Monday 15 April 2024

Cnut Songs #26: Boy Racers

King Cnut could not hold back the tide, and I cannot hold back society's full-throttle descent into dystopia. All I can do is watch helplessly from the sidelines, and nod my head sagely when others hold a mirror up to the madness. 

We live on top of a moor looking down on the picturesque Yorkshire town jumped-up village of Holmfirth. By the way, before I begin today's rant, I discovered my first Holmfirth song earlier this week...

The Watersons - The Holmfirth Anthem

I do like folk music, but that's probably a bit too folky even for me. And it makes the town village sound even more yokely than Last of the Summer Wine managed, which is going some. We are way more cosmopolitan than the Watersons give us credit for. The police were called to investigate a couple of weekends back because some Huddersfield gangster fired a gun outside one of the local hostile-ries. They shut the road for over 24 hours while forensic teams combed the area for a bullet. I'm not sure they found it, but they probably found lots of dog shit. Clearly we're less sedate than Chatteris...

Car crime's low, gun crime's lower,
The town hall band CD, it's a grower,
You never hear of folk getting knocked on the bonce,
Although there was a drive by shouting once.

Half Man Half Biscuit - For What Is Chatteris

I'm getting sidetracked. Today's post isn't about local gun-toting hoodlums... if it's about hoodlums of a different variety.

Morrissey - Boy Racer

The Haywains - Boy Racers a Go Go

Squid - Boy Racers

The Wolfhounds - Boy Racers, Rm1

Metronomy - Boy Racers

Boyracer - I've Got It And It's Not Worth Having

Who knew there could be so many songs relating to this particular kind of social irritant? 

Do I need to add much more? We live up on top of a moor, and though the road that passes our house is just a link connecting two main roads, the boy racers still love to floor their pedals as they pass us by. I'll never understand this, or why your car needs more than one exhaust pipe, or why you prefer a car that rumbles like a jackhammer. If my car made that kind of noise, I'd be taking it to the garage. 

Anyway, the purpose of this post isn't just to whinge about boy racers. It's to highlight another excellent song by Wolves of Glendale. Be warned, I will probably find any excuse to feature this band over the next few months. Those of you who feel that comedy and popular music should never mix, feel free to look away now. The rest of you... well, all I can add is that Louise generally has very little time for much of the music I feature on this blog, but she loves this. Then again, she hates boy racers even more than I do. Here's a tip - don't switch it off until it's well past the 90 second mark...


  1. As annoying as boy racers are, we have to put with middle-aged and older men revving their motorbikes on our small one-way street on their way to and outside the posh restaurant further down from us. Every bloody sunday. (I have just deleted the final sentence because it was two-thirds swearing)

    1. Please don't censor your rants on my behalf, George!

    2. Personally I am looking forward to when I am old and decrepit enough to get a mobility scooter and become an old boy racer

  2. I enjoy telling boy racers with a completely straight face and full of concern that there is something seriously wrong and they should get their mufflers checked immediately. - Brian

  3. I'm too scared to confront boy racers. Same with the dickheads who set off fireworks for the flimsiest of reasons.

    Wolves of Glendale are not my type of music, but that made me smile.

    1. To be fair, they change their type of music depending on the targets of their lyrics, but still, I'm glad it raised a smile.


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