The Curious Case of CD32: Part #5

A quick dash through the four final songs on this CD... it's Halt Term, so my blog-hours are limited.

Track 17: Joshua Kadison - Jessie

I like a good heartfelt piano ballad. And beyond the obvious candidates (Billy, Elton), there are a lot of one hit wonder types who do this sort of thing very well too. Randy Edelman. Bruce Hornsby. Marc Cohn. And here's another one - from 1993, when I was 21 and really shouldn't have been listening to this sort of thing. Except that I was a hopeless romantic even then, so while all the cool kids were getting into grunge, I was getting down to Joshua Kadison. (Grunge came later.)

From a phone booth in Vegas, Jessie calls at five am
To tell me how she's tired of all of them
She says, "Baby, I've been thinking 'bout a trailer by the sea
We could go to Mexico... you, the cat, and me
We'll drink tequila and look for seashells
Now, doesn't that sound sweet?"
Oh, Jessie, you always do this every time I get back on my feet

Looking at the video, which I don't think I've ever seen before, Kadison wouldn't have looked out of place in the grunge scene, with his long unkempt hair and sleeveless vests. Fair play to him then for going out and recording this kind of epic singer-songwritery slush when all the cool kids were doing the whole quite-loud thing with their angst.

Apparently he wasn't quite a One Hit Wonder in the States, and his second hit, Beautiful In My Eyes, became a big wedding favourite. The video of that has him riding down the highway like Bon Jovi... but he still sounds like a 90s Dan Fogelberg tribute act. Jessie is a far better tune.

Track 18: The Sugarhill Gang - Rapper's Delight

You don't get much more old skool than this. Of course, I wasn't in to rap music in 1979. Apart from Debbie Harry, who was? But I came to appreciate this later, like most people, and probably prefer it to most of the rap that followed. It's got a sense of humour, which a lot of rap seems to lack these days (or if it is funny, it's nasty-funny), and while the rhymes start out pretty basic, if you take a listen to the longer version, there are all kinds of hidden treats, including this gem of a story from Wonder Mike...

Ever went over a friend's house to eat and the food just ain't no good?
I mean the macaroni's soggy, the peas are mushed, and the chicken tastes like wood
So you try to play it off like you think you can, by sayin' that you're full
And then your friend says, "Momma, he just being polite, he ain't finished, uh-uh, that's bull!"
And so your heart starts pumpin', and you think of a lie, and you say that you already ate
And your friend says, "Man, there's plenty of food!" so you pile some more on your plate
And while the stinky foods steamin' your mind starts to dreamin' of the moment that it's time to leave
And then you look at your plate and your chicken's slowly rottin' into something that looks like cheese

Oh, so you say, "That's it, I got to leave this place! I don't care what these people think
I'm just sittin' here makin' myself nauseous with this ugly food that stinks!"
And so you bust out the door while it's still closed, still sick from the food you ate
And then you run to the store for quick relief from a bottle of Kaopectate
And then you call your friend two weeks later to see how he has been
And he says, "I understand about the food, baby bubbah, but we're still friends"

Many years later, I'm sure Flight of The Conchords paid tribute to that here...

Flight of the Conchords - Hurt Feelings

I didn't put the long version on CD32, but I reckon Sam might be ready for it now.

Track 19: Huey Lewis & The News - The Heart of Rock n Roll

I've probably said enough about these guys recently. Besides, Huey says it best...

When they play their music, ooh that modern music
They like it with a lot of style
But it's still that same old back beat rhythm
That really, really drives 'em wild

They say the heart of rock and roll is still beating
And from what I've seen I believe 'em
Now the old boy may be barely breathing
But the heart of rock and roll, heart of rock and roll is still beating

Track 20: The Beatles - I Should Have Known Better

I'll be honest - I've no idea why I ended this CD with such an obscure Beatles track. The early CDs were pretty Beatles heavy, because they're often good basic catchy melodies that little kids dig... no wonder they were so successful. Keep It Simple, Stupid. But there were plenty of more obvious tracks I still hadn't featured by the time I hit CD32... maybe this was the exact right length for the space I had left on the CD? It wouldn't be the first time that criteria has led to a final song selection...

OK, that's it for CD32. We'll start another one next week. Bet you can hardly wait!

Memory Mixtape #25: Mushy Peas Are Evil

I wasn't a fussy eater as a kid, and I generally loved school dinners. I had no problem with cleaning my plate... except on Fridays.

Fridays was usually fish and chips, which would have been a firm favourite, had they not been served with a huge dollop of that most detestable of food-stuffs: mushy peas. If ever there was a metaphor for the destructive tendencies of the human race and how we have to ruin everything we touch... who else would take the sweetest and tastiest vegetable on god's green earth and turn it into grey sludge? Why would anyone choose to eat mushy peas when you can have the real thing? I mean, even the adjective is disgusting. Let's look at some of its closest synonyms... pulpy, pappy, slushy, squelchy, gloopy... not to mention that mushy can also be defined as mawkish, cloying, sickly and icky. They look like puke on a plate, only that would be slightly more appetising. 

And yet... every Friday, there I was, shuddering in the dinner queue, my voice cracking as I asked the serving ladies for a "very very very small" portion of mushy peas, please. But even when they looked kindly on me, I was still the last one in the school dining hall, pushing cold mushy peas around on my plate, unable to go out and join my friends in the playground until Mrs. Brown, the head School Dinner Nazi, had watched me eat them all. They wouldn't allow kids to be treated like that these days... but this was the late 70s and early 80s when sadism was still part of the National Curriculum. 

When I looked for songs featuring mushy peas, I found them championed by the worst examples of musical depravity: The Macc Ladds, K*nt & The Gang*, U2 (are you completely unaware of the fact that I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For is about Bono going around every chip shop in town, trying to find the best place to buy mushy peas?). Not one song (worth listening to) leapt to their defence. Real peas, however, turn up in all kinds of wonderful tunes...

(*This is an actual band that I keep coming across when I do lyric searches. I normally ignore the hell out of them, but it seemed appropriate to give them a mention today. The asterisk is mine, not theirs.)

The JB's - Pass The Peas

Paul Weller - Sweet Pea, My Sweet Pea

Pine Hill Haints - Pea Ridge Blues

Count Basie - Mama Don't Want No Peas 'N' Rice 'N' Coconut Oil

If you still believe there is any merit to mushy peas after reading this post, I will leave the final word to my expert witness from The Sugarhill Gang. Tell it like it is, Wonder Mike... 

Have you ever went over a friend's house to eat

And the food just ain't no good?

I mean the macaroni's soggy, the peas are mushed

And the chicken tastes like wood

Minus points for anyone who quotes John Lennon in the comment box.

Saturday Snapshots #36 - Answers

War, war is stupid and people are stupid... but not you guys, because you solve Saturday Snapshots every week! (Well, as I type this there are two still oustanding... but I'm hoping someone will solve them overnight). I may be a man without conviction, but I appreciate you playing along every weekend... and I think we can all agree that C is this week's undisputed Karma Chameleon. Well done, C!


10.  Tomorrows' last page.

The placement of the possessive apostrophe is important as it indicates more than one Sunday.

The last page is where the story ends.

The Sundays - Here's Where The Story Ends

9. Talking is wonderful with sweet Lauryn.

Lauryn Hill is sweet like sugar.

The Sugarhill Gang - Rapper's Delight

8. Elvis licks your salty cheeks.

Elvis was the King. But you knew that.

King - The Taste Of Your Tears

7. Finding your award in the W.C. - between a rock and a hard place.

That would be an Emmy award found in the loo, you see.

Apologies to the people of Birmingham.

Emmylou Harris - From Boulder To Birmingham

6. Anyone know where I can find my lady? She's a little timid around low calorie dishes.

You don't really need me to explain this one, do you?

The Chi-Lites - Have You Seen Her?

5. Captured reindeer would like to boogie.

Blitzen was a reindeer, captured in a trap.

Better name for a band than Rudolph Trapper, I think.

Blitzen Trapper - Dance With Me

4. Like Billy Joel said, I'm All For a good scratch. Not 13.

Billy Joel sang All For Leyna.

If you like a good scratch then you love an itch.

13 is not usually a lucky number.

Lene Lovich - Lucky Number

3. How I feel yesterday: warm and radiant.

I feel is present tense, so yesterday I felt.

Right now, there are a couple of people kicking themselves.

Felt - Sunlight Bathed The Golden Glow

2. Baby scallywags give positive affection.

Young Rascals - Good Lovin'

1. Fake medicine for Mrs. Reagan's son.

Fake medicine is a placebo.

Mrs. Reagan's son would be Nancy's Boy... which always reminds me of an old Spitting Image sketch about Larry Speakes, of which the title of this song is the punchline. But I can't find it on youtube, sadly.

Do You Really Want To Hurt Me?

No?

Then make sure you come back again next week.