Product Placement Friday #14: Razzle

(Other, more recent, covers were considered and rejected, for obvious reasons.)

Inspired by John Medd's recent post about Playboy (which is "burlesque", in case you're casting aspersions John's way), I figured I would reach up to the top shelf for this week's Product Placement.

I would like to start by saying that I have never in my life bought a copy of Razzle, so my knowledge of said publication comes only from school-boy sniggering. We did once find a battered copy of something that might have been Razzle, stuffed inside a tree trunk in the local woods, but it was missing its cover so I can't be 100% sure. In this era of wall-to-wall internet porn, I even find myself nostalgic for scraps of yellowed, rain-damaged nudie books; they were like Blackbeard's treasure to 80's school kids.   

When I worked in radio advertising, there was a small newsagent's kiosk outside the building where staff would go to buy snacks. The guy who ran it was called Keith, and his top shelf magazines came in tasteful wrappers. One day, some of my colleagues got into one of those "Do you remember Spangles?" conversations that disrupt productivity in workplaces all across the country. The office wag began waxing lyrical about Razzles. "I used to love a good Razzle myself," making out that it was a chocolate bar from his youth. He then convinced the office junior to go ask Keith if he still sold Razzles. The office junior duly obliged, only to come back a few moments later with a confused look on their face... "Keith says you're winding me up?"

You may have laughed at that story. I laughed at the time. Would you think differently if I told you the office junior in question was a young woman? I've felt guilty about playing along with that joke over the years, wondering if I crossed the line into toxic masculinity for a moment. This was 20 years ago, and the young woman in question remained blissfully ignorant... although I guess she might have found out later. I still feel bad about it.

Well, that brought the mood down, didn't it? Let's cheer ourselves up with some songs about Razzle... not including any of the following...

Bill Haley - Razzle Dazzle

Shirley Bassey - Razzle Dazzle

Slade - Razzle Dazzle Man

No, none of those have anything to do with the infamous top shelf magazine.

This sounds like it might do...

Today it is my birthday so me and my friends
Took ourselves a trip to an old drive-in
Played some 80s hits on an old cassette
Bought a couple Razzles and some Raisinets

Summer Salt - Another Piece of the Cake

But since Summer Salt are from Austin, Texas, I think it's unlikely.

Martin has remarked repeatedly about this feature that he loves it when he knows for sure what song is coming at the end just from the blog post title. Some of you may think you've got today's final tune figured, and if so, I'm guessing it's this one...

Ian Dury - Razzle In My Pocket

No bout adoubt it, the b-side to Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll is a very amusing tune. But it wasn't actually the inspiration for today's post... and neither was John Medd! 

No, the song that sent me down this particularly sordid rabbit hole comes instead from an artist I only discovered last year (thanks to Khayem). This is from her latest album, one I've been enjoying a lot over the past couple of months, and the lyric in question sums up her style particularly well. It's what I'd call "faded debauchery"... Jarvis would approve, I'm sure.

You're cruising the cosmos, and I'm lying in bed
You're writing a novel, and I'm surfing the web
But I'm biding my time, you ain't seen nothing yet
I was a copy of Razzle, now I'm the Book of the Dead

Mid-Life Crisis Songs #92: Catching A Train Back In Time

On Thursday, the 3rd of October, 1996, I went to my first live gig. I was 24 year old... quite late to start gigging, but as I explained to Ben last week, "it took me that long to find some mates who were into music."

You could have stopped that after the first 9 words...

Thank you, Ben. See - he's not just there for the depressing political analysis.

Anyway, the first band I saw live were Ocean Colour Scene. I had a lot of time for them back in '96 - I still consider The Day We Caught The Train one of the greatest pop songs of the Britpop era - though I rather lost track of them around the dawn of the new Millennium. The cool kids told me it wasn't hip to like them anymore, and while I don't often pay attention to the cool kids... sometimes I do, subconsciously, at least... to my chagrin.

Last Friday, I took a time machine back 25 years when Simon Fowler & Oscar Harrison, half of OCS, played our local civic hall. It's a bizarre venue - the only other performance I've seen there is the local panto, written by the dad of one of Sam's school mates... although it's also the place where Louise and I attended ante-natal classes before Sam was born. "Foxy" Fowler remarked it was like playing a school assembly, and my back was screaming by the end of the night from sitting on the stiff, locked-together chairs, but the air was filled with nostalgia, so I pretended not to care.

The support act was also bizarre: former Dexys' bassist Pete Williams (and a young friend of his who thought he was Brian May). I didn't know Williams had a solo career, but he strikes me as the kind of bloke who's just glad to be alive and still making music after 40+ years in the business. He's no Kevin Rowland... but then who is?

Pete Williams - Heart Beats

The main event was well worth the wait... though I have to say that Simon doesn't exactly look like years have been kind to him, while Oscar looks pretty much the same as he did 25 years ago (with his teenage son on supporting percussion). The first half of the set was lesser known material, which clearly they enjoy playing more than the hits, but once the big tunes started coming, the audience were dancing in the aisles. (Not with my back.) Without guitar man Steve Craddock, they avoided the rockier tunes like The Riverboat Song and Hundred Mile High City, but everything else was as I remembered it, and we all caught a train at the end.

Here's a song from their breakthrough record that I'd forgotten all about, but the rest of the audience clearly hadn't...

Memory Mix Tape #23: Memento Mori

Last Friday, I wrote about how my dad was a smoker when I was growing up - first cigars, then a pipe... and then he quit, immediately, when the doctor told him he had to.

On Saturday, I went to see my mum (as I always do) and she said she had something for me. I couldn't believe the synchronicity when she showed me what it was... my dad's old cigar case and one of his pipes. This was just one of those moments... I'm sure I don't need to say anything else.

She also asked if I wanted any of his old tools. Dad was a joiner by trade and had lots of tools, but most of them will be more use to my nephew who's followed in his grandad's footsteps. All I took was the saw and the ruler above, because I haven't got either, but also because they both contain powerful memories. The ruler in particular, Dad would carry it with him in his overalls at all times. It'd always be sticking out of his pocket. This is years ago, he hadn't done any joinery in over a decade, but it's good to remember him as he was before, rather than an old man who struggled to even get up out of his chair. 

When Louise and I moved into our first house, I was pretty clueless about DIY. (Louise will tell you I still am, but I've learned a few things.) Dad came round and helped me put up a few shelves, just the basics, but it was a start. For years I'd watched him tinkering away and never really took any of it in. But I started to try when we got that house. One day the lock went on our old wooden front door. Dad came round, cut it out and fitted a new one. I can still see him standing there in the sunshine, with his bag of tools beside him on the doorstep. It wouldn't be long before he couldn't do that kind of thing anymore, but I know it meant a lot to him, to be able to help us while he could.

I asked Mum if there was one more thing I could have. The copper bracelet my dad wore to help with arthritic pain. Now, various studies say there's no proof these things help relieve arthritis in any way - hey, I've got the internet, so I checked! - but I've been getting pain in my wrists and thumb joints for some time now and I figure it won't hurt to try. There's another reason I wanted this bracelet though, and it's a much more morbid one, I'm afraid. 

When the undertaker came to take my dad away, she asked me if I wanted to remove any jewellery he had on. He'd stopped wearing his wedding ring some years back because he was scared it would he'd lose it. So all he had on was this bracelet. The last thing I did for my dad, the very last time I saw him, was to take this bracelet off his wrist. And now I'm wearing it. 

Martin wrote about BC Camplight back in April. He was a name I'd heard bandied about but not paid a lot of attention to. I still haven't got around to buying his new album (largely because I've just had to pay £480 for brakes and tyres), but I've been listening to this track a lot on one of my walking compilations. It reminds me of John Grant, and it's already a shoe-in for one of my songs of the year... my dad loved Die Hard too.

I am almost through watching Die Hard 2 for the 38th time

I would go insane

On a burning plane

I gotta block out most of the pain just like John McClane does

I wanna look myself in the eye and be a normal guy

And say some clever shit when I’m about to die

I told my Mom I wanted to kill myself

She said, "Brian, grow up

You're 40 years old, ain’t it time to stop that shit?"

But I can’t save the world

And by the way, Mom

I’m 41 and I’ve just begun

Namesakes #34: Wham!

Sometimes this features genuinely surprise me. I mean, come on, there can't be more than one band called Wham, can there?

Yes, there can. The only difference is that one of them favours an exclamation mark. Except that's not 100% accurate either...

WHAM #1

Our first onomatopoeic punch came from the U.S.A. (I can't narrow it down any more than that, I'm afraid), releasing one LP and a bunch of singles in the late 70s. They were also known as Super Band Wham and... wait for it... Wham! 

They returned in the mid-80s when... for some unknown reason... they'd re-christened themselves Jham. Or Jham!!

Here they are in all their funky disco glory...

  

WHAM! #2

Our next Wham! comes from Kuala Lum... OK, no they don't. It's George and Andrew, and they met at Bushey Meads school near Watford. They're probably the greatest pure pop band of the 80s, and yet they still managed to write songs about teenage pregnancy, parental argy bargy and unemployment. They made a catchy chorus out of the letters D-H-S-S, for god's sake! Show me somebody who doesn't love Wham! and I'll show you someone with all the joy sucked out of their. And I should know: I've had most of the joy sucked out of mine... yet I still love Wham!

For the record, in case you were wondering, Discogs tells me "They were briefly known in the United States as 'Wham! UK' because of a naming conflict with another band." But I'm guessing CBS sorted that one out pretty sharpish. Just ask Jham!

Still not convinced? Tune out the 80s production (if that's not to your taste), close your eyes and listen... to one of the greatest Motown tunes to come out of Watford...

I mean, it's no contest this week, is it? #1 was all very fine, nothing wrong with it at all, but if you tell me you prefer it to #2, I'll know you're only lying to wind me up. You've got to try harder than that...

 

Celebrity Jukebox #87: Gordon Lightfoot

Another month, another legend gone. Gordon Lightfoot may not be a household name in the UK, where his biggest hit barely scraped the Top 30, but he was loved and respected in his native Canada, in the US, and throughout the musical community, with everyone from Elvis to Dylan to Johnny Cash to Neil Young and Paul Weller singing his praises and covering his songs. My favourite Gordon Lightfoot composition is this one... though The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald comes a close second.

How does Gord (as he was billed on his earliest hits) fare on the jukebox? Well, unsurprisingly, he gets a lot of love from his fellow Canadians, starting with this guy...

She can wear high heels and flannel
She can look sexy in a toque
She likes snow storms and Gordon Lightfoot
And if you're lucky she'll love you

Dean Brody - Canadian Girls

If you're wondering what a toque is (pronounced too-k, apparently), wonder no more...

What happens when those Canadian Girls grow up? Well, their record collection gets a lot bigger, for a start...

Gordon Lightfoot, Andy Kim, Terry Jacks, Anne Murray, Joni Mitchell

Don't forget Neil Young

Should we include Justin Bieber? No!

Lucky Doug Fergus - Canadian Woman

Meanwhile, the Barenaked Ladies are convinced that Gordon Lightfoot's favourite snack is pasta...

Barenaked Ladies - The Canadian Snacktime Trilogy

Now, can we all stand up for the Canadian National Anthem... the rap version? 

Our national mascot's a damned beaver
O Canada, we love our beaver
Home o' Hell's Angels, the North CMP
Home of Gordon Lightfoot and nasty TV

Classified - Oh... Canada

Barrie is a city in Ontario, just north of Toronto. However, Barrie the band comes from Brooklyn, and here they are singing about Michigan. 

You never change your clothes
Cause denim fades so good
Station wagon with the panel wood
Gordon Lightfoot if I could
Your summer love was all you knew
There's nothing left to do
But go crazy on you

Barrie - Michigan

Outside of Gordon's home country, we arrive first in L.A. where Rivers Cuomo of Weezer has written a terrific tune about some of his favourite artists... and Gordon is the first one he mentions.

Gordon Lightfoot
Sang a song
About a boat
That sank in the lake

Weezer - Heart Songs

Mike Viola is a frequent collaborator of Panic! At The Disco, Jenny Lewis and Andrew Bird, among others. Here, he compiles a list of artists he'd "let in to a very secret club"...

Paul Kelly and the Messengers, Costello, Crowded House
Squeeze before that Rolling Stone review that smoked them out
The Clash, The Cars, The Who, Gordon Lightfoot, Joni Mitch
Graham Parker and the Figgs would definitely make the list

Mike Viola - Future Horror Hockey Game

Any Squeeze fans know which Rolling Stone interview he's referring to?

I'm unfamiliar with the work of El Paso's Salim Nourallah, but on the evidence before me today, he's worthy of further investigation...

If you married me, I'd get Tres Leches cake when you're sad
And to prove my love, go see Gordon Lightfoot with your dad

Salim Nourallah - If I Married You

And, in an effort to make this blog more educational...

That's a Tres Leches cake. Looks like a heart attack waiting to happen.

Howe Gelb from Giant Sand always raises a smile when I hear his tunes... even if I haven't got a clue what he's singing about.

Feeling about the brotherhood has got me down and up
To no good
Feeling about the brotherhood has even got me sitting here
Singing like Gordon Lightfoot

Giant Sand - Hood (View from a Heidelberg Hotel)

Plenty of songs mention the name Lightfoot in their title, not all of them are about the great man himself. I reckon these are though, one way or another...

Ramsay Midwood - Lightfoot

Brown Shoe - Lightfoot

Aengus Finnan - Lightfoot

Allister Thompson & Philippa Dowding - Lightfoot

Ashley Naylor - Gordon Lightfoot

Burton Cummings - Gordon Lightfoot Does Maggie May

It's back to Canada for today's final tune though, with a song that doesn't only pay tribute to Gordon Lightfoot... but also his backing band, including John Stockfish, Charlie McCoy and Red Shea...

And Lightfoot

Edwardian, suddenly striped

His hair blondish and poetic

He is less than vinyl perfect

His foot is a precise anchor for the husk and vibrance of his voice

He is the image of Alberta

The side street near Chicago

The grim beauty of Toronto

He is an artist

He is an artist

He is an artist painting Sistine masterpieces of pine and fur and backwoods

Still echoes long ago the winter night of black July and then the outcome

Of an early Cleveland rainfall

RIP, Gordon. As a songwriter, you could read our minds...