Snapshots #408: CRAZY Songs!

Here are fifteen songs featuring madness... in one form or another.

You don't have to be mad to enjoy Snapshots, but it helps...

15. Your Country Needs You.

Not the same Lord Kitchener who was on the recruitment posters. I'd like to have seen him turn his hand to a bit of calypso.

Lord Kitchener - Batty Mamselle

14. And so, we had a cuppa tea...

Lyrics, of course, courtesy of Bernard Cribbins...

Right Said Fred - Deeply Dippy

13. Take a crowbar to the stool.

Jimmy the buffet!

Jimmy Buffett - Fruitcakes

12. Legendary, according to Brad Pitt and Anthony Hopkins.

Brad Pitt and Anthony Hopkins starred together in a film called Legends of the Fall. Sadly Brad did not play Mark E. Smith. And neither did Sir Anthony.

The Fall - Barmy

11. Not a fan of clubbing.

Seal - Crazy

10. Comes before Ann and somewhere in between Jim, Andre, Lloyd and Barry.

Barbara comes before Ann. Jim, Andre, Lloyd and Barry.

Barbara Mandrell - Crackers

9. That's not how I'd spell a saffron producer.

Saffron is found in croci. Or crocuses, if you prefer. 

Krokus - Out To Lunch

8. Give a feline a home!

And it will no longer be a Stray Cat...

Brian Setzer - Off Your Rocker

7. Offensive to Native Americans.

The Redskins - Bring It Down (This Insane Thing)

6. Recently deceased moving bard.

I missed the news that the Poetry In Motion man died earlier this year. Here's another one by him...

Johnny Tillotson - Out Of My Mind

5. A bloke in a German forest finds a child's house.

Wald means "forest" in German. A child's house might be a Wendy house.

Wendy Waldman - Mad Mad Me

4. Lonely, Mountain, Mop, Ten.

It's lonely on top. Mountain top. Mop top. Top Ten!

The Four Tops - Going Loco Down In Acapulco

3. Infant escapades. 

The Adventure Babies - Barking Mad

2. Tommy Roe's Scallywag.

Tommy Roe sang Dizzy. A scallywag is a rascal.

Dizzee Rascal - Bonkers

1. Mixing his food, Andrew ate a clever, clever Eric.

"Andrew ate a clever, clever Eric" was a lengthy anagram...

Creedence Clearwater Revival - Up Around The Bend

You'd be BONKERS not to come back for more Snapshots next Saturday...

Celebrity Jukebox #105: Agatha Christie

We've had her under surveillance since the beginning of the 20th Century. She's implicated in all manner of crimes, including being the best-selling fiction-writer of all time, writing over 80 books, and being responsible for the world's longest running stage play. But what evidence could we find to help convict her?

Let's look at the witness statements, starting with a Knight of the Realm...

Oh, in her two pound coat

She really thinks she's cloaked in mystery

She's actin' like some character from Agatha Christie

I got a pain in my shoes and all I wanna do is dance

The Boomtown Rats - Keep It Up

Ah, so it appears we can rhyme Christie with Mystery. Can any other witnesses back that up?

It's not a mystery, Agatha Christie

Dizzee Rascal - Body Loose

And there's more where he came from...

I never wanted to be 

A man of mystery

My life's an open book

by James Joyce and Agatha Christie 

Jimmy Buffet - If It All Falls Down

Not sure that particular beach bum is a trusty source. Here's someone a little more trustworthy...

In my parallel life I could solve this mystery

Like Agatha Christie I'd have a clue

Alice Peacock - Parallel Life

Now who let this bunch of reprobates into the court room?

We can stand naked on the corner of Main Street, baby, and

Let everybody slow down and take a look

You can drive your Cadillac to the library, baby, and maybe read the

Last ten pages of an Agatha Christie book

You can feed my cat to my dog

And turn around and feed my dog to my horse

You can screw the whole damn royal family, baby, until they

All get a divorce

The Dead Milkmen - The Blues Song

Clearly there are a lot of questions surrounding our suspect today. For example...

Life and Agatha Christie in a Trailway back from New Orleans
Who dunnit, who carried you?

Malcolm Holcombe - Who Carried You?

And more importantly...

The CIA?
The KGB?
Agatha Christie?
Whodunnit? Whodunnit? Whodunnit?

Glaxo Babies - Who Killed Bruce Lee?

In truth, they're queuing up to testify in this case, for both the defence and the prosecution...

Steve Hackett - Carry On Up The Vicarage (A Musical Tribute To Agatha Christie)

The Devil - Agatha Christie

(Proof, if proof be needed, that he doesn't have all the best tunes.)

Negative Nancies - Agatha Christie

The Deep Freeze Mice - Reading An Agatha Christie

...although I'm not sure I'd trust any of that lot.

Thank heavens then for a reliable witness in the shape of our old friends, The Lucksmiths...

I love her but she loves Agatha Christie

And she's so wrapped up in the English Murder Mystery

I was nowhere near the scene of the crime

I was nowhere around at the time

Someone dropped arsenic in Mr Robinson's wine

Getting angry doesn't suit her

Says her English Literature tutor

Case closed.