Snapshots #278: A Top Ten Edge Songs

I don't really have an opinion about The Edge. I mean, it's not as though he's the most annoying man in music. Although he does share a stage with him, and has chosen to do so for 40 odd years, which does make you wonder. Apparently they called him The Edge because of his weird shaped head. Not because he keeps edging out of the room whenever that egotistical dullard/blowhard he works with shows up. 

Anyway. Here are ten songs that have nothing to do with David Howell Evans...

10. Not Ralph, Veronica or Robert.

Not Ralph Waldo Emerson, Veronica Lake or Robert Palmer.

Emerson, Lake & Palmer - Knife Edge

Last time, I featured ELP here, back in Snapshots #78, Charity Chic was keen to point out that there was much more to Keith, Greg and Karl than just Fanfare For The Common Man. (Yes, you were, CC. Check here if you don't believe me.) That was April 2019. How time flies...

9. Invincible, like Elvis Costello's mouth 

Elvis Costello has a Mouth Almighty.

The Almighty - Over The Edge

8. A definite reason to be cheerful.

Ian's boy, obviously.

Baxter Dury - Picnic On The Edge

7. Ben's cursing Peter, due to a mix-up.

"Ben's cursing Peter" is an anagram.

I almost stopped myself this week, wondering "can you really justify featuring Bruce so often in these countdowns"? Then I reminded myself that this is my blog and I can do what I want. Maybe when I run out of anagrams... which doesn't look like being any time soon.

Bruce Springsteen - Darkness On The Edge Of Town

6. If you don't guess this one right, I'll call you a moderately insulting name. 

That's a pretty minor threat.

Minor Threat - Straight Edge

A song that gave its name to a movement wherein those taking part "refrain from using alcohol, tobacco, and recreational drugs, in reaction to the excesses of punk."

5. Mad as a...

Mad as a box of frogs, obviously.

A band formed by the members of the Yardbirds who didn't go on to greater things.

Box Of Frogs - The Edge

4. School of Aspiration.

Dream Academy - The Edge Of Forever

3. It's a Wonder, she's a thief.

Stevie Wonder nicks stuff.

Stevie Nicks - Edge of Seventeen

2. Fe+C.

The chemical symbol for Steel. Played by David McCallum in Sapphire & Steel.

David McCallum released four instrumental albums in the 60s, in collaboration with David Axelrod. As classically trained musician, McCallum composed many of the tracks and conducted the orchestra that performed then. His most famous track is The Edge, which has been repeatedly sampled in hip hop circles, most notably by Dr. Dre.

David McCallum - The Edge 

1. Bar.

What? You never had a Wham Bar?

(That picture really didn't need any words. The clue was in the image.)

A truly great pop song...

Edge on back this way next Saturday for more Snapshots...

My Top Ten Chocolate Bar Songs

Ten songs about chocolate bars... well, they could be. I saved this one till Lent was over because I knew some of you were being good. 


Special mention to The Drifters, Aerosmith, The Mars Volta and, ahem,  Thom Yorkie. 


10. The Crookes - Two Drifters

Greedy buggers - one's not enough for you?

9. Thea Gilmore - Brother, Can You Spare A Dime?

Thea may be down on her luck but she still hankers after a crunchy butter-almond chocolate treat from Sweden.

8. The Ataris - I.O.U. One Galaxy

So that's about, what, 75p? I'll let you off, lads.

7. Baxter Drury - Picnic On The Edge

Ian's son prefers to eat his in dangerous situations. Suede aren't much better - they eat theirs By The Motorway.

6. Orchestral Manouvres In The Dark - Walking On The Milky Way

Seems a waste of a perfectly good sweet you can eat between meals without ruining your appetite

5. Animals That Swim - Kit Kats and Vinegar

Not the most appetizing of combinations, but apparently it helps their mate get off his head (on the cheap).

4. John Grant - Caramel

Or you may prefer the equally delicious Suzanne Vega song of the same title. Or Take It Easy by The Eagles, which must have been about the same thing. 

3. Half Man Half Biscuit - Dickie Davies Eyes

God, I could murder a Cadbury's Flake,
Then I guess you wouldn't let me into heaven.
Or maybe you would 'cause their adverts promote oral sex!

See also Flakes by The Mystery Jets (which made its way into my Top Ten Breakfast Menu Songs).

2. Heartless Bastards - Marathon

I know, they're not called Marathons anymore, they've not been called Marathons for years. But until someone writes a song as good as this one and calls it 'Snickers', they'll always be Marathons to me.

Not that I ever liked Marathons. I hate peanuts.

1. The Undertones - Mars Bar

Time to raid the Spar, Feargal Sharkey needs to work, rest and play. (Although he has had ten so far.)

To anybody out there who still eats Twix
Anybody on packets of Buttons
I gave them up when I was six
I hope your teeth are rotten

Genius. See also, Marz by John Grant, which might not specifically be about the chocolate bar... but does mention lots of other sweet treats.





Which one is your guilty pleasure?