Snapshots #443: Sad Songs

All the best songs are sad songs... discuss.

15. She has natural recall.

"Natural recall" was an anagram.

Laura Cantrell - Pile of Woe

14. Wilson, Eagle and Confessor.

Jackie Wilson plus Eddie the Eagle Edwards and Edward the Confessor.

Jackie Edwards - I Feel So Bad

13. Switched on Doors album.

The Electric Soft Parade - No Need To Be Downhearted

12. Ocean getaway.

Billy Ocean needs a holiday.

Billie Holiday - Gloomy Sunday

And while we're on the subject of Billy Ocean, this came very close to inclusion but was judged too obvious by the selection committee...

Billy Ocean - There'll Be Sad Songs (To Make You Cry)

11. Foreigner Lou meets opinionated NME journalist.

Foreigner's lead singer is Lou Gramm. The opinionated NME scribe was Tony Parsons.

Gram Parsons - Return of the Grievous Angel

10. A spell-catcher... a bit like Wilson.

A witch, a bit like Wilson Pickett.

Pickettywitch (It's Like A) Sad Old Kinda Movie

9. This meths has really messed me up. 

This meths was clearly an anagram. And yes, I know The Smiths only appeared here a few weeks ago, but they had two excellent songs to share. First, the really obvious one...

The Smiths - Heaven Knows I'm Miserable Now 

And then this one...

The Smiths - Unhappy Birthday

Plus most of the rest of their back catalogue.

8. Someone get the key to help Henry out.

Quick! It sounds like Hank's locked in!

Hank Locklin - I Feel A Cry Coming On

7. Because I'm useless, I'll never work this one out.

As previously mentioned, I lack Self Esteem.

Self Esteem - Moody

6. Nice guy, causes a chain reaction.

Nice Guy Eddie and the hot rods in an nuclear reactor...

Eddie & The Hotrods - Teenage Depression

5. Turner round and look behind you...

They stepped out from behind Tina Turner (and hopefully got far away from Ike eventually).

The Ikettes - I'm Blue

4. Giants and Gods lose their religion.

Take away the religion from "Giants and Gods" and you're left with...

Giant Sand - Glum

3. Our Graham knows the answer.

"Our Graham" was the ever cheerful announcer on Blind Date, hosted by one...

Cilla Black - Surround Yourself With Sorrow

2. Their name is like an anagram.

Because in an anagram, you put the letters in a New Order.

New Order - Regret

1. Are you f-in' kidding me, James?

R-U-F-IN... although I should point out that he wasn't ever a James: he was christened Jimmy Lee Ruffin.

Jimmy Ruffin - What Becomes Of The Brokenhearted?

Happier Snapshots next Saturday (hopefully).

Product Placement #17: Ocean Spray

I drink Ocean Spray every day. It's not cheap, but it's much tastier than the supermarket equivalents with their artificial sweeteners that leave a nasty after-taste. I enjoy the taste, but drink it mostly for my immune system, and because I read somewhere it's good for your prostate. Which is important when you get to my age. Still, I wouldn't have thought of featuring Ocean Spray here... until I remembered a really obvious tune. 

First though... I could hardly do a post about Ocean Spray without featuring these guys...

The Cranberries - Dreams

I had to reject all the songs that referenced the spray of the ocean, rather than the delicious cranberry drink. Although I wasn't sure about this one. I mean, The Beach Boys clearly spend a lot of time by the sea... but what's their beverage of choice?

In the shade

Lemonade

In the sun 

Ocean Spray

The Beach Boys - It's OK

Wesley Willis, meanwhile appears to prefer a glass of Ocean Spray following slightly less relaxing pursuits... he is familiar with the brand's advertising strap-line though.

I murdered your family

I murdered your family

I murdered your family

I murdered your family

Rock over London

Rock on, Chicago

Ocean Spray - "Crave the wave!"

Wesley Willis - I Murdered Your Family

Speaking of advertising, clearly this dude was keen to pitch a campaign song...

I'm juiced up (I'm juiced up)

Ocean Spray (Ocean Spray)

I'm poured up (I'm poured up)

Let's drink some more today

Moneybagg Yo - Ocean Spray

Lots of rappers mention Ocean Spray as an alcoholic mixer. I drink it neat, myself, but please, do whatever you feel necessary, as it does help your health... and, apparently, your mood...

Goblins, vampyres, coming out to play

They be cutting the vodka with that Ocean Spray

Electric Six - Mood Is Improving

If you don't like to drink cranberry juice, Howe Gelb has a suggestion that involves pouring it onto a mirror that you've placed under your hotel room door to let the maids know you don't want it cleaning today. I wouldn't have found this one by looking, it just popped up by coincidence on shuffle the other day... 

Giant Sand - Hood (View from a Heidelburg Hotel)

Anyway... here's the song that had me kicking myself for not featuring Ocean Spray sooner. This is the first Manic Street Preachers lyric written by James Dean Bradfield. It's also one of their most direct and moving songs, as it deals with his mum dying of cancer and his memories of visiting her in hospital...

Oh, please stay awake

And then we can drink 

Some Ocean Spray

Celebrity Jukebox #87: Gordon Lightfoot

Another month, another legend gone. Gordon Lightfoot may not be a household name in the UK, where his biggest hit barely scraped the Top 30, but he was loved and respected in his native Canada, in the US, and throughout the musical community, with everyone from Elvis to Dylan to Johnny Cash to Neil Young and Paul Weller singing his praises and covering his songs. My favourite Gordon Lightfoot composition is this one... though The Wreck Of The Edmund Fitzgerald comes a close second.

How does Gord (as he was billed on his earliest hits) fare on the jukebox? Well, unsurprisingly, he gets a lot of love from his fellow Canadians, starting with this guy...

She can wear high heels and flannel
She can look sexy in a toque
She likes snow storms and Gordon Lightfoot
And if you're lucky she'll love you

Dean Brody - Canadian Girls

If you're wondering what a toque is (pronounced too-k, apparently), wonder no more...

What happens when those Canadian Girls grow up? Well, their record collection gets a lot bigger, for a start...

Gordon Lightfoot, Andy Kim, Terry Jacks, Anne Murray, Joni Mitchell

Don't forget Neil Young

Should we include Justin Bieber? No!

Lucky Doug Fergus - Canadian Woman

Meanwhile, the Barenaked Ladies are convinced that Gordon Lightfoot's favourite snack is pasta...

Barenaked Ladies - The Canadian Snacktime Trilogy

Now, can we all stand up for the Canadian National Anthem... the rap version? 

Our national mascot's a damned beaver
O Canada, we love our beaver
Home o' Hell's Angels, the North CMP
Home of Gordon Lightfoot and nasty TV

Classified - Oh... Canada

Barrie is a city in Ontario, just north of Toronto. However, Barrie the band comes from Brooklyn, and here they are singing about Michigan. 

You never change your clothes
Cause denim fades so good
Station wagon with the panel wood
Gordon Lightfoot if I could
Your summer love was all you knew
There's nothing left to do
But go crazy on you

Barrie - Michigan

Outside of Gordon's home country, we arrive first in L.A. where Rivers Cuomo of Weezer has written a terrific tune about some of his favourite artists... and Gordon is the first one he mentions.

Gordon Lightfoot
Sang a song
About a boat
That sank in the lake

Weezer - Heart Songs

Mike Viola is a frequent collaborator of Panic! At The Disco, Jenny Lewis and Andrew Bird, among others. Here, he compiles a list of artists he'd "let in to a very secret club"...

Paul Kelly and the Messengers, Costello, Crowded House
Squeeze before that Rolling Stone review that smoked them out
The Clash, The Cars, The Who, Gordon Lightfoot, Joni Mitch
Graham Parker and the Figgs would definitely make the list

Mike Viola - Future Horror Hockey Game

Any Squeeze fans know which Rolling Stone interview he's referring to?

I'm unfamiliar with the work of El Paso's Salim Nourallah, but on the evidence before me today, he's worthy of further investigation...

If you married me, I'd get Tres Leches cake when you're sad
And to prove my love, go see Gordon Lightfoot with your dad

Salim Nourallah - If I Married You

And, in an effort to make this blog more educational...

That's a Tres Leches cake. Looks like a heart attack waiting to happen.

Howe Gelb from Giant Sand always raises a smile when I hear his tunes... even if I haven't got a clue what he's singing about.

Feeling about the brotherhood has got me down and up
To no good
Feeling about the brotherhood has even got me sitting here
Singing like Gordon Lightfoot

Giant Sand - Hood (View from a Heidelberg Hotel)

Plenty of songs mention the name Lightfoot in their title, not all of them are about the great man himself. I reckon these are though, one way or another...

Ramsay Midwood - Lightfoot

Brown Shoe - Lightfoot

Aengus Finnan - Lightfoot

Allister Thompson & Philippa Dowding - Lightfoot

Ashley Naylor - Gordon Lightfoot

Burton Cummings - Gordon Lightfoot Does Maggie May

It's back to Canada for today's final tune though, with a song that doesn't only pay tribute to Gordon Lightfoot... but also his backing band, including John Stockfish, Charlie McCoy and Red Shea...

And Lightfoot

Edwardian, suddenly striped

His hair blondish and poetic

He is less than vinyl perfect

His foot is a precise anchor for the husk and vibrance of his voice

He is the image of Alberta

The side street near Chicago

The grim beauty of Toronto

He is an artist

He is an artist

He is an artist painting Sistine masterpieces of pine and fur and backwoods

Still echoes long ago the winter night of black July and then the outcome

Of an early Cleveland rainfall

RIP, Gordon. As a songwriter, you could read our minds...

Saturday Snapshots #180 - A Top Ten Sand Songs

If you're stuck in the House again this Sunday morning, here's yesterday's Snapshot answers. Don't be Laurie if you didn't get them all...

A TOP TEN SAND SONGS

10. Imaginary compilation album gets weighty.

As anyone who follows The Vinyl Villain will know, an Imaginary Compilation Album is an ICA. A heavy one would be a Metal-ICA.

Metallica - Enter Sandman

Still not a patch on this version...

9. USA, avenge NZ!

It was, of course, an anagram.

Suzanne Vega - Song of Sand

8. Fair lady leaves the Queen in the company of two killers. 

My Fair Lady was Eliza Doolittle.

The Queen is Elizabeth,

If Eliza left the Queen, all that would be left is Beth.

The two killers were Dennis Nilsen & Mark David Chapman.

Beth Nielsen Chapman - Sand & Water

7. Where to get a good kebab.

From the doner van, of course!

Donovan - Sand And Foam 

6. Done to spells, lines, eyes and shadows.

You cast spells, cast lines, cast your eyes and cast shadows.

Cast - Sandstorm

5. It's easier to get down on one knee when you're not so old.

It's easier to kneel when you're young.

Neil Young - Cowgirl In The Sand

4. Kick to restart - amazing!

A free kick, taken to restart a football game, could be a corner. An amazing one would be...

The Brilliant Corners - Delilah Sands

3. Sliced ballerina.

An anagram for the wonderful...

Belinda Carlisle - Circle In The Sand

2. Eponymously big.

Giant Sand - Sand

Or you could have had...

Giant Sand - Every Grain of Sand

1. Central arrears.

Core debts.

More Snapshots for you (and Hugh) next week...

Saturday Snapshots #69 - The Answers

Steady on, now ladies of a certain age... if you're Looking Through The Eyes of Love this morning, now's not the time to become a Daydreamer. We have serious business here - namely, the answers to yesterday morning's Saturday Snapshots.

Very quick recap today as I feel proper done in on Saturday night, so no time for the usual shout-outs, I'm afraid, other than to say 'Welcome back, Lynchie' and apologise to Chris if this was a hard one. Every week somebody different says it's a hard one, so that must be variety, eclecticism or maybe I'm just running out of 'easy ones'.

If I Didn't Care, I'd wouldn't reveal the answers right now...



10. Inheriting the chocolate factory made him a millionaire... now all he needs is the perfect woman!

Charlie & The Chocolate Factory.

Millionaires are rich.

Remember: beauty is in the eye of the beholder!

Charlie Rich - The Most Beautiful Girl In The World

9. New York card game presided over by Dylan & Steve.

Bob Dylan.

Steve Earle.

Bob & Earl - Harlem Shuffle

8. Frank & Cilla's children refuse to instruct disco partners.

Frank & Cilla would have...

Black Kids - I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance With You

7. Cool daddio, this would be a groovy place... if it wasn't for those chuffing chimps!

Cool daddio, are you digging my scene?

Not with blowing monkeys!

The Blow Monkeys - Digging Your Scene

6. A load of nutters love the rain.

10,000 Maniacs - Like The Weather

5. Throw away two-faced champions and switch on the idiot box.

Disposable Heroes of Hiphoprisy - Television (The Drug of the Nation)

4. Big beach lured by tasty chucky.

Giant Sand - Temptation of Egg

3. Use a crowbar to break into Peter Pan's house... but it might not topple easily.

Jimmy your way into Cliff's house...

Jimmy Cliff - The Harder They Fall

2. Lost your valentine? Try the carousel.

Fairground Attraction - Find My Love

1. Enlarge General to solve cardiac problems.

Enlarge & General are both anagrams.

Al Green - How Can You Mend A Broken Heart?



Cherish these songs until next Saturday. How Can I Be Sure you'll be back? Well, Breaking Up Is Hard To Do...

My Top Ten Egg Songs

Happy Easter - have an egg or ten on me.

Special mention to The Eggs, The Lovely Eggs and... Paul McCartney's Scrambled Eggs.



10. Adam & The Ants -  Never Trust A Man (With Egg On His Face)

That's what the voices from outer space tell me...

9. Beastie Boys - Egg Raid On Mojo

Before they discovered / invented / purloined rap, it seems the Beasties were punks at heart.

See also Egg Man, which sounds more like the Beasties you'd expect. 

8. The Flaming Lips - They Punctured My Yolk

A love story about two trainee astronauts torn apart when only one of them gets to go into space.

Or something.

7. The Seahorses - Happiness Is Egg-Shaped

From a great lost Britpop album that you could probably pick up for tuppence on Amazon if you went looking.

6. Tarnation - Little Black Egg

A lot more jangly than I remember.

Then I discovered... it's actually a cover of an old 60s hit by a Florida garage band called The Nightcrawlers. 

Not bad... but I still prefer the Tarnation version.

5. The Human League - Being Boiled

One of the earliest entirely electronic records... get boiled alive by those synths. No idea what the lyrics are about though. 

4. Fight Like Apes - Poached Eggs

If I'm understanding the metaphors correctly, this song is filthy...

3. Tom Waits - Eggs And Sausage (In A Cadillac With Susan Michelson)

Already featured in my Top Ten Breakfast Songs, but far too good to leave out of this list.

2. Giant Sand - Temptation of Egg

The shape of a woman... temptation of egg

If you've never heard this before, please give it a spin. It's both exceedingly cool and slightly scary.

I wake up with something in my eye.
I pull out one of your lashes
I like the way you stuck in my eye.
I like the way my eye stashes.

1. Mansun - Egg Shaped Fred

Mansun go all 'Coo-Coo-Cachoo' on us, inviting Egg Shaped Fred for tea.

Those were days...




Which one's your Easter Egg?

My Top Ten Deadly Christmas Songs

It's not only soap operas that fill our Christmases with death, suicide and murder. The festive season can be the deadliest time of year in the world of pop too...


10. Johnny Cash - Delia's Gone

Nothing to do with poisoning Delia Smith's Christmas cake.

Although the lyrics don't make direct reference to it, the real life crime that inspired this classic murder ballad took place on Christmas Eve 1900. In the video Johnny Cash recorded for the American Recordings sessions, Delia is played by Kate Moss. Johnny ties her to a chair, shoots her in the side, and buries her in a shallow grave. A smashing Christmas present to anyone who thinks she's a pointless stick.

She was low down and trifling
And she was cold and mean
Kind of evil make me want to
Grab my sub machine
Delia's gone, one more round
Delia's gone

9.The Sensational Alex Harvey Band - There's No Lights On The Christmas Tree, Mother, They're Burning Big Louie Tonight

Do they really execute people on Christmas Eve? They do in Alex Harvey Land...

8. Carolina Buddies - The Murder of the Lawson Family

Another murder ballad inspired by a grim Christmas crime. This is what happens when you're forced to spend too much time with your family over the festive season... 

7. Giant Sand - Thank You, Dreaded Black Ice, Thank You

I think you can probably guess where this one ends up... but you'd be wrong. Howie Gelb makes the most of a pile-up on the interstate by using it as an excuse to stay the night with his new lady...

6. Glasvegas - Fuck You, It's Over

Meanwhile, Glasvegas spend the festive season getting all bent out of shape by bitter memories of an ex-lover. Good will to all men and women... unless they dumped you during the preceding year.

Remember it when,
You promised me how,
This time this Christmas things would be different by now...

All I wanted was to be,
Where your heart is,
But that's all changed now,
Now you're dead to me

(Repeat last line to fade.)

5. Simon & Garfunkel - Silent Night / Seven O'Clock News

In which Paul and Art bring yuletide cheer to all by mixing a sweet performance of the timeless carol with 70s news reports of war, assassination and mass murder. The old funsters.

4. Ben Folds - Bizarre Christmas Incident

Ben wakes up on Christmas morning to find the corpse of a fat man with a big white beard stuck in his chimney...

Well, honey call the lawyers fast
'Cos Mrs. Claus is gonna sue my ass!

On a far more serious note, I'd also recommend BF's song Brick, the heartbreaking story of a young couple faced with a post-Christmas abortion.

3. Jona Lewie - Stop The Cavalry

The perennial favourite about not dying for your country at Christmas time.

2. Bonnie 'Prince' Billy & Dawn McCarthy - Christmas Eve Can Kill You

The best new Christmas single I've heard this year... although it's actually a cover of an old Everly Brothers tearjerker. The message appears to be: if that hitchhiker you don't stop to pick up when you're driving back to your loved ones in the snow on Christmas Eve doesn't make it home alive... you'll be to blame.

Of course, if you do stop to pick him up, he'll probably turn out to be a serial killer. But maybe that's next year's song.

1. The Killers - Don't Shoot Me, Santa

The Killers release a new Christmas song every year, but this is my favourite. And Brandon Flowers' Christmas jumper is tops!



So, you survived my Christmas killing spree... but what's your fatal festive favourite?