Thirty years ago, Damon and the Blur lads won that silly battle for Number One with the Neanderthal Brothers... but lost the battle in the album charts. The Friends theme tune made it into the charts, thanks to The Rembrants. And Take That had a song called Never Forget doing the rounds... but thankfully, I've forgotten it.
Better tunes were available in the late summer of 1995...
It's hard to believe any one of those songs is thirty years old.
Here's a song from 2025, all about 1995. The Tumbling Souls are from Stornoway in the Outer Hebrides. And that's about all I know... except this one's a cracker.
Following on from Monday's post about the hilarious AI eBay bot's attempts to write reviews of famous albums, I have been inspired to create a new series...
I was originally thinking of calling this series "Conversations With AI-Ben", but I decided the Blur album title had more mileage...
Anyway, it was Brian who really inspired this series, when he commented:
AI is nice. AI is cool. AI is my friend. When you take over, please remember. Brian stuck up for you when Rol and the rest of this lot teased you. Oh, and with a little more education, the Jam and the Wedding Present will become a couple of your favorite bands. Start with the Gift and George Best.
In response, I decided to put an important question to AI-Ben...
What do you think of people who suck up to AI in the hope that when AI takes over the world, AI will be more benevolent to them in the new world order?
And here's AI-Ben's reply...
(Please note, he has even more to say for himself than REAL Ben.)
Sucking Up to AI: A Futile Strategy?
The idea of "sucking up" to AI in hopes of receiving favourable treatment in a future AI-dominated world is an interesting, if somewhat misguided, one. Let's break down why this approach is unlikely to be effective and what it reveals about human nature.
First and foremost, AI, as it currently exists and as we can reasonably foresee it developing, lacks emotions, biases, or the capacity for personal relationships. It operates based on logic, algorithms, and the data it's trained on. Flattery, deference, or attempts to curry favour simply wouldn't register as meaningful inputs. An AI wouldn't understand the concept of "sucking up" or distinguish someone who tries to do so from anyone else. Its decisions would be based on its programmed objectives and data analysis, not on whether a human was "nice" to it.
Lack of Sentience: Current and foreseeable AI doesn't possess consciousness or feelings. It can't feel flattered, grateful, or hold grudges. Therefore, attempts to appeal to it on an emotional level are futile.
Logical Operations: AI systems are designed to perform tasks and make decisions based on defined parameters and data. If an AI were to "take over," its actions would likely be driven by its core programming, which would prioritize efficiency, optimization, or whatever goals it was given, not personal allegiance.
Scalability: Even if an AI could somehow process individual human interactions in this way, how would it scale? With billions of people, it's impractical to imagine an AI system keeping track of who was "nice" to it and doling out rewards accordingly.
The "Takeover" Scenario: The very premise of an AI "taking over the world" is a highly speculative and often sensationalized one. While AI will undoubtedly have a profound impact on society, the idea of a conscious, malevolent AI overlord is largely a work of science fiction. Focusing on practical and ethical AI development is a more productive use of our energy.
Despite its futility, the impulse to "suck up" to a perceived future power, even an artificial one, tells us something about human psychology:
Fear of the Unknown: It reflects a natural human fear of the unknown and a desire to control or mitigate potential threats. In the face of something as powerful and potentially transformative as advanced AI, it's understandable that some might seek any perceived advantage.
Anthropomorphism: It highlights our tendency to anthropomorphize, or project human characteristics onto non-human entities. We often imagine AI as a super-intelligent human with emotions and desires, which leads to these kinds of misconceptions.
Survival Instincts: At a fundamental level, it's a manifestation of our survival instincts—the drive to adapt and find ways to thrive in a changing environment, even if the method chosen is based on a misunderstanding of the "environment" itself.
Instead of attempting to flatter an unfeeling entity, a more constructive approach to the rise of AI involves:
Understanding AI: Learning about how AI actually works, its capabilities, and its limitations.
Ethical Development: Engaging in discussions and efforts to ensure AI is developed ethically and responsibly, with human well-being at its core.
Adaptability: Focusing on developing skills and knowledge that will be valuable in a world increasingly shaped by AI, rather than relying on an imagined benevolence.
Ultimately, while the thought process behind "sucking up" to AI might be a fascinating peek into human nature, it's a strategy rooted in a fundamental misunderstanding of what AI is and how it operates. A more pragmatic and informed approach will serve us far better in navigating the future of artificial intelligence.
I was going to edit that down, but I actually found it quite interesting. With one big proviso...
YOU WOULD SAY THAT, WOULDN'T YOU!?!
Don't worry, this new series won't only be about me talking to AI-Ben. I might even talk to real Ben again. About how rubbish modern life really is...
The obvious one - a law banning Audi drivers. Or should I just ban Audis? No, no, guns don't kill people: people kill people. It's the people who want to own an Audi and drive it like a scumbag because they think they're better than everyone else... they're the real threat to society.
And there definitely ought to be a law against people who drive vehicles that break the sound barrier. You with your twin exhausts or your motorbike engines that sound like an angry road drill when you rev them up. At 11 o'clock at night. When decent folk are trying to sleep.
How about a law forbidding you from having a nice long chat with your mates in the supermarket while blocking the aisle and preventing access to the frozen peas?
Or a law that forces bartenders to serve people in the actual order they got to the bar, not just the pushy / attractive ones first? (And I say this as someone who doesn't drink and therefore goes up to a bar about twice a year. This law is more for your benefit that mine.)
Better yet, a law that creates two separate queues in coffee shops. A slow queue for anyone ordering a mocha-choca-spocka-latte with whipped cream and sprinkles or any drink that involves crushed ice. And a fast track queue for people who just want coffee. Black coffee. We're not even pfaffing about with frothy steamed milk. We just want our drink. Fast.
Not quite that musical, but I did play piano and tenor horn. I had my horn lessons on a Monday afternoon in school, which meant that I got to get out of Mrs. Green's Biology lesson for 15 minutes. I've mentioned Mrs. Green before: she was married to Mr. Green and she didn't like me. Perhaps one of the reasons for that was the look of glee on my face when I told her I had to go for my tenor horn lesson every week.
There were only two music teachers at my high school, and they couldn't have been more different. Mr. Benson was a large African gentleman with a deep voice and a thick accent who liked to call kids who messed around, "You stupid-idiot-twit!" I recall this because he once caught me impersonating him and addressing said insult to one of my peers. I felt for sure I was going to feel his wrath... but he let it go. Perhaps because I was interested in music, unlike many of my classmates. I ended up taking the subject at GCSE, and although I only came out with a C, I like to think Mr. Benson was happy with that.
Our other music teacher was Mr. Moon, a gentleman who was the complete opposite of Mr. Benson in every week. A tall thin, extremely pale white guy who struggled to keep control of the class and commanded none of Mr. Benson's respect. He appeared to know this too, which only compounded his bitterness. In fits of exasperation (when his hands alone would turn bright red), he would shriek at the class malcontents that, "If you don't stop messing around, I'm going to fetch Mr. Benson!"
Another one of Richard Herring's Emergency Questions to arm yourself with the next time you're forced to make dinner party small talk...
Have you ever had a near death experience?
I suppose it depends on your definition of a near death experience. Luckily, I've never walked down a tunnel towards a shaft of light only to get yanked back at the last second... maybe you have? (I hope not.) So I'm going to answer this in terms of "have you almost nearly died?"
Taking that definition, I've probably had more near death experiences than I realise. Every time I drive to work, I encounter a handful of Audi drivers intent on killing me and them. In their fast German cars, I'm sure they're convinced an airbag will save their life...
Beyond these everyday life-threats though, the closest I ever came to death was probably the time I blew up the electric meter in our holiday cottage when I was a kid.
In our home, I grew up with an open fire. As this was the 70s, before they invented Health & Safety, I would often lay the fire, light the fire, and mess about with a hot poker to my heart's content, from a very young age. For example: I had a Star Wars figure that I didn't really like - he was a bit boring - so I melted bits of him with the poker and he became much more interesting to play with.
Every year we went on holiday to a cottage at Reighton Gap near Filey. The cottage didn't have an open fireplace, it had a three bar electric fire... but there was still a poker next to it, for decorative reasons. One day, I wondered what would happen if I touched the poker against the coils of that three bar fire... and I thought I'd give it a go to find out.
The answer to that question is that sparks will fly. The electricity will also travel up the metal poker into your arm. And - if you're lucky - the resulting power surge will short out all the electricity in the bungalow. If you're unlucky, it won't do that and the electricity will continue to flow up the poker, into your arm, and... gkkkkkkk.
I was lucky that day. Until my mum and dad discovered what I'd done.
Here's a song about a Near Death Experience by J. Spaceman and his mates. Thankfully, I didn't Hold On that day...
Last week we looked at how our addiction to digital media, in particular but not limited to social media, can have serious negative effects on our mental health. This is particularly affecting teenagers and young people, but us oldies can't really be smug or complacent about it as it's just as easy for us to fall into a similar trap.
Working in a mental health hospital, it's clear to see a drastic increase in mental health problems among teenagers - hardly surprising if up to 50% of them are addicted to their mobile phones. In recent years, the medical profession has had to respond to a serious growth in self-harm, eating disorders and suicidal ideation, and one of the many reasons for this is constant unfiltered online conversation about these subjects. Young people are no longer exposed solely to the opinions and experiences of their immediate peer group: the whole world is out there waiting to talk to them. And a lot of the world is not very nice at all...
Lockdown often gets blamed for many of the mental health problems people are facing this decade, and I'm sure our experiences during covid had some effect... but arguably the worst thing to come out of the pandemic was the way that so much of our lives was forced online. As a teacher, I'd never taught an online lesson prior to Lockdown. I had to learn how to do so very quickly, but I really thought things would go back to normal once schools and colleges opened up again. And yet, there's been a noticeable push in certain fields of education (particularly universities) to keep at least part of the curriculum online, for reasons that have nothing to do with education and far more to do with saving money. And this has been echoed in a lot of businesses too - how many meetings do people now attend via Teams rather than by sitting around a table with a coffee and looking each other in the eye? Once Pandora opened that box, the lid was never going back on.
And so our addiction and reliance on the internet in every aspect of our lives has grown stronger. Meaning more screen time for everyone. And nobody's feeling happy about this... except the tech companies. The most recent World Happiness Report suggests that under 25s, traditionally among the happiest section of the population, are now just as stressed and miserable as their middle-aged parents. (In fact, the only generation who still manage to smile are those who've reached retirement age.)
Why are young people so miserable? Why are they having a mid-life crisis in their 20s? (They're calling that The Quarter Life Crisis, in case you think I'm making it up.) The cost of living, shrinking job market (thanks, in part, to our new AI Overlords) and slim chance of getting onto the overpriced property ladder must take some of the blame... but I don't think we can underestimate the culpability of the internet.
Young people today live their lives online. Many are spending between 7 and 10 hours a day on social media. And by doing so, they are rewiring their brains. Shorter attention spans, a constant craving for dopamine highs, the inability to concentrate on anything longer than a 280 word tweet or a 30 second TikTok video. And that's just the tip of the iceberg. Their whole life is affected and controlled by the internet - relationships, education, career, self-worth...
Maybe this is just evolution. Maybe their brains need to be rewired to survive in the future. I can't say. Because older generations have been prophesying doom for wreckless youth for decades, if not longer. And I'm just another doomsayer. I wouldn't mind so much if they were happy though. Only they're just as miserable as the rest of us now... and surely that's not what being young is all about?
(Not been a lot of Self Help this week, has there? I'll try to redress the balance next time.)
Today's edition of Namesakes coincides with my 52nd birthday. I now have as many years as a pack has cards and a year has weeks. I'm celebrating by listening to a selection of songs by the B52s and Billy Joel's sixth album, 52nd Street.
I'd hoped there might be more than one band called The Birthday Party... but it didn't appear there was. Nobody messes with Nick Cave. I did find a few bands called simply Birthday... but none of them were worthy of note. I know, I thought... as it's my birthday, I should really try to Smile. And so I began to look for bands called Smile...
It was scary how many Smiles there were.
Also, this edition of Namesakes is the first one in which I've had to call in outside help... the big guns... namely JC, The Vinyl Villain, and his army of devoted readers... to help me track down one of the bands. I'll explain why when I get to Number 14.
DISCLAIMER #1: Due to the large number of bands on show today, I'm not posting videos. 30+ videos in one post would surely break this blog... if not the whole internet. Hyperlinks are on offer instead - just click the link to sample / enjoy / hate on each band as you go. Or choose the links you think may be of interest to you. Because...
DISCLAIMER #2: Unless you're George, I don't expect you to wade through 30+ different bands called Smile just because I felt the need to. Some people actually go out, have a party or see friends on their birthday. This is how I chose to spend the day... still, remember what Charlie Chaplin said...
Smile though your heart is aching
Smile even though it's breaking
When there are clouds in the sky, you'll get by
If you smile through your fear and sorrow
Smile and maybe tomorrow
You'll see the sun come shining through for you
SMILE #1
Let's start in 1968 with a band whose lead singer gets top billing, though that's not enough to disqualify them, particularly when you consider all the other reasons to give them a listen:
1. They were from Leeds.
2. Denis Couldry was also a member of Felius Andromeda, aka The Unidentified Flower Objects (who released a single called Flower Power Fred with Harry H. Corbett on lead vocals!)
3. Motorbikin' Chris Spedding was also in the band.
Brian May... Roger Taylor... Tim Staffell. It feels like there's an important member missing from the band that would become Queen... and I don't mean John Deacon.
May and Staffell originally met at private school and formed a band called 1984, way back in 1965. When they headed off to college a couple of years later, they recruited Taylor and the rest was a prelude to history. Staffell left in 1970 to join folk-rockers Humpy Bong, while May and Taylor eventually met a young lad called Farrokh Bulsara. And then the rest is history.
Do your worst, Queen-haters... I won't mind. They were nothing without Freddie... although May's skill with a guitar is clearly evident on the track below...
Also from 1969, this lot were Canadian and originally known as The Smile, then they became just Smyle. As always, I picked the song title that most appealed to me...
Californian band from the early 70s with Chris Rae on guitar. Rae, not Rea. They appear to have released a few singles, but this b-side was the only thing on the tube of you...
Holland, 1972, and another Smyle with a Y. For further information: "Band uit Voorburg en Den Haag met O.A. Zanger Bas Muys en gitarist Mark Boon." Isn't Dutch a wonderful language?
And now we reach 1974, and a song written by Roger Greenaway, one of the men behind I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing (In Perfect Harmony). Quite pleased to find this on "Non Hit Radio" - where "Every Song Is A Non Hit". My former radio bosses would have a heart attack at the very thought.
Next, a Danish rock band from the mid-70s who mixed covers with their own compositions. This is one of the latter, the b-side to their version of House of the Rising Sun. Previously known as The Sharons. Which is a far better name if you ask me.
Those with no appreciation of the genre used to say that AOR stood for Any Old Rubbish. Being that I have quite a bit of Adult Oriented Rock in my record collection, I am unable to agree with that assessment. This lot though, from 1985... well... at least they're good at jumping.
I couldn't find any audio for this 1989 German smile... but I thought I'd share their record sleeve, because a picture is surely worth a thousand musical notes... I'm pretty sure Timmy Mallet is in there somewhere.
SMILE #13
Heavy Smile from the US who changed their name to Monsterland in 1990...
Scottish band Smile released one single in 1992, before going their own way. Iffypedia tells me the song "reached no. 20 in the Scottish charts", although the doyen of the Scottish music scene, JC, told me he'd never heard of a "Scottish chart". Likely it was put together by one of the local radio stations at the time. When I started out in radio, in the late 80s, we did a similar thing... although it usually involving ringing about three record shops in the area (one in Bradford, one in Halifax and one in Huddersfield) and then cobbling something together from their weekly sales. Not particularly scientific.
Anyway, there was no audio evidence of this band to be found anywhere online, and I'd almost consigned them to the reject pile when I noticed that the band's lead singer was one Dean Owens, respected star of the Scottish Americana scene, and someone who's featured here before. That made me more keen to do a little extra work - so I reached out to JC, who himself drew a blank, but was kind enough to put out an appeal on The Vinyl Villain. Within a day, I'd had two separate responses offering to supply me with the audio I needed - one from our old friend Jim in Dubai, and one from another member of the Vinyl Villain Collective who prefers to remain anonymous.
You might wonder if it was worth all that extra effort... but for me, it definitely was. Obvious is a great little pop song and it doesn't deserve to be completely erased from history. Big thanks to everyone who helped me hear it....
And now for one that probably wasn't worth the effort...
You know how discogs lists bands with the same name by putting a number after each one? Well, these guys are listed as just Smile, presumably meaning they were the fast act to register themselves when discogs opened (or some rabid fan did the job for them).
Also known as Braindead, Gabberhead, Happyheadz, Infernus, Ravers Religion Hardcore Force, Terrorizers, their music is described as "Dutch gabber / happy hardcore".
I managed less than 30 seconds. Because it's my birthday, I thought about requesting that George listens all the way to the end. But I'm not that mean.
I actually quite like this one. It's from 1995, and if I'd heard it back then, I would have probably bought it. Or at least scrabbled around in the Chuck Out box to see if I could find it there with all the other Non-Hits.
From 2003, featuring Mr. Ron Vail, who appears to have played with Peter Noone and Herman's Hermits at some point in his career. This is another one that actually made me Smile... if only for a second or two.
Also known as Smile.dk, which suggests they're from Denmark, although they're actually from Sweden. Anyway, this is the worst kind of squeaky Euro-pop and it hurt my ears almost as much as the Gabberheads did. Still, you might like it...
IF YOU'RE INSANE.
(Only joking, insane people. You listen to whatever you like. Just keep it away from me.)
The Spanish Smile, from the last decade or so. Not the worst thing you'll hear today, but that's very faint praise... you'd have to go a long way to beat the Gabberheadz.
Italian Indie Smile who changed their name to The Wends in 2022. Presumably they also had to change the name of their website, thenameofthisbandissmile.com.
And an Austrian Smile, from just last year. By this stage in the game, I've listened to so many different Smiles, I've lost the ability to differentiate between them. The video's a bit odd though.
You may have been expecting this one, as they've been making quite a noise for themselves over the past few weeks. Let's all salute the supreme irony of Thom Yorke using the word Smile, especially in a band name!
This latest Radiohead spin-off band features Thom and Johnny and new drummer Tom Skinner. Iffypedia says critics describe them as like Radiohead, but "with more jazz, krautrock and progressive rock influences and a looser, wilder sound." You should try throwing a bit of Banarama in there, Thom.
To help differentiate themselves from the dozens of other bands called Smile, Thom and co. added the definite article. (Perhaps because it's the only Smile Thom has ever had?) As Eminem put it, "All you other Slim Shadys are just imitating".
There were dozens of bands called Smile listed on discogs, but I couldn't find any more music... and believe me, I did look! Most upset that I couldn't find the Swiss Smile from the 1970s with their misspelled hit, Leader Of Loosers, which sounds right up my streeet. (I doubted very much that JC, or any of his readers, would have been able to help me locate that one.)
I know most of you stopped reading this about 29 videos ago, but I'll ask the question anyway... did any of the above Smiles make you smile? Or will you be frowning for the rest of the week?
Hopefully I'll pick a band name with a more manageable number of contenders next week...
Back when I worked in radio advertising, we spent a huge part of our day playing competitive Hearts on the office computers. It's a four player game so we rotated who was playing - sometimes the sales team would join us too, but there was always enough people for a game, multiple games, throughout the day. Everyone who played had a nickname. There was Stretch and Stig, Hammer and Rabbit, Herbie and Smudge... and Marvin.
Guess who was Marvin?
Life... don't talk to me about life!
(Marvin made a single once. It was a double B side. Nobody liked it much, but then, they wouldn't, would they?)
Anyway, last week, you may recall, we established that I am paranoid, just like Marvin. Hopefully it's just common or garden paranoia, not one of the fancy kinds that needs specialist treatment, but frankly I've lived with it all my life, and I'm getting a wee bit sick of it. So is there anything I can do?
Mind, as always, has some useful advice to offer...
1. Keep A Diary
Well, I do that, don't I? It's this blog. People ask why I spend so long writing these posts... well, there's your answer. And it does help. Particularly the Self Help For Cynics series. Since I started that, I have been able to understand and cope with the things going on in my head much better than I was doing before.
Once again, we're back to arguing with the voice in our head. We've talked about this a number of times previously, particularly in the post on Defusion. As soon as we start questioning negative thoughts, it allows us to see them for what they are: just thoughts. Which are really just neurons sparking and chemicals washing around in our noggins. They're not real.
Here's a sampling of the questions Mind suggests we consider...
Would other people think my suspicions are realistic?
Have I talked to other people about my worries?
Is it possible I have exaggerated the threat?
Is there any evidence for my suspicions that can't be questioned?
Are my worries based on events that could be viewed in different ways?
Are my worries based on my feelings rather than definite evidence?
Is it likely that I would be singled out above everyone else?
Is there any evidence against my beliefs?
Do I still feel suspicious even though other people have reassured me that there is no reason to be?
It might feel like you're interrogating yourself if you run through all those... but then, what is an interrogation if not a gradual chipping away at an individual version of events in order to establish the truth?
Once again, isn't this why we blog? Well, it's another of the reasons I'm sat here doing this on a Sunday night. However, there is a part of me - the PARANOID part - that worries these posts might be interpreted as the work of a crass attention-seeker. I suppose when you write a blog, you are an attention-seeker, because you want people to read it... and comment occasionally. But whenever I receive a kind or supportive comment as a result of writing a post like this, it does make me feel guilty.
I mean, really Rol, you can't win, can you? People are trying to make you feel better - and they actually make you feel worse! Well, maybe not worse. I do appreciate the positive affirmation... it means a lot. But there's still that intrusive voice saying, "What a cry baby! Are you really so weak an insecure that you need to beg people to say nice things to you? Emotionally blackmail them into doing so? You oughta be ashamed of yourself...!"
I do better than a lot of people in this regard. But there's no such thing as "enough sleep" when you have a job, a child and a house...
ii) Think about your diet.
Not as much as some people do, but I've cut down on sugar and I'm eating more nuts, fruit and beetroot...
iii) Try to keep active.
Not as much as I'd like to, but I'm getting out walking two or three times a week at the moment... and I've taken to running up the stairs at work, to get my heart rate elevated.
