Showing posts with label Spiritualized. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Spiritualized. Show all posts

Wednesday, 18 February 2026

Cancel Culture Club #7: He Hit Me...


I had wondered whether there was any merit / desire to continue the Cancel Culture Club into 2026. We had such a good run towards the end of last year, maybe we should have quit while we were ahead.

I decided to test the water and see if there was any willingness to continue. And despite (or perhaps because of) the rather sensitive subject matter of today’s songs, the committee rose to the occasion. Let’s hear what they all think of this "classic" 1962 single from Phil Spector’s Wall Of Sound…

We’ll start with JC, the Vinyl Villain, purely because he was the first to send me a reply. And to be honest, until he did, I figured we were all prepared to let this feature fade into the mists of the blogosphere…

The Phil Spector ‘wall of sound’ era was the early-mid 60s, and so my initial knowledge of the songs that had been huge hits came solely from hearing them, as a young kid, on BBC Radio shows at least a decade or so later.  The songs were constantly played in ‘Golden Hour’ segments and suchlike, and with the radio being a near constant presence in my home, I can, more or less, still recite the likes of ‘Be My Baby’, ‘Da Doo Ron Ron’ and ‘River Deep, Mountain High’ as they are ingrained in my memory.

But I can’t do similar with ‘He Hit Me (It Felt Like A Kiss)’.  Indeed, I had to go to You Tube to familiarise myself with it, and I genuinely didn’t recognise it.  I’m not saying, for certain, that this was the very first time I will have heard it, but it wasn’t a tune I recognised.

This, in my mind anyway, kind of says that the song was cancelled long before that sort of phrase had ever been thought of.   Having now heard the lyric, and looked it up online to make sure I had heard it properly, let’s keep it that way.  It’s abhorrent.

It turns out that JC is right - the song was pretty much cancelled back in the day… something I hadn’t realised myself as it still crops up on Crystals and Spector compilations pretty frequently. Allmusic tells us…

While radio play was initially encouraging, the complaints quickly began pouring in and, with the general public itself apparently preparing to rise up in protest against the record, igniting one of those periodic feeding frenzies to which society is so oddly prone, Spector pulled the single, ironically just as it prepared to enter the chart. Controversy can encourage sales, after all, as well as cripple them.

We’ll return to JC later, but for now let’s jump over to Khayem from Dubhed, who’s ready to separate the song from the sentiment… to start with, at least.

Structurally and sonically, it’s a brilliant song, the minimal (at least, for Phil Spector) layers of sound perfectly complementing a frankly perfect vocal delivery.

Neither songwriters Gerry Goffin and Carole King nor Spector have, as far as I’m aware, sought to present the song as anything other than what it was, the narrator rationalising that being hit by her boyfriend is a sign of his love. The song was inspired by a real-life exchange Goffin & King had with a teenage “Little” Eva (pre-Locomotion, she was their babysitter), when she shared that she was regularly beaten by her boyfriend, but had normalised the experience.

The song makes no attempt at a value judgement or counter, the narrator simply presents their perspective as a statement of fact. I don’t know that Goffin & King were intentionally trying to subvert the pop form, but there is a power in what is left out as much as what is explicit in the lyrics.

“If he didn’t care for me
I could never have made him mad
But he hit me
And I was glad”

The image those lines create is of an otherwise emotionally bereft, controlling relationship where physical harm is seen as a validation, a hint of attention, a ‘gift’ of love.

And it’s clear that the chilling final line of “And when he kissed me / He made me his” isn’t about how we might make ourselves vulnerable and give ourselves wholly when feeling in love, but of objectification, of being owned, possessed.

At least, that’s how it looks in the 21st century. I get it, that I was already an adult when I first heard this song properly, with a (slightly) greater understanding of what is now recognised and reviled as abusive behaviour.

Would the target audience of 1962 have read between the lines? Possibly not, given that it seemed socially acceptable - amusing, even - to hit women until relatively recently. That scene in 1980 film Airplane! springs to mind, with passengers queueing behind Leslie Neilson’s doctor to ‘slap sense’ into a distraught female passenger. And this is a comedy.

I had asked myself exactly the same question, K, so I was rather surprised to discover (above) that most of the audience back in 1962 clearly could read between the lines and didn’t like what they heard. It’s always tempting to wonder if the generations that preceded us were ignorant savages. It’s the arrogance of youth, but I should be growing out of that now I’m in my 50s. Maybe we never learn. 

Yet, I’m sure that the song resonated with many, who read that deeper, darker meaning into the lyrics at the time. Despite Spector’s ‘neutral’ production - and acknowledging the subsequent revelation of his monstrous abuse of woman - this is no jaunty sing-a-long. The funereal bass line throughout and Barbara Alston’s vocals are not the norm. I hear the latter now as being flat and disembodied, the life and expression seemingly dissipated, the words of ‘justification’ seemingly learned by rote. That said, it’s perhaps no surprise that the band disliked the song and Alston later disowned it.

Interestingly, Carole King would also disown the song later in her life – but perhaps that change of heart only game after she herself fell victim to domestic violence (not from Goffin, but from her third husband, Rick Evers, who died in 1978).

I have a couple of cover versions of He Hit Me (And It Felt Like A Kiss) in my collection. One is by Grizzly Bear, which effectively translates to a same-sex relationship. The other is by Catherine Anne Davies, aka The Anchoress, who has openly shared her lived experience of an abusive relationship. I recalled that they both sounded like pretty straight covers but I was intrigued to revisit them and see if either artists had adapted the lyrics in any way. As it happens, they haven’t.

Grizzly Bear – He Hit Me

The Anchoress - He Hit Me (And It Felt Like A Kiss)

All of which protracted preamble (and thanks for sticking with me) leads me to conclude that I don’t think this song should be cancelled. I don’t think the writers or performers, then and now, have intended to present a narrative or message that an abusive relationship is okay. They’re simply conveyed the perception of someone in that situation and left it to the listener to arrive at their own understanding and interpretation of the narrative.

I think you nailed that, K – over on allmusic again, critic Dave Thompson suggested that both the songwriters and Spector were more interested in “documenting” domestic violence rather than “preaching”. Again, it’s tempting to wonder if a pop song aimed primarily at teenagers is the right place to do that… but in asking that question, am I making a similar value judgement on young people that I aimed at older generations earlier? Can’t teenagers be just as socially aware as adults – even more so in some cases? I dunno… I think back to myself as a teenager. I certainly thought I knew it all, and knew better than my elders in a lot of cases… but a lot of my opinions back then wouldn’t stand up to any kind of scrutiny today.

Elvis Costello - White Knuckles

Let’s move on to C from Sundried Sparrows, who also feels initially torn between the medium and the message…

Sadly, no matter how much I like this song aurally for its kitsch, characteristically Spector, production - the strings, the drumbeat, the vocals so of their time, etc. - I just can't listen to it now without thinking about the many women I've heard about, and the few whom I've also known, who've been physically abused by their partners.  The song delivers its heartrending message with haunting sincerity.  At no point does it seem satirical or exaggerated.  He hit me.  And I was glad.

It absolutely nails the particularly toxic psychological element of an abusive relationship. The very idea that the boyfriend's violent reaction to the girl's unfaithfulness is proof of his "love", and that she's grateful for this, grateful that he showed how much he "cares", reveals so much. She's grateful to be loved by someone capable of hitting her, as if the circumstances - where she confessed to being unfaithful - made it perfectly acceptable for him to do so. We all know that, in reality, it wouldn't end there. It would only be the beginning.  The balance of power has already been tested and proven in his favour, the cycle of abuse would continue.

I’m reminded of Lucy Mangan’s review of a new Netflix documentary that I read recently in the Grauniad. I’ll quote a whole paragraph for context…

Lover, Liar, Predator tells the stories of several women who were coerced, abused and raped by a man called Aaron Swan over his decades-long career. He was 17 when he approached Natalie at a party. She was 17 too but, as a devout Christian with a very protected upbringing, effectively younger and highly vulnerable to his charms. He put pressure on her to give up her virginity. She got pregnant and they married. He was “demeaning and unkind” to her, insulting her looks, claiming to be in love with his ex and subjecting her to violent, unwanted sex (“I endured whatever was required … I thought that’s what sex was”) for years.

Mangan calls the documentary “an instant rebuttal to that most unsympathetic question: why don’t women just leave their abuser?”, and the explanation given at the end of the paragraph above is both horrifying and deeply, deeply sad. It’s heartbreaking that anyone can grow to accept this behaviour as a norm. And in the current climate, where so many rich, powerful men are attempting to justify the mistreatment of women, to excuse it, to normalise it (or to just pretend it didn’t happen)… I guess we have to keep reminding ourselves how that power balance works. Maybe that’s a reason not to cancel this song, as unpleasant as it clearly is. And maybe that’s why artists like the ones Khayem cites above feel the need to revisit it 60+ years later.

Jennifer Nettles ft. Brandy Clark - His Hands 

I’m sorry, C, I interrupted. Do continue…

It's very telling too, I think, that our narrator uses the phrase, "but it didn't hurt me".  It's really subtle but something about the use of the words "it" and "me" in this line give it a different slant. To me this says nothing about actual physical pain, instead it appears to refer to the overall outcome - i.e. she's come out of it ok.  She now has proof of his love, no harm done.  Being hit and being kissed are now metaphorically the same to her, declarations of adoration.

Which takes us right back to that chilling quote from the Lucy Mangan article, doesn’t it?

Also very telling, as sadly so many women in abusive relationships will attest to, is the description of the boyfriend's tenderness immediately afterwards.  It's so desperately, horribly true that typical behaviour of an abuser is to bombard their partner with affection, tenderness and remorse as well - lovebombing - enough to manipulate the abused into complete forgiveness and denial of the bright scarlet flags being waved in their faces.   And then we get the possession thing: "and when he kissed me, he made me his".  Of course, all my modern feminist tendencies are aggrieved by this one small possessive word - and I know it was very different in past decades, I must cut it some slack!  But still, given what has gone on before in this simple, disturbing description of a relationship, that final line carries a graver message.

Yeah, I don’t think that line would be so exceptional in another pop song – there’s a distinction surely to be made between possession in terms of ownership and possession in terms of symbiotic devotion? It’s human nature to want to be so close to another person as to feel like you belong to them. I thought about all the songs that use this particular phrase... 

Elvis Costello – You Belong To Me

Suede - You Belong To Me

The Duprees - You Belong To Me

Doobie Brothers - You Belong To Me

Bryan Adams - You Belong To Me

Bob Dylan - She Belongs To Me

Or even more common, claim ownership through use of the possessive pronoun…

Nat 'King' Cole - Because You're Mine 

Del Shannon - Sue's Gotta Be Mine

Lou Christie - I'm Gonna Make You Mine

Michael Jackson & Paul McCartney - The Girl Is Mine

Cameo - She's Mine

Guns 'N' Roses - Sweet Child O' Mine /  You Could Be Mine

Contrast those with the ones where someone swears they belong to you…

Caro Emerald - I Belong To You

Brandi Carlile - I Belong To You

Marilyn Monroe - My Heart Belongs To Daddy

Gina G - I Belong To You

B*Witched - To You I Belong

The Shirelles - My Heart Belongs To You

And then I thought about all the songs that deny “ownership” as part of a relationship.

Lesley Gore – You Down Own Me

Belinda Carlisle - Nobody Owns Me

Hinda Hicks - You Think You Own Me

Angus and Julia Stone - I'm Not Yours

La Roux - I'm Not Your Toy

What do you notice about those lists? The songs claiming ownership all come from men. The ones pledging to be (or denying that they are) a possession all come from women.

Admittedly, I’ve rigged the vote, there were some songs that broke the gender barriers established in my samples above (in fact, after about 1990, far more women appear to be claiming a man to be “mine” than the other way round). Maybe relationship equality really has taken hold in the pop world?

Sorry, C – I keep interrupting you!

I only read about the history of this song after I'd put down my own thoughts - the background (as has probably already been mentioned) being that Goffin & King wrote it after their babysitter, Little Eva, told them that she put up with her boyfriend beating her because it was motivated by his love. I also read that there were widespread protests about it on its initial release, so it's not as if we're just coming at it from a more modern perspective.  Should it be cancelled now, though  - or are we able to hear it as a brutal but cautionary tale?  Unfortunately, whilst I can hear it as the latter, I just think it's too close for comfort for airplay in an age where domestic abuse is still so prevalent. And knowing it was based on truth and presented without any irony just puts the tin lid on it now.

Thank you, C.

The Chicks - Goodbye Earl

Ah yes – the irony interpretation. It would be possible to present the lyrics of this song in an ironic fashion – arguably, that may well be what the cover versions Khayem alerted us to earlier are attempting to do. But to quote Dave Thomson one more time…

In more ironic hands (and a more understanding age), 'He Hit Me' might have passed at least as satire. But Spector showed no sign of appreciating that, nor did he feel any need to.

Hozier - Cherry Wine

Which might be a good time to let Alyson of the Jukebox Time Machine have her say. What’s It All About, Alyson?

This response won’t take long Rol, because any song that is titled, He Hit Me (It Felt Like a Kiss) is a big no-no from me. Having looked into it a bit more, it seems this was a line used prior to the song being written as it appeared in films, most famously in the musical Carousel. The songwriters Gerry Goffin and Carol King apparently heard their babysitter (Little Eva of Locomotion fame) use it and Gerry (the lyricist) thought it would be a good subject matter for a song – WRONG. It seems that people who suffer domestic abuse or endure dysfunctional relationships can see it as a sign that their partner really loves them, because of the passion aroused in them at the thought of losing them!! I know what I would think if anyone ever hit me, and it wouldn’t be that they felt so passionately about me they were driven to violence. But I suppose I have been lucky in that regard, and not all women are as lucky. The fact Amy Winehouse also recorded it reflected her troubled relationship with “her Blake”.

I couldn’t find a version by Amy anywhere, Alyson, although I did find this clip where she discusses the song. Then again, I also saw it suggested online that Amy had wanted to do a cover of Lesley Gore’s You Don’t Own Me… but she settled on recording another Gore song instead.

Amy Winehouse – It’s My Party

It’s getting harder and harder to sift facts from fan- or AI-created nonsense these days though. Anyway, you were saying…

So, for the first time in this series, I am going for absolute cancellation. It doesn’t even have any redeeming features in terms of how it sounds – a dirge that matches the grim subject matter being explored. Ironic too that the song’s producer was Phil Spector who had a dire track record when it came to relationships with women.

Yes, I’m surprised other committee members haven’t made more of the fact that Phil Spector was the man behind this particular misfire. Perhaps Martin from New Amusements will have something to say about that…

The Crystals. Where to begin? I mean, the lyrics are desperate - first of all, our narrator tries to make light of her boyfriend's casual violence ("he hit me but it didn't hurt me"), then find a positive in it ("he hit me and I knew he loved me"), then celebrate it ("he hit me and I knew I loved him"). In the middle of all that, she even seems to welcome the abuse ("he hit me and I was glad"). All of which made me wonder if this warped perspective came from producer Phil Spector but no, it's a Goffin-King composition, and based on the real-life experience of their babysitter, Little Eva. So a cautionary tale, perhaps? And, as such, there may be no cultural grounds for cancellation. That said, this is far from the best work of everyone involved, so if I never heard it again I wouldn't be too upset. You might even say I was glad.

Which seems to be the overall sentiment regarding this particular tune. Thank you, Martin. But wait… when I threw this suggestion out to the committee, I also name-dropped a couple of other tunes which (on the surface, at least) tackle a similar subject matter. Mainly because I figured they might pop up as part of the discussion… although I’m wondering now if they might not have done, and the only reason people felt drawn to comment on them was because I’d made the link.

The first was this, which has quite a similar title…

Should we be equally disturbed by the way Florence links love to violence?

Let’s return to Martin

The Florence & The Machine track, at first glance, is less concerning. Both halves of the couple seem to be giving as good as they get: "You hit me once, I hit you back, you gave a kick, I gave a slap, you smashed a plate over my head, then I set fire to our bed" and so on. I mean, it's not a relationship I'd want to be in but if it works for them... except "a kiss with a fist is better than none". That doesn't seem like a healthy position for anyone to be in. That said, I have seen the argument that this song isn't about symbiotic domestic abuse but rather a metaphor for the strength of the narrator and her lover’s passion. Mind you, in the same paragraph I saw a parallel drawn with Bleeding Love by Leona Lewis, which possibly undermines the argument.

Leona Lewis - Bleeding Love

Bottom line? I wouldn't cancel either of them. I find The Crystals song more problematic, because of the excusing, acceptance and desperate celebration of the narrator's position. It feels less like she is an equal partner in a relationship, more like she has Stockholm syndrome. But it serves as a cautionary tale, perhaps, and gets people (not least the Cancel Culture Club jury) talking about these issues. And it's the same for Florence; I'm not sure I'd want anyone to be joyfully singing along with this, but if they're thinking about the position someone must be in to feel that a kiss with a fist is better than none, then the song has done some good work. Possibly.

Which brings us nicely back to the question about art being unafraid to tackle serious, disturbing issues and make us question our thoughts on such matters. But does that depend on the ability and maturity of the audience to appreciate those questions… should casual, throwaway “pop” art be given the same consideration in that respect as serious literature or fine art? Is it patronising to draw a line between the two… or necessary, in order to avoid misinterpretation and offence?

What did JC make of Kiss With A Fist?

Until posed the question by Rol, I hadn’t imagined linking this to the song by The Crystals.

It’s not one I’d call to be cancelled, primarily as I don’t think it is concerning itself with domestic violence per se.

Yup, it beings with ‘you hit me once, I hit you back, you gave me a kick, I gave you a slap, you smashed a plate over my head’ which is all very horrific sounding.  But the next line, delivered without any sort of pause - ‘then I set fire to our bed’ – is the key to everything as it confirms the lyrics are very much about imagery. The use of poetic license makes for a sound defence.

Burning beds are a common metaphor in pop songs, aren’t they? For all kinds of things…

Midnight Oil – Beds Are Burning

James - Laid

Alice Cooper - Burning Our Bed

Izzy Cox - Burn Your Bed

Morrissey - The Bed Took Fire

Little Stevens - Lyin' In A Bed Of Fire

None of those deliver quite the same context.

It’s all put into context by the next verse ‘My black eye casts no shadow, your red eye sees no blame, your slaps don't stick, your kicks don't hit, so we remain the same, love sticks, sweat drips, break the lock if it don’t fit.’

I think of it more as a cartoon love song that could be accompanied by scenes from ‘Tom and Jerry’ or ‘Itchy and Scratchy’. 

Quite – and funnily enough, C made exactly the same comparison…

Talking of irony, you also mentioned: Florence & The Machine:  Kiss With A Fist.

And I hear this very differently to the Crystals' song.  It's over-the-top, it has proper shock value, it's crazily extreme (I hope!) and it's this which somehow diminishes any seriousness.  It depicts its violence in a kind of 'Tom & Jerry' way - yes, I can visualise the animation for it now, the plate smashed to smithereens over the head of someone causing a whirl of dizzy stars as they fall to the ground with crossed eyes, the bed engulfed in a cartoon fire, flecks of soot and sparks flying everywhere....  It's vicious, visceral...in fact, too vicious, too visceral, to be truly troubling. Isn't that weird? - perhaps it should be very troubling, but its unrestrained ferocity, is the key - like a parody.  And it's two-way.  Not that I'm condoning two-way violence over one-way violence but, you know, fair's fair here.  I'm fine with this!

Some couples like a bit of rough, eh? And as long as everyone is consenting… well, it’s a free world, as Kirsty once said.

Billy Bragg - Levi Stubbs Tears 

Here’s Walter from A Few Good Times In My Life to summarise his opinion on both songs…

Although they have the same theme, their intentions are to be evaluated differently. While Florence & The Machine apparently addresses a violent relationship that is lived by both partners, The Crystals sing about domestic violence. Kiss With a Fist is a great and catchy pop song with an abstruse theme that I can't quite understand, but still tolerate. In He Hit Me, the partner's violence in the relationship is glorified and celebrated as proof of love. These ideas counteract pretty much everything women have fought for in recent decades and should no longer be played, as there is still too much domestic violence in our society.

Thank you, Walter – a fine summation of the overall feelings of the committee thus far. Although there’s still one member waiting to have his say – Swiss Adam from Bagging Area. And I’ve saved Adam to the end for a good reason. He was the only one brave enough to tackle the other song that I couldn’t help think about in regard to this particular subject…


(I tried to find the actual video and the only site that had it in full wanted me to age-verify before they'd let me watch it!)

Before we get onto that little beauty, let’s hear Adam’s thoughts on today’s principal defendant…

He Hit Me (And It Felt Like A Kiss) is a problematic song and I don't know where I stand on it. 

Domestic violence is very bad.

The song is clearly about domestic violence. 

It was co- written by Carole King (under Phil Spector's guidance).

Spector was a very bad person- imprisoned for murdering a woman and abusive to his wife Ronnie over many years. 

It was written by Goffin and King on discovering that their babysitter- Little Eva, yes, that Little Eva- was regularly beaten up by her boyfriend and when they asked her why she put up with it, she replied it was because he loved her so much. 

The song's musical backing is wonderfully Spectorian but also brooding and dark. The Crystals sing so sweetly but sound numbed.

Are the writers, singers and musicians merely documenting domestic violence? Is there a glorification of it? Does it normalise domestic violence?

Maybe. Maybe. Probably. 

Carole King later said she regretted ever writing the song and was a survivor of domestic abuse herself. 

It's bad news all round. 

Maybe it's best if it's seen as a time specific 1960s/ Phil Spector piece- and treated in the same way that we treat 'art' from the racist 1930s USA or 1940s Germany, something that existed, can be discussed historically/sociologically but not held up for enjoyment or admiration. 

We keep circling back to these overriding questions about art, its intention, our ability to consider it in context… and the question of whether everyone will / can do so in the same way. And do we have the right to censor art – to CANCEL it – just because other people might not be able to apply the same context and considerations that we do?

Is there even a kind of pseudo-intellectual arrogance in asking that question? Oh, the dilemma!

Sorry. Carry on, Adam…

Without it though, we'd never have had Spiritualized's She Kissed Me (And It felt Like A Hit) which is a brilliant inversion of the title and the song, Jason comparing love and narcotics in a way only he can. 

Spiritualized - She Kissed Me (It Felt Like a Hit)

Well, that is clearly a work of genius on all counts. But what about the elephant in the room, Adam?

The Prodigy's Smack My Bitch Up is also problematic. It was at the time. I always got a sense that The Prodigy knew it would be, that a deliberate wind up of left-wing sensibilities was behind it, that it was in some way 'punk'. Weird in a way because rave (which they came out of) was not misogynistic, it was very much desexualised in some ways, boys (with long hair) and girls (with short hair) in baggy clothes dancing to music in a field.

Smack My Bitch Up was a nod to hip hop (which had massive use of the word bitch all the place) and a shock factor song with an equally 'hey Mum I shocked the kids' video. Even at the time it felt like we should have moved past that, it was puerile rather than punk.

I always felt that it was a case of arrogant folly. Of trying too hard to be ‘punk’, crossing the same line that John Lydon did many years earlier… but because times had moved on, the Prodigy had to try so much harder to be shocking in the 90s than Johnny Rotten did in the 70s. I’d be interested to know if the song was written after the success of Breathe and Firestarter – if, following the triumph of those two discs, the band felt untouchable… but also felt they had to push the envelope much, much further to maintain their status. Positioning it as the opening track on Fat of the Land seems an intentionally button-pushing act of self-belief / over-confidence. 

The Beastie Boys weighed in and asked Prodigy not to play it at the Reading Festival (both were appearing on the same bill) and the Prodigy obviously said no. Rightly I guess - one artist can’t choose another's setlist. The Beastie Boys themselves had gone through their own awakening regarding gender equality and sexism, denouncing their own early sexist singles and their attitudes and apologising on Sure Shot -

'I want to say a little something that's long overdue
The disrespect to women has got to be through
To all the mothers and the sisters and the wives and friends
I want to offer my love and respect to the end'

The Beastie Boys - Sure Shot

3 MCs and 1 DJ - and personal growth. 

The word Bitch has gone around. In the 80s and 90s it became seen as misogynistic (rightly), a term used by men to demean women. I can't be the only one who remembers left wing activists chanting 'ditch the bitch' when protesting against Thatcher. I loathed Thatcher but that ain't right.

In the 90s the word seemed to be used mainly by men who wanted to appear edgy. Hello Quentin Tarantino (a man so edgy he liberally used the N- word too, writing scripts full of both words as if it was a personal mission to see how often he could get actors to say them - one of the most quoted lines from Reservoir Dogs is, 'Eddie, you keep talking like a bitch, I'm gonna slap you like a bitch'. He goes similarly off in Pulp Fiction 'why you trying to fuck him like a bitch?'). Tarantino looked at the world like a 13 year old boy. I think Smack My Bitch Up looks at it the same way. 

Interestingly my daughter, a history/ politics graduate, left wing feminist who wrote a dissertation on 4th wave feminism and beauty culture, uses the word bitch a lot - in a fairly non- genderised way, sometimes describing both men and women as 'bitches'- the exact meaning varies, it can be used to describe those who gossip and talk shit about people but also to describe people, male or female, who are sneaky, duplicitous or those don't stand up for themselves. She also uses it in a 'boss bitch' way, celebrating powerful women (the reclaiming the word thing, using it as a sign of strength and empowerment). Maybe we're post-bitch now. 

I wonder if the current usage of the word comes from the world of Drag Race and its ilk? Whenever I hear it used in that context, that’s what I think of. Or maybe Meredith Brooks just changed the world back in 1997 (same year as the Prodigy!)…

Meredith Brooks - Bitch

All of this is a lot of words to reach few conclusions. 

Maybe it's this - cancel none of them; but think carefully about them all. 

And there's no finer conclusion to this edition of the CCC than that.

Thank you, Adam. Thank you all.


Friday, 9 May 2025

Emergency Questions #4: Near Death Experience


Another one of Richard Herring's Emergency Questions to arm yourself with the next time you're forced to make dinner party small talk...

Have you ever had a near death experience?

I suppose it depends on your definition of a near death experience. Luckily, I've never walked down a tunnel towards a shaft of light only to get yanked back at the last second... maybe you have? (I hope not.) So I'm going to answer this in terms of "have you almost nearly died?"

Taking that definition, I've probably had more near death experiences than I realise. Every time I drive to work, I encounter a handful of Audi drivers intent on killing me and them. In their fast German cars, I'm sure they're convinced an airbag will save their life...


Beyond these everyday life-threats though, the closest I ever came to death was probably the time I blew up the electric meter in our holiday cottage when I was a kid.

In our home, I grew up with an open fire. As this was the 70s, before they invented Health & Safety, I would often lay the fire, light the fire, and mess about with a hot poker to my heart's content, from a very young age. For example: I had a Star Wars figure that I didn't really like - he was a bit boring - so I melted bits of him with the poker and he became much more interesting to play with.


Every year we went on holiday to a cottage at Reighton Gap near Filey. The cottage didn't have an open fireplace, it had a three bar electric fire... but there was still a poker next to it, for decorative reasons. One day, I wondered what would happen if I touched the poker against the coils of that three bar fire... and I thought I'd give it a go to find out.


The answer to that question is that sparks will fly. The electricity will also travel up the metal poker into your arm. And - if you're lucky - the resulting power surge will short out all the electricity in the bungalow. If you're unlucky, it won't do that and the electricity will continue to flow up the poker, into your arm, and... gkkkkkkk.

I was lucky that day. Until my mum and dad discovered what I'd done.

Here's a song about a Near Death Experience by J. Spaceman and his mates. Thankfully, I didn't Hold On that day...


Have you ever had a near death experience?


Monday, 23 October 2023

Self-Help For Cynics #11: Why I Hate New Order

I thought I was mistaken
I thought I heard your words
Tell me how do I feel?
Tell me now, how do I feel?

I still find it so hard
To say what I need to say
But I'm quite sure that you'll tell me
Just how I should feel today

New Order - Blue Monday

When I was 16, I was in love with a girl called Maddie who didn’t know I existed. 

No, wait a second, there are certain parts of that sentence I need to qualify...

1. Was I in love? Do we truly know what love is at 16 years of age? Does our brain ever truly know what love is?

Foreigner - I Want To Know What Love Is

Love is an emotion we primarily link to our hearts, perhaps because our heart beats faster when we see the person we love. Except it’s only doing that because that’s what our brain told it to do.

The Neat - Hormones In Action (In My Heart)

Here’s Professor Timothy Loving from the University of Texas. Yes, that is his real name. Yes, that’s the primary reason I’m quoting him.

Part of the whole attraction process is strongly linked to physiological arousal as a whole. Typically, that's going to start with things like increased heart rate, sweatiness and so on.

Spiritualized - I Think I'm in Love

What else does the brain get up to when it thinks it’s in love?

Healthline tells us...

Simply thinking about the object of your affections is enough to trigger dopamine release, making you feel excited and eager to do whatever it takes to see them.

Then, when you actually do see them, your brain “rewards” you with more dopamine, which you experience as intense pleasure.

I could go on, but putting aside adolescent hormones and teenage notions such “being in love with love”, or as Donny put it…

Donny Osmond - Puppy Love 

…I think it’s fair to say I was getting a fair few dopamine hits whenever I saw this girl, spent time with her, or thought about her. Doesn’t sound quite so romantic, that, does it?

She Drew The Gun - Dopamine 

2. Was she actually called Maddie? Well, her name was Madeline, and that was how she referred to herself. I never heard anyone else call her Maddie, but I did on occasion. Did I do this as a sign of affection? Clearly. Was it actually what she wanted? I’m not sure.

The reason I called her Maddie (and possibly one of the reasons I was so “in love” with her) is because I was obsessed with the TV show Moonlighting at the time, and its main characters were David (Bruce Willis) Addison and Maddie (Cybill Shepherd) Hayes. I didn’t particularly fancy Cybill Shepherd, and “my” Maddie looked nothing like her, but David and Maddie had a whole “will they / won’t they” thing going on, and in my head I was confusing fantasy with reality, as teenagers are wont to do. The other thing that happened in Moonlighting was that David Addison occasionally broke the fourth wall, and seemed at times to be aware that he was a character in a TV show. This notion appealed to me greatly, and together with my mate Richard, we regularly talked about our own lives as though they were episodes of a TV show. Actually, this was an idea I’d been working on throughout my childhood – in my head, I had my own TV station (one that switched over to being just a radio station when I went to bed… it was complicated). This might seem like irrelevant information, but you’ll need to know it later. There will be a quiz.

Bruce Willis - Good Lovin'

3. Clearly Maddie did know I existed since we had regular conversations, mostly on the long bus journey home where we would often sit together – well, not together on the same seat, but usually on adjacent seats. And when we got off the bus, those conversations would often continue while I walked her home – well, we were going in the same direction, and I carried on up the hill after she’d crossed the road to go into her own house. Were both of these situations led by me? I mean, did she ever choose to sit by me or was she always on the bus when I got on with empty seats in her vicinity? Was I merely preferable to some of the other losers and malcontents on that bus? Did she secretly want to walk up that hill on her own but she was just being polite when I tagged along?

Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons - My Eyes Adored You

Looking back, I might think that. I certainly manufactured situations in which we could bump into each other or be in the same place together, but that’s what you do at that age, isn’t it? The whole thing’s a minefield, and I’m glad I don’t have to deal with it any more. In my defence, I will offer the rainy lunchtimes we spent together in the music block, practicing our instruments. (Not a euphemism.) She played piano better than me, and some other kind of wind instrument (clarinet?) while I had my tenor horn and we would, on occasion, hang out in one of the practice rooms, mucking about with music, but mostly just chatting and having a laugh.

(I should perhaps at this point reveal that, about a year or so later, my friend Simon got so sick of me going on about Maddie that he went to ask her if she’d like to go out with me. Because clearly I was never going to do such a thing myself. I was great at dropping hints, but no way was I going to approach her directly. So anyway, Simon asked her out for me… and what ensued? Only one of those awful, embarrassing (for everyone) sitcom scenarios in which Maddie actually thought that Simon was asking her out for himself (rather than me), excitedly accepting, only to then… well, you can guess the rest.)

The Brilliant Corners - Why Do You Have to Go Out With Him When You Could Go Out With Me?

OK, I know what you’re thinking. HOW THE HELL DOES ALL THIS EXPLAIN WHY YOU HATE NEW ORDER!?!

Apologies for the whole Ronnie Corbett bit. I’m getting there.

You just can't believe me
When I show you what you mean to me
You just can't believe me
When I show you what you cannot see


New Order - Confusion

In my previous Self-Help For Cynics Post, I wrote about the Storytelling Brain. How the brain uses stories to create neural pathways which teach us how to deal with things that happen to us in our lives. This appears to be a wonderful thing… until it goes wrong. And when it does go wrong, those same neural pathways end up reinforcing negative opinions, beliefs or ideas based on responses to negative experiences. Dr. Faith explains, in her own inimitable style…

But clearly the storytelling brain has the capacity to be a serious fucking problem too. We start telling ourselves (and believing) certain stories about ourselves and the world around us. Our brains are wired to crave certainty. We WANT to see patterns in what happens to us so we can make better decisions about the world and how we are supposed to keep ourselves safe in it.

The emotional brain makes a decision for us and the thinking brain has to scramble to come up with a reason why.

Which brings me back to the will-they / won’t-they romance in my 16 year old brain.

The Donnas - Do You Wanna Go out with Me?

It was the end of term. Or, in the TV station of my head, it was the last episode of the series. Everything was building up to a climax, because that’s what happens at the end of a series. On our final journey home together before the holidays, I got up the courage to clumsily drop the biggest hint so far to Maddie that I was interested in being a little more than friends. The ironic thing is, I have very little memory of what I actually said, I only recall that it went as well as it could have done (no outright rejection, anyway… then again, clearly she didn’t swoon into my arms either) and that I was left with a distinct feeling that when I saw her again… maybe… we’d be ready to move up to the next level. Like, I dunno, actually sitting together on the same seat or something.

AC/DC - Can I Sit Next to You, Girl?

As a result, I walked home that night in a state of euphoria. Which is all in the brain, again! Healthline explains…

That giddy, euphoric excitement you feel when spending time with the person you love (or seeing them across the room, or hearing their name)? You can trace this entirely normal effect of falling in love back to the neurotransmitter dopamine.

Glasvegas - Euphoria, Take My Hand

Ah, that pesky dopamine again. I’m surprised it took me so long to get to that little critter. Harvard Health goes into more detail…

Dopamine is most notably involved in helping us feel pleasure as part of the brain’s reward system. Sex, shopping, smelling cookies baking in the oven — all these things can trigger dopamine release, or a "dopamine rush." 

This feel-good neurotransmitter is also involved in reinforcement. That’s why, once we try one of those cookies, we might come back for another one (or two, or three).

Hopped up on dopamine following my seemingly successful hint drop, I was keen to share this with my friend Richard, who understood the language of 4th wall breaking imaginary TV shows better than any of my other contemporaries.

Heart - Strange Euphoria 

A little bit about Richard, before I go on. We’d been mates for about three or four years by this point, and along with my other mate Simon, who I’d known since junior school, we’d formed a pretty tight little group. Best friends? I’m not sure I’ve ever had a best friend, but the three of us were as close as we could be without ever using that terminology. Although Simon and I had the longer friendship, and many shared interests, Rich and I had bonded over a love of music. That began with Queen (particularly A Kind Of Magic, which was out around then) and classic Motown. Although lately, his tastes had been changing. He’d become obsessed with the Smiths (who, at the time, I hated) and the Pet Shop Boys, a band I liked (bought quite a few of their singles) but clearly didn’t connect with on the same level that he did. I liked Neil Tennant’s arch lyrics, while Rich liked the beats. It was the mid-late 80s, and although I didn’t realise it at the time, I was losing him to dance music.

I don't like country-and-western
I don't like rock music
I don't like, I don't like rockabilly or rock 'n' roll particularly
Don't like much really, do I?
But what I do like I love passionately

Pet Shop Boys - Paninaro

On that fateful evening then, I gave him a call to update him on the end-of-season cliff-hanger involving Maddie… but when he answered the phone, something was off. There was music playing in the background, and Rich seemed distracted. As I poured my euphoric heart out, it quickly became apparent that Rich was only half listening to me, that someone else was there, and that they were taking up more of his attention. And after a few minutes I realised that whoever it was, was laughing at me. Laughing at the private conversation I was having with my friend, at my pathetic attempts at romance, and that Rich was laughing too.

You call me on the phone, you left me all alone
All I get from you is shellshock
Another day goes by and all I do is cry
All I get from you is shellshock

New Order - Shellshock

I stopped and asked Rich what was going on. Who was there with him? And that’s when he told me.

It was Swanny.

All you need to know about Swanny is that he lived a few doors down from Rich and that he was a complete and utter arsehole. A couple of years prior, he’d indulged (along with a few other kids) in some minor league bullying, of which I was one of his semi-regular marks. And as far as I was concerned, the scars were still fresh.

“What are you doing?” I asked Rich, meaning, “Why are you laughing at me? Why aren’t you being the friend and confidant I’ve come to expect and rely on? Why are you pissing all over my euphoria… with fucking Swanny!?!”

“Nothing,” said Rich. “We’re just listening to the new New Order record.”

I hung up the phone and didn’t speak to Rich again for the next nine months. Eventually Simon managed to get us talking again, and we made up… in a way. But it was never the same.

When I was a very small boy
Very small boys talked to me
Now that we've grown up together
They're afraid of what they see

New Order - True Faith

Thirty-five years later, I still can’t listen to New Order. This is something which sets me at odds with large sections of the music blogging community who worship the ground Bernard and Peter (and whatever the rest of them are called) make beats on. And it’s all down to my story-telling brain, which has inextricably linked the anger, embarrassment and shame I felt that evening in 1988 to New Order’s Technique. Neural pathways have been created which mean that whenever I hear New Order on the radio, or see another post pop up about them on one of my favourite blogs, I’m taken back to that night and all those unpleasant feelings.

"Unpleasant feelings" though... as adolescent trauma goes, I will admit that this is pretty mild. However, the same principle applies to much deeper wounds, in theory.  

Since I was born I started to decay
Now nothing ever, ever goes my way

Placebo - Teenage Angst

Dr. Faith would no doubt tell me that this can be fixed. That if I started listening to more New Order, thereby allowing my brain to create new neural pathways which could over-ride the old ones, that would eventually lead to positive associations and responses, and my opinion of the band might change. It is possible to re-wire your brain in this way… after all, as I mentioned earlier, I used to hate The Smiths, and then in my 20s, various things happened which allowed me to hear them in a new light. If I put enough energy and effort into it then, perhaps I could make myself like New Order. 

Are there any bands you hate because your brain has linked their music to painful memories?

I would like a place I could call my own
Have a conversation on the telephone
Wake up every day that would be a start
I would not complain of my wounded heart



Post script...

A weird thing happened while compiling this post. I actually sat and listened to the New Order songs above, and I didn't hate them as much as I thought I did. 

Now you can call this wishful thinking or a self-fulfilling prophecy, or me just trying to make a point. Wanting to believe in something, then making it so. Theodor Herzl: "If you will it, it is no dream." Surely it can't be as easy as that...?

The cynical jury remains out...


Thursday, 21 January 2021

My Top Ten "Without Phil Spector..." Songs


After completing my Top Ten tribute to the work of Phil Spector on Tuesday evening, I couldn't help but feel like there was something missing. Yes, I'd covered the very best of Spector's own musical output... but what of his legacy? If it hadn't been for his influence, chances are we wouldn't ever have heard any of the songs below... at least not in the way we know and love them.

(As to the photo above, Bruce probably regrets that now almost as much as the ill-advised Ben Affleck goatee.)


10. Cher - Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down)

Beginning his career as a gofer for Phil Spector, Sonny Bono went on to emulate his former boss on many of the records he produced later in the 60s.

9. Abba - Waterloo 

Prior to the sessions that produced this, Ring Ring, and other Spector-esque Abba classics, engineer Michael B. Tretow read Richard Williams' book Out of His Head: The Sound of Phil Spector. After that, he layered on the overdubs, and Abba's sound changed forever.

8. Spiritualized - Ladies & Gentlemen, We Are Floating In Space

Jason Pierce = Phil Spector In Space.

7. Wizzard - See My Baby Jive

Roy Wood made no secret of the fact that he was aiming to recreate the Wall of Sound on songs like this one and I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday. The kitchen sink was full utilised.

6. The Jesus & Mary Chain - Just Like Honey

From the opening echo-drenched drumbeats, stolen directly from Be My Baby, there's little doubt that the Mary Chain had been listening to a lot of Phil Spector.

5. The Walker Brothers - The Sun Ain't Gonna Shine Anymore

Producers Johnny Franz and Ivor Raymonde set out their stall as the British equivalents to Phil Spector, and this is probably the song that came closest to emulating the Wall of Sound sound. Ironically, it was released in 1966, the same year Spector became demoralised with the music industry following the weaker-than-expected chart performance of his masterpiece, River Deep, Mountain High.  

4. The Shangri-Las - Leader of the Pack

Produced by George 'Shadow' Morton, who aimed to take Spector's sense of melodrama to the next level... and arguably succeeded on tracks such as this and Past, Present & Future. Morton wore a cape in the studio, but - as far as I know - never pulled a gun on anyone.

3. Meat Loaf - Bat Out Of Hell

As much as Jim Steinman stole from Bruce Springsteen, he stole far more from Phil Spector. If Spector created the Wall of Sound, Steinman built another three walls and then a roof on top. Many see this as excess, but it's that very excess that appeals to me in Steinman's work. He might get more respect if he had a little more restraint... but he's all right in my book.

Back in the 90s, record company bosses tried to get Spector to work with Steinman... to produce, of all people, Celine Dion. Spector refused, saying he had no desire to work with, "amateurs, students, and bad clones of yours truly."

Steinman, in typically Steinman-esque fashion, replied, "I'm thrilled to be insulted by Phil Spector. He's my God, my idol. To be insulted by Phil Spector is a big honour. If he spits on me, I consider myself purified."

2. The Beach Boys - Good Vibrations

I'm sure George will have something to say about me placing this at #2, or for choosing it ahead of anything from Pet Sounds, which Brian Wilson described as an "interpretation" of Phil Spector's Wall of Sound production technique. I will freely admit that I consider God Only Knows to be a better song than Good Vibrations (and maybe even my #1)... but God Only Knows doesn't sound as Spectorish to me as this does. 

Brian Wilson created Good Vibrations with the aim of portraying his "whole life performance in one track", telling himself, "This is going to be better than You've Lost That Lovin' Feeling". Spector pulled the song apart, saying there was way too much "tape manipulation" and too many edits for it to be a "beautiful" record.

1. Bruce Springsteen - Born To Run

Well, I'm nothing if not predictable, am I?

Producer Mike Appel explains how Bruce came to him before the recording of Born To Run and said, "I’m trying to meld my lyrics with more Phil Spector-type songs and I’d like to use his production values", which Appel then helped him develop.

 “Phil’s greatest lesson," Bruce later said, "was that sound, sound, sound is its own language.”


Friday, 22 January 2016

My Top Ten Yeah Yeah Songs




I really wanted to pay tribute to the late Glenn Frey this week (far too many of our heroes are dying young at the moment), but sadly I'm moving house* on Monday so I don't have a spare second. But Glenn... you'll be missed.

(*I would have reposted My Top Ten Songs About Moving House, but as it's only 18 months since our last move - don't ask - it seemed too soon.)

Instead, here's one I prepared earlier...



It all begins with The Beatles... or so they say. Of course, the Beatles didn't invent rock 'n' roll, but maybe they did invent pop music. OK, pop music had been around for a long time before the Fab Four hit the Cavern, but maybe pop music wouldn't mean what it means today if it hadn't been for the Beatles. I dunno, Bob Stanley or someone far smarter than me about pop music will have a theory on that, I'm sure. Anyway, ten songs indebted, one way or another, to the chorus hook of She Loves You, since, if we can only agree on one thing today, it's that the Beatles surely invented the idea of putting more than one yeah together in a song lyric.

Yeah, yeah, yeah...

Oh, and special mention, of course, to Karen O and The Yeah Yeah Yeahs.


10. Spiritualized - Yeah Yeah

"It's like the Kings of Leon..... but good," is the funniest youtube comment I've read this week.

J. Spaceman is still a bit of a dick though. More incisive musical criticism to follow.

9. Cyndi Lauper - Yeah Yeah

Sometimes, even at the height of her fame, Cyndi was a little bit too kooky for her own good.

8. Cheap Trick - Yeah Yeah

Before they became leading lights of the power pop scene, Cheap Trick had more of a hard rock sound on their eponymous debut album in 1977. Twenty years later, they released a second eponymous album which harkened back to their early days. This comes from that.

7. Jackson Browne - Yeah Yeah

This one's only from a couple of years ago, but it sounds like it could have been lifted from Browne's 70s heyday. The guitar also sounds very reminiscent of Warren Zevon's Werewolves of London, but as Browne produced that and was good friends with Warren, we'll let him off.

6. Black Grape - Yeah Yeah, Brother

Dedicated to the woman who betrayed Shaun Ryder.

You wouldn't want that on your cv.

5. The Pioneers - Let Your Yeah Be Yeah

Written and produced by Jimmy Cliff, taking a biblical quotation (Matthew 5:37, scripture fans) and turning it into a chat up line. The reggae original is the most well-known very, but Brownsville Station also did a pretty cool hard-rocking version too.

4. The Pogues - Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

What if the Pogues had been around in the 60s? They might have appeared on Ready, Steady, Go as in this video recreation... but I don't think Shane would have been allowed to sing, "I love your breasts, I love your thighs".

3. Georgie Fame & The Blue Flames - Yeh Yeh

Clive Powell wasn't a very rock 'n' roll name, was it? Apparently, Clive / Georgie holds an interesting Top Ten record. The only three Top Ten singles he ever scored all went to Number One. He released plenty more singles, but the only ones that got into the Top Ten all went to the top of the chart. This was one of them... I'm sure you can guess the other two.

They Might Be Giants did a great cover of this too.

2. The Wedding Present - Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah Yeah

Always willing to go that extra Yeah to get your attention, David Gedge plays International Man of Mystery in this classic Weddoes single from Watusi. 

1. The Flaming Lips - The Yeah Yeah Yeah Song

Just as mental as anything else the Flaming Lips have ever recorded, but with an added political element. Wayne Coyne claims the song isn't only pointing the finger at clueless politicians but also asking us what we would do if we were in the same position.

I never copy stuff word for word from iffypedia, but their description of the video is even more funny than the video itself...
The music video has three segments. In the first, Asian women forcibly tape hamburgers to a businessman and then he is let loose, chased by several shirtless obese men and watched by amused but non-interfering police officers. In the second segment, a woman resembling Gwen Stefani similarly covered by doughnuts (suggesting that the three Asian women are supposed to criticize Stefani's objectification of her entourage of four women who play "Harajuku Girls"), and is chased by the police officers. In the third segment, Wayne Coyne - who portrays a ruthless leader - has raw steaks and some lengths of intestine stapled to him and gets chased by a werewolf.




Which one makes you go Yeah Yeah Yeah? And which one makes you go No No No?


Sunday, 10 November 2013

My Top Ten Don't Cry Songs


Sam isn't a bad kid when it comes to crying. I've heard tell of babies who are much, much worse. But there are times... times when nothing we do will soothe him, when we feel that crushing mix of frustration, guilt and pain which every parent must grow to understand. Still, music has powers to soothe the savage beast, to paraphrase William... Congreve. (Yeah, I thought it was Shakey, too.) Here's ten tunes to do just that...


10. Oasis - Stop Crying Your Heart Out

Every time I include an Oasis song in a Top Ten, an angel loses its wings. This is one of those rare compositions from the monobrowed chuckle brothers that doesn't annoy the jogging bottoms off me. Still... sorry, seraphim.

9. Elkie Brooks - Don't Cry Out Loud

A hit in the US for Melissa Manchester (it was written by Peter Allen and Carole Bayer-Sager), but Elkie's UK hit is a little less Streisand. 

8. Frankie Valli & The Four Seasons - Big Girls Don't Cry

Silly boys...

7. The Streets - Dry Your Eyes

I really shouldn't dig Mike Skinner's soppy Ray Winstone Jr. routine... And yet...

6. Guns 'n' Roses - Don't Cry

Never ones to do things by halves, GnR actually released two different versions of this song (the lyrics of the verses were entirely different) as part of the mammoth double album exercise in self-destruction that was Use Your Illusion. This is the alternate version. If you're sad, like me, you might want to compare the two. They blew the video budget on the first version though.

5. Richard Hawley - Don't You Cry

 Epic (10 & 1/2 minutes) sadness from the Sheffield Sinatra.

4. The Pretenders - Stop Your Sobbing

Written by Ray Davies (Chrissie Hynde's boyfriend at the time - what a cradle snatcher!) and originally recorded by The Kinks... though the Pretenders made it their own with a little new wave bite. Their debut single - hard to believe it only reached #34 in the charts.

3. Spiritualized - Stop Your Crying

Phil Spector has a lot to answer for.

"Orchestra? Check. Choir? Check. Gratuitous destruction of musical instruments? Check. Kitchen sink? Where's that bloody kitchen sink!?"

2. The Cure - Boys Don't Cry

So, tell me, Mad Bob McMad, why exactly don't boys cry? It can't be for fear of making their eyeliner run...

1. INXS - Baby Don't Cry

Probably my favourite INXS song, a joyously anthemic pop cookie. What U2 might sound like if Bono wasn't such an utter knob.
 



Which one stops your sobbing?

Friday, 21 June 2013

My Top Ten Longest Songs


As today is the longest day of the year, I thought I'd try something different. Rather than my favourite songs on any particular subject, these are simply the longest tracks in my music player. I've discounted any that were lengthy due to a huge block of silence before a "hidden" track at the end of an album. Each of these really are as long as they say they are...


10. The Hours - See The Light

14 minutes, 17 seconds.

Title track from the second (and last?) Hours album, the full LP version clocks in at just under quarter of an hour. A much shorter version was released as a single, remixed by Calvin Harris (i.e. not as good) and featuring Sienna Miller going bonkers in the video.

9. Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds - Babe, I'm On Fire

14 minutes, 46 seconds.

Everyone says it, from the horse and the pig to the judge in his wig, the blind referee and unlucky amputee to the giant killer bee landing on my knee... and so on and so on and so on...

See also the majestic O'Malley's Bar which clocks in at a mighty 14 minutes 28 seconds and remains one of my all-time favourite Nick Cave recordings.

8. Spiritualized - Cop Shoot Cop...

16 minutes, 12 seconds.

From an album that originally came sealed in a huge, CD-shaped blister pack that you had to pop open / tear the foil before you could play the record. The track is listed as being 17 minutes 13 seconds long but it actually ends at 16' 12" before a minute's silence. Which is nice.

7. Joni Mitchell - Paprika Plains

16 minutes, 19 seconds.

Side 2 of the album Don Juan's Reckless Daughter, Mitchell apparently improvised the piano on the initial recording of this epic before adding orchestral flourishes to the finished mix. It's the sort of record you have to turn the lights down and listen to from start to finish... the sort of record our attention-span deficit way of listening to music these days means we'll rarely see the like of again.

6. George Gershwin - An American In Paris / Rhapsody In Blue

16 minutes, 34 seconds.

I left out the classical music from this countdown (yes, there is some in my collection!) as it would have unfairly dominated. I couldn't exclude Gershwin however, that wonderful bridge between classical and pop. There are various versions of An American In Paris (many full orchestra versions are over 18 minutes) but I stuck with the Gershwin Plays Gershwin version I own, though the one on youtube isn't quite up to mine.

Even better is Rhapsody In Blue at 14 minutes, 24 seconds... sheer bliss!

5. Neil Young - Ordinary People 

18 minutes, 12 seconds.

From the album Chrome Dreams II, which also features the 14 minute, 33 second No Hidden Path, which would have squeezed its way onto this chart had I not restricted myself to one long song per artist.

4. Love - Revelation

19 minutes, 4 seconds.

The whole of Side 2 of Love's second album is this one track. Originally named John Lee Hooker, it's pretty much Arthur Lee and mates jamming in the studio till the tape runs out, though the title suggests it has something in common with our Number One song too.

3. Sonic Youth - The Diamond Sea

19 minutes, 36 seconds.

From the album Washing Machine. A five and a half minute single edit was released also (along with a 26 minute "alternative ending" version that would have put this at Number One, except I don't own that version). A pretty cool song, though the last ten minutes is largely piano and feedback, so all in all I'll stick with the single.

2. Paddy McAloon - I Trawl The Megahertz

22 minutes, 6 seconds.

I'm a huge Prefab Sprout fan, so when I first heard Paddy's solo album, I was slightly disappointed. It's very different from the Sprout, but I guess that's the point. Paddy only actually sings on one song and the title track features a story poem narrated by Yvonne Connors. It's a haunting listen, made all the more poignant when you realise it reflects McAloon's worsening eye condition and the lonely nights he spent with only voices on the radio for company.

1. Genesis - Supper's Ready 

22 minutes, 54 seconds.

Originally from the album Foxtrot, though my copy comes from the 3-disc Platinum Collection. To be honest, I've only listened to this all the way through a couple of times. It's interesting in places, but perhaps a little bit too prog even for me. Gabriel described it as, "a personal journey that ends up walking through [The Book of Revelation]". Amusingly though, it all begins with him walking across his sitting room and turning off the telly...



Of course, it's not the length that matters, it's what you do with it.

What's your longest song?
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