Another one of Richard Herring's Emergency Questions to arm yourself with the next time you're forced to make dinner party small talk...
Have you ever had a near death experience?
I suppose it depends on your definition of a near death experience. Luckily, I've never walked down a tunnel towards a shaft of light only to get yanked back at the last second... maybe you have? (I hope not.) So I'm going to answer this in terms of "have you almost nearly died?"
Taking that definition, I've probably had more near death experiences than I realise. Every time I drive to work, I encounter a handful of Audi drivers intent on killing me and them. In their fast German cars, I'm sure they're convinced an airbag will save their life...
Beyond these everyday life-threats though, the closest I ever came to death was probably the time I blew up the electric meter in our holiday cottage when I was a kid.
In our home, I grew up with an open fire. As this was the 70s, before they invented Health & Safety, I would often lay the fire, light the fire, and mess about with a hot poker to my heart's content, from a very young age. For example: I had a Star Wars figure that I didn't really like - he was a bit boring - so I melted bits of him with the poker and he became much more interesting to play with.
Every year we went on holiday to a cottage at Reighton Gap near Filey. The cottage didn't have an open fireplace, it had a three bar electric fire... but there was still a poker next to it, for decorative reasons. One day, I wondered what would happen if I touched the poker against the coils of that three bar fire... and I thought I'd give it a go to find out.
The answer to that question is that sparks will fly. The electricity will also travel up the metal poker into your arm. And - if you're lucky - the resulting power surge will short out all the electricity in the bungalow. If you're unlucky, it won't do that and the electricity will continue to flow up the poker, into your arm, and... gkkkkkkk.
I was lucky that day. Until my mum and dad discovered what I'd done.
Here's a song about a Near Death Experience by J. Spaceman and his mates. Thankfully, I didn't Hold On that day...
Have you ever had a near death experience?
