I'm putting The Glorious 10th on hold for a while as it's become a bit of a chore. I'm enjoying Saturday Snapshots a lot more and that's kind of made The Glorious 10th superfluous. Apologies if you enjoyed it, but the second something on your blog becomes like work, you're better off retiring it or you'll just end up resenting the whole blog. I may bring it back next year in a slightly different way (that takes less adding up). We'll see.
Anyway, here's the answers to last month's Gimme... Top Ten. You can add up your own points if you want... that was starting to give me palpitations.
Really surprised that nobody got this, a lost power-punk gem from Stiff Records. Not to be confused with The UK Subs. This was their only single, but it was a belter.
Less surprising that this one wasn't guessed, but I was very into Jesse Hartman's music 15-20 years ago, and I had hoped one of you guys might have remembered him too.
Another one I'm hardly flabbergasted nobody got since the handful of you who'll admit to Queen fans promptly draw the line once the band enter the 80s. A Kind of Magic was my first Queen album though and I loved it to death - still do. This is one of many tracks from that album taken from the soundtrack of Highlander. Brian May's fireplace guitar is burning up here and how anyone can resist Freddie singing about being "the god of Kingdom Come", I'll never know.
Onto the obvious ones, then. I love ZZ Top, and most of you seemed to agree that this should be in there - Walter even guessed its #3 position on my chart!
This month's Glorious 10th challenge is to find ten songs which begin with the word'Gimme'. Some of them will be obvious. Some of them will be obscure.
Some of the really obvious ones won't make the ten at all.
First rule: the titles must begin with the word 'Gimme', NOT 'Give me'. So I'm really sorry, but you can't have this.
Points will
be allocated thus...
1 point for every song in my Top Ten you correctly guess.
2 points for being the first person to guess that song.
3 points for guessing the song's position in my Top Ten.
5 points for guessing my Number One song and correctly identify it as such.
1 bonus point for any song I have in my collection which I couldn't squeeze into the Top Ten (the 'long list').
1 bonus point for any new songs you suggest which I like.
Points will be deducted for really bad suggestions... and there are a couple of really bad ones I'm waiting to blow my klaxon at this month.
Final rule: you're only allowed TEN guesses each. (Otherwise, Martin just lists his entire record collection.)
Choose wisely then, because there were lots I had to miss out. And give each of your guesses a number, then you might score big points.
Oh - and I'm sorry, but you can't have anything by these guys...
The one they replaced it with when Woolworths refused to stock the album
because people were blowing their brains out all over the Pick 'n' Mix.
Welcome to the Glorious 10th. Thank you for playing along. I think you got almost all of them this month, although I'm sure you'll be surprised by some of the omissions.
Let's start with the ones that are in my record collection but didn't make the 10. The first person to name each of these gets a bonus point. Let's start with the one everyone thought would be there...
I need to bring back my old series The Top Ten Songs I Hated When I Was A Kid to properly discuss FGTH, although this wouldn't be the song I featured. I've had a curious relationship with this band, largely down to the fact that even as a teenager I felt I could see through the Paul Morley hype machine. I actually preferred Holly Johnson's solo work... though I did grow to give Frankie their due eventually. Not enough to squeeze them into this Top Ten though, sorry.
Steve can have 1 point for that though. And also for suggesting Welcome To The Terrordome... though I was always more of a Run DMC man than Public Enemy.
Lynchie (I'm sorry, Lynchie, I feel like I should be linking to you... is that possible?) gets a point for Manic Street Preachers - Welcome To The Dead Zone, which was a serious contender for a while. He also gets a point for another very close call, Alice Cooper - Welcome To My Nightmare. He doesn't get any points for Pink Floyd though. And neither does anyone else. However, he can have an extra point for saying that Bon Jovi - Welcome To Wherever You Are wouldn't be in my Top Ten. It is in my record collection though. (Which probably doesn't surprise any of you.) So is this, which nobody mentioned, but it's much better than Jon By-Jovi...
Oh, and before I go any further, I can honestly say that I had never heard Mr. Mister - Welcome To The Real World until you lot started banging on about it. And I don't want to ever hear it again, thanks.
Martin arrived then, desperate to reclaim his crown after last month's poor showing, swooping up bonus points for... Fleetwood Mac - Welcome to the room, Sara, The Kinks - Welcome To Sleazy Town, and Prince - Welcome 2 The Dawn. I know, I know, last month I said Prince was a shoe-in for the Top Ten, but I forgot this because of his annoying habit of using text speak in his songs. One extra bonus point to Martin for remembering it despite that.
And I'm going to stop Martin there, because I'm sure I had a rule somewhere about limiting your guesses to ten. Well, if I didn't, I do now. Some of Martin's "bubbling under" suggestions might have nabbed him points... one of them would have scored big if he'd chosen to take it off the boil and cook it properly. Oh, and I did promise him this: he loses a point for Oxide & Neutrino. I mean, really.
The Swede gets a point for Welcome To Feeling by Sam Beam & Jesca Hoop, another one from my infinite Wants List. And that's even shorter than the Dandy Warhols track above!
Martin can have a point for Tori Amos - Welcome To England, which isn't as annoying as I worried it might be. Although the video is pretty much Wicker Man meets The Omen.
Then Jez rolled up again with Summer Camp – Welcome to Condale, which I liked, and something from the Frank Sidebottom movie soundtrack which I couldn't find online, but as I never really saw the point of Frank Sidebottom, no points there.
Finally George crawled out of bed a few days after everyone else and with his usual style and aplomb went for the booby prize by suggesting Welcome To The Show by Barclay James Harvest. And because it really is as bad as George said, I'm going to give him 3 points for that.
Another pretty good Welcome To... album without a title track.
OK, enough of the runners up. Let's get to the big ten! What beat Frankie?
I figured Charity Chic might steal the points for this one since it was one of his famous bargain buys, and sure enough he not only guessed it, but also - incredibly - predicted its Number 9 placing. Which gets him 5 points!
An obvious inclusion, which I was sure Steve would get the points for... but didn't. Lynchie gets 2 for being first to suggest it. Jez, Martin & CC also get 1 for knowing it would be in my 10.
CC got a point for being the first to suggest Ballboy, although he went for the song Welcome To The New Year instead of this. It was down to George to steal the 2 point glory by remembering this lesser known track intead.
I would argue that Brandon Flowers now makes more interesting records as a solo artist than in his day job with The Killers. I don't know if Rigid Digit agrees with me, but he gets another 2 points for being the only one to mention this anyway.
What: no Son of Dork fans out there? Shame on you!
All of which brings us to The Top Five, and a pretty amazing Top Five it is, I'm sure you'll agree (though you may well disagree about the order).
Charity Chic gets 2 points here, though sadly his prediction of it being my #2 song fell a bit short. It could well have been: it is a classic.
In another world, Martin and Rigid Digit could wear a dress. They get a point for knowing it would be in my Top Ten, as does Alyson... though I suppose she already wears one.
Here's the one nobody got: and right now, a dozen Steely Dan fans are kicking themselves. I can understand why you missed it, but remember (brackets are allowed) the challenge was "to find ten songs with the words 'Welcome to...' in the title". I never said they had to be at the beginning.
Of course, this had to be in there. It could have even been #2, but when I listened to the runner-up contenders back-to-back, my actual #2 just edged it for me. Still an amazing song, whatever your thoughts on Axl Rose.
The Swede got this first - 2 points for that. Rigid Digit gets 1 too. Alyson misses out under the Martin Rule, because she made the mistake of saying it would be on my long list rather than in the Top Ten. Shame.
I was surprised how few of you suggested this. Either you all think my record collection largely stopped in the 20th Century, or yours does. This is probably Gerard Way's finest hour, a glorious slab of emo-pomp: Queen meets Radiohead meets David Lynch. And the video has everything a great pop song needs: comas, nurses, skeleton costumes, zombies, post apocaltyptic ruins, exploding televisions and overdone allegory. Eat that, Paul Morley!
Anyway, the only person I can legitimately award points to for this is Jez. Martin misses out for over-guessing and suggesting this would be "bubbling under". No way, this is boiling over!
1. Elvis Costello - Welcome to the
Working Week
Well, there could only be one winner, and if Elvis had a song on his first few albums that fit the bill, chances are it would be him. One minute 24 seconds of sheer audio bliss: now that's how to write a pop song!
Now that your picture's in the paper being rhythmically admired And you can have anyone that you have ever desired All you gotta tell me now is why, why, why, why?
Indeed. The Swede gets 2 default points for being the first to mention it, but everyone who thought it would / should be Number One gets 5 points. So that's 5 points for Charity Chic, Martin, C, Alyson and Brian. Rigid can have a point too, though he didn't number his predictions.
Points, then. And what do points make? Well, in this game they make points. (The usual apologies if I've added them up wrong.)
Steve - 2 points (play properly next time)
Lynchie, Jez & George - 5 points
Brian - 6 points
The Swede - 7 points
Alyson - 8 points
C & Rigid Digit - 9 points
Martin - 11 points
But this month's undisputed champion, with a peerless 15 points is...
Charity Chic.
Well done, Stevie.
Thank you all for playing. Next month's challenge will be along any second.
We're back (a little earlier than advertised, but I wanted it still to be the 10th).
As promised, I'm changing the rules this month to make things a bit more interesting / easy / difficult / different from the WYCRA feature I ripped off. (In the back of my head, I still hold a tiny hope that the WYCRA gang might one day return, and if they did, and wanted to resume their brief of getting everybody to suggest one word song titles on a Saturday morning, I don't want to have used them all up).
This month's Glorious 10th challenge then is to find ten songs with the words 'Welcome to...' in the title. Some of them will be obvious. Some of them will be obscure. Some of the really obvious ones won't make the ten at all. Points will be allocated thus...
1 point for every song in my Top Ten you correctly guess.
2 points for being the first person to guess that song.
3 points for guessing the song's position in my Top Ten.
5 points for being the first to guess my Number One song and correctly identify it as such.
1 bonus point for any song I have in my collection which I couldn't squeeze into the Top Ten (the 'long list').
1 bonus point for any new songs you suggest which I like.
Points will be deducted for really bad suggestions (i.e. U2 or Oasis), or anything that gets me sacked for watching the video at work, Jez.
The only thing you can't have is albums called Welcome To... (unless there's also a track called that on said album). With that in mind, you can't have the track below, although it is a belter: from Welcome To The Beautiful South.
Time to reveal My Top Ten Songs called Hello, and just Hello... or a repeated use of that word... or Hello (with something extra in brackets). Once again, I was overjoyed with the response. Thanks to all who played along and trawled their record collections for suitable suggestions (and unsuitable ones). I'll do my best to tally up the points below...
First off the incorrect answers...
(Remember, I will award bonus points for songs I own that didn't make the Top Ten and any that I didn't know but might have given a place to if I had.)
Straight off the mark, C can have a bonus point for suggesting The Rentals, a band created by former Weezer bassist Matt Sharp. I'd never heard it before, but it's not half bad.
C was then first to suggest Adele, which I do own... mainly because I ripped the other half's copy of 25... so that gets a point too. I like Adele and if this had been recorded in 1975, it might have made the chart. I just don't like the modern production sheen that's slopped over it... and most other 21st Century chart hits. It saps the soul from what is otherwise a rather nice tune. In my humble opinion. Similarly Charity Chic's suggestion of Beyoncé. I don't mind a bit of Beyoncé, but this one sounds a bit Beyoncé-by-the-numbers. (I'm very impressed that Beyoncé is such a big star that autocorrect automatically adds an accent to her name. You know you've arrived, etc.) And because I like Mark Owen best out of all the remaining Take Thatters, I'm going to give Alyson a bonus point for this. Because it's quite chipper.
The Swede can also have a bonus point for D.R. Hooker, which I had to listen to the whole album to hear because the single track wasn't on youtube... but it is suitably mental. I'm tempted to deduct a point for his suggestion of Oasis... but then loads of other people went and suggested it too. The chances of Oasis ever cropping up on this chart are somewhere in the remote territory between slim and feck all. Just so you know.
George can have a bonus point for Terry & Gerry, which I can't find anywhere on t'internet, but I'm assuming it's great. Because George suggested it. Or maybe his point is for reminding us how great Hello Walls by Faron Young is. It's a point, anyway: treasure it, George.
Lynchie can have a bonus point for being first to suggest Hello Hello by Talk Show, which I'd never heard before. Apparently they were very big in 1997... in Brazil. Not bad for its era though.
Last month's winner, Martin, can also have a bonus point for suggesting Bic Runga - Hello Hello. I love a bit of Bic, but hadn't heard this one before. Nothing for Evanescence though. I liked the piano, but I kept waiting for it to get going. I'm going to be vicious though and deduct a point for his suggestion of Elton John and Lady Gaga, because a) it's awful; and b) it comes from a film called Gnomeo & Juliet. Neither of them needed the money that much. Martin also can't have any points for Matthew Sweet (and Susannah Hoffs), but only because their cover of the old Todd Rundgren track in question has other words in its title: Hello, It's Me. Otherwise, it's a decent track.
Walter can have a bonus point for Eminem. This is in my collection, but it's mid-period Eminem which is pretty weak. I prefer his earlier stuff and the comeback album.
Jez can't have any bonus points for Martin Solveig Feat. Dragonette (although the video is rather entertaining) or the Stafford Brothers feat. Lil' Wayne & Christina Milian (which is a great example of the mystery of modern chart pop: how can so many people want to put their name to such utter dribble?). Jez also wins the coveted Worst Suggestion Of The Month award (minus two points) for Hello Hello by Twinkle... which my boss caught me watching at work, and now I'm looking for a new job.
Final bonus points go to my old Aussie pal Deano for bringing The Cat Empire, Dan Zanes and Merril Bainbridge to my attention. Good work, even though none of them make the list below...
Nobody got this one, even after I gave a clue. I'm not the biggest expert on Henry Rollins, and I do find his music a bit shouty at times, but he seems like a decent enough bloke on the radio. Found the album this comes from (Nice) in a charity shop and it's been well worth the 95p I paid for it.
I know, I know. It's hard enough getting people to admit to liking ELO. What chance have I with the Jeff Lynne-less Part II formed in the late 80s by original drummer Bev Bevan? They released two albums of new material in the 90s, following the ELO template of orchestrated Beatles shenanigans, but without Jeff's magic touch. Still, not bad if you like that kind of stuff.
Nobody got this one either... until I gave a partially accurate clue: "A forgotten Britpop band formed by half of a more famous group." C then did her research and came up with John Squire's short-lived Stone Roses replacement, a band that split up after one album in the late 90s due to "creative differences" and the fact that Squire thought their new material sounded "shit".
C suggested this first, even though she couldn't remember what it was called. Then she did remember, so two points for that. 1 point for everyone else who remembered it: bonus point to Jez for remembering that it had a bracketed Petrol on the end. This is from 1990, a pretty awful year for music so I'm not surprised it wasn't a hit. Surely poodle rock haircuts were out by then too? Couldn't lead singer Tom Dunne keep up with fashion and buy himself a pudding bowl?
The lyrics make this for me...
She wears diamonds, she wears rubies She wears stones as big as my ones That came from the coliseum And she says "D'you wanna see them?"
She came from Greece, she had a thirst for knowledge?
Millionaires is, to me at least, the great unsung James album. This is one of the tracks. It's rather lovely. Apparently it was also used in the soundtrack to a movie I've never seen called The Consequence of Love.
Jez was the first (and only!) person to suggest this. That gets him 2 points. It's not my Number 1 though, Jez.
If you were in any doubt that I would choose this song, the brackets should have tipped you over the edge. 2 points to Rigid Digit for suggesting this first. 1 point to anybody else who suggested it.
Here's the one I didn't think anyone would guess... and guess what? Nobody guessed it.
To be honest, I knew chuff-all about My Pleasure until I saw an advert on facebook suggesting I might like his music. I seem to remember there was an offer from his record company (Adult Teeth) to get a free EP, so I sent away for this... and then didn't listen to it all for a year. Until I came to compile this chart, in fact. When I did listen to it, I thought it was great. Lo-fi indie "weird pop" with shades of Jarvis, Half Man Half Biscuit, Denim et al. Worth your listening time if you're into any of those.
(Oh, but if you look back at the clue I gave for this one, you'll see that I couldn't have been more obvious if I'd tried!)
As obscure as this was, it wasn't quite as obscure as The Swede's suggestion of this Beatles "track". He gets one point for Most Obscure Suggestion of the Month.
Perhaps I should start a new series here called Defending The Indefensible, seeing as though so many of you expressed an aversion to this fine tune (even Alyson!). The Swede was first to hint at it, though he couldn't bring himself to speak its name so doesn't get any points. C named it but refused to make it an official suggestion, preferring to guess at Adele instead. Lynchie was the first one to suggest it seriously, even though he thought The Swede had beaten him to it. 2 points to Lynchie. 1 point to the rest of you, no points for the haters.
Anyway, the point is, I can see why this song causes so much upset. Of course I can. Big slushy 80s ballads are never going to be cool (unless you were a very uncool 12 year old in 1984). But I think this song deserves appreciation for being something else entirely. Indeed, if I wasn't featuring it here, I would have to squeeze it into Volume 2 of My Top Ten Stalker Songs, because it's creepy as hell... much more so than Every Breath You Take. Plus Lionel will always be cooler than Sting. (Cat: meet pigeons.) And don't even start me on the (yes, much-parodied) video in which Lionel proves, undisputedly that stalking DOES pay... but maybe only if you're stalking blind girls.
The proof of a good song though often comes in its re-interpretations. So if the big synthy strings and over-produced 80s echo of Lionel's original might stick in your throat, can I suggest versions by Me First & The Gimme Gimmes (pop punk), Richard Cheese (lounge), Paul Anka (swing*) or even Lionel himself, paired with Jennifer Nettles (country... or so it says on the label).
No?
Your loss.
(*Sez Jez: "from Anka’s 'Rock Swings', which shows a fundamental misunderstanding of the phrase 'Rock'")
Here's a little clue to help you with future editions of The Glorious 10th. If Prince has a song with the word/s of the month, chances are it'll be near the top. Hello was the b-side to Pop Life, available on the peerless 3CD Prince: The Hits & B-Sides compilation, but also (as Jez points out) there's a somewhat different Hello backwards at the end of Side 1 of Purple Rain.
C was the first to guess this. 2 points. 1 to the rest of you: though many of you seemed to think it would be my Number 4, perhaps because those of you were only familiar with the backwards version thought I was being sneaky. Which I would have been...
1. The Beloved
I have something of a love-hate relationship with the whole baggy era (and indeed, I'm not even sure The Beloved fit into the baggy category, though they're from that era and the sound and look fit). There were undeniably some great songs recorded by those bands, but they were always a bit cool and laddy for me to cherish the way I would the Britpop bands a couple of years later. Of course, the worst excesses of Britpop were even laddier, but at least they weren't flirting with dance music and rave culture as much: both of which left me cold.
Hello is my favourite tune by The Beloved despite its Church of Rave qualities, because the lyrical choices are so gleefully uncool. It sounds like Paul McCartney's far-worthier Let 'Em In has been rewritten by a bunch of cheeky 6th Formers... which is exactly what I was in 1989. Where else will you find Willy Wonka, The Supremes, Cannon & Ball, Desmond Tutu, Mork & Mindy, Billy Corkhill, Salman Rushdie, Kym Mazelle, Zippy, Bungle and Jeffrey Archer all in the same song? (Plus Vince Hilaire, who Rigid Digit describes as "Crystal Place and Portsmouth midfield maestro", thereby answering a question I have pondered for 27 years.)
Congratulations (and 2 points) to CC for being the first to guess this one, and (5 points) to my old pal Dave for being the first to guess it would be Number One. Although Dave has an advantage in that we are the same age and we survived the 90's gigging scene together, plus he likes Zippy & Bungle. And probably even Jeffrey Archer. 1 point to everyone else who mentioned it.
OK, so time for the scores on the doors. (RIP, Bruce.) I've added these up as best I can, taking into account all the arcane rules I made up for such things. Apologies if I miscalculated your score, but I'm sure you'll live.
1 point - George (Although last month when I gave George 1 point, he protested that I shouldn't have.)
2 points - Alyson, The Swede, Martin (how the mighty have fallen) and Walter.
3 points - Lynchie, Deano & Rigid Digit.
4 points - Jez.
5 points - Dave and Charity Chic.
But this month's undisputed winner, with a majestic NINE points, has to be...
Well done, C. You win the glory of being a real winner. Enjoy your prize.
Now, I know what you're all waiting for. What you really came here for. Never mind the answers to last month's Glorious 10th... what about this month's?
Come on back tomorrow. I'm knackered now. I had to marshall a birthday party for 20 hyperactive 4 year-olds yesterday, you know!
This is my new monthly feature, stolen from the guys at WYCRA who aren't using it anymore (with respect and the encouragement of a number of former WYCRA readers).
I decided to do this once a month, and it made sense to do it on the 10th day of every month, hence 'The Glorious 10th'. So you have up till the 10th of September (or just before) to leave your suggestions.
Here are the rules...
1. You can suggest as many songs as you like that are called Hello, but they have to be called JUST Hello and nothing else... so you can't have Hello Goodbye or Hello, I Love You, and you can't have songs that feature Hello prominently in the lyrics, such as Pop Song '89 by REM. Sorry.
2. There are a few exceptions to Rule 1. You are allowed a repetition of the title word: so if you know any songs called Hello Hello or Hello Hello Hello, you can suggest them. You are also allowed songs which included parentheses: so if you know a song called Hello (I Hate You) or (I Just Called To Say) Hello, they would be allowed too... as long as every other word in the title is inside the brackets. I will also allow plurals: Hellos; and punctuation: Hello!? Chances are none of these rules will help you this time, but they may in future. Mis-spellings probably won't be allowed unless I really, really like the song. Sorry, Noddy.
3. If there are a number of versions of the same song, I may not pick the original. If you guess the right song but not the right artist, you'll get half marks (1 for first to guess, half for everyone else).
4. You will be allowed a maximum of 10 guesses, since I only have ten songs. I'll count your first 10, after that no points will be awarded.
5. Points will be awarded thus:
1 point for every song in my Top Ten you correctly guess.
2 points for being the first person to guess that song.
3 points for guessing the song's position in my Top Ten.
5 points for guessing my Number One song and correctly identifying it as such.
1 bonus point for any song I have in my collection which I couldn't squeeze into the Top Ten.
1 bonus point for any new songs you suggest which I like.
Points will be deducted for really bad suggestions (i.e. U2).
Over to you...
10. 9. 8. 7. 6. 5. 4. If anybody gets Number 4, I'll give you 10 points. 3. 2. 1.
Good luck.
Here's the best song that wasn't allowed...
And finally, just in case there was any doubt about it: yes, I will go there.
Hello, I must be going...
P.S. I just noticed that Jez finally brought The Chain late last night. Must be something in the air.
