Mid-Life Crisis Songs #94: The Youngest Person In The Room

Last Tuesday, I was randomly scrolling through my inbox when I noticed an email from the website of Scottish singer-songwriter Jill Jackson. It seemed Jill would be performing live in the nearby village of Penistone the following evening, and tickets were still available... at a very affordable amount.

An aside... it's pronounced Pennis-ton, to rhyme with Dennis. So you can stop sniggering at the back.

Now I've never seen anyone play Penistone before, but this seemed like too good an opportunity to miss, particularly as it was Half Term week and I wouldn't have to be up at 6.30 the following morning. So I bought myself a ticket.

 

Wednesday was a busy day and I almost forgot all about the gig, but I remembered just in time to turn up at the Cubley Hall Hotel at 7.45. When I walked in, I found myself in a crowd of about 30 other people, and I was clearly the youngest person in the room. The guy who was running the gig seemed rather surprised to see me there, and I wondered if I'd stumbled into a private party.

"Is your name on my list?"

"I don't know... I've got a ticket..." I showed him the confirmation of my phone.

"Oh, right... what are you doing here then?"

"I've come to see Jill Jackson."

"Oh, good, good... how did you find out about it?"

"I got an email last night..."

"From me?"

"I don't think so. It was from Jill's website..."

It was a very confusing conversation, but in the end he found me a seat. It turned out I'd stumbled into a warm-up gig for a much bigger show Jill was playing the following evening, and she'd stopped off here on her way down to Birmingham as she was old friends with the guy on the door. But even though she was only playing to a crowd no bigger than a family barbecue (her description), she still gave it her all. Almost two hours of wonderful singing and witty storytelling, plus decent support from Kirk McElhinney, in the perfect venue. Everyone in the audience was there for the music, rather than drinking and socialising with the music as almost-forgotten aside. And so I chalked up my third gig of the year... with another three still to come. I've had to start a new scrap book! It's very exciting.

Oh, and for the record, I wasn't really the youngest person in the room. At only 44, I'm sorry, Ms. Jackson, but you're still just a lassie...

And here's the title track from Jill's latest album, based on the letters her grandfather sent home when he was a soldier in WWII...

Snapshots #295: A Top Ten Biblical Character Songs

Time for Sunday School! Did you get all the Biblical characters featured in yesterday's Top Ten Commandments? Here they are...

10. Runner gets biceps.

Anagram!

Bruce Springsteen - Adam Raised A Cain

Or you could have had...

Bruce Springsteen - Daniel In The Lion's Den

9. Perforations.

The Pierces - The Good Samaritan

8. Did they kill a mockingbird?

Go read To Kill A Mockingbird again. Boo didn't do it.

The Boo Radleys - Lazarus

7. Nick Drake will meet these guys later.

Nick Drake sang about it getting Bryter Later,

Brighter - Noah's Ark

6. A hijack on lamas.

Anagram!

Mahalia Jackson - Joshua Fit The Battle Of Jericho

5. Hurley, Montgomery, Olsen... I'm listening.

Three Elizabeths... and Frasier Crane.

Elizabeth Fraser - Moses

4. Syrups for long-haired hounds.

Wigs for Afghans.

The Afghan Whigs - John The Baptist

3. Grab the Boss by the horns, by a homeware store.

Bruce is the Boss. By the horns, by. The Range is a big shop.

Bruce Hornsby & The Range - Jacob's Ladder

I prefer the Huey Lewis version, but Bruce hasn't featured here before... and he did write the song.

2. Mix Orange with Mellow Yellow.

Jason Orange + Donovan...

Jason Donovan - Joseph (Any Dream Will Do)

1. Parrot Seeking / Moon Jets.

Two anagrams for the price of one... and two songs to boot!

Regina Spektor - Samson

Tom Jones - Delilah 

Let there be more next week.

Saturday Snapshots #295

Welcome back to The Greatest Show On Earth. I hope you're ready for another round of Snapshots. Identify the artists below and work out what connects their songs, please.

I hope you've got your vest on...

10. Runner gets biceps.

9. Perforations.

8. Did they kill a mockingbird?

7. Nick Drake will meet these guys later.

6. A hijack on lamas.

5. Hurley, Montgomery, Olsen... I'm listening.

4. Syrups for long-haired hounds.

3. Grab the Boss by the horns, by a homeware store.

2. Mix Orange with Mellow Yellow.

1. Parrot Seeking / Moon Jets.

Answers tomorrow - and remember: Soylent Green is people.

Self-Loathing Friday #4: The Bells!

Thia is Howell Dawdy, one of many artists I've discovered via my Celebrity Jukebox research, although I did mistakenly call him Howell Dandy in that post (now corrected), because what kind of surname is Dawdy? Anyway, Howell's a very talented musician, and a very funny guy to boot. I've been enjoying his most recent album, Smells Like Love, a lot over the past few months. I like it so much, I want to buy a physical copy... except Howell appears to be one of these new age hipster types who doesn't believe in wasting plastic, so his music is only available digitally. What is the world coming to?

Anyway, this is one of my favourite tunes from Smells Like Love, and it seemed like an appropriate one to revive Self-Loathing Friday with, if only for one week. Product Placement will probably return next week. This is a song about knowing you don't look good... in fact, Howell repeatedly compares himself to a walking corpse (in comparison to his partner who looks like an angel). This is my favourite verse though...

Never takes you long to get ready
And no matter what I do I look like hell
You look like the bell of the ball and I look like
I weathered a fall from the tower where I swing under the bells

Smells Like Love is available (digitally only!) from Bandcamp. Only 8 tracks, but every one's a winner...

Product Placement #15: Swarfega

We're getting into haymaking season. When I was a kid, that would mean that my dad and my brother would wake the tractor from hibernation and drag out all the other ancient haymaking contraptions. The mower. The turner. The baler. Inevitably, one - if not all - of them wouldn't be in working order, and so began the lengthy process of getting them ready for the job at hand. Although even when they were ready, they rarely lasted. They usually broke down halfway through the job, stranded amid the dusty rows of hay like a ship on a sandbank, waiting for someone who knew more about fixing farm machinery to come and sort them out. 

Afterwards, my dad would return to the house and scrub down his hands with Swarfega, from a rusty square tin just like the one above. Other 80s kids might see green slime and think of Ghostbusters or Tiswas, for me it'll always be reminiscent of summer.

Here are some songs that mention Swarfega, starting with some instrumental try-hardery from a band I never really got...

Kasabian - Swarfiga

Followed by a band who crop up here a lot, even though I like the idea of them more than the reality...

Sleaford Mods - Swarfega

Today's most appropriate song is this one. You'd definitely need some Swarfega after a lawnmower death. And it's surprisingly listenable... albeit only 26 seconds long...

Lawnmower Deth - Swarfega

After all that, I'm crying out for a biscuit. Here's half of one, with a song about remembering you need a tin of Swarfega when you're hiking up a famous Shropshire hill...

Half Man Half Biscuit - Descent of the Stiperstones

Under normal circumstances, that would have been the winner. But then Alison Goldfrapp turned up with an offer I couldn't refuse...

I want to run away with you
Your caravan and rabbit stew
Don't buy me candyfloss or bears
Swarfega fingers, I want you there

Steady on, love. Men of a certain age, and all that. Although it turns out Ms. Goldfrapp was born in 1966, so I'm still young enough to be her toyboy...