Snapshots #455: Self-Improvement Songs

Yesterday it was Sting, today it's Gwyneth: two celebrities who love to bang on about personal development and self-improvement, yada yada yada.

Here are some songs that instruct us how to become better people...

15. What Zoolander plays in the pub.

Derek Zoolander likes to play dominos.

Derek & The Dominoes - Tell The Truth

14. Scottish Bob meets Arnold's brother.

Whutcha talkin' about, Robert the Bruce?

Bruce Willis - Respect Yourself

13. It appears they need tying up.

Loose Ends - Don't Be A Fool

12. Japanese plod collective.

Tokyo Police Club - Be Good

11. The Pogues' favourite cars.

The Fiestas - Think Smart

10. Long DJ meets Ragtime King.

Janice Long meets Scott Joplin.

Janis Joplin - Try (Just a Little Bit Harder)

9. Petrified Peter.

Frightened Rabbit - Be Less Rude

8. Dolls.

Pussycat - Smile

7. Often heard to crow, "your hair is beautiful"... but only when he's with his mates. 

"Your hair is beautiful," is from Atomic. Roosters crow. This guy was the guitarist with Atomic Rooster, but he also had a solo hit with the tune below...

John Du Cann - Don't Be A Dummy

6. What made Bret Anderson snap? 

The Suede Crocodiles - Paint Yourself A Rainbow

5. Clearly sir Toby was confused.

"Clearly sir Toby" was an anagram.

Bay City Rollers - Give A Little Love

4. Backwards German remake of English composer Ralph.

Ralph Vaughan Williams, backwards, with DE in the middle...

William DeVaughn - Be Thankful For What You Got

3. Jefferson, Jackson, Johnson...

They were all...

Presidents of the United States of America - Love Everybody

2. The fashion of an estranged prince.

Prince Harry Styles!

Harry Styles - Treat People With Kindness

Whatever you might think of Harry Styles, that's a great pop song.

1. Warning: in a Fury, he could break a man's arm.

Billy Fury gets in a fight with a swan.

Hopefully, you now know how to live a better life, just like Sting and Gwyneth.

More nonsense next Saturday.

Saturday Snapshots #82 - The Answers

Put your Umbrella away and stop staring at your Diamonds (maybe put some clothes on too) because it's time for the answers to this week's Saturday Snapshots.

Some fierce competition yesterday morning between Rigid Digit and George... I think RD just clinched it, but it was pretty close. Good support from the rest of you, although I don't think anyone cracked my fiendish cryptic crossword clue for the Eddie Reader song. Thanks for playing, as always, guys...



10. Coward? Affirmative.

You yellow, boy?

Nobody calls me YELLO!

Oh yeah.

Yello - Oh Yeah

Gummy bear?

9. Conserve sheep: not a Golden Girl.

Betty White was a Golden Girl, so this song isn't about her.

Ram Jam - Black Betty

8. Martin, not a woman, warns against rat-arsed coitus.

Sweet Loretta Martin thought she was a woman, but she was another man. (Get back!)

Loretta Lynn - Don't Come Home A-Drinkin' (With Lovin' On Your Mind)

7. Nee Nah's ambition was to sell 100,000 albums.

100,000 albums would make a Gold Record (in the UK, anyway).

Nee Nah is the noise made by Fire Engines. Not the Simple Minds, George.

The Fire Engines - Big Gold Dream

6. So scared of this crazy planet, you want to cry.

Tears For Fears - Mad World

5. Prince George is very happy with the bloke from BT.

Prince George is Will's Son.

Very happy would be merry.

Meri Wilson - Telephone Man

Yeah, on listening to it again, I realise that was probably a mistake.

4. Sleep with Los Angeles; Jacobi calls for a pizza.

Lay... L.A.

Derek Jacobi orders a Domino's.

Derek & The Dominos - Layla

I think that's Eric on the right.

3. Where Paul gets his honey, at the crossing.

Macca has bees.

At the pelican crossing.

The Maccabees - Pelican

2. Van Halen, with subtitles, stumbles into a Scottish burgh called just Lochr.

Eddie is a reader.

Lochr is a town without pity... add pity and it becomes Pitlochry.

Ha!

Eddi Reader - A Town Without Pity

1. Dido resting on the harbour wall.

It took me ages to remember what Dido had to to with Otis, since it seemed obvious that "resting on the harbour wall" referred to (Sittin' On) The Dock of the Bay. Then I remembered: "Dido resting" was an anagram.



Take A Bow if you got them all right... more next week.

(Who knew both Madonna & Rhianna had songs called Take A Bow? Made my job much easier this weekend.)