Well done to Alyson for a clear victory this week, even stepping away to let others have a go. Thanks for playing, as always. Very quick answers this week because I have to assemble some more bloody IKEA furniture...
10. Interesting snooker player in sou'wester sacrifices his glory days to music.
And thanks to CC, I just discovered Jigsaw's other "hit", Journey Into Space. Which is great, because it has almost the same tune as Sky High, with added moog effects.
The above photo couldn't help but remind me of Les McQueen...
4. Telephoto Thom in a muddle about junior Lebowskis.
Eton the town is far less famous than the private school that's based there, an upper class breeding ground of famous actors, politicians and pig-fanciers. Not many famous musicians attended Eton... it's not particularly rock n roll, is it? The only famous musical almunus I could find was Frank Turner... which might explain his rather odd political beliefs. No, he's not a Tory... but he's not really the lefty punk rock rebel you might expect either. He's a libertarian anarchist, apparently. He basically thinks we shouldn't have politicians at all... and in the current climate, I think quite a few people may be coming round to his way of thinking.
And that's it. I can't think of any other Eton songs, can you?
What's that?
Oh... this one...?
Sup up your beer and collect your fags There's a row going on down near slough Get out your mat and pray to the west I'll get out mine and pray for myself Thought you were smart when you took them on But you didn't take a peep in their artillery room All that rugby puts hairs on your chest What chance have you got against a tie and a crest?
The Beta 58s welcome us to the latest number on our countdown... proof that punk isn't dead, but it hasn't grown any more braincells.
Straight on to your suggestions for this week...
C started the ball rolling, bringing back a band from last week...
You had Blondie for 59 - you can have them again for 58 with I'm On E:
I gave my car to a guy named Vinnie I feel like gassin' my feet They've totalled your bill and you skipped a beat I used to have a car of my own Twenty eight or fifty eight
That was the b-side of Denis, in case anybody was wondering. Wonder if it'll return in 30 weeks time?
Rigid Digit was on fire this week with 4 top suggestions...
And yes, you would be right. It's not acceptable. For all the reasons. Your second offering wasn't much better, although you did note that it was "a bit heavy on the guitar solo noodling side".
I'd still rather listen to that than New Order though. I will horrify many of you by saying I'd rather listen to If You Leave Me Now than New Order too. I'm sorry. Old scars run deep.
And while I'm in the business of horrifying you all... and comparing Mancunian icons with cheesy American rockers, here's two suggestions my music library threw up this week...
Out of the frying pan And into the fire 58th variety Out of the frying pan And into the fire Mother had her son for tea
Yeah, there was a bit of sarcasm there, the idea that Siouxsie could restore sanity to anything.
The Swede was late this week, claiming "C got there before me" (not sure if that was Blondie or Siouxsie) "so all I can offer is Ronsard '58 by Serge Gainsbourg." That is actually in my record collection, though I'm worried I'll have to have it deported after Brexit.
All of which brings us to this week's winner, which was firsted by Rigid Digit and seconded by South West Correspondent. I have to admit, I haven't listened to The Bends in ages, so I'd forgotten how good this track was... it has a great opening line too! ("I get home from work and you're still standing in your dressing gown".)
The troubled words of a troubled mind
I try to understand what is eating you,
I try to stay awake but its 58 hours since I last slept with you
Next week is an easy win for me. I know exactly who the winning artist will be. Less easy to decide which song though...
Your suggestions, as always, will be gratefully received...
If you're a music blogger, and you choose the records you write about because you think other people will think they're cool... and by extension that you are cool for liking them... then you are being a music blogger for the wrong reason. Go be a music journalist if you want people to think you're cool. Go work for the NME. (Well, what's left of it.) Some people - the ones who follow the crowd - may end up thinking you're cool. The rest of us will probably think you're a tool who occasionally gets it right, but... well, at least you'll be getting paid.
No, if you're a music blogger, you you never choose your songs because of what other people might think - about the songs or about you. You should just go ahead and pick the songs you like, write about them, and please yourself. Screw what anybody else thinks. The really cool people (not the NME journalists) will respect you for that, even if they don't agree with you.
Many fine (and cool) songs were suggested for the number 69. Here's a selection...
Oh, and of course, Charity Chic had to throw in a mention for this lot, who would have been at the top of the page were it not for my favourite Magnetic Fields album...
Other contenders from my own record collection included...
Phew - 69 appears to be an inextricably popular number with popular musicians. Go figure.
In the end though, I refer you all back to my opening paragraphs. There could only be one winner this week, even though I knew it wouldn't be a particularly popular choice in many quarters. It's a song I've written about before here and may even do so again. Sorry if you don't like it: your loss.
(Oh, and in case you're going to accuse me of choosing a year song when there were some fine non-year tracks I could have had instead... well, Bryan himself claims this song isn't about 1969 at all...)
68 next week, and an equally obvious choice for me. We'll see if you agree...
This week's image is taken from "New York's leading 70s DANCE/DISCO/FUNK group performing to packed dance floors every week". Only a wedding band then, but from watching their corporate video, they seem pretty slick... and very appropriate for this week's edition of the Hot 100 Countdown as virtually all the songs I had - or that you suggested - were about 70s. In fact, the only ones that didn't were these from Jim in Dubai...
...but despite being pretty good, it was disqualified on two fronts: firstly, it's really a song about 490; secondly, the lead singer disgraced himself recently. You can read about that elsewhere if you want to, but I have a friend whose favourite band was Brand New... and when all that came out, he took his albums down the charity shop.
The rest of this week's entries fall into two camps then - songs about the year 1970... and songs about the 70s decade. Let's start with the year... and get our token Mott The Hoople mention out of the way first thing...
In Seventy we all agreed A King's Road flat was the place to be 'Cause Chelsea girls are the best in the world for company
Ringo Starr - Early 1970... which, if you've never heard it, is definitely worth a listen as it tells you just how Ringo felt about the Beatles breaking up... and it's really quite touching.
Onto the 70s decade then...
Martin set the ball rolling with this... which was quickly seconded by Lynchie…
Hall & Oates - 70s Scenario (from War Babies, the most mental Hall & Oates album, the one that Todd Rundgren produced)
This week's winner though was identified by Rigid Digit. One of my favourites from Mr. Harcourt... which I appreciate as a child of the 70s myself... although I'm a little older than Ed.
I was born the year punk broke Days before the king was dead It was the year of the snake I was a red-faced child Who stumbled where he tread Was kept in orderly file My parents name me Ed I tried my hardest to smile
Can't we just skip 69 and go straight on to 68? No? Oh well, I guess I'll see you next week then for the inevitable... your suggestions are welcome regardless.
The band SR-71 (named after a Lockheed fighter plane) have actually featured on this blog before as they recorded the original version of my favourite Bowling For Soup Song, 1985. They also had a couple other minor hits, most notably Right Now. Worth a listen if you like the early noughties American guitar band sound of Blink-182 et al.
Songwise, the number 71 proved much trickier for you guys. In fact, this is the closest this feature has yet got to...
Alyson tried her best with '71 I Think I'll Make A New World by the Magnetic Fields, from one of my favourite albums of last year, but as I may have mentioned when I began this feature many, many weeks ago, I'd ruled that album out; otherwise I could have featured one of its songs every week so far. Each track on the album is about one year in Stephin Merritt's life, so I could have chosen this glorious gem for '78 or this belter for '77 or this euphoric classic for '76... well, you get the picture. Time will sadly run out for this as an option come '66 Wonder Where I'm From, the opening track on 50 Song Memoir. Until then, you're welcome to suggest them even though technically they're disqualified.
The only other suggestion this week came from Rigid Digit - and yes, it was another one that could have satisfied multiple entries on this countdown: Saturday Gigs by Mott The Hoople...
In Seventy-one all the people come
Bust a few seats but it's just in fun
Take the Mick out of Top of the Pops
We play better than they do
That one's only got a couple more weeks to run too.
What else did I find lurking in my record collection for Number Seventy-One then?
The final track on the album Black Cadillac by Roseanne Cash is called 0:71. The record was written while Cash was dealing with the recent loss of her mother (Johnny's first wife, Vivian Liberto Cash Distin), stepmother (June) and father, but 0:71 isn't actually a song... it's 71 seconds of silence. One second for every year of Johnny's life. A cool tribute, but hardly a "song" I can choose to represent 71 in the Hot 100.
Fortunately, I didn't have to rely on it because I also found this, from the late Jason Molina's second band (his first was Songs: Ohia). Some nice, laidback Americana for a Tuesday morning...
Which brings us to 70. Hopefully there'll be less tumbleweed next week, though I still expect some Mott The Hoople...
To illustrate this feature, I always try to find a band with that week's number in their name. It's not always possible, and most weeks I end up choosing a band I've never heard of. This week, however, here's an artist I actually own a couple of records by, the delightful JJ72. Where are they now, eh?
1972 was the year of my birth and so I've already done a Top Ten 1972 Songs. Well done to new commenter MisterPrime (unless it's someone else using an alias) for correctly identifying the top song in that list.
A couple more 1972 suggestions did trickle in this week though...
I think it may have been Mr. C who suggested this...
...which you really need to click on because you'll never have heard anything like it before. Unless you have.
Rigid Digit returned with this week's token lyrical mention of Saturday Gigs by Mott The Hoople, which I'm happy to keep mentioning for the next three weeks as it's great. However, RD didn't stop then with his Hoople...
...which may well explain why he sings the way he does.
I paid fifteen million dollars, twelve hundred and seventy-two cents I paid one thousand, two hundred twenty-seven dollars and fifty-five cents To see my bulldog bite a rabbit And my hound dog's just sittin' on a barbed-wire fence
Some confusion there also as to how much Bob actually paid. Seems rather a lot, whatever it was.
(Personally though, I think that song's just a riff.)
Furry Boots City Boy, The Artist Formerly Known As Lynchie, offered this pleasant little number...
...further proof that American highways will continue to provide fodder for this series if all else fails.
Rigid Digit identified this week's runner-up, and I'd fully second his statement that, "there is so much more to this band than "Sit Down" - creators of consistently fine albums"...
Following on from last week's post featuring songs about defunct retailers, I felt I had to do a post about the ones that are still going strong... well, as I type this, anyway.
Can you ever imagine Neil Tennant setting foot in a Carphone Warehouse?
That Carphone Warehouse boy Has been on the phone He wants to upgrade The mobile you own Have you realised Your computer's a spy? Give him a ring He'll explain why... The bourgeoisie Will get over it Look at me I'm SO over it!
For anyone who thinks William Shatner is the maddest actor to make records, may I present The Dude himself. He abides.
When I die there will be no burial or cremation. I have contracted with spacementary. To store my remains on board an eternal satellite. My body will forever loop around the planet and omit a flashing light whenever it passes over a memorable location. Like that bar at Roundel Beach where we first met. Or IKEA.
And you're standing at the chemist in Boots Coughing up your guts like you're at deaths door All this for a packet of Do-Do's And the assistant gives you a wink and you turn bright red It's at time like this that you wish you were dead And you take the whole packet and you feel like you've drunk A bottle of bleach And you tell yourself 'Never, never again Well, not until next week anyway'
Too long since Eddie Argos and his gang have featured here.
Another time I'd overheard you saying you were going into town And at the time I lived right in between two towns, but I wasn't quite sure which one you meant So I bought a bus pass, I went to both of them, and frantically looked for you everywhere And when I finally saw you at WH Smith's, I got scared
Meanwhile, Alex has his eye on a girl from Topshop...
I fancy you with a passion Oh, you're a Topshop princess, a rockstar, too But you're a fad and you're a fashion And I'm having a job trying to talk to you
See also Art Brut - Bad Weekend, their second entry this week for more Topshop shenanigans.
It doesn't get much more kitchen sink than this... (Do Debenham's sell kitchen sinks?)
Monday morning, wake up knowing that you've got to go to school Tell your mum what to expect, she says it's right out of the blue Do you want to work in Debenham's because that's what they expect? Start in Lingerie, and Doris is your supervisor
Run away from this godforsaken place And hide away from everybody's prying face You told Deborah that he is the one You're going to quit Debenham's Elope and get married in the sun
If you really want a Mars Bar, Feargal suggests you raid the Spar. And I'm sure that by "raid" he means form an orderly queue and purchase it with your hard-earned money.
Thanks to Rigid Digit for suggesting this last week, but believe me, it was already guaranteed a place. Boots and Primark also get a mention in this classic, but it's Millets who take the prize with one of the greatest lines ever written in a pop song. And yet they still gave Bob Dylan the Nobel Prize for Literature instead of Nigel Blackwell.
There's a man with a mullet going mad with a mallet in Millet's
Try saying that five times fast without your teeth in.
1. Mott The Hoople - All The Young Dudes
M&S started life as a market stall in Kirkgate Market, Leeds, not that far from me, way back in 1894. Since then, they've done all right for themselves... at least in term of getting noticed by songwriters.
I could have chosen any of the following (and there are probably more)...
Here I am in Amsterdam I like it here, they speak my language Even though it's not my own It's got BBC for comfort zone And best of all, it's got Marks and Spencer's Equality for the masses never felt better
So I gave myself to God There was a pregnant pause before he said okay Now I spend my days turning tables round in Marks & Spencer They don't seem to mind
Well, you may believe in Jesus, and you may believe in Marx And you may believe in Marks and Spencer's and you maybe believe in bloody Woolworths But there's something missing in this whole bloody stew
But really, there was only ever going to be one winner this week...
And Wendy's stealing clothes from Marks & Sparks And Freddy's got spots from ripping off the stars from his face Funky little boat race Television man is crazy saying we're juvenile delinquent wrecks Oh, man, I need TV, when I've got T.Rex
Although the version they played on the radio at the time made them change the lyric to "And Wendy's stealing clothes from unlocked cars" so as not to breach advertising regulations!
Anyone got a copy of Bob Dylan's tribute to TK Maxx? Do let me know...
I think we'll call this week pretty much unanimous, shall we, and just spend the rest of the morning sat out in the garden?
With apologies to The Connells, who were cheated out of a place on the countdown for the second week running, and Mott The Hoople who had a great lyrical offering with Saturday Gigs... although, as Charity Chic pointed out, they can enter this song again for the next five weeks.
C was the first to suggest this week's winner, but she soon found support from Lynchie, Charity Chic, Rigid Digit and Alyson. I don't think any song has ever received so many votes on this feature, and while that wouldn't always sway the judge... I have to admit, Teenage Lament '74 may well be my favourite Alice Cooper song (although I do also have a soft spot for his cheesy 80s output).
Here's something you might not know about Teenage Lament '74. (I didn't, until now.) Who sings backing vocals?
Only Ronnie Spector, Labelle, the Pointer Sisters... and Liza Minnelli. No, I'm not making that up.
I ran into my room And I fell down on my knees Well, I thought that fifteen Was gonna be a breeze I picked up my guitar To blast away the clouds But somebody in the next room yelled "You gotta turn that damned thing down!"
Will '73 be as easy to call? I doubt it. Your suggestions welcome...
After Tuesday's Top Ten Chuck Berry Songs, The Swede asked if there was any danger of a Volume 2. I'm sure this isn't quite what he meant, but hopefully it'll do...
It was inevitable Chuck would find his way into the lyrics of some of the musicians he influenced. Here are ten of the best Chuck references I could find...
Jeffreys had been making music for over 20 years when a racist insult led him to record this track asking for a little acceptance, reminding the bigots that the black fathers of rock 'n' roll such as Chuck, Little Richard, Bo Diddley and Fats Domino paved the way for Elvis, Gene, Buddy and Jerry...
Hey - remember the Rainmakers? Let My People Go-Go? Those guys. They didn't just have one record, you know.
Well, we're rounding St. Louis and heading for the coast When we pick up Chuck Berry in a little rowboat With one oar in the water and one in the air A lightning rod for a white guitar And lightning struck once, and lightning struck twice And I said "If there's a God, He sure ain't nice" And Chuck said "God is an Indian giver I don't trust nothing but the Mississippi River"
Obviously more a song about John Lennon than Chuck Berry ("I could sell your songs to Nike"), but Chuck does play a very important part...
When John called the wind an opera Making love with every chakra When he said her voice would carry And when he whispered old Chuck Berry Only then would Yoko set him free
They came this mornin' with a dog on a chain They came and took my little brother away His generation never even got a name My momma was a rocker way back in ´53 Buys them old records that they sell on T.V. I know Chuck Berry wasn't singin' that to me
Dar Williams and Amy Rigby in the same post... that's the power of Chuck Berry. Wreckless Eric fans, you'll find Mr. Rigby accompanying here too.
I saw my baby sitting there at the breakfast table His hair a mess and he forgot to shave And I wished that he would get up, make it all better Stop drinking so much, learn how to behave Then the radio was playing a Chuck Berry song And he was looking at me asking what was wrong I made a list of the things I could say But he gave me a wink and it all went away, I told him Hey I love you, you're perfect, don't ever change Don't ever change
First person to point out that Don't Ever Change was a Crickets song loses a point.
The greatest guitarist I've ever seen play live is Richard Thompson. It was a solo show, but I swear it sounded like there were three of him. I've seen some amazing guitar players before and after, but nothing that quite matched RT.
Here he is showing his chops, playing tribute to some of his own guitar heroes... including Les Paul, Django Reinhardt, The Shadows and Chuck Berry.
Jim Steinman is, officially, as mad as ten lorries, so when I say to you that this spoken word story, first featured on his ill-fated solo album and then rechristened and reused many years later on Bat Out Of Hell II... when I say to you that this is Jim's greatest moment of pure insanity... that's saying something. Obviously inspired, in part, by Jim Morrison's lyrics to The End, this features Young Jim S. bashing the shit out of his guitar till it bleeds the colour of wild berries... yes, it's "Chuck Berry red"... before taking the poor guitar upstairs to his father's bedroom to bash the shit out of his old man.
The story doesn't end the way you expect.
1. ELO - Rockaria
Jeff falls for an opera singer....
She's sweet on WagnerI think she'd die for BeethovenShe loves the way Puccini lays down a tuneAnd Verdi's always creeping from her room
And she ain't gonna rock 'n' roll. How will he convert her?
Well we were reelin' and a rockin' all through the nightYeah, we were rockin' at the opera house until the break of lightAnd the orchestra were playin' all Chuck Berry's greatest tunes...
Can't believe I've never thought of doing this one before. Ten songs dedicated to The Dude... or his Dudeness... or Duder... or El Duderino, if you're not into that whole "brevity" thing. Because... he abides.
I don't know a lot about Scatterbrain and I've no idea where I first came across this track. Described by iffypedia as an "American thrash metal band", this is probably their most poppy and commercial number - a Top 20 hit in Australia back in 1990. They're a band with an obvious sense of humour... and that always wins my attention.
Who is it That ain't got time for foolish talkin'? Who is it That looks so clean you can't ignore him?
Featuring Michael Jackson, James Ingram and Patti Austin on backing vocals, they don't get much dudier than this one!
I'm a stone cold taker, I'm a piggy bank shaker, An' I don't waste my time talkin' trash... So if you go to my school, You gotta learn this rule — Don't let your mouth write a check That your body can't cash!
Poor old Crispian Mills, forever cursed to be known as Hayley's annoying Britpop son. Give Kula Shaker some credit, musicologists - they were far less derivative than Oasis! This is their biggest original hit (their only other Number 2 was a cover of Deep Purple's Hush) and it stands the test of time pretty well.
The album this came from, Pretzel Logic, is currently on rotation in my car. Great driving music - keeps the road rage at bay... unless you find yourself face to face with a wild squonk along the way.
Have you ever seen a squonk's tears? Well, look at mine The people on the street have all seen better times
A squonk, in case you're wondering, is a mythical Pennsylvanian creature that looks a little bit like a turd on legs (according to google images).
Originally titled 'Cruisin' For A Lady', Steven Tyler was persuaded to change the title by openly gay songwriter Desmond Child (Tyler thought it'd be offensive to the gay community, Child said 'bollocks' to that). Apparently the inspiration came when Tyler saw a hot blonde in a bar that he was about to hit on... until he realised it was Mötley Crüe vocalist Vince Neil...
Never judge a book by it's cover Or who you gonna love by your lover Sayin' love put me wise to her love in disguise She had the body of a Venus, Lord imagine my surprise!
The Dude's own personal favourite (until his car is broken into and they steal his tape deck AND his Creedence); some may dispute its inclusion here since the "dudes" of the chorus are often interpreted as "doo doo doos". But after The Big Lebowski, it's impossible to hear it any other way. I really hope The Dude got his tape deck back. And his Creedence.
1. Mott The Hoople - All The Young Dudes
If anyone ever pauses to question the prolific genius of peak period Bowie, consider this: one of his best songs, and he happily gave it away to save the career of Mott The Hoople. ATYD begins with one of the most memorable guitar hooks in the history of rock before the triumphant end of the world as we know it lyrics kick in - but we feel fine. A rallying call for a generation that rejects the Beatles & Stones in favour of T-Rex, this had to be re-recorded for BBC airplay because Wendy stole her clothes from Marks & Sparks. (It was the advertising they didn't like, not the shoplifting.) Apparently there's a version where Wendy steels her clothes from unlocked cars... but I don't think I've ever heard that.
Those were my favourite Dude songs. Which one takes you bowling?
Don't expect either Maroon 5 or Christina Aguilera to be making regular appearances on this blog, but as it's Mick's birthday and he apparently finds this track "very flattering", I pretty much had to give it spin.
I actually used this in my class to demonstrate the use of simile in pop song.
A slight cheat, but The Verve were famously sued by Andrew Loog Oldham for sampling his cover of The Last Time (by The Stones) on Bittersweet Symphony with the credits on that track being forcibly changed to Jagger / Richards / Ashcroft and 100% of the royalties ending up with Mick 'n' Keef.
The Rolling People comes from the same album, and presumably was written and recorded before all that kicked off. It still sounds pretty cool...
I got a freaky old lady name o' Cocaine Kitty who embroiders on my jeans
I got my poor ol' grey haired daddy, drivin' my limousine
Now it's all designed to blow our minds but our minds won't really be blown
Like the blow that'll getcha when you get your picture on the cover of The Rolling Stone
There is great debate over who this song is actually about... and Mick Jagger is only one of many suspects (Warren Beatty, David Geffen and Nick Nolte are also likely candidates). Whether Mick is the vain one (he probably thinks this song is about him), he did sing backing vocals on Carly's biggest hit... and it's too good a song not to include here. Amazing lyrics...
Ooh... controversial. Hands up if you thought this would be Number One?
How does it feel...?
1. The Temptations - Papa Was A Rolling Stone
Better than Dylan? I'll leave that to the musos to argue over. For me, this is the Temps finest hour, one of the greatest basslines in the history of pop, and the intro alone gets it to the top spot.
