Last night I woke up at 3am and cried, "Utoxeter!"
I had no idea where Uttoxeter was, or even how to spell it... double t, who'd have guessed?
Apparently it's in Staffordshire, quite near Alton Towers, a theme park I frequented as a much younger man and will probably have to return to when Sam's a bit older, although you won't see me on any of the rides. Not any more. I get queasy at the thought of the carousel. Once, as a teenager, I rode the Corkscrew, the most exciting rollercoaster in the UK. They told me the other day that it's not even there anymore. My past is just relics and ruins.
I didn't hold out much hope of finding a song that mentioned Uttoxeter, especially when the only pop star to originate from the town appears to be Dave Sampson. You know, of Dave Sampson & The Hunters fame. Come on, they had a #29 hit in 1969, you must remember it?
No, me neither.
Fortunately, good old Graham McPherson came to my rescue with this amusing little ditty...
Our man is feeling rather wonderful
Lying somewhere comfortable
A-bathing on his yacht...oh
Our man is drinking drinks exotica
Dreaming of Uttoxeter
I think not
In years to come, I'll look back and think, "I could have been a proper writer, you know... if I hadn't wasted so much time finding songs about Uttoxeter and writing about them for six people to read on the internet"...*
*I almost said "six strangers" there, until it occured to me that I feel like I know you lot better than I know people I see in the flesh on an almost daily basis. Make of that what you will.
Of course, I should have checked in with Nigel first...
