Thursday 19 April 2018

My Top Ten Horse Racing Songs



Apparently there was a big horse race last weekend. I wouldn't know. I'm not a fan of horse races. But I do like the odd horse race song. Here's ten runners and riders... who'll be the winner?

(There's no Bob Seger in this countdown. I just like that album cover.)

Special mentions to Grand National and Race Horses.

Oh, and this old song from Racing Cars... which explains why I won't ever go for a day at the races.


10. James -  Sometimes (Lester Piggott)

One of my favourite James songs, though I've no idea why they stuck the famous tax-dodging jockey's name in brackets after the title. Various suggestions I've read online include that the beat of the song sounds like racing hooves (erm... not really) or that this was a phrase the roadie used to call out during soundcheck. We may never know, and any connection to horse racing seems tenuous at best (which is why I've placed it at Number 10)... but it's a cracking tune.

9. Dan Fogelberg - Run for the Roses

Look, if Sting wrote this, I'd be taking the piss out of him for writing a song from the second person perspective of a race horse... but I'll cut Dan Fogelberg a bit more slack because he doesn't have a stripy jumper. Make sure you've got your cheese-board ready for this one...

Born in the valley 
And raised in the trees 
Of western Kentucky
On wobbly knees
With mama beside you 
To help you along 
You'll soon be growing up strong
All the long, lazy mornings 
In pastures of green 
The sun on your withers 
The wind in your mane 
Could never prepare you

For what lies ahead

8. The Pogues - Bottle of Smoke

Let's face it, if you went down the racetrack and found Shane MacGowan there... well, you'd hardly be surprised, would you? You might be surprised if he won though...

Twenty fucking five to one
Me gambling days are done
I bet on a horse called the Bottle of Smoke
And my horse won

7. Bill Monroe and his Blue Grass Boys - Molly And Tenbrooks

The real deal - from 1957, and a bluegrass CD I picked up for 50p in a charity shop.

Tenbrooks was a big bay horse 
He wore that shaggy mane
He run all around Memphis 
He beat the Memphis train

6. Richard Thompson - The Angels Took My Racehorse Away

You see, this is the problem I have with horse racing. What happens to those poor horses?
There's a racecourse in the sky
And that's where all the racing horses must go by and by
And I believe every steward, lord and groom
I believe that they're calling her home

5. Carly Simon - You're So Vain

Well, I hear you went to Saratoga
And your horse, naturally, won

Naturally. Mick, Warren, David... whoever this song was about, he was just a git. Full stop.

4. The Band - Up On Cripple Creek

Good luck had just stung me
To the race track I did go
She bet on one horse to win
And I bet on another to show
Odds were in my favor
I had him five to one
When that nag to win came around the track
Sure enough he had won

Apparently, "Up on Cripple Creek is notable as it is one of the first instances of a Hohner clavinet being played with a wah-wah pedal". Which, I'm sure you'll all agree, is... erm... something.

3. Elbow & Richard Hawley - The Fix

You see, this is why you shouldn't waste your money on gambling - it's all fixed anyway.

The fix is in
There's a nag gonna dance home at Epsom
The fix is in
Can't wait to see how it upsets 'em

(That's one great rhyme there, Guy.)

2. George Jones - The Race Is On

Only George Jones could turn use a racing commentary to chronicle heartbreak...

1. The Hold Steady - Chips Ahoy!

An outsider romps home! But it's one of my favourite Hold Steady tunes. (Great video too.)

She put $900 on the fifth horse in the sixth race
I think its name was "Chips ahoy!"
It came in six lengths ahead,
We spent the whole next week getting high

Chips Ahoy! would be a cool name for a racehorse.



Which is your Shergar?


5 comments:

  1. Stewball by Peter, Paul and Mary is one I remember from my childhood

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Beetle Bomb" by Spike Jones features a frenetic horse race commentary which is quite fun.

    On the other hand, horses sometimes have it very bad as referenced in "Long Shot Kick de Bucket" by The Pioneers

    ReplyDelete
  3. As I mentioned over at CC’s place I was reminded of Win Place or Show, She’s a Winner by the Intruders.

    Some great picks here as ever.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Some good suggestions there, guys... Maybe there's a volume 2 in horseracing songs after all...

    ReplyDelete
  5. "Quinella"- Atlanta Rhythm Section

    ReplyDelete

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