One Track Summer #11: The Wedding Singer

Why did nobody tell me XXXXX had a new album out last year?

I could start a whole new series with that title. Forget the algorithms, they're useless. When I "LIKE" an artist, I'd expect the streaming service to tell me they've got a new record out. Maybe give it priority over another bloody Van Morrison live recording from 1969? 

It's just so hard to keep up.

Anyway, this time it's Jens Lekman, my favourite Swedish pop star, with apologies to Benny, Bjorn and Robyn. Songs for Other People's Weddings reveals that since 2004, Jens has been moonlighting as a wedding singer, and here he chronicles so of the bizarre experiences that's led to, with his customary wit and wisdom...

Waiting by the urinal
for my turn behind two guys
who are taking their time since they are
dressed in an oversized
tuxedo that combines
their bodies into one
Two arms, three legs, a bowtie
A smile as bright as the sun
As if they’ve been conjoined twins since time begun

Their names are Jun and Arthur, they’re getting married today
I’ve been hired as their wedding singer, they know me by the letter J
They’ve just learned that with a suit like this it’s hard to pee
So while one guy does his business, the other turns to me
And says sorry they couldn’t pay much and I say it’s fine
Cause I’m having the time of my life
The drinks are free and after all I
make a fortune from my streams on Spotify
And we laugh and they struggle to zip up their fly

If I'd known, I might have asked him to play at my wedding. Yeah, like I'd have been able to afford that...

One Track Summer #10: Geese & Cobras

Geese are from Brooklyn, and they've been kicking around for the past ten years, so I don't know why it's taken me so long to discover them. 

This track comes from their latest album, Getting Killed, released last year. It's wormed its way into my brain with repeated plays and it will not let go.

One Track Summer #9: Encyclopedi-ite

Billy Reeves was the songwriter and guitarist in 90s indie band theaudience, the group that gave Sophie Ellis-Bextor a leg up to stardom. This was their crowning glory...

theaudience - I Know Enough (I Don't Get Enough)

Billy left the group in '98 and he's had a pretty chequered history since then, including a near-fatal car accident in 2001 and a place in the Guinness Book of Records for releasing the world's first playable jigsaw puzzle with the band Sugar Coat in 2006.

Since then, he's worked as a journalist, a radio producer and a football commentator.

But he still makes music too, and this is from his lates album, Postwar, which will be out in August. And he's got the Bluebells backing him on this track, but don't let that put you off if you're George...

Your mum let me in

To your room

I felt like I was raiding

King Tut's Tomb

Namesakes #199: Holy Mackerel!

The phrase "Holy Mackerel!" didn't originate on the Batman TV show. Apparently it dates back much further, to the Black American radio comedy of the 1920s, Amos & Andy. Holy Guacamole, on the other hand, definitely came from Robin. Unfortunately, I couldn't find any bands called Holy Guacamole... so if you're looking for a name nobody's used...

Holy Mackerel, on the other hand... well, you wouldn't be the first.

THE HOLY MACKEREL #1

We start our fishy journey in LA in the year 1968, when songwriter Paul Williams failed the audition to become one of The Monkees. In retaliation, he formed The Holy Mackerel... though things didn't quite go to plan and the band's first three singles failed to make any ripples across the pond. By the time their debut album was released, the group were no more, though Williams went on to write hits for Three Dog Night and The Carpenters (including We've Only Just Begun).

The Holy Mackerel - Wildflowers

HOLY MACKEREL #2

A couple of years later, a British Holy Mackerel surfaced in Kent. To quote a blog post about this band from 2012, "In the early 1970s music was more polarized between quality and complete lack thereof than any time in the previous decade since the psychedelic era and the beat boom." The writer then goes on to slag off The Night Chicago Died by Paper Lace, so phooey to him.

I'll let George decide whether these guys represent quality or a complete lack thereof, but I quite like the tune below, which I first heard on Natasha Raskin-Sharp's old BBC Radio Scotland show before they kicked her off for playing records nobody'd ever heard of. Bastards.

Holy Mackerel - Going To The Country

THE HOLY MACKEREL #3

And then, in 1996... along comes Les Claypool, lead singer and bass player with offbeat American rock band Primus. Fancying something a little bit different on his day off, he formed his own Holy Mackerel... and even wrote an eponymous theme song...

Les Claypool & The Holy Mackerel - Holy Mackerel

THE HOLY MACKEREL #4

I have a number of reasons for including these guys, even though I'm sure they fall foul of regulations. Firstly, we should always give Christian Rock a chance. It's the Christian thing to do. Secondly, the photo above features some very bad cutting out and Pritt Stick arrangement - respect for that. Thirdly, it's bound to wind George up. Win - win - win,

The Holy Mackerel Praise Band - Take My Hand

HOLY MACKEREL #5

And if we allowed that, we should surely find it in our hearts to give these San Francisco dudes from 2018 a little love...

Johnny & The Holy Mackerels - Pink Tomfoolery 

HOLY MACKEREL #6

And finally, pray be seated for a German Holy Mackerel from 2020...

Holy Mackerel - Sit Down

Which is your Holy Mackerel... and which is just Guacamole?

One Track Summer #8: Heavy Foot

Mon Rovîa is named after the place of his birth, the capital of Liberia, on the West African coast.

I think he lives in Nashville now. He's certainly taken to playing Grand Ole Opry... but his sound isn't immediately the kind of thing you'd expect to hear there. 

There was a time when a lyric like this might have been more appropriate for certain parts of Africa than the USA. Nowadays... well, what do you think?

Do you see the man on the street

Just fighting for a meal to eat

You can write him off as a lunatic

But it coulda been you or me

If we didn't ever find our feet 

Love me now

Hold me down

And the government

Staying on heavy foot

And they tried to keep us all down

No they never gonna keep us all down

Snapshots #458: Songs From Hell

And I heard, as it were, the noise of thunder

One of the four beasts saying,

'Come and see.' and I saw, and behold a white horse...

Johnny Cash - The Man Comes Around

And I heard a voice in the midst of the four beasts

And I looked, and behold a pale horse

And his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him...

Hopefully none of you are going to Hell any time soon, but if you are... at least they'll have a decent playlist...

15. S/laughter.

The Killing Joke - Pandemonium

14. Cher airs her grievances.

"Cher airs" was an anagram.

Chris Rea - The Road To Hell (Part 2)

13. Hyper, cuff and chain... make him wary (almost).

Hyperlink, cufflink, chainlink. Wary becomes Wray.

Link Wray - Fire & Brimstone

12. Ginger was not a Northerner.

Geri Halliwell was Ginger Spice

Jeri Southern - Fire Down Below

11. They just keep coming around.

Orbital - Satan

10. Have you misplaced the camera, Mike?

"Camera, Mike" was an anagram.

Maria McKee - This Property Is Condemned

9. Be good in St. Julian's country.

Johnny B. Goode meets goes to Cope-Land.

Johnny Copeland - Sufferin' City

8. Strange faces.

Steve Strange's faces...

Visage - Damned Don't Cry

7. Not Fats Domino.

I think I might have used this clue in reverse at some point...

Chubby Checker - Limbo Rock

6. Royalty................................................................................ and me with a capital, in the Middle East.

Prince is Far from I (the pronoun with a capital letter).

Prince Far I and the Arabs - Out Of The Abyss

5. No longer on the sidewalk.

He used to be in Pavement, now he's just...

Stephen Malkmus & the Jicks - Houston Hades

4. Did they have Reds under their Beds?

McCarthy - In Purgatory

3. Politicians on the funicular. 

A funicular is a type of tram, with added MPs.

The Trammps - Disco Inferno

2. What a bunch of cows!

The Herd - From The Underworld

1. Ben's gal is confused, obviously.

"Ben's gal" was an anagram.

The Bangles - Eternal Flame

Bonus track today from HMHB...

Because "Hell is other people". Not the people playing this quiz though, so hopefully I'll see you all back here next Saturday...

Saturday Snapshots #458

I would do anything for Saturday Snapshots, but I won't do... that.

Here are some people to identify. Who are they and what connects their songs?

15. S/laughter.

14. Cher airs her grievances.

13. Hyper, cuff and chain... make him wary (almost).

12. Ginger was not a Northerner.

11. They just keep coming around.

10. Have you misplaced the camera, Mike?

9. Be good in St. Julian's country.

8. Strange faces.

7. Not Fats Domino.

6. Royalty............................................................... and me with a capital, in the Middle East.

5. No longer on the sidewalk.

4. Did they have Reds under their Beds?

3. Politicians on the funicular. 

2. What a bunch of cows!

1. Ben's gal is confused, obviously.

If you didn't get them all, remember: Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad.

Answers tomorrow.

One Track Summer #7: Better Things

Here's wishing you the bluest sky

And hoping something better comes tomorrow

Hoping all the verses rhyme

And the very best of choruses, too

Follow all the doubt and sadness

I know that better things are on the way

Here's hoping all the days ahead

Won't be as bitter as the ones behind you

Be an optimist instead

And somehow happiness will find you

Forget what happened yesterday

I know that better things are on the way

The Kinks really are a gift that keeps on giving.

One Track Summer #6: Watching Your Workplace Burn To The Ground

Is it a common fantasy to imagine your workplace burning to the ground?

Certainly, when I worked at The Bad Place, I would regularly hear the idea mooted, especially every time we had to go stand out in the car park for a fire drill. "Maybe this'll be the time...?"

Durry are from Minnesota. Here's a song they wrote about being a slave to the paycheque and hoping your workplace might one day become just a pile of ashes...

Celebrity Jukebox #82: Kevin Keegan

Usually it's Ben who informs me of the latest candidates for this feature, but yesterday morning it was Sam who announced that Kevin Keegan was no longer with us.

When I was growing up, I paid very little attention to sport, so I knew very few sporting celebrities. Ian Botham. Steve Davis. John McEnroe, obviously. But as football was the sport I liked the least (let's be honest: I actively hated it), my knowledge of footballers was worst of all. I went out of my way to not know who they were.

All that said, I knew Kevin Keegan. And not because of this...

Kevin Keegan - Head Over Heels In Love

I was pretty certain Nigel Blackwell must have mentioned Kevin Keegan in a song at some point, but all I could find was this...

Bubble perm

Ever since your bubble perm, 

I've gone ex-directory, just in case you need me

Half Man Half Biscuit - Everything's A.O.R.

Paul Heaton though, he gave Kevin the immortality he deserves...

Nearly, we were actually the reason

Footballer and popstar would perform

All they really wanted was cuddle and a hug

And an XXL like me to keep them warm

Nearly did I get myself run over

When Kevin Keegan clearly blew a kiss

Nearly did we get beat up by bouncers

When Elton John we caused his train to miss

Paul Heaton & Jacqui Abbott - Nearly Once

Here's something very loud, with an amusing title.

Mia Hope - My Sister Looks Like Kevin Keegan

And here's something a lot easier on the ears...

Rebecca Richman - Eglantine / Kevin Keegan's Waltz

And here's a tribute from a German ska band...

No Life Lost - Kevin Keegan

But like many of the stars featured in this jukebox, Kevin Keegan probably deserves a better song to eulogise him. 

Perhaps he can share one with Jennifer Finch, bass player with L7, who also sadly died of cancer earlier this week... 

Namesakes #198: The Bees

We keep hearing about how the bee is an endangered species... but that doesn't appear to be the case in the world of popular music. I couldn't believe how many bands I found named after bees... and this is just the start. Look out for further posts about The Honey Bees, The Bumble Bees, The Killer Bees and The King Bees... if I ever dare set foot in the hive again after today.

THE BEES #1

We start today in Harlem, 1954, with a cool little number from Billy "Blue" Bland and his Bees.

The Bees - Get Away, Baby

THE BEES #2

Next, some bluesy Cincinnati Bees from 1962 - oh yes!

The Bees - Oh Yes

THE BEES #3

It's been a while since we had any surfer rock on this feature, so here's some from '64. You can thank me later.

The Bees - Jadoo / Shy Boy

THE BEAS #4

There may be a spelling error here, but it's not going to prevent me from playing what may well prove to be today's best song. From 1965, who could resist Dr. Goldfoot And The Bikini Machine? From a movie of the same name, apparently.

The Beas - Doctor Goldfoot And The Bikini Machine

THE BEES #5

LA Bees from 1965, with added harmonica - always a bonus. Members of the group went on to join the W.C. Fields Memorial Electric String Band.

The Bees - Baby Let Me Follow You Down

THE BEES #6

More Californian Bees from 1966 on "Liverpool" records... presumably they thought that would help them cash in on the Merseybeat phenomenon.

The Bees - Voices Green And Purple

THE BEES #7

Skanking Jamaican Bees from 1967 from a group of musicians that discogs tells me had a wide variety of aliases (including E.K. Bunch, Pyramids Of Jamaica, Roy And Duke All Stars, Seven Letters, Sir Collins And The Earthquakes, Sonny & The Stoneagers, Symarip, The Alterations, The Bed Bugs, The Family Circle, The Jamaican Cousins, The Original Africans and The West Indians).

The Bees - Jesse James Rides Again

THE BEES #8

A swarm of Korean Bees from 1970.

Bees - 초원 (Prairie)

THE BEES #9

1973 brings us some French "jerk - pop - mooger - acid rock" according to the Tube of You. With added bagpipes if you stick around for the B-side.

The Bees - Hair-stylist / Bagpipes Are Back

THE BEES #10

Power Pop Bees from New Jersey in 1979 - that'll do for me.

The Bees - Already In Love / Shoehead

THE BEES #11

A splash of British Power Pop next, but it pales beside the previous offering, I'm afraid. Lead singer Rick Camp would go on to join the Blind Dog Beerbelly Blues Band.

Good advice for the ladies though...

The Bees - Leave Willie Alone

THE BEES #12

Austrian Schlager Bees from... I'm guessing some time in the early 80s, based on what they're wearing.

The Bees - Bleib Bei Mir

BEES #13

Greek Bees from 1984, aka Παντελής Καραχισαρίδης (Pantelis Karahisaridis), the drummer from Greek band Sharp Ties. (So why is he wearing a scarf?)

Bees - Maybe Someday

THE BEES #14

Funky South African Soul from 1988.

The Bees - She's a Witch (Tikoloshi)

THE BEES #15

Nigerian Reggae Bees, going to war in 1989...

The Bees - War

THE BEES #16

Sleazy Californian punk from 1998 - they soon changed their name to the Superbees, though the youtube poster believes that made them less super.

The Bees - Really Want To Know

THE BEES #17

The Bees I was most familiar with before I started this post. These Isle Of Man Bees released four albums between 2002 and 2010, and buzzed their way into the UK Top 30 in 2005 with a tune that Radcliffe & Maconie play on a regular basis. I might have seen them live at some point.

The Bees - Chicken Payback

THE BEES #18

Here's another band I was also familiar with, but only in their later life as The Silver Seas ("copyright issues" forced the name change... though curiously not for any of the other bands featured here today!).

They're from Nashville, though you probably wouldn't know that. Here they are in 2004...

The Bees - Starry Gazey Pie

THE BEES #19

Finally, two folky sisters from 2018. Don't be alarmed, they're from Barcelona.

The Bees - Albert

So then, Hive Mind, which Bees are best?