After last week's post about my old Chemistry teacher, Mr. Dowling, Brian commented...
I took the bare minimum of sciences in high school and college out of pure laziness. The only teacher I remember from those classes was Mrs. Fischer, for reasons that had nothing to do with class content.
All of which brings us to the thorny issue of fancying your teacher... something which I have more songs about that any other issue in school...
Now I may be misremembering here, but the only teacher I can recall who made me come over all Prince...
...was Miss Crosby from the Art Department. The "Miss" was important, I'm sure.
There were three art teachers I remember from school. Miss Roche wore dungarees and also taught what would now be called CDT. The big thing I remember from her lessons was making a letter opener out of blue Perspex... an object which would have high demand as a shank in any prison in the country. I still have that letter opener today, though it gets far less use than it did in the 80s and 90s. I don't even shank people with it any more.
And then there was Miss Crosby, the archetypal "fit" teacher. That word seems rather archaic now - do people still say "fit"? It was the 80s and we were teenage lads. Everyone fancied Miss Crosby. I think it's fair to say that she was a big factor in my choosing to continue doing Art at A Level, even though I only got a C in GCSE.
I didn't do very well at A Level Art (I got an E). Partly because the Art department expected you to spend all your time doing Art when I was far more focussed on my primary subjects (English Language & Literature). Don't take A Level Art as a third option. Nobody will thank you for it. And that's where I saw another side of Miss Crosby too - she could be lovely to those kids who spent every lunchtime in the Art room working on their projects... but those of us with less commitment, she tended to shun.
Also, we tended to see far less of Miss Crosby once we started A Levels (it was almost like she'd laid a honey trap and now we were caught in it - and the numbers for A Level art were good! - then her work was done). Instead, most of our lessons seemed to be with the third member of the Art Department, Mrs. Birkenshaw, an older lady who dressed liked Crystal Carrington in Dynasty (shoulder pads were big at the time, and no bigger than on Mrs. Birkenshaw). You could always tell she was coming from a mile off because her appearance was heralded by a choking cloud of Calvin Klein's Obsession... though she was no Isabella Rossellini.
We used to stand in the corridor as she passed, humming the theme tune to Dynasty as loud as we could get away with... I don't think she ever twigged. Or maybe she did, and liked the attention.
There's a lesson to be had here about the futility of fancying your teacher... but I doubt any of you need to be taught it. And just imagine what it's like to be on the other side of that equation...
As usual, we lost a fair few famous people over the festive period - Tom Wilkinson, Bob Johnson from Steeleye Span, Jacques Delors (the man credited with Maggie's downfall) and Wish You Were Here director Bob Leland, among others - but none of them appeared in any memorable songs... so I'm taking this feature back to basics with another Hollywood legend, High Noon star Gary Cooper.
We'll start today with one for George. It's Genoese singer songwriter Lorenzo Pupeschi, aka...
Piero Antonio Franco de Benedictis was also born in Italy - though he moved to Argentina when he was 3, going on to carve quite a career for himself as a singer songwriter in the Latin American charts...
Still rocking, Peter Criss was one of the founding members of Kiss. He was fired in 1979 for not having the right make-up*. Then he went solo... I'm guessing the song below might have been aimed at his former bandmates.
I ain't gonna be no whipping boy for you no more
I'm tired of swallowing my pride
I wanna tell you just the way I feel
I got a heart made of steel
I feel like Gary Cooper in the noonday sun
My heart's a loaded .44
I've spent a lifetime burning up inside
You can run but you can't hide
(*I made that bit up, in case Mr. Criss's lawyers are reading.)
Bill Chinnock came from New Jersey, where he played alongside future E Street Band regulars Danny Federici and Vini Lopez in the late 60s. He never made the big time, but he did win an Emmy Award for his song Somewhere In The Night which was used as the theme tune to US soap Search For Tomorrow.
If I'd heard this song back in the mid 80s, I would have bought it.
You've taken all my heroes
And left me with nothing but late night TV
Gary Cooper and James Dean are all I've left to see
And now for a double act who came 5th in the 1976 Eurovision Song Contest, representing Austria. They also took part in the pre-selection process for the 2004 contest, losing out to a boy band called Tie Break, after which they lodged a formal complaint that Tie Break's entry broke contest rules by being longer than 3 minutes, "clocking in at between 3:09 and 3:11 depending on the stereo used." Their complaint was not upheld.
There was one song that came up over and over again in my search today, and it was also the song that sent me down this particular rabbit hole in the first place. It was written by Irving Berlin in 1929 - I have to admit, I didn't think it was quite that old, or that Gary Cooper was even on the scene way back then, but it turns out he was an emerging star of the silent movie generation at the time. Which is why good old Irving chose to namecheck him thus...
Dressed up like a million-dollar trouper
Trying hard to look like Gary Cooper (super duper)
Come, let's mix where Rockefellers
Walk with sticks or umbrellas in their mitts
Puttin' on the Ritz
Puttin' On The Ritz has been recorded by all the usual suspects - Bing, Ella, Fred, Judy - as well as some more surprising interpreters...
Arguably the most famous version of the song was released in 1982 by Indonesian-Dutch (by way of Germany) synth-popper Taco. Although it didn't reach the UK Top 40, it was a worldwide one hit wonder. In the USA, it made Irving Berlin, then 95, the oldest living songwriter to ever have a hit in the Billboard Top Ten.
In my past two Self Help For Cynics posts, I've
looked at how the brain uses stories to build neural pathways. This can be a
positive thing in that it helps us learn knowledge, skills and how to survive…
but it can also be negative if the stories we use to learn end up reinforcing
bad habits, unpleasant ideas or defeatist emotions. Last time, I explained how a nasty
teenage experience had created neural pathways in my head that made me hate New
Order. However, just the act of writing about that experience has honestly
lessened the animosity I feel towards a band that’s never done me any harm.
There are two explanations for this. Firstly, understanding why we think the
way we do is the first step towards changing the way we think. (That’s the main
reason I’m writing this series.) Secondly, you can overwrite bad neural
pathways with good ones by replacing negative experiences (stories) with
positive ones. Here’s another example from my terrible teens…
Chumbawamba - Homophobia Was I a homophobic teenager? I grew up in the 1970s and 80s. Positive representations of gay people
in the media were limited to Larry Grayson and Mr. Humphries from Are You Being
Served? Camp, limp-wristed caricatures. In the pop world, we had the Village
People and then Boy George. Many less stereotypically gay stars like
Elton John and George Michael kept their secrets for a long time. Even
Freddie Mercury – one of my teenage pop heroes – refused to confirm his
sexuality, right up to the point he told us he was dying of AIDS. Tom Robinson
might have proclaimed himself glad to be gay in 1978, but I certainly didn’t
hear about it.
Far worse than the clichéd media portrayal of homosexuality was the strong
undercurrent of homophobia fostered by straight male society. “Backs against
the wall, lads”, “shirtlifters”, “poofters”… these were phrases I heard on a
weekly basis from my peers, my elders… even on TV. Add to this that the only
openly gay person in my school was a bitchy viper of a boy (probably a defence
mechanism, and I can hardly blame him for that)… well, you can see how my
storytelling brain was busy building negative neural pathways throughout my early
adolescence.
Pushed around and kicked around, always a lonely boy
You were the one that they'd talk about around town as they put you down
Things did start to change in the mid 80s, with more openly gay
celebrities, and alternative music and comedy which celebrated LGBT culture. It
was at this point when I finally started to question the prejudice I’d been a
part of in my early years of high school. But it wasn’t till I started working
in radio, at 16, that the stories in my brain were completely rewritten. At the
radio station I worked at, there were a lot of openly gay men. And as I got
to know them, I liked them. Often more than I liked some of my more hetero,
alpha male type colleagues. Some became lifelong friends and so my storytelling
brain was forced to write new, stronger neural pathways that cancelled out my
old prejudicial ones.
Spearmint - Your New Gay Friend All this just reinforces the value of positive representation in the
media, in my mind at least. The anti-woke brigade rail against the fact that
every TV show these days has to feature a variety of sexualities, skin colours,
genders and differently-abled individuals. But only through frequent exposure
to people who are not the same as ourselves will our brains stop fearing these
unknown beings who are actually just like us, for good and bad. This all seems
a bit obvious to me, to the point where I’m not sure I needed to write it…
certainly not for the open-minded folk who read this blog. I’m preaching to the
converted.
Those that are harder to convert – the ones who turn off their TVs
whenever they see a gay kiss, for example – maybe they’re beyond help. And
there are certainly plenty of storytelling options available to them
(particularly online) which feed and reinforce their own negative neural
pathways. We’re a long way from a utopia.
As to the Audi drivers… I keep hoping one day I’ll have a positive
experience that allows me to rewrite the neural pathway prejudice I feel
towards them. They can’t all be bad…?
Following the appearance by Doctor Jones ("the dog was called Indiana") on yesterday's Snapshots, I thought it would be nice to lead today with a woman who could always drink him under the table: Marion Ravenwood, aka Karen Allen. She was pretty good at dealing with Starmen too.
8. Fictional world - anagram rejected on grounds of taste & decency.
I could not bring myself to come up with an anagram for Bucks Fizz.
Before you accuse me of scraping the barrel, Bucks Fizz will always have a special place in my heart as the band that encouraged my sexual awakening. This track is just pure cheese though...
As this is the Hot 100, there was no finer band to illustrate Number 8 on our countdown than the Hot 8 Brass Band. If this doesn't put a smile on your face, rigor mortis may have set in...
Just noticed your request regarding artist first and title second. Sorry! I'll make sure to do that next week if I come up with anything - gotta run now!
That's OK. I'm used to being ignored.
Couple missing from The Swede's list there. We may come back to those later.
George can't get up quite as early as The Swede. I'll put that down to the time difference.
And Douglas McLaren picked out an all-time favourite of mine... and Styx.
You know the 80's lover in you is having a hard time choosing a winner between Tommy Tutone's "867-5309 (Jenny)" and Styx, "Pieces of 8" (though that one came out late '79 I think). Oh well, if R.E.M. or The Byrds win out (as in justice they should), at least Tommy Tutone has a chance almost every week upcoming! And if you listen to the opening jangly guitar intro, you might almost think it was going to be an early era R.E.M. song. Until the Big Dumb Eighties production values kick in, and Tommy opens his mouth and utters the absurd pick up line lyrics.
(Have you noticed how since I asked The Swede to put the band names first, everybody has switched to doing it song titles first? Oh well, more work for the wicked.)
John Medd, meanwhile, was still smarting over my rejection of ELP last week. But once he'd got over that...
All of which brings us to the debate over this week's winner, which comes down to two songs, both of which were initially identified by early bird The Swede. First, this...
Leave it to Brian to find another version... one which I'm surprised The Swede didn't mention...
I will go along with Eight Miles High, but I'm going to throw the version by Robyn Hitchcock and the Egyptians into the mix. Terrific B-side to So You Think You're In Love.
But it did seem like Eight Miles High was going to walk away with the crown this week.
And then came The Swede's other big suggestion...
REM - Driver 8
Martin:Good call, Driver Eight by REM would be my nailed-on choice for this week.
Swiss Adam:R.E.M. from the 80s seem to be all over this end of the countdown don't they?
Perhaps not quite as many votes as The Byrds, but...
Driver 8 was one of the first pre-Green REM songs I really became aware of (apart from The One I Love, obviously). This was because one of my favourite comics of the late 80s / early 90s (Doom Patrol) which featured a minor character called Driver 8, and that brief reference made me go hunt down the song.
I saw a treehouse on the outskirts of the farm
The power lines have floaters so the airplanes won't get snagged
Bells are ringing through the town again
The children look up, all they hear is sky-blue, bells ringing
Next week... the most popular lucky number in the world.
Thank you to C for suggesting this week's band... 14 Iced Bears. She says...
I couldn't tell you any of their songs any more unfortunately, although have vivid memories of ordering in their singles for some devoted indie fans at the time of their release and (in my head at least) being very disparaging about their chosen name. Now I think it's rather lovely!
I would like to back up C and proclaim that the 14 Iced Bears were awesome. Unfortunately, their sleeves were nothing to write home about. Perhaps the cover for The Importance Of Being Frank EP would suffice for art.
I'm not sure what that is above, Brian, but it was the one with the clearest 14 I could find.
Another relatively quiet week on the countdown, compared to the excesses of 16 and 17, although we're all just girding our loins in preparation for the Top Ten.
Here's what you had for me this wee, starting with Martin, who's still smarting from forgetting two Gene tracks last week...
Hats off to you Rol for putting this together as my brain is incapable of concentrating on anything at the moment. Yes, my choices above not really my thing, but fitted the brief. From the same source I have just found something called:
Interesting, as dance remakes of Welcome To The Pleasuredome go. The lyrics you quote don't appear to come from that track though, Alyson. They come from Love Song To The Earth by Sean Paul, featuring Natasha Bedingfield & Paul "anything to stay cred" McCartney. As C remarks, it's apt to the current world situation... but doesn't have any 14s in it, I'm afraid.
Time for Jim in Dubai, who also found it tough this week...
Those last two are definitely worth a click. I'll let you get back to your virtual queue now, RD... because I bet you're still stuck in it, 7 days after you left that xomment.
Lynchie appeared equally stuck for inspiration this week...
I couldn't think of any songs with 14 in the title but then I discovered...
...on which is voice sounds nothing like it did on "Tiptoe Through The Tulips". It's a pretty deep voice which led me to believe it might be an imposter. The lyrics kick off with:
Fourteen!
Fourteen girls in baggy pyjamas
What if I'd gone to the south Bahamas
...and just get weirder.
I'm only guessing here, but I don't think that's the same Tiny Tim. But thank you anyway.
Thankfully, the Swede is here to restore us to sanity...
...from The Impossible Bird. I think this is his best album, and that's saying something.
I seem to remember there was some discussion about this over at your place recently, Brian. I'd still always plump for Jesus of Cool, but those later albums are pretty special.
OK, time to scrape the dregs from my own hard-drive...
All of which brings us to this week's winner... and to be honest with you, I pretty much thought that Rigid Digit had walked away with it. I was all set to crown this the champion...
...until a final scour through the library shook out this little gem. Frankly, I'm ashamed to say I'd forgotten it... and a number of my regulars will probably share that same shame.
Take it away, Billy...
Unlucky for all of us, next week is 13. Not that we need any more bad luck at the moment. Suggestions, please...
Farenheit 43 are an Australian rock band who cite their influences as The Eagles, John Mayer and the Goo Goo Dolls.
Quite.
(Except, you know, I like the Eagles. And John Mayer made a couple of good tunes once upon a time. And Iris... Iris was a half-decent song. Still, the cool ones among you are, I'm sure, recoiling in horror despite all that.)
Anyway, Number 43 in our countdown caused a little bit of head-scratching from the gallery... but you still managed to come up with the following...
The Swede, meanwhile, only managed one suggestion this week...
Shrimp Boat (Sam Prekop's pre-Sea and Cake band) - Drought of '43
No link, I'm afraid. Couldn't find that one anywhere. Maybe The Swede made it up... No, I'm sure he wouldn't do that.
Finally, Douglas McClaren offering one of my favourite songs by this particular band, "a timely reminder of a very fine fine group that will sadly record no more." Indeed.
(That last one is this week's runner-up - well worth a click.)
However, as I stated at the end of last week's post, there really was only one obvious winner for me this week, and Jim in Dubai was the one to correctly identify it... definitely my favourite song by this band.
Lovely stuff.
Next week... the answer to life, the universe and everything. What might that be?
My attention always picks up whenever reviewers start comparing a new release with Bruce Springsteen, particularly Born To Run era Boss. To be honest, over the years, I've bought any number of odd records - from Lady Gaga to Lana Del Rey - based on such comparisons, and often found myself scratching my head... though after some immersion, I can usually see what they mean. It's not about sounding like Bruce in most cases, it's about tackling similar themes or creating a similar atmosphere or using a similar storytelling style. I'm sure Dylan fans go through the same process on a regular basis... I wonder how many of them ended up disappointed when they bought Greetings From Asbury Park, N.J. on the back of such comparisons?
Anyway, the lead single from the new Ezra Furman album, Suck The Blood From My Wound, garnered many a "sounds a bit like BTR" nod, so I had to investigate further. The themes are definitely present, with lines such as these easily recalling Bruce and Wendy's fervent desire to break out of New Jersey...
And I'm doing ninety, got to get there and hold him If we can make it across the state line then baby, we're golden Let the law pronounce its' petty assertions They've been outsmarted by a couple of urchins
Park for the night north west of Baton Rouge Across the parking lot you're stretching the one wing you can move I let you walk as long as fear will allow I never loved you more than I love you now
And then we're back on the road before the sun's even up We're making time, we're making progress But progress towards what? Your fallen feathers fill up two shopping bags The future's breathing down the neck of the past And the sun throws a shit-eating shine on the moon And I'm not about to wait for them to come Suck the blood from my wound
Although the single carries the most obvious Bruce connotations, there are moments on the rest of the album that also lead me to believe Ezra's been channeling the Boss. There's a desperation to his voice that you hear on a lot of Springsteen records, and just like Bruce... well, he's not the best singer. You hear him reaching for notes he probably shouldn't attempt on a number of occasions, and getting by on sheer determination. I've reached the conclusion that I prefer singers who aren't that great at singing, yet succeed despite that. Bruce readily admits this, and nobody would allow Billy Bragg or Elvis Costello or Frank Turner into their church choir, but their voices connect with me in a way many note-perfect performers just don't. I mean, I love James Dean Bradfield, but he makes it look so damned easy. He never breaks a sweat. I think ultimately I prefer artists who have to work for it - and Ezra is definitely pushing himself to the limit on this disc.
Even if you're not a Springsteen aficionado though, there's still plenty to enjoy on Transangelic Exodus. For me, the other major touchstone on this record is Rufus Wainwright. Furman is excellent at bringing the perspective of a young gay man to classic rock song storylines: something we don't often hear. Love You So Bad tackles a typical teenage romance song from this perspective, whereas closing track I Lost My Innocence, lyrically at least, really could be Rufus doing Born To Run...
I looked a real long time To find the border Of a kingdom of love, outside the Reigning order And I found my angel on a motorcycle I'm a queer for life Outlaw, outsider and uh
Most telling of all is the song Compulsive Liar, on which Furman puts his untrustworthiness and gift for fanciful storytelling down to the fact that many young LGBT people teach themselves to lie to the world from a very young age...
And I can trace the habit To when I was eleven And I thought boys were pretty And I couldn't tell no one
And if all that isn't enough to pique your interest in Transangelic Exodus, then may I at least offer that this record must surely contain some of the year's best rhymes? Where else will you find Pasadena rhymed with deus ex machina or Vincent rhymed with innocence, instance, incident, Thin Mints and a pack of Winstons?
The one they replaced it with when Woolworths refused to stock the album
because people were blowing their brains out all over the Pick 'n' Mix.
Welcome to the Glorious 10th. Thank you for playing along. I think you got almost all of them this month, although I'm sure you'll be surprised by some of the omissions.
Let's start with the ones that are in my record collection but didn't make the 10. The first person to name each of these gets a bonus point. Let's start with the one everyone thought would be there...
I need to bring back my old series The Top Ten Songs I Hated When I Was A Kid to properly discuss FGTH, although this wouldn't be the song I featured. I've had a curious relationship with this band, largely down to the fact that even as a teenager I felt I could see through the Paul Morley hype machine. I actually preferred Holly Johnson's solo work... though I did grow to give Frankie their due eventually. Not enough to squeeze them into this Top Ten though, sorry.
Steve can have 1 point for that though. And also for suggesting Welcome To The Terrordome... though I was always more of a Run DMC man than Public Enemy.
Lynchie (I'm sorry, Lynchie, I feel like I should be linking to you... is that possible?) gets a point for Manic Street Preachers - Welcome To The Dead Zone, which was a serious contender for a while. He also gets a point for another very close call, Alice Cooper - Welcome To My Nightmare. He doesn't get any points for Pink Floyd though. And neither does anyone else. However, he can have an extra point for saying that Bon Jovi - Welcome To Wherever You Are wouldn't be in my Top Ten. It is in my record collection though. (Which probably doesn't surprise any of you.) So is this, which nobody mentioned, but it's much better than Jon By-Jovi...
Oh, and before I go any further, I can honestly say that I had never heard Mr. Mister - Welcome To The Real World until you lot started banging on about it. And I don't want to ever hear it again, thanks.
Martin arrived then, desperate to reclaim his crown after last month's poor showing, swooping up bonus points for... Fleetwood Mac - Welcome to the room, Sara, The Kinks - Welcome To Sleazy Town, and Prince - Welcome 2 The Dawn. I know, I know, last month I said Prince was a shoe-in for the Top Ten, but I forgot this because of his annoying habit of using text speak in his songs. One extra bonus point to Martin for remembering it despite that.
And I'm going to stop Martin there, because I'm sure I had a rule somewhere about limiting your guesses to ten. Well, if I didn't, I do now. Some of Martin's "bubbling under" suggestions might have nabbed him points... one of them would have scored big if he'd chosen to take it off the boil and cook it properly. Oh, and I did promise him this: he loses a point for Oxide & Neutrino. I mean, really.
The Swede gets a point for Welcome To Feeling by Sam Beam & Jesca Hoop, another one from my infinite Wants List. And that's even shorter than the Dandy Warhols track above!
Martin can have a point for Tori Amos - Welcome To England, which isn't as annoying as I worried it might be. Although the video is pretty much Wicker Man meets The Omen.
Then Jez rolled up again with Summer Camp – Welcome to Condale, which I liked, and something from the Frank Sidebottom movie soundtrack which I couldn't find online, but as I never really saw the point of Frank Sidebottom, no points there.
Finally George crawled out of bed a few days after everyone else and with his usual style and aplomb went for the booby prize by suggesting Welcome To The Show by Barclay James Harvest. And because it really is as bad as George said, I'm going to give him 3 points for that.
Another pretty good Welcome To... album without a title track.
OK, enough of the runners up. Let's get to the big ten! What beat Frankie?
I figured Charity Chic might steal the points for this one since it was one of his famous bargain buys, and sure enough he not only guessed it, but also - incredibly - predicted its Number 9 placing. Which gets him 5 points!
An obvious inclusion, which I was sure Steve would get the points for... but didn't. Lynchie gets 2 for being first to suggest it. Jez, Martin & CC also get 1 for knowing it would be in my 10.
CC got a point for being the first to suggest Ballboy, although he went for the song Welcome To The New Year instead of this. It was down to George to steal the 2 point glory by remembering this lesser known track intead.
I would argue that Brandon Flowers now makes more interesting records as a solo artist than in his day job with The Killers. I don't know if Rigid Digit agrees with me, but he gets another 2 points for being the only one to mention this anyway.
What: no Son of Dork fans out there? Shame on you!
All of which brings us to The Top Five, and a pretty amazing Top Five it is, I'm sure you'll agree (though you may well disagree about the order).
Charity Chic gets 2 points here, though sadly his prediction of it being my #2 song fell a bit short. It could well have been: it is a classic.
In another world, Martin and Rigid Digit could wear a dress. They get a point for knowing it would be in my Top Ten, as does Alyson... though I suppose she already wears one.
Here's the one nobody got: and right now, a dozen Steely Dan fans are kicking themselves. I can understand why you missed it, but remember (brackets are allowed) the challenge was "to find ten songs with the words 'Welcome to...' in the title". I never said they had to be at the beginning.
Of course, this had to be in there. It could have even been #2, but when I listened to the runner-up contenders back-to-back, my actual #2 just edged it for me. Still an amazing song, whatever your thoughts on Axl Rose.
The Swede got this first - 2 points for that. Rigid Digit gets 1 too. Alyson misses out under the Martin Rule, because she made the mistake of saying it would be on my long list rather than in the Top Ten. Shame.
I was surprised how few of you suggested this. Either you all think my record collection largely stopped in the 20th Century, or yours does. This is probably Gerard Way's finest hour, a glorious slab of emo-pomp: Queen meets Radiohead meets David Lynch. And the video has everything a great pop song needs: comas, nurses, skeleton costumes, zombies, post apocaltyptic ruins, exploding televisions and overdone allegory. Eat that, Paul Morley!
Anyway, the only person I can legitimately award points to for this is Jez. Martin misses out for over-guessing and suggesting this would be "bubbling under". No way, this is boiling over!
1. Elvis Costello - Welcome to the
Working Week
Well, there could only be one winner, and if Elvis had a song on his first few albums that fit the bill, chances are it would be him. One minute 24 seconds of sheer audio bliss: now that's how to write a pop song!
Now that your picture's in the paper being rhythmically admired And you can have anyone that you have ever desired All you gotta tell me now is why, why, why, why?
Indeed. The Swede gets 2 default points for being the first to mention it, but everyone who thought it would / should be Number One gets 5 points. So that's 5 points for Charity Chic, Martin, C, Alyson and Brian. Rigid can have a point too, though he didn't number his predictions.
Points, then. And what do points make? Well, in this game they make points. (The usual apologies if I've added them up wrong.)
Steve - 2 points (play properly next time)
Lynchie, Jez & George - 5 points
Brian - 6 points
The Swede - 7 points
Alyson - 8 points
C & Rigid Digit - 9 points
Martin - 11 points
But this month's undisputed champion, with a peerless 15 points is...
Charity Chic.
Well done, Stevie.
Thank you all for playing. Next month's challenge will be along any second.
