Snapshots #377 - A Top Ten Carry On Songs

We watched the movie Carry On starring Jason Bateman and Elton John over Christmas. It's basically a PG version of Die Hard II. Even worse, there's no sign of Babs, Kenneth, Jim Dale or Sid...

Here are ten Carry On songs... 

10. Disorder in newborns.

Babyshambles - Carry On Up The Morning

9. Superman grew up in a right state.

Superman grew up in Smallville, which is in Kansas...

Kansas - Carry On Wayward Son

8. The Beach Boys sang about them three times.

The Beach Boys sang Fun Fun Fun...

Fun. - Carry On

7. Policeman stuck in a freezing watering hole.

Bobby Caldwell - Carry On

6. The oafish blue tutu is quite baffling.

"The oafish blue tutu" was an anagram...

The Beautiful South - Good As Gold (Carry On Regardless)

5. June and July, in the calendar.

J&J. Cale is in the calendar.

JJ Cale - Carry On

4. Woodhill Bay and Kilkenny Bay.

Woodhill Bay and Kilkenny Bay are also known as Portishead Beach.

Portishead - We Carry On

3. Reed, Sue, Johnny and Ben.

Otherwise known as...

The Fantastic Four - I'm Gonna Carry On

2. Dr. Julius Strangepork.

Piiiiigs in spaaaaace!!!

Spacehog - Carry On

1. Crime Scene: New York.

CS: NY...

Crosby, Stills & Nash - Carry On

OK, you an carry on about your day now.

Snapshots will carry on next Saturday...

The United Kingdom of Song #15: Doncaster

I went to Doncaster yesterday. It was a lot further than I thought it would be, so I was late.

I never saw the castle.

Jeremy Clarkson comes from Donnie. But don't blame Donnie for that. Tony Christie was also born a few miles away. Emma Peel from The Avengers and the only woman ever to marry James Bond... tragically... Dame Diana Rigg also hails from the town. And the guitarist from Babyshambles. Who's probably a lot less annoying than Pete Docherty.

Best of all though... John Parr, he of St. Elmo's Fire fame... recently featured on Saturday Snapshots... originates from Donnie according to iffypedia (although he was born in nearby Worksop). Oh, and if you think John Parr only ever did St. Elmo's Fire, you're obviously not familiar with his Number One American Rock hit Naughty Naughty. You owe it to yourself to watch that video, while reminding yourself throughout... This. Man. Is. From. Doncaster.

I could only find one song that mentions Doncaster. It's from Manchester band the Courteeners and it also mentions Dundee... but I'm sure I'll find other songs for Dundee when we get up there. Anyway, this is a good song by a band who deserve more credit. They're kind of what Oasis could have been... if Oasis had been any good. Lead singer Liam Fray has a little of bit of Morrissey in his vocal style too... you could say he's like a Morrissey with some strings.

I miss the city I love but I've been having an affair

With L.A and New York, 

Dundee and Doncaster 

If you should care. 

My Top Ten Carry On Songs

I was never a fan of the Carry On films, "Great" British comedy institution though they may be. But there are some blinding Carry On songs...



10. Babyshambles - Carry on Up the Morning

One of the better post-Libertines Pete Doherty songs. There aren't that many.

9. Tim McGraw - Carry On

All those people who think modern country music comes with a big wedge of cheese are mostly wrong. In Tim McGraw's case, however... 

8. Half Man Half Biscuit - Carry on Cremating

The song closest to the true spirit of the Carry On movies... at least in Nigel Blackwell's indefatigable Britishness... and his "tribute" to one of the big Carry On stars of olde...

Oh, they’re still cremating Hattie Jacques, I am not surprised
Come on now, let’s face it, she was fat
It usually takes for ever trying to burn the grossly oversized
Who would ever want to look like that?
She had a face that could launch a thousand dredgers
I could never get her on my portable TV

7. Van Morrison - Carry on Regardless

 There's a tiny part of me thinks all post-70s Van Morrison records sound like someone doing a very good impersonation. Of course, I'd never tell Van The Man that... with his reputation!?

(Plus, I think he nicked some guitars from Lady Madonna here. Shh. Let's pretend we didn't notice.)

6. Portishead - We Carry On

 Creepy and disturbing in the way all the best Portishead records are.

5. Spacehog - Carry On

Leeds band Spacehog had more success in the States than back home. Iffypedia tells me they met in a cafe where one of the band members was working as an exterminator.

4. Crosby, Stills, Nash & Young - Carry On

 Timeless. (This is where Fleet Foxes got their mojo.)

3. Kansas - Carry On, Wayward Son

Pompous prog lyrics saved by a glorious chorus and majestic guitars. Glorious, in its way.

2. Fun. - Carry On

Is it me, or does Nate Ruess look like a young (Marky) Mark Wahlberg? He writes far better songs though. And has more conviction.

Why do I like Fun. so much? They do exactly what it says on the tin. 

1. Beautiful South - Good As Gold (Stupid As Mud)

Yes, my Number One Carry On song doesn't feature the words Carry On in its title. Bite me. They're all over the chorus. One of the Beautiful South's most life-affirming songs, with a video to match in which Heato and the gang go for a bike ride in the countryside... with added elephant.

I want my sun-drenched, wind-swept Ingrid Bergman kiss
Not in the next life
I want it in this

Carry on commenting...

My Top Ten (Specific) Mountain Songs

There are hundreds of songs that feature the word "mountain" in their title, and climbing mountains as a way of demonstrating your love is one of the biggest songwriting clichés going. But these are my favourite songs about specific mountains, ones you could actually go climb... if you so wished.  


10. Tribes - Himalaya

A suitably epic sounding guitarathon. 

9. Beth Orton - Mount Washington

Turns out there are dozens of Mount Washingtons in North America - 15 in the USA alone, plus one in Canada. They'd all have to go some to be as beautiful as Beth Orton's song though.

8. Don McLean - Mountains O'Mourne

Originally written by Percy French back in 1896, perfectly suited to McClean's storytelling singing style.  

7. Doves - Snowden

Doves might have climbed higher had they spelled Snowdon correctly. As it is, I'm not actually sure this has anything to do with Wales's highest peak. 

6. Joe Walsh - Rocky Mountain Way

This is one mountain where you're guaranteed to see an Eagle. Badum-tish.

See also John Denver - Rocky Mountain High.

5. Half Man Half Biscuit - Lord Hereford’s Knob

Another Welsh mountain, otherwise known as Twmpa (hence "Could this be heaven, would that be the Severn? Twmpa, Twmpa, you’re gonna need a jumper"), inspires one of Nigel Blackwell's many songs about hill-walking and mountain-climbing... with a smattering of innuendo to warm the cockles.

Ever since the chattering classes invaded Hebden Bridge
And priced the likes of me and mine
To the pots of the Pennine Ridge
To South East Wales I was forced to flee
And now I have no job
That’s why tonight I’m sitting on top of Lord Hereford’s Knob

4. Fleet Foxes - Blue Ridge Mountains

Like the ghost of a song heard on an impossible radio. Gorgeous.

Of course, the Blue Ridge Mountains were also popular with Laurel & Hardy fans.

3. Babyshambles - Killamangiro

A terrible pun, but a great song. 

See also Kilimanjaro by the Teardrop Explodes which is a classic album, although the title track wasn't on the original track listing and isn't available to link to anywhere on t'internet.

2. Modest Mussorgsky - A Night On Bare (Bald) Mountain

And now for something even older than The Mountains of Mourne - a truly majestic piece of Classical music, though there's some debate over whether the Russian translation of the title should be 'bare' or 'bald'... or, indeed, whether the version we're all familiar with owes slightly more to Rimsky-Korsakov than Mussorgsky. I don't claim to be an expert. 

1. The Supernaturals - Everest

The world's biggest mountain... and one of the best songs the Supernaturals ever recorded, gently mocking the whole "my love is bigger than a mountain" metaphor mentioned earlier.

I bought a goldfish to keep me company
In these dark days when you're not here with me
I walk round Safeway on my own
Look in the freezer cabinet, see my reflection and I'm all alone

You dropped me like a waitress drops a tray...

Those were my SPECIFIC mountain songs... remember, Ain't No Mountain High Enough doesn't count.

Which will you be climbing tonight?