Keep hold of your valuables this morning - there's a right load of crooks about!
THE CROOKS #1
Meeting on the beach at The Hague (I didn't know The Hague had a beach) in 1965, this band of Dutch folkies broke up a few years later (going off to form King's Galliard and the Ramshackle Stringband) before getting back together to make more music in the late 70s, 80s and 90s.
The added E is because these guys came from a district of Sheffield called Crookes. For a millisecond in 2009, I thought they were the next big thing, mainly down to the fact that I was rather taken by their song Yes, Yes, We're Magicians. Then I blinked and suddenly they'd released 4 albums before splitting up, and I hadn't heard any of them and... where did the time go?
Their final single in 2016 was called The World Is Waiting. Sadly, it wasn't.
Around the same time, these lads from Cheltenham were doing their best to produce "melodic hardcore" (singing tarmac?). Also known as Crooks UK, the track below has over a million views on the tube of you, so they must have been a moderately big thing...
We'll close today with a bit of laid-back Dutch rap from 2021. To quote one youtube comment: "Rauwe echte hiphop, big up Crooks!!" Big up is apparently a universal phrase now.
There were many more Crooks to be found on discogs, but their music had all been stolen, so that's your lot for today. Which Crooks would you walk a Crooked Mile for?
There are, of course, hundreds of songs about magic and magic tricks, so I tried to specifically stick to songs that mention magicians in the title or specifically tell stories about magicians. So no Queen, Pilot, Lovin' Spoonful, ELO, Perry Como... or the Steve Miller Band. Not this time, anyway.
Special mentions to The Magicians and 4 or 5 Magicians (whose excellent Tom Waits Blues is worth tracking down if you can find it anywhere).
There is a grey area, a twilight zone, if you like, between the psychedelic wonder of Jefferson Airplane and the 80s radio conquering might of Starship. This is that strange hinterland, the coccoon phase, the metamorphosis. Tread carefully...
Should probably save this one from my Top Ten Hypnosis Songs... ah, sod it, I'll just run it again then too. If you haven't fallen under its spell in the first ten seconds, there's no hope for you.
It must be tough being a new band from Sheffield: you're instantly shouldered with the burden of being the next Arctic Monkeys, Pulp or Human League. Particularly if Steve LaMacq gets on your case.
The Crookes were cursed to fail in just such a way a few years back... and we've heard very little of them since. Shame, because this one was lovely.
If like me, you're tired of getting older, quicker, every day... CTW's song places the blame for our unhappiness squarely at the feet of that old robbing bastard with the hourglass.
The former Drive-By Trucker is enjoying unprecedented solo success at the moment - he won Artist, Song and Album of the Year at the American Music Awards recently for his latest album, Something More Than Free. Deservedly so, it's one of the best records I've heard in the past 12 months.
This is from his debut solo record, Sirens of the Ditch, and the magic was definitely there back then too...
And I am an orphan man but ain't we all? And I can make myself disappear I am an orphan man but ain't we all? And I could be somewhere worse than here...
I mentioned my love of Scroobius Pip over at A History of Dubious Taste recently and was pleased to hear that Jez agreed with me that (although, musically, Dan le Sac's beats weren't really our thing) Pip is a wordsmith par excellence.
The Magician's Assistant is the perfect example of that. It's a letter to an ex-girlfriend who may or may not have taken her own life, and it stops you in its tracks... if you can get past the whirling, blipping racket in the background. Which I can, easily. But I'd still rather have a guitar, piano and some real drums.
Barton Carroll is a new discovery... who's been hiding in my record collection for a good few years now. Maybe it's just me who does this, but I trip over so much music that interests me, from time to time I buy a record and don't get round to listening to it... for years. This is from his 2010 album Together You & I, which I must have bought soon after its release but only became hooked on a couple of months back.
Carroll's a bit of an enigma: he doesn't even have a wikipedia entry, so lazy bloggers like me can't summarise his discography with one easy click. It took me ages to work out whether he was American or British (he sounds like a Yank, but some of his songs employ a very English vernacular: at times he reminds me of Richard Thompson, but other times he sounds nothing like that). I can't even find out the identity of the female singer who duets with him here. I did discover that he's now giving this album away for free on his website, and I highly recommend you take the time to download... AND LISTEN... to it!
(Him) And I’ll buy you a dress and a big diamond ring (Her) And the vows that I conjure up won’t mean a thing But if you can lower that curtain and get me to sing (Him and Her) I’ll take the magic, black or white I couldn’t care less if it’s bona fide Since you and I know love’s a lie Let’s get on with the illusion
1. Prefab Sprout - The Old Magician
As time goes by, my appreciation for the last Prefab Sprout album, Crimson / Red, grows ever stronger. I love the early Sprout records, but this 2013 MASTERPIECE (let's not use that word lightly, fellow bloggers) is surely one of the most consistently excellent collections of songs released in the 21st Century. It confirms Paddy McAloon's place as a lyrical GENIUS (two-hyperboles-for-the-price-of-one, this week only).
The Old Magician works on two levels: as the story of an aging conjuror coming to terms with the fact that his best tricks are behind him... and as a metaphor for growng old itself. It's witty and heartbreaking at the same time, and it contains some of the best lines Paddy has ever written. I can't decide which is my favourite, but it's probably a toss up between the two highlighted below...
Lord have mercy and be kind
When our faculties unwind
Overlook the hat and gloves
The tired act that no-one loves There was a time we produced doves The old magician takes the stage
With sleight of hand he’ll disengage
As dignified as you’ll allow
He’ll take his last, his final bow He’s lost all his illusions now
I know, they're not called Marathons anymore, they've not been called Marathons for years. But until someone writes a song as good as this one and calls it 'Snickers', they'll always be Marathons to me.
Not that I ever liked Marathons. I hate peanuts.
1. The Undertones - Mars Bar
Time to raid the Spar, Feargal Sharkey needs to work, rest and play. (Although he has had ten so far.)
To anybody out there who still eats Twix
Anybody on packets of Buttons
I gave them up when I was six
I hope your teeth are rotten
Genius. See also, Marz by John Grant, which might not specifically be about the chocolate bar... but does mention lots of other sweet treats.
