Embarrassing Dad Songs #3: Stop The Wedding!

I started this series last year, did a couple of posts, then forgot about it.

It was supposed to be a series where I pointed out cool songs I'd discovered that were popular with da young people. This is in the UK Top Ten at the moment. It's the best pop song I've heard all year...

I even like the video, which looks like it was filmed in the 80s - old-fashioned rotary telephone and all.

Namesakes #211: Texas

Here are some bands named after a place where all my Exes moved to...

TEXAS #1

We start with a band from Texas! Southern rockers led by lead singer / guitarist Michael Maben who released one album in 1973 and then went their separate ways.

Texas - LA Lights

TEXAS #2

And we continue with a band not from Texas! Aussie pub rockers from the late 70s…

 ...unfortunately, I can't find any of their songs. But as I'm pushed for time, close your eyes and imagine what they might sound like, OK?

TEXAS #3

Finally, another band not from Texas, but from Glasgow… Sharleen Spiteri and her chums made a splash with their debut single I Don’t Want A Lover in 1989, then rather fell of the radar for a few years before returning to chart-conquering glory in the late 90s. Since then they’ve done the inevitable split-up / reunion waltz and appear to be still going strong.

Texas - Black Eyed Boy

Despite discogs promising a multitude of Texases... that's your lot, I'm afraid, this week. I will try harder next time.

 

Snapshots Spillover - More Shop Songs

Here are some more shops about songs.

I mean songs about shops.

Blur - Top Man

Madonna - Body Shop

Fasten Seatbelt - French Connection

Pavement - Date w/ IKEA

Monsters Of Folk - His Master's Voice

Linda Ronstadt - Lush Life

Dean Friedman - Lakelands

The Delgados - Thirteen Gliding Principles

Neil Young - Safeway Cart

Saint Etienne - Do It All

Department S - Somewhere Between Heaven And Tesco's

Again Again - Co-Optimist

Confetti - River Island

Ride - Chelsea Girl

And, of course...

There's a man with a mullet

Going mad with a mallet

In Millet's

Snapshots #470: Songs About Shops / High Street Retailers

Here are some songs about certain shops... some of them are still with us. Others have gone to that great high street in the sky...

15. What a carpet did next.

Clint Boon was an Inspiral Carpet. Then he formed...

The Clint Boon Experience - Comet Theme #1

14. I'm going to sue Deep Purple.

I'm going to sue Deep Purple.

Suede - Asda Town

13. What Tony Blackburn shouts at Turner and PJ.

"Sensational!" Alex Turner and PJ Harvey.

Sensational Alex Harvey Band - Next

12. Fred means not what you think.

"Fred means" was an anagram.

Sam Fender - Howdon Aldi Death Queue

He doesn't write them like that anymore, now that he's a proper pop star. (Shame.)

11. If you sent off for them, they were always a big disappointment when they arrived.

Did you ever send away for some X-Ray Spex? Bet they were a disappointment.

X-Ray Spex - Warrior In Woolworths

10. When Katrina walks onto the subway.

Katrina was Walking On Sunshine, in the underground.

The Sunshine Underground - Borders

9. How do you solve a problem like Macca's Miserable Holiday Home?

Is the Mull looking a bit dour, Maria?

Maria Muldaur - Midnight At The Oasis

8. Like Rachel, Matthew and Dita Von Teese.

Matthew Sweet and Rachel Sweet. Dita's real name is Heather Renée Sweet.

The Sweet - Blockbuster

7. Assorted sweets for pretty girls.

Dolly Mixture - New Look Baby

6. When will young people learn where to find the answers for this quiz?

Will Young - Your Game

5. Grew up in the wilds.

Well, they came from Dundee!

The Wilderness Children - Plastic Bag From Tesco's

4. Dire Namesakes fan.

George likes Namesakes (or whatever he calls it). Add Dire Straits.

George Strait - All My Ex’s Live in Texas

3. Sugar man.

Bob Mould - Argos

2. Very, something, extra, nothing.

Very special, something special, extra special, nothing special.

The Specials - Man At C&A

1. Blue-eyed girl.

Nancy Sinatra - These Boots Are Made For Walking

Snap up another bargain next Saturday morning.

Saturday Snapshots #470

Hey, where did we go? Days when the rains came. Down in the hollow... playin' a new game. A game called Saturday Snapshots. If it's raining this morning, try these...

Who are they and how are their songs connected?

15. What a carpet did next.

14. I'm going to sue Deep Purple.

13. What Tony Blackburn shouts at Turner and PJ.

12. Fred means not what you think.

11. If you sent off for them, they were always a big disappointment when they arrived.

10. When Katrina walks onto the subway.

9. How do you solve a problem like Macca's Miserable Holiday Home?

8. Like Rachel, Matthew and Dita Von Teese.

7. Assorted sweets for pretty girls.

6. When will young people learn where to find the answers for this quiz?

5. Grew up in the wilds.

4. Dire Namesakes fan.

3. Sugar man.

2. Very, something, extra, nothing.

1. Blue-eyed girl.

Have I Told You Lately that the answers will be here tomorrow morning?

Annoying People At Gigs #1: Hoyt Axton's Mum

Yes, I went to a gig on Sunday afternoon. What a lovely idea, eh? Home in time for tea! Very civilised, the way gigs should be from now on (but they won't be).

I've tried to find the energy to write a proper review, but I'm struggling to write like a proper muso at the moment. I can only write like a person.

Support was BettySoo. She was excellent. Definitely worthy of further investigation.

Then came James McMurtry, probably my favourite songwriter of the past few years. He did not disappoint... even though he didn't find time for the song about losing his glasses.

This was probably the highlight for me...

Anyway, it would have been the perfect gig... were it not for the annoying bastard gentleman sat next to me. The seats were pretty close, and he had no respect for personal space, so I spent most of the gig having to move my legs to a really uncomfortable position to prevent our thighs from touching. But that wasn't the worst of it, because this was the kind of annoying bastard gig-goer I'm sure we've all encountered: the kind of gentleman who clearly has a wealth of musical knowledge, and wants to share it with the audience, and the people on stage.

The highlight came when James McM made a joke about how he wasn't worried too much about being respected as a songwriter, not when he compared his work to the popularity of "Jeremiah was a bullfrog". I'm sure most of the crowd knew that he was referring to this...

Three Dog Night - Joy To The World

Actually, I really like that song. I get what Mr. McMurtry meant, but I also think that pop music can be silly too... and I don't actually think he was being critical, he was just making a joke. 

Regardless, this gave our annoying bastard friend to my left the perfect opportunity to demonstrate his muso-street-cred.

"Hoyt Axton!" he cried.

Since Hoyt was the man who wrote that tune. But that wasn't the end of it...

"His Mum wrote better songs!" continued annoying bastard our friend, exercising his lungs to their utmost potential.

Hoyt Axton's Mum, Mae Boren Axton, co-wrote this... and a bunch of other things.

Elvis Presley - Heartbreak Hotel

To his credit, James did not engage with the annoying bastard and carried on with his set as though no interruption had been made. BettySoo had adopted the same policy during her warm-up act.

And so begins a new series entitled Annoying Bastards People At Gigs. I have a few stories to tell... and I'm betting you do too. If you'd like to share one, in true Guest Post tradition, email me your story at the usual address and I will share it with the class.

(And yes, I was surprised the annoying bastard bloke didn't further remind us all that Hoyt Axton played the dad in Gremlins. But then, maybe that one wasn't contained in his wealth of knowledge.)

Here's my favourite Hoyt Axton tune. Thanks, Mr. Wogan.

Listening Post #58: Rock n Roll is...

I'm trying to find time to write about the gig I went to on Sunday afternoon. 

There just aren't enough hours in the day.

So here's a song about the perils of the rock 'n' roll lifestyle instead...

And naturally, that reminds me of this...

Mid-Life Crisis Songs #137: QR Code

Weezer have a new album out, and frontman Rivers Cuomo is obviously feeling his age. Firstly, it's the pressure of being an ageing rock star having to feed the corporate machine...

Cranking out another nineties jam

Wish I could do something new

But nobody wants to hear that

They just want the classics

You can't blame 'em, really

There's something special about your early shit...

Then, more generally, the terrible irritations of modern life... 

Bought a toaster just to make some toast

First I had to scan a QR code

Where's the jerk who built this hamster wheel?

I'm gonna tell him exactly how I feel...

Namesakes #210: Player

That's Gary Player.

Was he a bit of a Player?

Who knows.

But he did sing... who knew that?

Gary Player - Gentle On My Mind

I'm actually wondering whether George will consider that the best thing he hears today. It's pretty slim pickings... I'd thought there would have been more Players out there...

PLAYER #1

Peter Beckett was from Liverpool. At age 16, he formed a band called The Thoughts and recorded a Ray Davies tune. Then he joined Winston G and the Wicked who soon changed their name to Whip. He auditioned for Badfinger, didn't get the job, so joined a prog band called Paladin. Somehow he ended up in LA where he joined the Skyband, before meeting up with the bunch of scallywags who became Player. 

And the rest is history...

Player - Baby Come Back

PLAYER #2

Kelly Groucutt was the bassist in ELO from 1974 - 1982. Unhappy with the money he was getting, he decided to sue Jeff Lynne, so while he made a few bob out of that, his days with the Orchestra were over. In 1986 he released a solo album which sounds very, very much like 80s ELO. Somewhere along the way, a track from that album was released as a single under the moniker Player. Or maybe I dreamt it...

Player - Am I A Dreamer?

 

THE PLAYER #3

Rapper from Michigan, via California, who's been writing his rhymes since he was 8 years old...

The Player - Tether

There were a few bands called The Players, but under George's Strict Rules, I can't include those. Besides, none of them were a patch on Gary Player.

Any worthy of a spin on your record player?

Snapshots Spillover: A Few More F Names

A few songs I had left over from this weekend's Snapshots, starting with the lady above...

Capital Cities - Farrah Fawcett Hair

And on we go...

ZZ Top - Francine

The Very Sexuals - Finn

Don McLean - Sister Fatima

Femme Fatale - Freya

Gary Walker & The Rain - Francis

Tina Peel - Fabian Lips

Fred Wedlock - Franklin

And we'll finish with these guys, who would definitely have featured had they not appeared on SS quite a bit over the years...

Snapshots #469: Songs For People Whose Name Begins With F

F---, me? As each of these people might have said, given that their names all begin with F. The people in the songs, that is, not the singers. 

Not my best introduction. Here are some tunes...

15. Gabriel, Simon, MacGregor.

Peter Gabriel, Paul Simon, Mary MacGregor.

Peter, Paul & Mary - Flora

14. Sounds like a big prize winning ticket.

A Golden Lottery ticket? Too good to be true...

Lotti Golden - Gonna Fay's

13. It's a bit of a squeeze for this guitarist.

He was the guitarist in Orange Juice, and the man who wrote one of their best songs...

James Kirk - Felicity

12. Initially German borders.

DE-lines.

The Delines - Left Hook Like Frazier

11. Not the kind of bloke you can rely on for a long-term commitment.

Keep away from him, ladies - he's a player.

Player - In Like Flynn

10. Divers do this.

Swim Deep - Francisco

9. Heard twice in a Flintstone cry.

Yabba dabba doo!

Abba - Fernando

8. Castle approved by the Valley Parent Teacher's Association.

Roy Castle goes to Harper Valley PTA...

Roy Harper - Francesca

7. Welsh hamster puts biscuit in his tea, adverbially.

Comedy TV Rat (and bane of my adolescence) Roland had a Welsh hamster sidekick called Errol. If he dunked with ly...

Erroll Dunkley - OK Fred

6. Aja 3rd.

Track 3 on Aja by Steely Dan... t's where they got their name.

Deacon Blue - Fergus Sings The Blues

5. Epitome, of virtue.

The Paragons - Florence

4. Hang on to this leading man.

Lead singer of the Hold Steady, though he's arguably even better as a solo act...

Craig Finn - Fletcher's

3. Percy's nun.

Percy Sledge, that is.

Sister Sledge - Hey Frankie

2. Moaning marijuanas!

The Grumbleweeds - Fiona McLaughlin

Every Friday night when I was a kid, we'd drive to my dad's work and do the cleaning. On the way back, we'd pick up fish and chips and listen to The Grumbleweeds on Radio 2.

1. This here logic game is all screwed up.

"Here logic game" was an anagram.

There's no F in Saturday Snapshots. But there will be next Saturday...