I drink my coffee black, because that's how I prefer it. Despite my previously discussed aversion to cold milk, I can have milk in coffee... I just don't like it. Also, less calories, so it's win/win for me. I also don't have sugar, because... why would you?
The song at the top of this post, by Sinéad, was written by Sonny Burke and Paul Francis Webster back in the late 1940s. This is the original version...
...but it's also been recorded by all the usual suspects: Frank, Ella, Petula... Tricky.
Back when I drank tea, I used to take it black with no sugar as well. I couldn't find any songs about Black Tea, so here's some Pennyroyal Tea for you tea drinkers.
Give me a Leonard Cohen afterworld
So I can sigh eternally
I'm so tired I can't sleep
I'm a liar and a thief
Sit and drink Pennyroyal Tea
I'm anaemic royalty
(Be warned though, although Pennyroyal leaf extracts are relatively harmless, Pennyroyal Oil can cause syncope, seizures, coma, cardiopulmonary collapse, acute liver injury, renal insufficiency and multiorgan failure. You might be better sticking with a nice cup of coffee.)
The big question is... why did I call this post “Dead Pheasant”? Not because the pheasant had been eating from the Pennyroyal plant, I assure you.
No, this comes from an amusing story my mum told me at the weekend, about the time my dad hit a pheasant with his car on his way home from work. If you drive the country lanes round here, kamikaze pheasants are a constant risk. They really are the stupidest of birds, and appear to have a pathological desire to run out in front of oncoming traffic. Watch them run and you can also see how they’re clearly descended from dinosaurs. Although thankfully, they do less damage to your car than hitting a velociraptor.
Anyway, my dad hit the pheasant, and being a Yorkshire farmer, he brought it home for tea. Waste not, want not. “I lit some candles,” Mum told me, “and we had a nice romantic meal.”
Due to failing eyesight, my mum stopped driving more than twenty years ago. However, the stories about when she was a driver are the stuff of family legend.
And the time she almost drove me and my grandma (her mum) off a cliff. (They were arguing about which way to go. I was in the backseat, clinging on for deer life.)
Perhaps most famous of all is the time that she stalled in the middle of roadworks and the policeman who was directing traffic got down on his knees in front of her car and put his hands together in prayer, begging her to move.
We remember all these stories with good humour, even though our lives may have been at risk on one or more occasion... let's face it, none of us were wearing safety belts back then.
What it's easy to forget though, is how much mum (and dad) drove me around, wherever I wanted to go, when I was a kid. Music lessons, band practice, comic marts in Leeds... we were reminiscing about the latter recently, about the time my mate Liam (who was notoriously car-sick) came with us, and when Liam started looking a bit queasy, Mum just handed him a paper bag and said, "do it in there". Or the time she went to pay for parking and the ticket machine started spitting out money. She shared it out between the two of us and we bought a few extra comics that day.
Then, when I started working in radio, Mum would get up early on a Saturday morning to drive me to Bradford in time for the 9am show I worked on... at least until I'd passed my driving test, which wasn't until I was 18, so she must have done it every Saturday for at least two years. One Saturday, I had a piano exam at the same time. I'd told the presenter I was working with that I was going to be half an hour late, but he'd forgotten, and in the pre-mobile phone era, there was no way of reminding him. Driving in, listening to the radio, we kept hearing him saying, "Where's Rol this morning? I've got nobody to answer my phones." Mum remembered that when she finally dropped me off and I sprinted into the studio, the first link she heard on her way home was, "Oh look, Rol's arrived... still wearing his pyjamas."
These days, when I spent many of my weeknights and weekends ferrying Sam to a variety of sporting activities and pre-teen social engagements, I like to remind myself that I'm paying it forwards. Thanks, Mum.
There's an obvious song to close today, but one that was over-played to the point that most people are sick to the back teeth of it. Never fear - Aimee Mann to the rescue!
Once again, the finger pointed firmly in the direction of our brains, and I immediately figured our old friend the amygdala might be responsible. However, it turns out there’s another suspect in the frame: the hypothalamus!
The hypothalamus is a tiny little blob of gunk deep within our brain which takes charge of our heart rate, body temperature, hunger, and the sleep-wake cycle. It does a bunch of other jobs too, notably mucking about with our social behaviour – including sex-drive and aggression. How does it do this? By releasing hormones! And which hormone is responsible for our obsession with what other people think of us? Dopamine.
Last week, we closed with a quote about “externalising our self-worth”: in other words, seeing ourselves as others see us. Take Tiberius – when someone smiles at him, even a stranger, he feels a little better about his day. If a colleague or peer compliments him on his work or tells him he’s doing a good job, it makes him happy. And if someone reads his blog or leaves a nice comment… well, it’s cartwheels time! Because every time one of those things happens, the hypothalamus in Tiberius’s brain releases dopamine… the “feel good hormone”… the “happy hormone”… the “pleasure hormone”. You’ll find many similar sobriquets applied to dopamine online. Because dopamine is also the hormone that’s released when we eat, have sex, and take drugs… anything that feels good. (Even if it's bad for us.)
Anything that gives you pleasure will trigger the release of dopamine. This can range from a fun activity you enjoy, like dancing or cooking, to sex, shopping, and even certain drugs. Dopamine activates the reward pathway in the brain, leading you to desire these activities more. For this reason, dopamine can play a role in addiction.
For example… if being smiled at by a stranger gives Tiberius a mini dopamine hit, why doesn’t he go out of his way to be nicer to strangers? Or... does he pick and choose which strangers he would rather be nice to, because, frankly, their smiles are worth more to him? Other factors outweigh the dopamine hit in certain circumstances. A smile from a little old lady in the supermarket who’s asked Tiberius to reach for a tin on the top shelf… that’s worth it. But he’s still not going to wave at that Audi driver and let him pull out, even if the Audi driver might smile back… is that because Tiberius believes the Audi driver won’t smile back, or does he get more of a dopamine hit by denying the Audi driver, by causing him a little inconvenience? There are, I presume, certain circumstances where being mean will grant you more of a hit than being nice? It all depends on who you’re interacting with in any particular moment.
Speaking for myself, rather than Tiberius, I can report a recent incident when I was on the motorway, driving at the speed limit in the fast lane, with an Audi driver behind me, far too close, desperate to get past. When it was eventually safe to pull back into the middle lane, I did so. My hands remained at ten to two on the steering wheel, but I carefully extended the middle finger of my right hand as the Audi accelerated past. Up ahead now, the Audi swerved erratically as he opened his own car window and raised his own hand / fist / finger up into the air in a furious gesture of aggression. And then he was gone. But the fact that he’d clearly noticed my subtle bird flipping, and that it had aggravated him so very much... this gave me a much greater dopamine rush than any stranger’s smile could have done. Call me petty, but I was buzzing on that for the rest of the day.
The world needs people like you and me Who've been knocked around by fate 'Cause when people see us They don't wanna be us And that makes them feel great
Going back to Tiberius, I’m sure that positive feedback from his colleagues – and the feel good hormones released as a result – encourage him to keep trying his best in the workplace. It’s interesting to note that some scientists believe a shortage of dopamine might be responsible for all manner of medical and psychological complaints, from autism to Parkinson’s, but that you can boost your dopamine by eating more protein (because that’s what it’s made from, apparently). Another reason to keep chomping brazil nuts… if I needed one. Better yet, Healthline tells us...
Listening to music can be a fun way to stimulate dopamine release in your brain.
Next week, we’ll talk about one of the biggest dopamine boosters on the planet – and, as a result, one of the most addictive drugs you will ever come across. Worse still, it’s perfectly legal and children are becoming exposed to it at an increasingly younger age these days… with all kinds of horrific consequences.
I’m talking about social media.
Oh, the horror.
If you could see the you that I see
When I see you
You would see things differently
I assure you
I wish I could hire Henry Rollins as my motivational coach.
Today's edition of Namesakes coincides with my 52nd birthday. I now have as many years as a pack has cards and a year has weeks. I'm celebrating by listening to a selection of songs by the B52s and Billy Joel's sixth album, 52nd Street.
I'd hoped there might be more than one band called The Birthday Party... but it didn't appear there was. Nobody messes with Nick Cave. I did find a few bands called simply Birthday... but none of them were worthy of note. I know, I thought... as it's my birthday, I should really try to Smile. And so I began to look for bands called Smile...
It was scary how many Smiles there were.
Also, this edition of Namesakes is the first one in which I've had to call in outside help... the big guns... namely JC, The Vinyl Villain, and his army of devoted readers... to help me track down one of the bands. I'll explain why when I get to Number 14.
DISCLAIMER #1: Due to the large number of bands on show today, I'm not posting videos. 30+ videos in one post would surely break this blog... if not the whole internet. Hyperlinks are on offer instead - just click the link to sample / enjoy / hate on each band as you go. Or choose the links you think may be of interest to you. Because...
DISCLAIMER #2: Unless you're George, I don't expect you to wade through 30+ different bands called Smile just because I felt the need to. Some people actually go out, have a party or see friends on their birthday. This is how I chose to spend the day... still, remember what Charlie Chaplin said...
Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through for you
SMILE #1
Let's start in 1968 with a band whose lead singer gets top billing, though that's not enough to disqualify them, particularly when you consider all the other reasons to give them a listen:
1. They were from Leeds.
2. Denis Couldry was also a member of Felius Andromeda, aka The Unidentified Flower Objects (who released a single called Flower Power Fred with Harry H. Corbett on lead vocals!)
3. Motorbikin' Chris Spedding was also in the band.
Brian May... Roger Taylor... Tim Staffell. It feels like there's an important member missing from the band that would become Queen... and I don't mean John Deacon.
May and Staffell originally met at private school and formed a band called 1984, way back in 1965. When they headed off to college a couple of years later, they recruited Taylor and the rest was a prelude to history. Staffell left in 1970 to join folk-rockers Humpy Bong, while May and Taylor eventually met a young lad called Farrokh Bulsara. And then the rest is history.
Do your worst, Queen-haters... I won't mind. They were nothing without Freddie... although May's skill with a guitar is clearly evident on the track below...
Also from 1969, this lot were Canadian and originally known as The Smile, then they became just Smyle. As always, I picked the song title that most appealed to me...
Californian band from the early 70s with Chris Rae on guitar. Rae, not Rea. They appear to have released a few singles, but this b-side was the only thing on the tube of you...
Holland, 1972, and another Smyle with a Y. For further information: "Band uit Voorburg en Den Haag met O.A. Zanger Bas Muys en gitarist Mark Boon." Isn't Dutch a wonderful language?
And now we reach 1974, and a song written by Roger Greenaway, one of the men behind I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing (In Perfect Harmony). Quite pleased to find this on "Non Hit Radio" - where "Every Song Is A Non Hit". My former radio bosses would have a heart attack at the very thought.
Next, a Danish rock band from the mid-70s who mixed covers with their own compositions. This is one of the latter, the b-side to their version of House of the Rising Sun. Previously known as The Sharons. Which is a far better name if you ask me.
Those with no appreciation of the genre used to say that AOR stood for Any Old Rubbish. Being that I have quite a bit of Adult Oriented Rock in my record collection, I am unable to agree with that assessment. This lot though, from 1985... well... at least they're good at jumping.
I couldn't find any audio for this 1989 German smile... but I thought I'd share their record sleeve, because a picture is surely worth a thousand musical notes... I'm pretty sure Timmy Mallet is in there somewhere.
SMILE #13
Heavy Smile from the US who changed their name to Monsterland in 1990...
Scottish band Smile released one single in 1992, before going their own way. Iffypedia tells me the song "reached no. 20 in the Scottish charts", although the doyen of the Scottish music scene, JC, told me he'd never heard of a "Scottish chart". Likely it was put together by one of the local radio stations at the time. When I started out in radio, in the late 80s, we did a similar thing... although it usually involving ringing about three record shops in the area (one in Bradford, one in Halifax and one in Huddersfield) and then cobbling something together from their weekly sales. Not particularly scientific.
Anyway, there was no audio evidence of this band to be found anywhere online, and I'd almost consigned them to the reject pile when I noticed that the band's lead singer was one Dean Owens, respected star of the Scottish Americana scene, and someone who's featured here before. That made me more keen to do a little extra work - so I reached out to JC, who himself drew a blank, but was kind enough to put out an appeal on The Vinyl Villain. Within a day, I'd had two separate responses offering to supply me with the audio I needed - one from our old friend Jim in Dubai, and one from another member of the Vinyl Villain Collective who prefers to remain anonymous.
You might wonder if it was worth all that extra effort... but for me, it definitely was. Obvious is a great little pop song and it doesn't deserve to be completely erased from history. Big thanks to everyone who helped me hear it....
And now for one that probably wasn't worth the effort...
You know how discogs lists bands with the same name by putting a number after each one? Well, these guys are listed as just Smile, presumably meaning they were the fast act to register themselves when discogs opened (or some rabid fan did the job for them).
Also known as Braindead, Gabberhead, Happyheadz, Infernus, Ravers Religion Hardcore Force, Terrorizers, their music is described as "Dutch gabber / happy hardcore".
I managed less than 30 seconds. Because it's my birthday, I thought about requesting that George listens all the way to the end. But I'm not that mean.
I actually quite like this one. It's from 1995, and if I'd heard it back then, I would have probably bought it. Or at least scrabbled around in the Chuck Out box to see if I could find it there with all the other Non-Hits.
From 2003, featuring Mr. Ron Vail, who appears to have played with Peter Noone and Herman's Hermits at some point in his career. This is another one that actually made me Smile... if only for a second or two.
Also known as Smile.dk, which suggests they're from Denmark, although they're actually from Sweden. Anyway, this is the worst kind of squeaky Euro-pop and it hurt my ears almost as much as the Gabberheads did. Still, you might like it...
IF YOU'RE INSANE.
(Only joking, insane people. You listen to whatever you like. Just keep it away from me.)
The Spanish Smile, from the last decade or so. Not the worst thing you'll hear today, but that's very faint praise... you'd have to go a long way to beat the Gabberheadz.
Italian Indie Smile who changed their name to The Wends in 2022. Presumably they also had to change the name of their website, thenameofthisbandissmile.com.
And an Austrian Smile, from just last year. By this stage in the game, I've listened to so many different Smiles, I've lost the ability to differentiate between them. The video's a bit odd though.
You may have been expecting this one, as they've been making quite a noise for themselves over the past few weeks. Let's all salute the supreme irony of Thom Yorke using the word Smile, especially in a band name!
This latest Radiohead spin-off band features Thom and Johnny and new drummer Tom Skinner. Iffypedia says critics describe them as like Radiohead, but "with more jazz, krautrock and progressive rock influences and a looser, wilder sound." You should try throwing a bit of Banarama in there, Thom.
To help differentiate themselves from the dozens of other bands called Smile, Thom and co. added the definite article. (Perhaps because it's the only Smile Thom has ever had?) As Eminem put it, "All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating".
There were dozens of bands called Smile listed on discogs, but I couldn't find any more music... and believe me, I did look! Most upset that I couldn't find the Swiss Smile from the 1970s with their misspelled hit, Leader Of Loosers, which sounds right up my streeet. (I doubted very much that JC, or any of his readers, would have been able to help me locate that one.)
I know most of you stopped reading this about 29 videos ago, but I'll ask the question anyway... did any of the above Smiles make you smile? Or will you be frowning for the rest of the week?
Hopefully I'll pick a band name with a more manageable number of contenders next week...
(Don't even start me on the unforgivable "Your" / "You're" confusion.)
Can a bawdy joke spoil a great song?
This is the question I ask myself whenever I hear Dr. Hook's biggest hit. Because it's a great song - if you like that sort of thing, obviously, and growing up with Radio 2, I grew to love it - but the hokey pun innuendo soon outlived its welcome.
I was pretty certain I knew who wrote this song - but it turns out I was wrong. I was sure it must be another Shel Silverstein composition, given Shel wrote a number of Hook's hits, including their very best song...
Now that's a classic. Even if you don't care for Dr. Hook's particular brand of laid-back country pop, you have to at least appreciate the way Silverstein's desperate lyric is perfectly matched to Dennis Locorriere's plaintive vocals. I swear when he sings, "Please, Mrs. Avery," I feel his yearning right down to the tips of my toes. What a performance.
And it turns out Sylvia's Mother is a true story too - Shel was in love with a woman called Sylvia Pandolfi, but she ran off with another man and ended up as a curator at the Museo de Arte Carrillo Gil in Mexico City. Shel tried desperately to rekindle that romance, but the only contact he had for Sylvia was her mum, and she wasn't having any of it. Nowadays, she'd probably report him as a stalker. I guess "Please, Mrs. Pandolfi" didn't quite scan, so Avery it was. And Mrs. Avery became such a famous figure, she even inspired a sequel song from The Men They Couldn't Hang...
But I'm not here to write about Sylvia's Mother, am I? Let's get back to the song in question. The reason I figured When You're In Love With A Beautiful Woman was a Shel Silverstein composition is that Shel was known for being a funny guy. As well as being able to break our hearts with songs like Sylvia's Mother and The Ballad Of Lucy Jordan, Shel wasn't afraid to write a song with a sense of humour. Like these...
You've got to admire the nerve of a man who can rhyme Loretta with Irish Setter, and then get Loretta Lynn to sing it. Silverstein was also responsible for another witty Dr. Hook hit, although it's one I have mixed feelings about...
Now the problem with this tune is the way the Hooksters laugh at their own jokes (or at Silverstein's jokes, anyway) as they sing them. Ironically, ...Rolling Stone is one of their only songs to feature Dr. Hook himself, Ray Sawyer, on lead vocals. Maybe that's part of the problem. Much as I wish to argue in favour of humour in pop songs, I have a problem with people who laugh at their own jokes. Now I've no problem with people laughing in songs, otherwise I wouldn't love this...
You hear Whitney giggling away (around 3'57" if you're in a rush) and you can tell she's genuinely having a good time. She's enjoying herself and having fun. The laughter is natural. Similarly, one of my favourite tracks by this up and coming pop hopeful...
Hey Stephen is a great "why are you wasting your time with those vain cheerleaders when I'm right here?" song, made even better by the line...
All those other girls, well, they're beautiful
But would they write a song for you?
The little chuckle Taylor gives after delivering those lines (approx. 2'50", busy folk) is priceless. And again, it feels genuine. Not so the self-congratulatory laughter in The Cover Of The Rolling Stone. I wish they'd played that song a little straighter. Or got Locorriere to sing it.
All of which brings us back to When You're In Love With A Beautiful Woman (It's Hard), which I'm still surprised to learn wasn't written by Shel... except, maybe not so surprised the more I think of it, because Shel was classier than that. Further warning bells sound when you discover the song was actually written by Even Stevens. No, no Evan. Even.
Stevens - real first names Bruce Noel - is a man who appears to love a good pun. He's clearly got a sense of humour, as demonstrated below...
...although, hang on, they were both written by Shel Silverstein too. Clearly Even Stevens' own songwriting was influenced by Shel... but I can't help but think Shel would have stopped short of the innuendo that upends When You're In Love With A Beautiful Woman, a sleazy 70s sexual allusion that's only "bettered" by this...
That one was written by David Bellamy himself. Well, gwapple me gwapenuts!
Not that David Bellamy, obviously. I might look more kindly on it if it was. To be fair, at least innuendo is the whole point of If I Said You Had A Beautiful Body... there's not a better song trapped underneath, begging for your respect. It is what is is and seems quite happy that way.
My contention then is that When You're In Love With A Beautiful Woman is a great song - especially the bridge, which is as heartfelt as anything Dennis Locorriere ever sang...
Maybe it's just an ego problem, problem is I've been fooled before
By fair-weathered friends and faint-hearted lovers
And every time it happens it just convinces me more
That's the bit I love. The bit that keeps me coming back to listen to this track again and again, the bit that gets me past the embarrassment of the smutty innuendo. (I particularly struggle with the "You know it's hard, you know it gets so hard" call-back - yeah, we get it, Even. No need to belt us over the head with it!)
Legend has it that Even Stevens followed Dr. Hook's manager into the studio bathroom to pitch this song. That says it all, really. If only he'd showed a little restraint... When You're In Love With A Beautiful Woman, It's Tough would have been much better, in my opinion. Or did this song only get to the top of the charts in the UK because of the lowest common denominator sales? If so, I hope Even Stevens sleeps soundly on his mattress stuffed with money, safe in the knowledge that he was one word away from writing a classic...
