Saturday Snapshots #48 - The Answers

Don't Ask Me Why Saturday Snapshots has become the most clicked-on post on this blog. Probably because there's much less of me wittering on than on all the other posts and far more top tunes.

This week there was a photo-finish between Lynchie & Rigid Digit, both on 3 points, both typing the words "Joe Walsh" at 8:58 on the dot, but RD took the crown by a nose. Nailbiting stuff, though Charity Chic had to drop by and identify the song in question later.

Anyway, here are this week's answers... Would I Lie To You?


10. Motown records go twang, dude.

Motown was Detroit.

Records spin on a turntable.

Rubber bands go twang.

Dudes are men.

The Detroit Spinners - Rubberband Man

9. Listening to Louise's old band in the early hours of 11.12.06.

Louise was in Eternal.

The early hours would be 3am.

11/12/06 are the numbers corresponding to letters K/L/F in the alphabet.

Took a while to get the song, but C identified it first.

KLF - 3am Eternal


8. What The Beatles did after She Loves You to show off their genetic male dominance.

After She Loves You, The Beatles sang Yeah Yeah Yeah.

Y is the male chromosome.

Dominance is control.

The Yeah Yeah Yeahs - Y Control

7. As easy as Burt Bacharach.

As easy as ABC.

Burt Bacharach wrote (a different song called) The Look of Love.

Top Ten cheesy 80s videos of all time? Go!

ABC - The Look of Love

6. Butch Cassidy feels more than a few raindrops on his head... probably the result of changing wind patterns.

Butch Cassidy was Paul Newman.

More than a few raindrops would be a Thunderclap.

Changing wind patterns would be Something In The Air.

(I'm glad you guys worked that one out because it's a couple of weeks since I wrote that clue and I couldn't remember who it was!)

Thunderclap Newman - Something In The Air

5. One particular smooch on a religious street of blues.

Religion is faith.

Hill Street Blues.

Well done, Chris.

I wish Americans would learn to pronounce "centrifugal" properly.

Faith Hill - This Kiss 

4. Not a bad innings for a Jamaican cricketer who likes his coffee.

"Not a bad innings" is what people say when someone's had a good life.

Courtney Walsh was a Jamaican cricketer.

Coffee is "a cup of Joe". (Though I appreciated Lynchie's attempt at getting to Rocky Mountain Way via Blue Mountain Coffee.)

Joe Walsh - Life's Been Good

3. Blimey, Gordon! Reykjavik is a now a matriarchy.

"Gordon Bennet!" is an expression which means, "Blimey!"

Reykjavik is in Iceland.

A matriarchy... that's your mum, that is.

Hometown heroes for Rigid Digit! Lost Britpop classic...

Bennet - Mum Has Gone To Iceland

2. Jesus and Harrison Ford try for a close encounter.

Jesus and Harrison Ford were both carpenters.

A close encounter may be the result of trying to get in touch with beings from outer space.

The Carpenters - Calling Occupants of Interplanetary Craft

(How long till I can use Klaatu here now?)

1. I know this place like half a big cat (or car).

Half a jaguar is a jag.

I know this place like the back of my hand.

Amazed it took till 9:45 to get this one. I was about to comment on that yesterday morning when CC saved me the trouble...



There Must Be An Angel Playing With My Heart, because Saturday Snapshots will be back next week.

My Top Ten 'When I Am King...' Songs

You could argue, of course, that pop stars already live like kings and queens, so the fact that they're always whinging about what they'd do if they had even more power and wealth is somewhat ironic. But what do we know? Peasants and commoners like us will never understand the woes of the rich and famous. (My humblest apologies if you are either rich or famous and still reading this. Please don't have me beheaded for my disrespect.)

Anyway, here's ten of the buggers to tell us about their kingly dreams...


10. Joe Walsh - Fun

Well, if I was king I'd sign a proclamation
And if I was president I'd pass a law
And I'd call for a full-blown Senate investigation
Of everyone who wasn't having fun

Joe Walsh did actually run for president in 1980, promising to make Life's Been Good the American national anthem and that he'd give free gas to everyone. Reagan still won by a landslide.

9. Marillion - Lavender

When Fish is king, dilly, dilly...

I haven't been able to take this seriously since Julia Davis danced to it in Nighty Night.

While we're in the 80s, I'd like to give a shout out to UB40 - Kingston Town...

And when I am king,
surely I would need a queen
And a palace and everything, yeah
And now I am king,
And my queen will come at dawn
She'll be waiting in Kingston Town

...and The Thompson Twins - King For A Day. (Tom would give it all away.)

And, though not actually from the 80s, really sounding like they should be: Steel Panther - If I Was The King... I think you might call that one NSFW, though I'm reliably informed it's a parody, they don't really think like that...

8. Great Big Sea - When I Am King

Great Big Sea are described by the interweb as a "Canadian folk-rock band" which makes me think of The Levellers with a maple leaf. So imagine my surprise when I discover they sound like Smash Mouth and The Offspring. Still, nice sentiment...

Well, the war's been won
All the fights are fought
You find yourself in just the spot
It's a place where everybody's got a song to sing
Just like the final movie scene
The prince will find his perfect queen
The hero always saves the world
The villains get what they deserve
The boy will always get the girl
When I am king

Also from the Charity Shop Roulette pile, and sounding not entirely dissimilar... Forever The Sickest Kids - King For A Day.

7. Three Dog Night - Joy To The World

If I were the king of the world
Tell you what I'd do
I'd throw away the cars and the bars and the war
Make sweet love to you

Well, that's very nice of you, Chuck, but I think I'll pass.

(Three Dog Night had about 300 lead singers. Chuck Negron sung this one. It was written by the mighty Hoyt Axton. That's all you need to know.)

6. XTC - King For A Day

Leave it to Colin ('cos he wrote this one: I did check, just for JC) and Andy to bring us back down to earth...

I have a feeling that when these guys are kings, there won't be any kings anymore.

Well the way that we're living,
Is all take and no giving,
There's nothing to believe in,
The loudest mouth will hail the new found way,
To be king for a day

Similar party pooping sentiments come from Tom Petty - It's Good To Be King.

5. Weezer - King of the World

If Rivers Cuomo was king of the world, we'd all be able to ride a greyhound all the way to the Galapagos and stay for the rest of our lives. Which would be nice.

We are the small fish
We swim together
No Prozac or Valium
We’ll face tsunamis together

4. Gene - We Could Be Kings

Sadly, this planet never was theirs: but it really should have been with songs as good as this.

3. The Magnetic Fields - '80: London By Jetpack

Another one from Stephin Merritt's mighty 50 Song Memoir, which I'm still enjoying the hell out of even though I'm only on disc 2. I'll have to feature some more songs from this disc soon as it's a cracker. Anyhoo...

When I am monarch of the world
Weighed down by matters weighty
I'll live in London once more
And decree it's 1980
That all may dress as Pierrots
And pirates, like their king
And all will have jetpacks
From club to club we'll go zooming

At the club with no name
We'll dance again
Vivienne Westwood
Will be my queen

2. Neil Diamond - I Am, I Said

Did you ever read about a frog who dreamed of being a king... and then became one?

Turns out that frog was Neil. And what did he do with his kingly success?

Go into therapy... and write one of his very best songs while he was there.

1. Radiohead - Paranoid Android

Radiohead's Bohemian Rhapsody. When Thom Yorke is king, we'll all be first against the wall...





As you may have noticed, I couldn't find any songs about what Joni Mitchell, Kate Bush or Annie Lennox would do if they were queen for the day*. Hmm... I wonder what that tells us...

(*I am, however, happy for you to suggest them.)

What would you do if you were king / queen for a day?

My Top Ten (Specific) Mountain Songs

There are hundreds of songs that feature the word "mountain" in their title, and climbing mountains as a way of demonstrating your love is one of the biggest songwriting clichés going. But these are my favourite songs about specific mountains, ones you could actually go climb... if you so wished.  


10. Tribes - Himalaya

A suitably epic sounding guitarathon. 

9. Beth Orton - Mount Washington

Turns out there are dozens of Mount Washingtons in North America - 15 in the USA alone, plus one in Canada. They'd all have to go some to be as beautiful as Beth Orton's song though.

8. Don McLean - Mountains O'Mourne

Originally written by Percy French back in 1896, perfectly suited to McClean's storytelling singing style.  

7. Doves - Snowden

Doves might have climbed higher had they spelled Snowdon correctly. As it is, I'm not actually sure this has anything to do with Wales's highest peak. 

6. Joe Walsh - Rocky Mountain Way

This is one mountain where you're guaranteed to see an Eagle. Badum-tish.

See also John Denver - Rocky Mountain High.

5. Half Man Half Biscuit - Lord Hereford’s Knob

Another Welsh mountain, otherwise known as Twmpa (hence "Could this be heaven, would that be the Severn? Twmpa, Twmpa, you’re gonna need a jumper"), inspires one of Nigel Blackwell's many songs about hill-walking and mountain-climbing... with a smattering of innuendo to warm the cockles.

Ever since the chattering classes invaded Hebden Bridge
And priced the likes of me and mine
To the pots of the Pennine Ridge
To South East Wales I was forced to flee
And now I have no job
That’s why tonight I’m sitting on top of Lord Hereford’s Knob

4. Fleet Foxes - Blue Ridge Mountains

Like the ghost of a song heard on an impossible radio. Gorgeous.

Of course, the Blue Ridge Mountains were also popular with Laurel & Hardy fans.

3. Babyshambles - Killamangiro

A terrible pun, but a great song. 

See also Kilimanjaro by the Teardrop Explodes which is a classic album, although the title track wasn't on the original track listing and isn't available to link to anywhere on t'internet.

2. Modest Mussorgsky - A Night On Bare (Bald) Mountain

And now for something even older than The Mountains of Mourne - a truly majestic piece of Classical music, though there's some debate over whether the Russian translation of the title should be 'bare' or 'bald'... or, indeed, whether the version we're all familiar with owes slightly more to Rimsky-Korsakov than Mussorgsky. I don't claim to be an expert. 

1. The Supernaturals - Everest

The world's biggest mountain... and one of the best songs the Supernaturals ever recorded, gently mocking the whole "my love is bigger than a mountain" metaphor mentioned earlier.

I bought a goldfish to keep me company
In these dark days when you're not here with me
I walk round Safeway on my own
Look in the freezer cabinet, see my reflection and I'm all alone

You dropped me like a waitress drops a tray...

Those were my SPECIFIC mountain songs... remember, Ain't No Mountain High Enough doesn't count.

Which will you be climbing tonight?