So this happened.
Under normal circumstances, not the best of news. But considering I still have five weeks to serve in The Bad Place...
Monday, 20 September 2021
Sunday, 19 September 2021
Snapshots #207: A Top Ten Mirror Songs
Mirror, mirror on the wall, which is the best Saturday morning photo-based pop music quiz of them all?
Really? Shucks.
10. Aloe needs one.
Aloe Blacc sang I Need A Dollar.
9. Cots & copies.
Cots are cribs. You can also crib someone else's answers.
8. Western detectives come in all shades.
Pinkerton's Assorted Colours - Mirror Mirror
7. Aunt found in decrepit subject.
Aunt Sally in an old field (as in, "what's your field of study?")
6. Beach Boy goes to work for NASA.
Mike Love goes to work with Rockets.
Love & Rockets - Mirror People
5. Mixed up coin in silky tube.
The mixed up COIN is NICO.
The silky tube is obvious.
The Velvet Underground & Nico - I'll Be Your Mirror
4. Difficult to distinguish from your arse.
You just can't tell your arse from your elbow, can you?
3. Good for drums, eggs and carpets.
They're all things you might beat.
The Beat - Mirror In The Bathroom
2. Advanced scrapple.
Scrapple is an early form of Meatloaf. Apparently.
Meat Loaf - Objects In The Rear View Mirror May Appear Closer Than They Are
1. Founded in the year 2415 A.D.
This is where they got their name from.
More next Saturday...
Saturday, 18 September 2021
Saturday Snapshots #207
All of which has absolutely nothing to do with the quiz... your task, as always, is to identify the ten artists below and then work out what connects their tunes. I think it's a bit easier this week...
10. Aloe needs one.
9. Cots & copies.
8. Western detectives come in all shades.
7. Aunt found in decrepit subject.
6. Beach Boy goes to work for NASA.
5. Mixed up coin in silky tube.
4. Difficult to distinguish from your arse.
3. Good for drums, eggs and carpets.
2. Advanced scrapple.
1. Founded in the year 2415 A.D.
Answers tomorrow morning... though I doubt you'll need them.
Thursday, 16 September 2021
Cnut Songs #7: The Very Definition Of Futility
On Wednesday afternoon, for half an hour, I live the full King Cnut dream. There is no more perfect illustration of shouting at the sea than this. For Wednesday afternoon is my turn at Connect Duty. All managers (even lowly ones like myself) take their turn throughout the week... except the oily ones, who merely palm the task off on a lackey.
Connect Duty normally involves standing inside the security barriers at reception and making sure incoming students have an ID badge. If they don't, we send them to the desk to get a temporary pass. And we try our very best to stop the ones who buzz their badgeless friends in, or tailgate through the gates behind someone else.
This year though, Connect Duty has taken on an extra degree of responsibility. And herein lies the futility. Your mission, should you choose to accept it (and really, you don't have any choice) is to ensure that all incoming students have, and are wearing, a face-mask. (Except those with exemptions.)
And so you stand there with a little plastic basket of face masks, waving it at any student who enters without a mask. (You won't be surprised to hear, that's most of them.)
"Facemask, guys?"
"Do you need a mask?"
"Oh, you've got one - can you pop it on, please?"
I've written before about how I'm still supportive of facemasks and still wearing them myself whenever necessary, even though I'm often in the minority. But the futility here doesn't come from the often-belligerent responses I get to my entreaty...
"I'm not wearing a chuffing mask!" (My personal favourite. There's no sentence that can't be improved by a well-placed "chuffing".)
No, the futility comes as I'm doing my best to get all incoming students to wear a mask... while behind me, a hoard of outgoing students exit the college, not one of them wearing a mask.
Whatever our best intentions, I think that boat has sailed.
The futile, the futile, it outweighs the beautiful...
Wednesday, 15 September 2021
Mid-Life Crisis Songs #68: To-Do List
I'm amazed I still get time to write this blog, since I rarely have time to do anything else remotely pleasurable these days. I'm sure many of you feel the same.
However, those pesky Scientists have just announced that too much free time can make us depressed.
Whenever I read a study like that, my first thought is: who commissioned it? Probably the same government minister who told people who were having their benefits cut to "work more hours". We live in a culture where people are being actively encouraged (and oft times forced) to work longer hours than is good for them. That's one of the things that is killing many teachers, but I'm sure it's the same in many other professions... I dread to think what it's like in the NHS. Those who do it get no rewards (it's not as though those teachers working 90 hour weeks are claiming overtime) and those who refuse to do it (me, for one) are put under pressure from both management and peers for not pulling their weight.
Meanwhile, what time do we have for leisure and relaxation?
Oh, it's OK, the scientists just said we don't need it...
If you think you're busy though, spare a thought for the Felice Brothers. Their new single To-Do List puts us all to shame.
Wash all the pots and linen
Find a psychoanalyst
Go to the bank and deposit cheques
Sweep up the shattered dish
Return everything that I've borrowed
Change all the bloody gauze
Buy a spinach-coloured dinner jacket
Defy all natural laws
Ohhhhhh... cancel Better Homes & Gardens
Ohhhhhh... admire Gothic arches
Become a lot more happy
Build a maze of styrofoam
Befriend an unfortunate lunatic
Wail on a saxophone
(And that's just the first minute.)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
