Friday 9 June 2023

TV On The Radio #10: Coronation Street (Part 1)


For somewhere between ten and fifteen years of my life, I watched Coronation Street religiously. It was just you did. To be fair, it was only on twice a week back then, rather than every night and twice on Sundays, or whatever it is nowadays. I saw the lorry crash into the Rover's Return and the fire a few years later that nearly burnt the pub to the ground. I saw Brian Tilsley stabbed outside a nightclub and Alan Bradley hit by a tram while chasing after Rita in Blackpool. I saw Deirdre Barlow have her affair with Mike Baldwin and Ken's terrifying reaction (William Roache almost had to act that day!). And then I discovered Brookside and Corrie seemed twee in comparison. That's the thing with soap operas - one minute you're addicted, the next you're onto the next drug. It's funny though - I just mentioned the big tragedies that happened on the Street while I was watching it... but it seems they happen on a weekly basis these days, rather than once every few years. At least that's the impression I get from the front cover of the TV Times. 

Coronation Street's been on TV for 63 years now, and particularly in the 60s, 70s and 80s, everybody watched it. So if you were a pop star growing up in those days, it's no wonder you might have dropped a reference into one of your songs. 

We'll start today with a new discovery. Michael Knight. How could I not love a band named after the hero of Knight Rider, as played by The Hoff? Furthermore, this is from an album called I'm Not Entirely Sure How I Ended Up Like This. Which seems apt. It's not the easiest listen, but there's something about it I liked enough to buy their entire discography from Bandcamp, so I'll let you know about the rest of their output... 

I suppose I’ll soon tire of her charm
Unless first she grows tired of me
Our love will shine eternally
Though I guess there’re her gossip mags
And her beloved TV
It’s time for Coronation Street

Michael Knight - Coronation Street

Next up, the always-worth-a-listen Clifford T. Ward, who also likes to name-drop himself, with the T. included...

She likes her television
'Crossroads', 'Coronation Street'
And Robin Day's bow tie
She likes the quiz shows
Where people win a lot of money
And that makes sense to her
She likes to listen to the radio
Music, Clifford T., She says he's nice
He's flattered

Clifford T Ward - All Modern Conveniences

Watford's Sad Lovers & Giants have been doing their thing since 1980. Here they put forward a rather frightening notion...

The Martians have stolen my television
But they left my poetry
They're learning about our condition
By watching Coronation Street

Sad Lovers & Giants - Life Will Ill Us

No wonder the aliens never come to visit. They probably think we'll push them down the stairs and then hide their body in a disused building site round the back of the Rover's.

Richard Thompson sees TV as the new religion...

Jerusalem on the Jukebox, they talk in tongues on Coronation Street
Heaven help the Pharisee whose halo has slipped down to his feet
A thousand satellite comedians have died for your sins
Jerusalem on the jukebox, little angels, beat your wings

Richard Thompson - Jerusalem On The Jukebox

...while Stephen Randall is doing his best to get on Product Placement Friday...

Wake me up with cup of Tetley
A slice of Hovis
Eggs, bacon and beans
But the rain is falling down
It's falling down, it's falling down
On Coronation Street

Stephen Randall - England Back (Like Ray Davies Sings)

Especially for C, here's some more Crass...

The army occupy Ireland, but the boot will never fit.
Was it Coronation Street? Or was it Londonderry?
Oh it doesn't fucking matter, Paul Daniels'll keep us merry.

Crass - Nineteen Eighty Bore 

Not fans then, boys? Not like the Toy Dolls anyway, who seem obsessed with Corrie...

Sitting watching Coronation Street
You decide to put your feet up, just about comfy in your seat
And she says, I'm feeling hungry
If she sends you out for a bag of fish'n'chips
You'll know it is time to say

The Toy Dolls - Cheerio & Toodle Pip

That's just one example. We'll look at another next week.

Laurie Shaw is one of those musicians I discovered through doing features such as this. He reminds me of Jarvis at times. He has (according to Bandcamp) released over 100 albums. The ones I've heard are all worth a listen, but I doubt I'll ever have time to hear them all.

I was ill with jealousy
All through Coronation Street
But then I was fine
After a bit, I was alright

Laurie Shaw - Forest Floor

Redhouse Gasoline are from Finland. Yet they appear to know quite a bit about British culture...

When Cynthia’s eyes met Reg’s
He felt just like he’d known her for ages
His chat-up line was really short and sweet
Said she was glamorous enough to be on Coronation Street
She never did her GCEs
Her mum got sick she had to work at the factory
All she ever wanted was for someone to hold her
At the pictures late one night Reg slipped his arm round her shoulder

Redhouse Gasoline - Brighton Pier Ever After

All of which leads us to Billy, still banging on about the British press...

If this does not reflect your view, you should understand
That those who own the papers also own this land
And they'd rather you believed
In Coronation Street capers
In the war of circulation, it sells newspapers
Could it be an infringement
Of the freedom of the press
To print pictures of women in states of undress?

Those are the best songs I could find that mentioned Coronation Street by name. However, there are many more which mention some of the street's iconic residents. Next week, we'll take a listen to some of those. I've got quite a few stacked up, but if you know of any songs that namedrops a legend from the street, do let me know.


4 comments:

  1. Excellent. I'm still watching it now... but never got to see it as a child because it was on ITV!
    As soon as I saw this post was about Corrie, the first song I thought of was 'Coronation Street Shuffle', from the 'Death To Disco' EP by the Not Sensibles (also known for 'I'm In Love With Margaret Thatcher' which was of course satirical...) It is inextricably linked with very early days when I was getting to know Mr SDS, as I spent days replicating the cover design of Death To Disco on a T shirt for him in pink Dylon as a birthday present. If you see the cover you'll see why it took days to do - lots of little falling men and I hand-painted each one...
    Thank you for the Crass mention too; anyone might think from those lyrics that they actually had a TV!

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    1. Discogs let me down on that one. Thanks for bringing it to my attention, C! That's true love, that is,

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  2. I can't add to your excellent lyrics round-up but here is a reggae version of the theme tune from 1983, back when I used to watch it as well: https://youtu.be/4dpyKbKL7_E

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    1. One thing I'm starting to learn: find a tune, and there'll probably be a reggae version somewhere.

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