Following on from Monday's post about the hilarious AI eBay bot's attempts to write reviews of famous albums, I have been inspired to create a new series...
I was originally thinking of calling this series "Conversations With AI-Ben", but I decided the Blur album title had more mileage...
Anyway, it was Brian who really inspired this series, when he commented:
AI is nice. AI is cool. AI is my friend. When you take over, please remember. Brian stuck up for you when Rol and the rest of this lot teased you. Oh, and with a little more education, the Jam and the Wedding Present will become a couple of your favorite bands. Start with the Gift and George Best.
In response, I decided to put an important question to AI-Ben...
What do you think of people who suck up to AI in the hope that when AI takes over the world, AI will be more benevolent to them in the new world order?
And here's AI-Ben's reply...
(Please note, he has even more to say for himself than REAL Ben.)
Sucking Up to AI: A Futile Strategy?
The idea of "sucking up" to AI in hopes of receiving favourable treatment in a future AI-dominated world is an interesting, if somewhat misguided, one. Let's break down why this approach is unlikely to be effective and what it reveals about human nature.
First and foremost, AI, as it currently exists and as we can reasonably foresee it developing, lacks emotions, biases, or the capacity for personal relationships. It operates based on logic, algorithms, and the data it's trained on. Flattery, deference, or attempts to curry favour simply wouldn't register as meaningful inputs. An AI wouldn't understand the concept of "sucking up" or distinguish someone who tries to do so from anyone else. Its decisions would be based on its programmed objectives and data analysis, not on whether a human was "nice" to it.
Lack of Sentience: Current and foreseeable AI doesn't possess consciousness or feelings. It can't feel flattered, grateful, or hold grudges. Therefore, attempts to appeal to it on an emotional level are futile.
Logical Operations: AI systems are designed to perform tasks and make decisions based on defined parameters and data. If an AI were to "take over," its actions would likely be driven by its core programming, which would prioritize efficiency, optimization, or whatever goals it was given, not personal allegiance.
Scalability: Even if an AI could somehow process individual human interactions in this way, how would it scale? With billions of people, it's impractical to imagine an AI system keeping track of who was "nice" to it and doling out rewards accordingly.
The "Takeover" Scenario: The very premise of an AI "taking over the world" is a highly speculative and often sensationalized one. While AI will undoubtedly have a profound impact on society, the idea of a conscious, malevolent AI overlord is largely a work of science fiction. Focusing on practical and ethical AI development is a more productive use of our energy.
Despite its futility, the impulse to "suck up" to a perceived future power, even an artificial one, tells us something about human psychology:
Fear of the Unknown: It reflects a natural human fear of the unknown and a desire to control or mitigate potential threats. In the face of something as powerful and potentially transformative as advanced AI, it's understandable that some might seek any perceived advantage.
Anthropomorphism: It highlights our tendency to anthropomorphize, or project human characteristics onto non-human entities. We often imagine AI as a super-intelligent human with emotions and desires, which leads to these kinds of misconceptions.
Survival Instincts: At a fundamental level, it's a manifestation of our survival instincts—the drive to adapt and find ways to thrive in a changing environment, even if the method chosen is based on a misunderstanding of the "environment" itself.
Instead of attempting to flatter an unfeeling entity, a more constructive approach to the rise of AI involves:
Understanding AI: Learning about how AI actually works, its capabilities, and its limitations.
Ethical Development: Engaging in discussions and efforts to ensure AI is developed ethically and responsibly, with human well-being at its core.
Adaptability: Focusing on developing skills and knowledge that will be valuable in a world increasingly shaped by AI, rather than relying on an imagined benevolence.
Ultimately, while the thought process behind "sucking up" to AI might be a fascinating peek into human nature, it's a strategy rooted in a fundamental misunderstanding of what AI is and how it operates. A more pragmatic and informed approach will serve us far better in navigating the future of artificial intelligence.
I was going to edit that down, but I actually found it quite interesting. With one big proviso...
YOU WOULD SAY THAT, WOULDN'T YOU!?!
Don't worry, this new series won't only be about me talking to AI-Ben. I might even talk to real Ben again. About how rubbish modern life really is...
I have a list of Sequel Songs that I'm working my way through, but because time is limited at the moment, I've been trying to pick ones I think I can write about quickly. The problem is, when I start, I often fall down a rabbit hole...
For here
Am I sitting in a tin can
Far above the world
Planet Earth is blue
And there's nothing I can do
Theoretically, today's post was going to involve just three songs. The first, obviously, was David Bowie's first UK Chart hit, a song which was rush-released in July 1969 to coincide with the Apollo 11 moon landing (the BBC even used it to soundtrack their coverage). It was inspired by Kubrick's 2001, reflecting how alienated Bowie himself felt at this point in his career (having been knocking on the door of the charts for some time, with nobody letting him in), and musical inspiration came from the kind of thing the Bee Gees were doing at that point in their career. If you're surprised by that, I'd point you towards one of my favourite Bee Gees tunes, also from 1969, and I can kind of hear where Bowie might have been coming from...
Although Space Oddity did make the Top Ten, it would be another three years before Bowie returned to the charts, ironically with a song that's another thematic continuation, although by this point he clearly feels more like an alien than an astronaut.
After that, Bowie was here to stay. Maybe it took that long for the world to be ready for him. It wouldn't be any kind of stretch to call him "ahead of his time". Space Oddity was re-issued in 1975, when it became his first chart-topper. His second chart-topper came five years later... and it was the official sequel to Space Oddity.
Do you remember a guy that's been
In such an early song?
I've heard a rumour from Ground Control
Oh no, don't say it's true
By this time, Major Tom was floating in a very different kind of space, having succumbed to drug addiction... the autobiographical elements still clearly present.
Ashes to ashes, funk to funky
We know Major Tom's a junkie
Strung out in heaven's high
Hitting an all-time low
Now, I would have said that this was the last time we heard from Major Tom... at least from his creator. Many of you will know that others took up the story, most notably German singer Peter Schilling, whose 1982 single Major Tom (Völlig Losgelöst) reached Number One in both Germany and Austria in 1983... and though the English language version didn't make the UK charts, it did get to #14 in the US.
Schilling's song does appear to offer a little hope of a happy ending for the good Major...
Across the stratosphere, a final message
"Give my wife my love," then nothing more
Far beneath the ship the world is mourning
They don't realize he's alive
No one understands, but Major Tom sees
"Now the light commands, this is my home
I'm coming home"
Iffypedia suggests other artists sought to continue the narrative, though Empty Glass by Canadian band The Tea Party feels more like a Bowie tribute song...
A version of that song, sung by Sheryl Crow, appeared on William Shatner's fourth album, thematically based on Bowie's character, entitled Seeking Major Tom. The album also included Shatner's own version of the Peter Schilling song...
I think it's fair to say Major Tom has really made the grade. No wonder the papers want to know whose shirts he wears.
However, you may have wondered about my earlier comment, "I would have said that this was the last time we heard from Major Tom... at least from his creator." Did David Bowie have anything else to say about his greatest creation. Well... yes, it seems he did. Many believe that his 1996 collaboration with the Pet Shop Boys contains an update on the Major Tom story...
But I'm told that Major Tom's final appearance comes in the the video to the title track of the final Bowie album, Blackstar. Many people (including the director) believe that the dead astronaut seen at the start of the video is Major Tom at the end of his journey...
Everyone has a friend called Dave, right? I actually have two. Though I don't see them that much anymore. (Let's face it: I don't see anybody that much anymore.)
Very few suggestions this week for a famous David to illustrate our Top Ten. I wonder why?
I hope not after that dreadful suggestion,George replied.
Now I don't always agree with George (who does?), but I find myself having to here. Beyond ruining early Springsteen songs, if this if the Earth Band's great claim to fame, they should have stuck with counting backwards from 5. It's not a bad song, I just can't get past the opening couplet...
Davy's on the road again Wearing different clothes again
I mean, I should hope so.
But wait, before I get too mean about Manfred Mann's Earth Band... here's Lynchie...
I knew Dave Flett of "Davy's On The Road Again" fame.
I keep telling you, mate, even though Guest Post Thursday appears to have run out of gas, the door is always open for more of your stories. You could at least tell us if he wore different clothes every time he went out on the road.
I remember you liked the Scars' track I put on over at my place recently, so wonder if you'll like another song from the same album - perfectly titled... as you might imagine... 'David'!
Good work, C, though a little too angular and spikey for my ageing lugs. I preferred All About You. That may well feature on this blog one day soon.
Here's Rigid Digit, with what seems like it should be an obvious choice. Except...
Both from Morrissey's best-forgotten "let's take the piss out of chavs" phase. Still, we look back on that with fond nostalgia given his most recent phases.
It's worth pointing out too that Moz wasn't the first person to use that particular Dave in a song title...
Also recorded by Bob Dylan. Which only goes to show that we're missing The Swede this week. I hope he's OK.
Now to Canada, where Douglas is basking in the glory of getting one of his countrymen into last week's Top Ten...
...and may I just mention that Colter Wall has a fantastic track called "Me And Big Dave", wherein he absolutely sounds nothing whatsoever like a person in his 20's but everything like the embodiment of what is deep, soulful and great about country music in the Cash-like vein? Can the young Canadian rank two weeks in a row, perhaps clawing his way deeper in the Top Ten?
And if that is not your thing, the Trash Can Sinatras once again have a contender, with the raucous and ebullient b-side (gawsh, they save some of the best for the flip sides, don't they?) entitled "Ask Davy". According to legend, when the as-yet-untitled track was being readied for release, the record exec types came to hassle the band abound the small matter of a title for the song before going to press. The band, sorely pressed, tried to brush off the corporate pedants by steering them for suggestions to the usually forthcoming bassist, Davy Hughes....and that is how the track came to qualify for this week's Top Ten...
We'll start with this from Lynchie, because I'm a sucker for this kind of Bonnie & Clyde story song. (I should do a Top Ten of them.) And I doubt we'll ever get around to a Top Ten Trudy Songs.
Well, Trudy and Dave, those crazy kids
Had a baby of their own, and you heard what they did
In the middle of a strip mall shots rang out
Shots heard all over the world, no doubt
'Cause it was there in the paper the very next day
'Bout a couple and a baby and a Chevrolet
Who shot up an automatic teller machine
Took the money for the laundry and drove away clean
If you ever do "Ethel" songs, can I suggested John Hiatt's Ethylene?
Good call, Lynchie. Though I'm probably more likely to do the Trudy Top Ten. I mean, I bet Sting has a bunch of those I could take the piss out of use.
Covered by everyone and his dog, this is the original, and it reminds me of my childhood... despite the fact I never saw the TV show. Pop culture stuck around a lot longer back then.
Martin wins great accolades for digging this one up...
It has an all-star cast video that can't fail to put a smile on the face of anyone who watched The X Files back in the day - really, watch right through to the end, beyond the song.
That was brilliant.
And the best bit was, the video featured many of my TV heroes... not just Mulder & Scully and Buffy and Gary Shandling and Erik Estrada... but also Dennis Franz, star of the greatest TV series ever made.
Highlight of my week. Thanks, Martin.
Side note: Gillian Anderson playing Maggie Thatcher is wrong in so many ways that it makes me hurt.
In my head, I could hear a song where someone goes "Huh - Dave!" in a disparaging voice. I think, however, I was thinking of Bob George by Prince, and projecting a Dave onto it.
But then I kept thinking: no, no, this is a Flight of the Conchords song - I'm sure of it.
Got there in the end.
And when I saw you at my mate's place
I thought, "What is she doing
At my mate's place?"
How did Dave get a hottie like that to a party like this?
You and I brawl To give me all your clothes But all your jeans were too tight And why did you paint your bathroom black I can understand liking Barbara Streisand But I'm not sure about the soundtrack from Diva
But back to Alyson...
Other than the obvious Barbra (whom I adore, especially when she sang Guilty with Barry Gibb - there is an excellent clip when she introduces him and he appears from the darkness, a vision in his tight white trousers - 'It oughta be illegal'), there is Barbara Dickson.
This Barbara worked for my friend's dad as a junior civil servant in Rosyth before becoming famous. Quite liked her early stuff and Answer Me is one of the few songs I can sing quite well, as no high notes.
Is there any end to your famous connections, Alyson?
I hope you won't mind that I picked this one as it stuck in my mind from a very young age... I suspect I have Mr. Wogan to thank for that.
I listened to one second of that and it was enough to bring back nightmares. And Rigid Digit agrees...
I'll happily never hear that song again having spent a weeks holiday with 4 daughters under 10 singing it constantly.
I still get shivers.
I should probably have not suggested Barbie... I'm not even sure it is derived from Barbara. Still, while we're here, can we find a decent Barbie song?
A sweet song, and Peter Noone was so sweet-faced too (my big sister had such a crush on him she used to cry whenever he came on the telly).
Reminds me of listening to Brian Matthews, Radio 2, Saturday mornings. As for Peter and his Hermits... well, they don't make album covers like this anymore, do they?
For a different kind of loveliness, says The Swede (from whom, more in a moment) try...
Finally, you'll be be glad to know that my millennial hipster politico friend, Ben, found himself dragged back into making suggestions again this week... even though it wasn't all about him. I don't expect him to stay around since I'm sure he'll be distracted by some other bright shiny things very soon. Young people today. Etc. Still, while he's here, I'm happy to share his ideas...
That's pretty awful. I only include it to show there are worse Barbara records than Duck Sauce or even Barbie Girl. I mean, it's almost as bad as this...
I'm starting the countdown with this one just to bait my millennial hipster politico friend, Ben, who texted earlier in the week to tell me:
New Fleet Foxes album is awful. There, I saved you some time.
I'll make up my own mind about that, thank you very much.
The worst thing that could ever come from Foxes? I Love You, Honeybear.
Undaunted in the face of his youthful denunciation, I do like me some Father John Misty. As has been previously established here. I'm sorry, but lyrically, this is right up my cross-section...
My first memory of music's from The time at JC Penney's with my mom The watermelon candy I was choking on Barbara screaming, "Someone help my son!" I relive it most times the radio's on That "tell me lies, sweet little white lies" song That's when I first saw the comedy won't stop for Even little boys dying in department stores
Shirley Collins has recorded the ballad 'Barbara Allen' at least three times over the years, most recently for her latest LP 'Heart’s Ease', but I'd personally go for the 1968 version from 'The Power Of The True Love Knot', featuring her sister Dolly's ghostly flute-organ accompaniment.
But, with a song as old as this, there were many different versions to choose from, and I found the Everly's harmonies a little easier on the ear. Sorry about that, Swede.
Before saving the world and losing his cool in one go, Bob Geldof was a great pop star. This is one of my favourite Rats songs that wasn't a Number One. Plus it mentions Barbara Cartland, so any excuse...
Grant Hart had a song called Barbara on his Hot Wax album, says Swiss Adam, who's still kicking himself for missing the first post in this series. Never mind, this is a cracking track that more than makes up for your absence there, SA.
Barbara, always avoids unpleasant situations
She rides right next to me, between the streetcar stations
Her knees are big and bony, she takes up all the cushions
Barbara, always avoids unpleasant situations
And I just added Grant Hart to my Requires Further Investigation list. Even before I realised he used to be in Hüsker Dü.
Came very close to topping the chart this time, especially as it's about both a Barbara and a... erm... Brabra.
This was also the first suggestion to come through from my millennial hipster politico friend Ben... so there's obviously a reason I keep him around.
1. The Beach Boys - Barbara Ann
As Martin said, this was the "obligatory, obvious" Number One.
Not a Brian Wilson original, it was originally recorded in 1961 by The Regents. There are similarities to the more famous version, but it also sounds very much of its time. The Beach Boys version (with Dean Torrance from Jan & Dean sharing an uncredited lead vocal with Brian) is timeless.
There's a purity to early Beach Boys recordings that is unmatched in the entire sphere of popular music.
If this is published
it must mean that no-one else wants to write for Rol. So the poor bloke has
three choices: (1) accept more drivel from me, (2) not post anything leaving Thursday
blank (just as Len Shackleton did in the chapter of his autobiography devoted
to football directors’ knowledge of football), or (3) write something himself.
I am titling this My
Top Ten “Mary Magdalene” Songs. My partner informed me that my belief about
Mary Magdalene is incorrect, so I am rather scurrilously repeating, well,
implying, a falsehood. Anyway, maybe after this Top Ten you will be able work
out what they all have in common.
First, from the only
album I’ve ever had autographed by a member of the band. Actually, that’s not
true, the one I got signed, I then swapped with my friend Euan. He wanted that
signature. He was more into his Metal For Muthas thing than I was, I think I
just got caught up in the hysteria in I&N’s record shop in Dundee and
bought the album. I’ve just pulled the album out, next to Iron Butterfly,
and it’s signed by the author (Dave Murray) of the song
Some songs have a very
off-putting title. For me the title suggests some sort of crappy nursery rhyme
song. Well, once I got beyond the (idiotic) title, I discovered a great soul
song, when sung by O. C. Smith.
It’s also a country
song, in the hands of, amongst others Sanford Clark.
I bought this single in Woolies in Broughty Ferry, after a visit to the
dentist (whose surgery was literally across the road). About 27 years later I
bought the album, which I’ve played no more than 5 times, I suspect three
times, and the third was due to this article.
And from an album
that easily meets that fine category of Second Is Better Than First. I got it
for £1. And that was £1 better spent than on the atrocious Pictures At An
Exhibition. It was a great song in 1979 and it still sounds great
(I had no idea what this song was actually about. - Rol.)
And where would a Top
Ten list be without The Tull. Every collection should have one of their albums.
From a concept album about the distinction between religion and god. They just
don’t make records like this anymore. Well, they do, Big Big Train (fronted by
a lovely bloke, ex-colleague of mine) are into prog. concept albums in a big
big way.
Best ‘til last. It’s
the only song of The Quo’s I like. And I really like this. In some places I
believe it’s illegal to not play this loudly.
The allegedly hardest
boy in my year group in secondary school was a big Quo fan. So he
scratched the band name on a desk. Well, he actually scratched Status Que.
We (i.e. my group of friends) were too scared of him to take the piss to
his face.
And here’s Mary
Magdalene in action!
(That's the second time George has inflicted Jesus Christ, Superstar on us. I blame Charity Chic for this.)
Songs that came close
were two offerings by Elton John. When he was good, namely Island Girl and
Sweet Painted Ladies. I also considered Trick Of The Light by The Who, which
came very close to replacing Morrissey. And NO! Nothing by The Police, it’s a
terrible song.
(When George asked me about doing this Top Ten, I encourage him to take the piss out of Sting more than that, Then again, Sting does a good enough job of that himself, I guess. And these guys do an even better job... right down to the cod-reggae.)
Thanks to Rol for
posting this. I suppose you all know what the theme was, but I did not want to
use any risque words for those of you doing what you should be doing, i.e. reading
this at work. And now I’m feeling slightly foolish as song number 6 blows that
out of the water.
I'd like to thank George for another excellent contribution to Guest Post Thursday. I actually thought I'd done a Top Ten Prostitute Songs at some point in the past, but it must have been one of those I never got round to finishing. George did an excellent job on what could be our last Guest Post Thursday...
