show they think or feel the same way I do. Although (as I've said before), that's not why I'm doing this. I'm doing it because reading the books isn't enough for me to learn, I need to write it out in my own words, convert it into my own language, process it, understand it, know it well enough that I can put it into practice. But also to challenge it, from a lifelong cynic's perspective. Although I am finding it easier to not be so cynical, the more I do this. Those metaphors above, I might well have turned my nose up at them a couple of years back, or dismissed them with a haughty laugh. Now though, I actually find them useful. It's a slow process, but maybe I am finally starting to train my brain to think differently. We'll see...

Now that we are lonely

Life seems to get hard

Alone: what a word lonely

Alone: it makes me cry

Thought-train set in motion

Wheels in and around

Express our emotion

Tracks up then it cracks down

We've been running round in our present state

Hoping help will come from above

But even angels there make the same mistakes in love

In love, in love

Memory Mixtape #17: Waving At Trains

We had a couple of days away towards the end of last week, and stayed at The Whistlestop Cottage in Pickering, a cosy little getaway with a tiny garden that fronts onto the North Yorkshire Moors Railway line. Sam's stayed there before with his mum, so he knows the rule: whenever a train goes past, you have to run out into the garden and wave... 

We booked this before the bank holidays were switched around, so we were pretty lucky that way. The price would have no doubt gone up... that said, we were surprised by how quiet North Yorkshire was over the Jubilee. We'd expected it to be much busier. 

A great view from the garden... made the Cnut in me long for the days of steam engines, and a gentler pace of life.    

Like the last of the good ol' puffer trains,

I'm the last of the blood and sweat brigade,

And I don't know where I'm going, or why I came.

I'm the last of the good old fashioned steam-powered trains.

I'm the last of the good old renegades.

All my friends are all middle class and grey,

But I live in a museum, so I'm okay.

I'm the last of the good old fashioned steam-powered trains.

Like the last of the good ol' choo-choo trains,

Huff and puff 'till I blow this world away,

And I'm gonna keep on rollin' till my dying day.

The streets I left were always wet and grey

To half imagined west I made my way

To where the kettle always sings

And walking down the lane

Your long hair swings

My Top Ten Social Distancing Songs

 

Step back, please. As we all head back into lockdown, it's time to social distance in song...

10. The Police - Don't Stand So Close To Me

Let's start with the obvious one, eh?

All the girls in Mr. Sting's class fancied their teacher.

9. Hall & Oates - So Close

A mismatched romance, contained one of the great lyrical couplets to describe such an inequality...

He fell like a rock, 

She kinda liked him.

But as for being relevant to our current predicament, try this...

We believe in tomorrow, though we're stuck in today.

Baby we're so close, so close, yet so far away.

8. Dire Straits - So Far Away

I'm tired of bein' in love and bein' all alone

When you're so far away from me

I'm tired of makin' out on the telephone

'Cause you're so far away from me

Bonus track with the same title...

Stephen Duffy - So Far Away

When I was a young, young man

Back in the Twentieth Century

Well, you made your own amusements then

Flying to the moon

The benefit of hindsight

Is always black and white

There always were contrasting ways

To help you through the night

From bright morning star to morning sun

But they are so far away

That I won’t even ask them to stay

7. Richard Thompson - Keep Your Distance

Keep your distance, keep your distance

When I feel you close to me what can I do but fall

Keep your distance, oh keep your distance

With us it must be all or none at all

6. Suzanne Vega - Solitude Standing

Solitude stands in the doorway

And I'm struck once again by her black silhouette

By her long cool stare and her silence

I suddenly remember each time we've met

5. Astrid - Distance

Now that you're far away

I can feel the distance

They say it's only fresh air

But I can feel the distance

And the sun always shines

When you walk my way

Baby, I wonder

Is it sunny with you today?

4. Bruce Springsteen - You Can Look (But You Better Not Touch)

Mess around and you'll end up in dutch, boy

3. Justin Currie - You Will Always Walk Alone

Lying asleep at night under the watching ceiling light

Safe in the fortress of your home

Remember you'll always walk alone

2. The Temptations - I Can't Get Next To You

I

Can turn the grey sky blue

I can make it rain, whenever I want it to, oh I

I can build a castle from a single grain of sand

I can make a ship sail, on dry land tell 'em yeah

But my life is incomplete and I'm so blue

'Cause I can't get next to you

1. The Georgia Satellites - Keep Your Hands To Yourself

Still one of the great unsung rock 'n' roll songs...

No hug-ee, no kiss-ee... glad I'm not dating in lockdown.

If you want to leave a suggestion in the comments box, make sure it's at least two metres from anyone else's.

Saturday Snapshots #120 - The Answers

I blame Billy Joel for the fact that I can't ever think about Grace Kelly without also thinking about trouble in the Suez. Damn him. I'll never be part of High Society.

Anyway, before it gets to High Noon, here are this week's answers...

10. Invasion of the... couch potatoes.

Invasion of the Bodysnatchers.

Being a couch potato is a pretty easy life.

The Bodysnatchers - Easy Life

9. Rhythm & Blues writes to problematic girl, mourning conjunction.

R 'n' B without the conjunction is RB. Mourning is grieving.

How do you solve a problem like Maria?

R.B. Greaves - Take A Letter, Maria

For years, I thought this was a song about a scoundrel leaving his wife and shamelessly copping off with his secretary. Then I listened a bit more closely and realised his missus was at it first. So I guess that serves her right.

Excellent video.

8. Weeping fox.

Vixen - Crying

You love it.

Don't pretend you don't.

7. Ask Daniele for a more upbeat reaction to bad weather than Don & Phil had.

"Ask Daniele" is an anagram.

The Everly Brothers were Crying In The Rain.

Neil Sedaka - Laughter In The Rain

6. Dancer's dog mourned by Lee, Lynne and Luke Sky.

Jerry Lee, Jeff Lynne & Luke Sky... Walker.

The dancer's dog was Mr. Bojangles.

Tissues at the ready...

Jerry Jeff Walker - Mr. Bojangles

5. Bake-off final: mercy for Hergé.

Duffy sang Mercy.

I've never watched Bake Off, but I presume that in the final they put the icing on the cake.

Stephen Tin Tin Duffy - Icing On The Cake

4. Alloy writer romanticised by fortunate Queen killers.

The Smiths sang The Queen Is Dead.

Breaking into the palace with a sponge and a rusty spanner now seems quite mild as Morrissey's crimes go.

The romantic alloy writer would be Danielle Steel.

The Lucksmiths - Danielle Steel

3. On hold for conventional candy.

Vanilla Fudge - You Keep Me Hanging On

I should have saved this one for a Cover Me Monday.

2. Romantic Shakespearean text found in smallest room.

A book found in the smallest room would be a loo read.

Lou Reed - Romeo Had Juliet

1. The sound...of a brand-new world. Predictably.

Hey, radio head!

The sound...of a brand-new world.

So sang Talking Heads.

A world without surprises would be very predictable.



It's pure coincidence that this track featured here on Thursday. I compiled this
edition of Saturday Snapshots weeks ago. I could have changed it, but I wanted to see if anyone was paying attention.

Don't worry, Saturday Snapshots will be back next week. No need to Dial M For Murder.

Hot 100 #42

No prizes for guessing that week 42 of our countdown would be illustrated by Level 42, though Walter did suggest Love Games as a less obvious song choice than Running With The Family or Lessons in Love.

Level 42 took their name from Douglas Adams' The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy in which an enormous supercomputer called Deep Thought took 7.5 million years to work out "the meaning of life, the universe and everything". The answer it came up with was 42.

The songs my own giant super-computer (i.e. you guys) came up with for the number 42 were as follows...

C kicked us off with a certain lady whose measurements were 42-39-56 (I never understood lady's measurements, but very little imagination is needed here)...

AC\DC - Whole Lotta Rosie

Next up was Lynchie, with a couple of suggestions I'd earmarked as potentials this week...

The Rolling Stones - Undercover of the Night  

Hear the screams from Centre 42

Loud enough to bust your brains out...

Johnny Cash - I Will Rock and Roll With You

A new sun risin' on the way we sing

And a world of weirdo's waitin' in the wings

But I love you and though I'm past 42

There are still a few things yet I didn't do

And baby I will rock and roll with you

(If I have to...)

That reminded me of another song about the age 42...

Stephen Duffy - Oh God

And at the time I was a young, young boy

Barely 42

I didn't know only love could break your heart

I didn't know what love could do

Now before we get onto the main theme of today's post, here's a few other random 42 songs my own library chucked up...

Gil Scott Heron & Brian Jackson - The Summer of '42

Sonny Carntyne - 42(A)

Coldplay - 42 (shh!)

Jens Lekman - Friday Night At The Drive-In Bingo

So this is what they do out here for fun?

They play bingo and let their engines run?

Tonight's jackpot is a pig, hey that's criminal!

G-42! Ooh, I'm going diagonal!

It was Alyson, however, who raised the issue of 42nd Street, so certain I wouldn't be making a stop there this week. As she says...

Of course I know it's not going to be your pick, but the song 42nd Street has been around for nearly ninety years and was written by Harry Warren, who has been mentioned often over at my place as he certainly was prolific, and wrote many of the songs covered by other artists over the decades (I Only Have Eyes For You a favourite of mine). Also the Ruby Keeler story is one that never goes away, it just gets updated for a new generation.

Although Alyson is correct that the original 42nd Street song won't be this week's selection, I did find a number of other songs that stopped off on that particular thoroughfare, including...

Johnny Cougar - Taxi Dancer

Well, I don't know how long or how far her fortune did take her

But I heard she sits alone, drunk in a bar down on 42nd Street

And sometimes an old butch will slip a quarter into the jukebox

And she'll stagger to the bar and dance with that girl for free

(That's very early in his career, before he added the Mellencamp and eventually dropped the Cougar altogether.)

Todd Rundgren - Heavy Metal Kids

It's like a normal Times Square day on 42nd Street

I feel like trashing some windows and crunching some feet

I watch society crumble and I just laugh

They soon will see what it's like to be the other half

Bob Dylan - Talkin WWIII Blues (missed you this week, Swede... I love Talkin' Blues songs)

Well, I seen a Cadillac window uptown

And there was nobody aroun'

I got into the driver's seat

And I drove down 42nd Street

In my Cadillac

Good car to drive after a war

Janis Ian - 42nd Street Psycho Blues

But it was Rigid Digit who came up with the strongest 42nd Street contenders. First this...

Don McLean - Sister Fatima

The spirit of Fatima still rules the Earth

She knows your future, she knows what it's worth

Sister Fatima has God given powers

And on 42nd Street a shop that sells flowers

Is her palace come and be healed

And then this week's undisputed winner, a long-time favourite of mine. Why is it the winner? Because you don't mess around with Jim...

Uptown got it's hustlers

The bowery got it's bums

42nd street got big Jim walker

He's a pool shootin' son of a gun

Yeah, he big and dumb as a man can come

But he stronger than a country hoss

And when the bad folks all get together at night

You know they all call big Jim "boss"

41 next week... More slim pickings? Over to you guys...

Saturday Snapshots #7 - The Answers

Well, I think I actually won a couple this week. There were some stinkers though, so congrats for getting the ones you did...

As usual, I highly recommend giving the songs a listen if you don't know them. They're chosen because they're good ones!



10. Hatless, eyeless Mitchell, could be a Beach Boy... insists on keeping the central heating off.

Yes, as Lynchie points out, it does look a bit like "the late, great John Martyn after he's had a long weekend on the booze" (most weekends, then?) but it's not...

Hatless = Hats off... to Larry

Eyeless Mitchell = Joni without the i (well done, C)

Beach Boys = Wilson

Keeping the central heating on...?

Charity Chic got there in the end (with a little help from C), as I knew he would.

Larry Jon Wilson - Melt Not My Igloo

9. A future resident of Monaco shares Bond's Martini.

Alyson got up extra early to be first to spot this youngster... surely she couldn't possibly remember him when he looked like this?

Monaco = (Princess) Grace-land

Bond's Martini = shaken, not stirred

Elvis Presley - All Shook Up

8. Pretty good at bathroom renovation; will also clean up if she fancies you enough.

Took you a while, and caused much debate over what she was wearing...

Pretty = Bonnie

For your bathroom renovation, I'd recommend a good Tyler

Will clean up...?

Bonnie Tyler - Loving You's A Dirty Job, But Somebody's Got To Do It

The Swede & Alyson tag-teamed this one.

7. Twiddly diddly dee (generic version) have a slow teacher.

Gave Lynchie no problems at all - though CC was kicking himself.

Twiddly diddly dee = Rocking Robin, a more generic version woud be a Rockingbird

A slow teacher would have you Gradually Learning

The Rockingbirds - Gradually Learning

6. Holy Sidekicks, Batman - Gonzales was a mouse!

The one nobody got, which is a shame... but hardly surprising. The clues were pretty easy if you knew the band / track. But not many people do. More on that tomorrow...

Speedy - Boy Wonder

5. Liberal philosophy on the John: it's only a crowded house, geezer.

Big expert on liberal philosophers, me. Apparently, there's one called John Rawls.

The John is also what some people call a Loo.

Crowded House sang It's Only Natural.

A geezer is another name for a man.

Lou Rawls - A Natural Man

Lynchie was first to get Lou; nobody got the song.

4. Scissor Sisters' girl goes off road while eating too many chocolate bars.

The Swede swooped in to take this one.

The Scissor Sisters sang Laura.

If you go off the road, you might veer...

A popular chocolate bar in the UK is a Galaxy.

Laura Viers - Galaxies

3. Herbie & Hutch: THE HORROR!

I thought I was going to beat you with this one until The Swede dug deep...

Herbie was The Love Bug

Hutch was partnred with Starsky

The Amityville Horror was a favourite book and film when I was a teenager.

Lovebug Starski - Amityville (House On The Hill)

2. You've got zero chance of getting off without suffocating.

(Your first guess will probably be wrong.)

I knew this wouldn't trouble Alyson... though it took a while to get to the right song.

If you were suffocating, there might be a problem with your Air Supply.

Getting off is another way of saying "Making Love".

Zero = Nothing

Air Supply - Making Love Out Of Nothing At All

Second Steinman song of the week!

1. Jenny Agutter inspires a Schubert opera.

Took The Swede about five seconds...

The Lilac Time is the British name of Das Dreimäderlhaus, a Schubert light opera.


In the Railway Children, Jenny Agutter waved at trains.

The Lilac Time - The Girl Who Waves At Trains

My Top Ten Richard Songs

Ten songs about Richard... and not a dick in sight.

Special mentions to messrs. Wagner, Strauss, Hawley, Thompson, Ashcroft, Carpenter, Oakes, Reed Parry, Marx, Swift, Hell and Cheese... and, of course, Keef and Sir Cliff. Plus any other famous musical Richards you might think of.


10. The Faces - Pool Hall Richard

Hardly Ron and Ronnie's finest hour, here they lose at both pool and love due to the titular Rich. They may be the victims of their own dodgy lyrics though, not least the closing lines...

You're breakin' my heart
But you're stealin' my tart
Shut up

 There may also be more going on than just simple pool hall rivalry...

You make me jealous but I worship you
One day soon I'm gonna beat you clean
Wipe that smile right off your chin

...or that just could be my depraved mind.

9. The Lilac Time - Gone For A Burton 

Stephen Duffy pays homage to one of his celluloid heroes...

The night that Richard died
The newscasters cried...

I tried to google whether this was actually the case... google let me down.

8. First Aid Kit - Waltz For Richard

Great storytelling from the Söderberg sisters' debut album: a relationship falls apart, yet we're only given half the story...

On our last trip to the coast
We watched the boats sail the sea
'How effortlessly they float,'
You turned and said to me.

And sedately I sat there
In my quiet mist of rage
How I wanted to tell you
But I was hushed by my shame..

7. Titus Andronicus - Richard II or Extraordinary Popular Delusions and the Madness of Crowds

The New Jersey titans delve deeper into their Shakespearian roots - and also paraphrase this week's top song in one verse - in this angry dissection of why people do really bad things in times of war.

6. Frank Turner - Richard Divine

Frank's Richard can't cope with life; Frank has little sympathy for folk who give up without a fight...

He said he's not for sale, 
Said that he felt hounded, 
Crowded and surrounded by this life he didn't choose. 

But everybody plays this game on a daily basis. 
They're not heroes, 
They're survivors, 
And its not Shakespearean if they lose.

5. Sun Kil Moon - Song For Richard Collopy

A typically personal song from Mr. Kozelek, this deals with the disappearance / death of the bloke who fixed his broken guitars. It seems to be asking the question: in a case like this, do we mourn the individual or the loss of what they did for us?

See also Richard Ramirez Died Today of Natural Causes in which Kozelek considers his own mortality following the death (from cancer) of an infamous serial killer on death row.

4. Simon & Garfunkel - Richard Cory

Based on a poem by Edwin Arlington Robinson, Richard Cory is a song about envying the rich and powerful... even when they're bloody miserable.

So my mind was filled with wonder,
When the evening headlines read:
'Richard Cory went home last night
And put a bullet through his head'

And I - I work in his factory
And I curse the life I'm living
And I curse my poverty
And I wish that I could be
Oh, I wish that I could be...
Richard Cory

3. Supergrass - Richard III

One of Supergrass's loudest and most in-your-face singles, this also became one of their biggest hits: released at the height of their popularity in 1997 (yes, 18 years ago). It has nothing to do with the king buried in a car park or Shakespeare's hunchbacked villain. Apparently the 'grass had a habit of giving their songs people's names before they settled on an actually title and this was the third song they'd christened Richard. They decided to stick with Richard III because it seemed angry and bitter like the king (is often portrayed) himself.

2. Joni Mitchell - The Last Time I Saw Richard

Another artist at the height of her powers, Joni's Richard comes from her seminal album Blue. Legend has it the Richard in question is actually her ex-husband Chuck Mitchell, though I'm not sure whether Joni has ever confirmed this. Amazingly evocative lyrics on this one...

Richard got married to a figure skater
And he bought her a dishwasher and a coffee percolator
And he drinks at home now most nights with the TV on
And all the house lights left up bright...

1. Billy Bragg - Richard

There's a raw beauty to the songs on Billy's debut album, and it's no wonder that they caught John Peel's ear... although the mushroom biryani Billy bribed him with certainly helped. It was originally recorded by Billy and Wiggy's band Riff Raff.

Richard comes from the lovelorn side of Billy's songwriting spectrum (rather than the politically charged) and it's the kind of bittersweet ode to rejection only a young man could / should write... though even old men like me can remember what it felt like.

I really love your style
Did you read it on the Look and Learn?
How long can we go on?
Do you think I only love you
Because you sleep with other boys?

So which is your Richard Burton... and which is your Richard Whiteley?

My Top Ten Rollercoaster Songs

Following on from my Fairground Top Tens, Adrian requested "a Ronan Keating-free Rollercoaster Top Ten" over on Facebook. Well, I'm always happy to oblige... though I have a curious love/hate relationship with Ronan's biggest hit as it was written by former New Radicals man Gregg Alexander, and if he'd bothered to record it himself I can't help thinking I'd have liked it a lot more.

Adrian suggested both Fly by Moxy Früvous and Eleanor, Put Your Boots On by Franz Ferdinand, two excellent songs that both mention rollercoasters in the lyrics (see also Everyday by Buddy Holly)... but I decided to restrict myself to songs with titular rollercoasters (there were plenty to choose from).

So strap yourself in... and get ready for the ride of your life!  



10. Sleeper - Rollercoaster

From the final Sleeper album, the one so few people bought, I can't find this song anywhere online. A shame, because it's a cute little indie pop song which Louise & co. always excelled at.

9. The Whitest Boy Alive - Rollercoaster Ride

King of Convenience Erlend Øye's other band.

8. Helen Love - Rollercoasting

What if the Ramones were girls?

7. M Ward - Rollercoaster

The less perky Him to Zooey Deschanel's She goes on an unbelievable ride and gets some heavy metal dreams.

6. Machine Gun Fellatio - Rollercoaster

Thanks to Deano for pointing me in the direction of these mental Aussies. If the band name alone doesn't get them points, the video throws in the kitchen sink.

5. The Jesus & Mary Chain - Rollercoaster

Any theme park worth its salt should have a Jesus & Mary Chain Rollercoaster. That would be one hell of a ride.

4. Belle & Sebastian - The Rollercoaster Ride

If you were to remove your clothes d'you think the singer would notice?

There's not many bands who could deliver a line like that and make it heartbreaking.

3. Jonathan Richman & The Modern Lovers - Roller Coaster by the Sea

Jonathan is feeling bad.

Jonathan goes on a rollercoaster.

Jonathan gets knocked out of his head.

2. Stephen Duffy & The Lilac Time - The Rollercoaster Song

Sadly, I can only find a 30 second clip of this wonderful song online, but that's still enough to fall in love with....

I had a friend who treated love
Like a luxury development
On the other side of town
And one day his girl got up
And left and slammed the door
And his fine walls came falling down

But don't be blue, he built a fairground there
For you and I to ride

One of Adrian's biggest problems with that Ronan Keating song was the creakingly obvious metaphor of life being a rollercoaster. Here, Mr. Duffy has a similar go, calling love a rollercoaster... yet it's much, much sweeter. Conclusive proof that there are no bad metaphors, just metaphors used badly.

Or something.

1. The Ohio Players - Love Rollercoaster

There's a gruesome urban legend that the background scream around about the 2 1/2 minute mark in this song actually came from a woman being murdered in the studio during the recording. (Was it the engineer's girlfriend?) It's utter bogwash, of course, but you could believe just about anything when it comes to The Ohio Players. Those guys were mental.

Covered more recently by the Red Hot Chilli Peppers... but that wasn't a patch on the original.





As requested, ten rollercoaster songs and not a Ronan in sight. Any other scream-worthy suggestions?