Everything I know about Dr. Samuel Johnson, I learned from Blackadder. As an English teacher, I can say with some authority that it's really all you need to know. Except that he once wrote that, "when a man is tired of London, he is tired of life". And if that's the case, I know a hell of a lot of people who are fed up with living.
Over the last year, I have encountered a couple of fine songs that reference the first man in dictionary corner... so I was sure I'd be able to find some more with a little digging.
Meanwhile, today's finest discovery are called Tankus The Henge. Yes, they are.
Well there's old Dr. Johnson with a hole in his eye He don't know how to fight, but he knows how to die There's someone outside in the corridor now Pulls open the shutter, and takes a bow The window to the track is rivetted shut Poor old Dr .Johnson he ain't got much luck As the ticket inspector come along for the dead And sees the curves of a girl silhouetted instead
Now, when I extended my search to include Johnson's famous quote about London, all kind of things crawled out of the woodwork. All kinds of Dirty Pretty Things for a start...
How can they be tired of London? The scents in the air on a warm day Generation of hope that sees better days But moving along in the same old ways
The two artists I had in mind when I decided to feature Dr. Johnson here both mention him by name and reference his love of the capital... though they do seem to disagree with that quote somewhat.
Dr. Samuel Johnson You were very nearly right I was tired of London But I would never tire of life
That's not the album version, but a lovely live recording featuring Chris T-T on piano.
Alyson recently convinced me to re-watch Fast Times At Ridgemont High, a movie I haven't seen in at least 35 years, and probably the one that helped cement Sean Penn's reputation as a young actor when he played Jeff Spicoli, the surfer dude template for Keanu Reeves's entire career. After that he worked very hard off-screen cementing the bad boy reputation that was obviously a big draw for Madonna... until they tore each other apart, putting on a quite a show for the tabloids in the process. Sean's since navigated a lengthy on again / off again marriage with Robin Wright, as well as dating Charlize Theron and Jewel... makes you wonder how he ever managed to find time for acting? Though he did win two best actor Oscars, so he must have done something right.
When not chasing starlets or punching paparazzi, Sean's also been politically active, standing up to George W. Bush and Donald Trump, doing aid work following Hurricane Katrina and the Haiti earthquake, and recently filming a documentary in the Ukraine about the Russian invasion.
Back in the 80s, I never really cared for Sean Penn. However, I've grown to respect him more in recent years, and his recent cameo in Licorice Pizza was one of the high points of that movie. Meanwhile, if you stick his name in a search engine, you'll find dozens of musical mentions, though many of them are by artists I've never heard of before... and never want to hear from again.
These are the ones from my own record collection, starting with ten minutes of typical stream-of-consciousness rambling from the wonderful Mark Kozelek...
David Bowie had died, there's a picture of El Chapo shaking hands with Sean Penn
Goddamn, like I said, we watched The Falcon and the Snowman the night before
With Sean Penn and Timothy Hutton
Bowie song played while the falcon soared
This isn't America, oh
This isn't America, oh
In 2016, Penn interviewed Mexican drug lord El Chapo for Rolling Stone, hoping to kickstart a debate about the efficacy of the war on drugs. He largely failed in that, though the drug lord was eventually captured and imprisoned. I blame Mark Kozelek for making me have to research all that.
Well, as self-explanatory as any Thurston Moore lyric could ever be.
I'm sure there are quite a few Madonna songs that were written with Sean in mind. The album True Blue was dedicated to him, but that was in the good times of their relationship. If she's taken a lyrical hatchet to him since, she's not made it explicit. (Which shows a great deal of reserve on Madonna's part, given how explicit she's been in most other areas of her life.)
All of which leads us to the most obvious choice for a Sean Penn song, written in 1987 when Madonna and Sean were still very much an item...
The Western Minnesota Intercollegiate Circle
Telephoned, they said,
"Hey, Sean, could you mosey on down to our gala ball?"
It says 'Mister Madonna kicks some beat poetry'
If I could, I would, I would, I swear I would be better
But it seems I am just a natural no good
And what's more, I like living like that
However, the final word on Sean Penn, considering where we came in, must go to Scroobius Pip...
This week, I thought we'd pop down the supermarket. This is Volume 1 because it's about specific supermarket chains. More generic supermarket songs will follow...
Sadly, I couldn't find any songs about Morrisons, Waitrose or Ocado...
Neil Young has written so many songs, there will come a time when he runs out of subject matter. Here's one about a shopping trolley... from the same album on which he wrote a song about a Piece of Crap. Great album though.
B-side of The Wild Ones, one of my favourite Suede singles; this actually sounds like the stuff Brett would release when he went solo a few years later. I saw him play live during that tour and it was a very special, slightly rakish, king of night.
And like the birds we'll fly tomorrow And like the birds we'll fly From your Asda Town Never coming down 'Cos they're take, taking it away
I'd like to see Asda use this in their Christmas TV ad this year. Sod Take That.
Possibly stretching the idea of a concept album beyond its natural elasticity, but when Polly Jane kicks out on her latest album, she's as good as ever.
Teenage Winter is possibly my favourite Saint Etienne track. Sarah Cracknell could read a shopping list and make it sound amazing. Plus, Bob Stanley really does love old records... as much as we do. This song is about the death of pop music as a physical object for teenagers to cherish. Once you get that, it's one of the most heartbreaking songs you'll ever hear...
Mums with pushchairs outside Sainsbury's Tears in their eyes They'll never buy a Gibb Brothers record again Their old 45s gathering dust The birthday cards they couldn't face throwing away Teenage winter coming down Teenage winter coming down
Still in Sainsbury's, we find Mrs. Gaiman flashing back to the time she
was dating Ricky Wilson from the Kaiser Chiefs. He gave her a Leeds
Utd. jersey as a pressie. She lost it.
But who needs love when there's Law and Order?
And who needs love when there's Dukes of Hazard?
And who needs love
When the sandwiches are wicked
And they know you at the Mac store?
No,
the Mac store is not a supermarket. But I can't mention this song
without quoting that chorus, because I love it. As for the
supermarket...
Sure, I admire you
Sure, you inspire me, but you've been not getting back so
I'll wait at the Sainbury's
Countin' my change, making bank on the upcoming roster
I'm guessing maybe Ricky took her down the Leeds Sainsbury's one time too. He knows how to spoil a girl, that Wilson lad...
I give Weller a hard time on this blog occasionally... but when he's on form, no one can touch him...
A whole street's belief in Sunday's roast beef Gets dashed against The Co-Op To either cut down on beer or the kids' new gear It's a big decision in a town called Malice
See also Saturday's Kids: Saturday's girls work in Tesco's and Woolworths! (Not anymore, sadly.)
1. TESCO:Half Man Half Biscuit - L’Enfer C’Est Les Autres
I had to give this One to Nigel Blackwell because not only
does he use that gloriously misinterpreted quote from Sartre as his title
(sadly, Jean-Paul wasn't quite being as misanthropic as Nigel and I might
wish), but also because this track contains (among various other hilarious
ramblings) perhaps the best Half Man Half Biscuit line ever... via Johnny Cash,
of course.
I shot a man in Tesco, just to watch him die
From the top HMHB album 90 Bisodol. What else do you need to
know?
Some people don’t know how to walk on the pavement these days
Well it’s not that difficult, there’s hardly a whole host of waysHere they come, love’s young dream, arm in arm, approaching me Now, I’m not looking for your smile I’m just asking for some single file But it’s not forthcoming so I have to assume That this narrow path belongs to you And therefore you must beThe Duke of Westminster and his good lady wife So, I tell you what, I’ll just walk in the road How about I just walk in the road? You stay as you are, and I’ll just walk in the road
How about that first verse? Is it just me...?
Other Top Tesco songs (I could have done a Top Ten, but I'm
waiting for the sponsorship deal to kick in) came from Lily Allen (LDN), The
Pogues (Rain Street*), King Krule (Easy Easy) and Glass Animals (Life Itself).
*Careful, that one's a bit rude.
Which one gets your custom? Whichever you pick, it's still 5p for a carrier bag...
