I know it's Sunday morning, Denzel, but I expect people to at least change out of their dressing gowns if they're going to play Saturday Snapshots. Then again, if you got game... you probably don't need an Equalizer... to achieve Glory.
Following on from last week's post featuring songs about defunct retailers, I felt I had to do a post about the ones that are still going strong... well, as I type this, anyway.
Can you ever imagine Neil Tennant setting foot in a Carphone Warehouse?
That Carphone Warehouse boy Has been on the phone He wants to upgrade The mobile you own Have you realised Your computer's a spy? Give him a ring He'll explain why... The bourgeoisie Will get over it Look at me I'm SO over it!
For anyone who thinks William Shatner is the maddest actor to make records, may I present The Dude himself. He abides.
When I die there will be no burial or cremation. I have contracted with spacementary. To store my remains on board an eternal satellite. My body will forever loop around the planet and omit a flashing light whenever it passes over a memorable location. Like that bar at Roundel Beach where we first met. Or IKEA.
And you're standing at the chemist in Boots Coughing up your guts like you're at deaths door All this for a packet of Do-Do's And the assistant gives you a wink and you turn bright red It's at time like this that you wish you were dead And you take the whole packet and you feel like you've drunk A bottle of bleach And you tell yourself 'Never, never again Well, not until next week anyway'
Too long since Eddie Argos and his gang have featured here.
Another time I'd overheard you saying you were going into town And at the time I lived right in between two towns, but I wasn't quite sure which one you meant So I bought a bus pass, I went to both of them, and frantically looked for you everywhere And when I finally saw you at WH Smith's, I got scared
Meanwhile, Alex has his eye on a girl from Topshop...
I fancy you with a passion Oh, you're a Topshop princess, a rockstar, too But you're a fad and you're a fashion And I'm having a job trying to talk to you
See also Art Brut - Bad Weekend, their second entry this week for more Topshop shenanigans.
It doesn't get much more kitchen sink than this... (Do Debenham's sell kitchen sinks?)
Monday morning, wake up knowing that you've got to go to school Tell your mum what to expect, she says it's right out of the blue Do you want to work in Debenham's because that's what they expect? Start in Lingerie, and Doris is your supervisor
Run away from this godforsaken place And hide away from everybody's prying face You told Deborah that he is the one You're going to quit Debenham's Elope and get married in the sun
If you really want a Mars Bar, Feargal suggests you raid the Spar. And I'm sure that by "raid" he means form an orderly queue and purchase it with your hard-earned money.
Thanks to Rigid Digit for suggesting this last week, but believe me, it was already guaranteed a place. Boots and Primark also get a mention in this classic, but it's Millets who take the prize with one of the greatest lines ever written in a pop song. And yet they still gave Bob Dylan the Nobel Prize for Literature instead of Nigel Blackwell.
There's a man with a mullet going mad with a mallet in Millet's
Try saying that five times fast without your teeth in.
1. Mott The Hoople - All The Young Dudes
M&S started life as a market stall in Kirkgate Market, Leeds, not that far from me, way back in 1894. Since then, they've done all right for themselves... at least in term of getting noticed by songwriters.
I could have chosen any of the following (and there are probably more)...
Here I am in Amsterdam I like it here, they speak my language Even though it's not my own It's got BBC for comfort zone And best of all, it's got Marks and Spencer's Equality for the masses never felt better
So I gave myself to God There was a pregnant pause before he said okay Now I spend my days turning tables round in Marks & Spencer They don't seem to mind
Well, you may believe in Jesus, and you may believe in Marx And you may believe in Marks and Spencer's and you maybe believe in bloody Woolworths But there's something missing in this whole bloody stew
But really, there was only ever going to be one winner this week...
And Wendy's stealing clothes from Marks & Sparks And Freddy's got spots from ripping off the stars from his face Funky little boat race Television man is crazy saying we're juvenile delinquent wrecks Oh, man, I need TV, when I've got T.Rex
Although the version they played on the radio at the time made them change the lyric to "And Wendy's stealing clothes from unlocked cars" so as not to breach advertising regulations!
Anyone got a copy of Bob Dylan's tribute to TK Maxx? Do let me know...
